D. JOHN. I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.

D. PEDRO. O day untowardly turned!

CLAUD. O mischief strangely thwarting!

D. JOHN. O plague right well prevented! so will you say when you have seen the sequel.

[Exeunt. 121

SCENE III-A STREET

Enter DOGBERRY and VERGES with the Watch

DOG. Are you good men and true?

VERG. Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.

DOG. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the prince's watch.

VERG. Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.

DOG. First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?

FIRST WATCH. Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Sea- 10 cole; for they can write and read.

DOG. Come hither, neighbour Seacole. God hath

116 bear it coldly] take it coolly.

10 George Seacole] At III, v, 52, Dogberry refers to Francis Seacole as a capable scrivener. Shakespeare appears to have confused the two Christian names.

blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.

SEC. WATCH. Both which, master constable,

DOG. You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit 20 man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.

SEC. WATCH. How if a' will not stand?

DOG. Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.

VERG. If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince's subjects.

DOG. True, and they are to meddle with none but 30 the prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets; for for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.

WATCH. We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.

DOG. Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman; for I cannot see how sleeping should offend: only, have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well,

38 bills] halberds or spear-like shafts carried by constables.

you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.

WATCH. How if they will not?

DOG. Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.

WATCH. Well, sir.

DOG. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.

40

WATCH. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not 50 lay hands on him?

DOG. Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they that touch pitch will be defiled: the most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is, and steal out of your company. VERG. You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

DOG. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.

VERG. If you hear a child cry in the night, you must 60 call to the nurse and bid her still it.

WATCH. How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?

DOG. Why, then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats.

VERG. 'Tis very true.

DOG. This is the end of the charge: - you, constable, are to present the prince's own person: if you meet the prince in the night, you may stay him.

VERG. Nay, by 'r lady, that I think a' cannot.

DOG. Five shillings to one on 't, with any man that knows the statues, he may stay him: marry, not without the prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.

VERG. By 'r lady, I think it be so.

DOG. Ha, ah, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your fellows' counsels and your own; and good night. Come, neighbour.

WATCH. Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed.

DOG. One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night. Adieu: be vigitant, I beseech you.

[Exeunt Dogberry and Verges.

Enter BORACHIO and CONRADE

70

80

BORA. What, Conrade!

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00

WATCH. [Aside] Peace! stir not.

BORA. Conrade, I say!

own] part of the form of oath administered to the

CON. Here, man; I am at thy elbow.

BORA. Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a scab follow.

CON. I will owe thee an answer for that: and now forward with thy tale.

BORA. Stand thee close, then, under this pent-house, for it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.

WATCH. [Aside] Some treason, masters: yet stand close.

BORA. Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.

CON. Is it possible that any villany should be so dear? BORA. Thou shouldst rather ask, if it were possible any villany should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.

CON. I wonder at it.

BORA. That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.

CON. Yes, it is apparel.

BORA. I mean, the fashion.

CON. Yes, the fashion is the fashion.

BORA. Tush! I may as well say the fool's the fool. But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is? WATCH. [Aside] I know that Deformed; a' has been

93 scab] here punningly used in the sense of a low fellow. 104 villany... so rich] villany should be so richly rewarded. Many editors read villain for villany, but no change is essential.

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