Of these ladies, some, I hope, have lap-dogs, and some monkeys; but they are unsatisfactory companions. Many useful offices are performed by men of scarlet, to which neither dog nor monkey has adequate abilities. A parrot, indeed, is as fine as a colonel, and if he has been much used to good company, is not wholly without conversation; but a parrot, after all is a poor little creature, and has neither sword nor shoulder knot, can neither dance nor play at cards. Since the soldiers must obey the call of their duty, and go to that side of the kingdom which faces France, I know not why the ladies, who cannot live without them, should not follow them. The prejudices and pride of man have long presumed the sword and spindle made for different hands, and denied the other sex to partake the grandeur of military glory. This notion may be consistently enough received in France, where the salique law excludes females from the throne; but we, who allow them to be sovereigns, may surely suppose them capable to be soldiers. This formidable armament, and splendid march, produce different effects upon different minds, according to the boundless diversities or temper, occupation, and habits of thought. Many a tender maiden considers her lover as already lost, because he cannot reach the camp but by crossing the sea; men of a more It were to be wished that some men, whose political understanding are persuaded that we experience and authority might enforce regard, shall now see, in a few days, the ambassadors would propose that our encampments for the of France supplicating for pity. Some are present year should comprise an equal number hoping for a bloody battle, because a bloody of men and women who should march and battle makes a vendible narrative; some are fight in mingled bodies. If proper colonels composing songs of victory; some planning were once appointed, and the drums ordered to arches of triumph; and some are mixing fire-beat for female volunteers, our regiments would works for the celebration of a peace. soon be filled without the reproach or cruelty of an impress. eyes; and Of all extensive and complicated objects different parts are selected by different minds are variously affected, as they vary their attention. The care of the public is now fixed upon our soldiers, who are leaving their native country to wander, none can tell how long, in the pathless deserts of the Isle of Wight. The tender sigh for their sufferings, and the gay drink to their success. I who look, or believe myself to look, with most philosophic eyes on human affairs, must confess, that I saw the troops march with little emotion; my thoughts were fixed upon other scenes, and the tear stole into my eyes, not for those who were going away, but for those who were left behind. We have no reason to doubt but our troops will proceed with proper caution; there are men among them who can take care of themselves. But how shall the ladies endure without them? By what arts can they, who have long had no joy but from the civilities of a soldier, now amuse their hours, and solace their separation? Of these heroines some might serve on foot, under the denomination of the Female Buffs, and some on horseback, with the title of Lady Hussars. What objections can be made to this scheme I have endeavoured maturely to consider, and cannot find that a modern soldier has any duties except that of obedience, which a lady cannot perform. If the hair has lost its powder, a lady has a puff; if a coat be spotted, a lady has a brush. Strength is of less importance since fire-arms have been used; blows of the hand are now seldom exchanged; and what is there to be done in the charge or the retreat beyond the powers of a sprightly maiden? Our masculine squadrons will not suppose themselves disgraced by their auxiliaries, till they have done something which women could not have done. The troops of Braddock never saw their enemies, and perhaps were defeated by women. If our American general had headed an army of girls, he might still have built a fort and taken it. Had Minorca been defended by a female garrison, it might have been surrendered, as it was, without a breach; and I cannot but think, that seven thousand women might have ventured to look at Roch fort, sack a village, rob a vineyard, and return in safety. Of fifty thousand men, now destined to different stations, if we allow each to have been occasionally necessary only to four women, a short computation will inform us, that two hundred thousand ladies are left to languish in distress; two hundred thousand ladies, who must run to sales and auctions without an attendant; sit at the play without a critic to direct their opinion; buy their fans by their own No. 6.] judgment; dispose shells by their own invention; Walk in the Mall without a gallant; go to the gardens without a protector; and shuffle cards with vain impatience, for want of a fourth THE lady who had undertaken to ride on one to complete the party. horse a thousand miles in a thousand hours, has completed her journey in little more than two thirds of the time stipulated, and was conducted through the last mile with triumphal honours. Acclamation shouted before her, and all the flowers of the spring were scattered in her way. Every heart ought to rejoice when true merit is distinguished with public notice. I am far from wishing either to the Amazon or her horse any diminution of happiness or fame, and cannot but lament that they were not more amply and suitably rewarded. There once a time when wreaths of bays or oak were considered as recompenses equal to the most wearisome labours and terrific dangers, and when the miseries of long marches and stormy seas were at once driven from the remembrance by the fragrance of a garland. If this heroine