Jemima

THERE

HERE was a little girl, she wore a little hood, And a curl down the middle of her forehead, When she was good, she was very, very good,

But when she was bad, she was horrid.

One day she went upstairs, while her parents, unawares, In the kitchen down below were occupied with meals, And she stood upon her head, on her little truckle-bed, And she then began hurraying with her heels.

Her mother heard the noise, and thought it was the boys, A-playing at a combat in the attic,

But when she climbed the stair and saw Jemima there, She took and she did whip her most emphatic !

Anon.

A Strange Wild Song

HE thought he saw a Buffalo

Upon the chimney-piece :

He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.

"Unless you leave this house," he said,

"I'll send for the Police."

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the 'bus:

He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.

"If this should stay to dine," he said,
"There won't be much for us!"

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:

He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.

"Were I to swallow this," he said,
"I should be very ill."

He thought he saw a Coach and Four
That stood beside his bed:

He looked again and found it was

A Bear without a Head.

"Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing! It's waiting to be fed!"

He thought he saw an Albatross

That fluttered round the Lamp:

He looked again, and found it was
A Penny Postage-Stamp.

"You'd best be getting home," he said :

"The nights are very damp!"

He thought he saw a Garden Door
That opened with a key:

He looked again, and found it was
A Double-Rule-of-Three:
"And all its mystery," he said,
"Is clear as day to me!"

He thought he saw an Argument
That proved he was the Pope :
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.

"A fact so dread," he faintly said,
"Extinguishes all hope!"

Sage Counsel

HE lion is the beast to fight:

THE

He leaps along the plain,

And if you run with all your might,

He runs with all his mane.

I'm glad I'm not a Hottentot,
But if I were, with outward cal-lum
I'd either faint upon the spot

Or hie me up a leafy pal-lum.

The chamois is the beast to hunt :
He's fleeter than the wind,

And when the chamois is in front

The hunter is behind.

Lewis Carroll.

The Tyrolese make famous cheese

And hunt the chamois o'er the chaz-zums;

I'd choose the former, if you please,

For precipices give me spaz-zums.

The polar bear will make a rug
Almost as white as snow:
But if he gets you in his hug,

He rarely lets you go.

And Polar ice looks

very nice,

With all the colours of a prissum :

But, if you'll follow my advice,

Stay home and learn your catechissum.

THE Lion, the Lion, he dwells in the waste,

He has a big head and a very small waist ; But his shoulders are stark, and his jaws they are grim, And a good little child will not play with him.

Hilaire Belloc.