Wait. Sir Rowland, if you please.-The jade's so pert upon her preferment she forgets herself.

Mir. Come, sir, will you endeavour to forget yourself, and transform into Sir Rowland?

Wait. Why, sir, it will be impossible I should remember myself. Married, knighted, and attended all in one day! 'tis enough to make any man forget himself. The difficulty will be how to recover my acquaintance and familiarity with my former self, and fall from my transformation to a reformation into Waitwell. Nay, I shan't be quite the same Waitwell neither; for now, I remember me, I'm married, and can't be my own man again.

Ay there's my grief; that's the sad change of life,
To lose my title, and yet keep my wife.

[Exeunt.

in me!

ACT THE THIRD.

SCENE I.

A Room in Lady WISHFORT'S House.

Lady WISHFORT at her toilet, PEG waiting.
ADY WISH. Merciful! no news of
Foible yet?

Peg. No, madam.

Lady Wish. I have no more patience. If I have not fretted myself till I am pale again, there's no veracity Fetch me the red-the red, do you hear, sweet

Look

heart? An arrant ash-colour, as I am a person! you how this wench stirs ! Why dost thou not fetch me a little red? didst thou not hear me, Mopus ?

Peg. The red ratafia does your ladyship mean, or the cherry-brandy?

Lady Wish. Ratafia, fool! no, fool. Not the ratafia, fool-grant me patience!-I mean the Spanish paper,' idiot-complexion, darling. Paint, paint, paint, dost thou understand that, changeling, dangling thy hands like bobbins before thee? Why dost thou not stir, puppet? thou wooden thing upon wires!

Peg. Lord, madam, your ladyship is so impatient!—I cannot come at the paint, madam; Mrs. Foible has locked it up, and carried the key with her.

Lady Wish. A pox take you both!-fetch me the cherry-brandy then. [Exit PEG.] I'm as pale and as faint, I look like Mrs. Qualmsick, the curate's wife, that's

1 Spanish wool and Spanish paper were favourite cosmetics of the day.

always breeding.-Wench, come, come, wench, what art thou doing? sipping, tasting ?--Save thee, dost thou not know the bottle?

Re-enter PEG with a bottle and china cup.

Peg. Madam, I was looking for a cup.

Lady Wish. A cup, save thee! and what a cup hast thou brought!-Dost thou take me for a fairy, to drink out of an acorn? Why didst thou not bring thy thimble? Hast thou ne'er a brass thimble clinking in thy pocket with a bit of nutmeg ?—I warrant thee. Come, fill, fill !— So again. [Knocking at the door.]-See who that is.Set down the bottle first-here, here, under the table.— What, wouldst thou go with the bottle in thy hand, like a tapster? As I am a person, this wench has lived in an inn upon the road, before she came to me, like Maritornes the Asturian in Don Quixote !-No Foible yet?

Peg. No, madam; Mrs. Marwood.

Lady Wish. Oh, Marwood; let her come in.-Come in, good Marwood.

Enter Mrs. MARWOOD.

Mrs. Mar. I'm surprised to find your ladyship in dishabille at this time of day.

Lady Wish. Foible's a lost thing; has been abroad since morning, and never heard of since.

Mrs. Mar. I saw her but now, as I came masked through the park, in conference with Mirabell.

Lady Wish. With Mirabell !-You call my blood into my face, with mentioning that traitor. She durst not have the confidence! I sent her to negotiate an affair, in which, if I'm detected, I'm undone. If that wheedling villain has wrought upon Foible to detect me, I'm ruined. O my dear friend, I'm a wretch of wretches if I'm detected.

Mrs. Mar. O madam, you cannot suspect Mrs. Foible's integrity!

Con.

A A

Lady Wish. Oh, he carries poison in his tongue that would corrupt integrity itself! If she has given him an opportunity, she has as good as put her integrity into his hands. Ah, dear Marwood, what's integrity to an opportunity?-Hark! I hear her !-dear friend, retire into my closet, that I may examine her with more freedom.— You'll pardon me, dear friend; I can make bold with you. There are books over the chimney.-Quarles and Prynne, and "The Short View of the Stage," with Bunyan's works, to entertain you.-[To PEG.]-Go, you thing, and send her in. [Exeunt Mrs. MARWOOD and PEG.

Enter FOIBLE.

Lady Wish. O Foible, where hast thou been? what hast thou been doing?

Foib. Madam, I have seen the party.

Lady Wish. But what hast thou done?

Foib. Nay, 'tis your ladyship has done, and are to do; I have only promised. But a man so enamoured—so transported!-Well, here it is, all that is left; all that is not kissed away.—Well, if worshipping of pictures be a sin- -poor Sir Rowland, I say.

Lady Wish. The miniature has been counted like;— but hast thou not betrayed me, Foible? hast thou not detected me to that faithless Mirabell?-What hadst thou to do with him in the Park? Answer me, has he got nothing out of thee?

Foib. [Aside.] So the devil has been beforehand with me. What shall I say?—[Aloud.]—Alas, madam, could I help it, if I met that confident thing? was I in fault? If you had heard how he used me, and all upon your ladyship's account, I'm sure you would not suspect my fidelity. Nay, if that had been the worst, I could have borne; but he had a fling at your ladyship too; and then I could not hold; but i'faith I gave him his own.

Lady Wish. Me? what did the filthy fellow say? Foib. O madam! 'tis a shame to say what he said

with his taunts and his fleers, tossing up his nose. Humph! (says he) what, you are a hatching some plot (says he), you are so early abroad, or catering (says he), ferreting for some disbanded officer, I warrant.---Half-pay is but thin subsistence (says he) ;—well, what pension does your lady propose? Let me see (says he), what, she must come down pretty deep now, she's superannuated (says he) and

Lady Wish. Odds my life, I'll have him, I'll have him murdered! I'll have him poisoned! Where does he eat?—I'll marry a drawer to have him poisoned in his wine. I'll send for Robin from Locket's immediately.

Foib. Poison him! poisoning's too good for him. Starve him, madam, starve him; marry Sir Rowland, and get him disinherited. Oh you would bless yourself to hear what he said!

Lady Wish. A villain! superannuated!

Foib. Humph (says he), I hear you are laying designs against me too (says he), and Mrs. Millamant is to marry my uncle (he does not suspect a word of your ladyship); but (says he) I'll fit you for that. I warrant you (says he) I'll hamper you for that (says he); you and your old frippery too (says he); I'll handle you—

Lady Wish. Audacious villain! handle me; would he durst!-Frippery! old frippery! was there ever such a foul-mouthed fellow? I'll be married to-morrow, I'll be contracted to-night.

Foib. The sooner the better, madam.

Lady Wish. Will Sir Rowland be here, sayest thou? when, Foible?

Foib. Incontinently, madam. No new sheriff's wife expects the return of her husband after knighthood with that impatience in which Sir Rowland burns for the dear hour of kissing your ladyship's hand after dinner.

Lady Wish. Frippery! superannuated frippery! I'll frippery the villain; I'll reduce him to frippery and rags! a tatterdemalion! I hope to see him hung with tatters,