that is, some of the ladies are offended. I am heartily sorry for it, for I declare I would rather disoblige all the critics in the world, than one of the fair sex. They are concerned that I have represented some women vicious and affected: how can I help it? It is the business of a comic poet to paint the vices and follies of humankind; and there are but two sexes, male and female, men and women, which have a title to humanity: and if I leave one half of them out, the work will be imperfect. I should be very glad of an opportunity to make my compliment to those ladies who are offended; but they can no more expect it in a comedy, than to be tickled by a surgeon when he is letting them blood. They who are virtuous or discreet should not be offended; for such characters as these distinguish them, and make their beauties more shining and observed: and they who are of the other kind, may nevertheless pass for such, by seeming not to be displeased, or touched with the satire of this comedy. Thus have they also wrongfully accused me of doing them a prejudice, when I have in reality done them a service.

You will pardon me, Sir, for the freedom I take of making answers to other people, in an epistle which ought wholly to be sacred to yoù: but since I intend the play to be so too, I hope I may take the more liberty of justifying it, where it is in the right.

I must now, Sir, declare to the world how kind you have been to my endeavours; for in regard of what was well meant, you have excused what was ill performed. I beg you would continue the same method in your acceptance of this dedication. I know no other way of making a return to that humanity you showed, in protecting an infant, but by enrolling it in your service, now that it is of age and come into the world. Therefore be pleased to accept of this as an acknowledgment of the favour you have shown me, and an earnest of the real service and gratitude of, Sir, your most obliged, humble servant,

WILLIAM CONGREVE.

MOORS have this way (as story tells) to know
Whether their brats are truly got or no ;
Into the sea the new-born babe is thrown,
There, as instinct directs, to swim or drown.
A barbarous device to try if spouse
Has kept religiously her nuptial vows.

Such are the trials poets make of plays :
Only they trust to more inconstant seas;
So does our author this his child commit
To the tempestuous mercy of the pit,
To know if it be truly born of wit.

Critics, avaunt! for you are fish of prey,
And feed, like sharks, upon an infant play.
Be every monster of the deep away;
Let's a fair trial have, and a clear sea.

Let Nature work, and do not damn too soon,
For life will struggle long ere it sink down;
And will at least rise thrice before it drown.
Let us consider, had it been our fate,
Thus hardly to be proved legitimate!
I will not say, we'd all in danger been,

Were each to suffer for his mother's sin;

But, by my troth, I cannot avoid thinking

How nearly some good men might have 'scaped sinking.

But Heaven be praised this custom is confined
Alone to the offspring of the Muses' kind :
Our Christian cuckolds are more bent to pity;

I know not one Moor husband in the city.

I' th' good man's arms the chopping bastard thrives; For he thinks all his own that is his wife's.

Whatever fate is for this play designed,

The poet's sure he shall some comfort find:
For if his muse has played him false, the worst
That can befal him, is to be divorced;

You husbands judge, if that be to be cursed.

DRAMATIS PERSONE.

MASKWELL, a Villain; pretended Friend to MELLE-
FONT, Gallant to LADY TOUCHWOOD, and in love
with CYNTHIA.

LORD TOUCHWOOD, Uncle to MELLEFONT.
MELLEFONT, promised to and in love with CYNTHIA.
CARELESS, his Friend.

LORD FROTH, a solemn Coxcomb.

BRISK, a pert Coxcomb.

SIR PAUL PLYANT, an uxorious, foolish, old Knight; brother of LADY TOUCHWOOD, and Father of CYNTHIA.

SAYGRACE, Chaplain to LORD TOUCHWOOD.

LADY TOUCHWOOD, in love with MELLEFONT. CYNTHIA, Daughter of SIR PAUL by a former Wife, promised to MELLEFONT.

LADY FROTH, a great Coquette; pretender to poetry, wit, and learning.

LADY PLYANT, insolent to her Husband, and easy to any pretender.

Boy, Footmen, and Attendants.

SCENE. A Gallery in Lord Touchwood's House, with Chambers adjoining.