had been born in ancient times, she might, perhaps, have been delighted with the simplicity of ancient gratitude; or, if any thing was wanting to full satisfaction, she might have supplied the deficiency with the hope of deification, and anticipated the altars that would be raised, and the vows that would be made, by future candidates for equestrian glory, to the patroness of the race, and the goddess of the stable. But fate reserved her for a more enlightened age, which has discovered leaves and flowers to be transitory things; which considers profit as the end of honour; and rates the event of every undertaking only by the money that is gained or lost. In these days, to strew the road with daises and lilies is to mock merit, and delude hope. The toyman will not give his jewels, nor the mercer measure out his silks for vegetable coin. A primrose, though picked up under the feet of the most renowned courser, will neither be received as a stake at cards, nor procure a seat at an opera, nor buy candles for a rout, nor lace for a livery. And though there are many virtuosos, whose sole ambition is to possess something which can be found in no other hand, yet some are more accustomed to store their cabinets by theft than purchase, and none of them would either steal or buy one of the flowers of gratulation till he knows that all the rest are totally destroyed. Little, therefore, did it avail this wonderful lady to be received, however joyfully, with such obsolete and barren ceremonies of praise. Had the way been covered with guineas, though but for the tenth part of the last mile, she would have considered her skill and diligence as not wholly lost; and might have rejoiced in the speed and perserverance which had left her such superfluity of time, that she could at leisure gather her reward without the danger of Atalanta's miscarriage. So much ground could not, indeed, have been paved with gold but at a large expense, and we are at present engaged in a war, which demands and enforces frugality. But common rules are made only for common life, and some deviation from general policy may be allowed in favour of a lady that rode a thousand miles in a thousand hours. Since the spirit of antiquity so much prevails amongst us, that even on this great occasion we have given flowers instead of money, let us at least complete our imitation of the ancients, and endeavour to transmit to posterity the memory of that virtue which we consider as superior to pecuniary recompense. Let an equestrian statue of this heroine be erected, near the startingpost on the heath of Newmarket, to fill kindred souls with emulation, and tell the grand-daughters of our grand-daughters what an English maiden has once performed. As events, however illustrious, are soon obscured if they are intrusted to tradition, I think it necessary that the pedestal should be inscribed with a concise account of this great performance. The composition of this narra tive ought not to be committed rashly to improper hands. If the rhetoricians of Newmarket, who may be supposed likely to conceive in its full strength the dignity of the subject, should undertake to express it, there is danger lest they admit some phrases which, though well understood at present, may be ambiguous in another century. If posterity should read on a public monument, that the lady carried her horse a thousand miles in a thousand hours, they may think that the statue and inscription are at variance, because one will represent the horse as carrying his lady, and the other tell that the lady carried her horse. Some doubts likewise may be raised by speculatists, and some controversies be agitated among historians, concerning the motive as well as the manner of the action. As it will be known that this wonder was performed in a time of war, some will suppose that the lady was frightened by invaders, and fled to preserve her life or her chastity: others will conjectnre that she was thus honoured for some intelligence carried of the enemy's designs: some will think that she brought news of a victory: others that she was commissioned to tell of a conspiracy: and some will congratulate themselves on their acuter penetration, and find, that all these notions of patriotism and public spirit are improbable and chimerical; they will confidently tell, that she only ran away from her guardians, and the true causes of her speed were, fear and love. Let it therefore be carefully mentioned, that by this performance she won her wager; and, lest this should, by any change of manners, seem an inadequateor incredible incitement, let it be added, that at this time the original motives of human actions had lost their influence; that the love of praise was extinct; the fear of infamy was become ridiculous; and the only wish of an Englishman was, to win his wager. No. 7.] SATURDAY, MAY 27, 1758. ONE of the principal amusements of the Id ler is, to read the works of those minute historians the writers of news, who, though contemptuously overlooked by the composers of bulky volumes, are yet necessary in a nation where much wealth produces much leisure, and one part of the people has nothing to do but to observe the lives and fortunes of the other. To us who are regaled every morning and ing authors might divide an event between evening with intelligence, and are supplied them; a single action, and that not of much from day to day with materials for conversa- importance, might be gradually discovered, so tion, it is difficult to conceive how man can sub-as to vary a whole week with joy, anxiety, and sist without a newspaper, or to what entertain-conjecture. ment companies can assemble in those wide regions of the earth that have neither Chronicles nor Magazines, neither Gazettes nor Advertisers, neither Journals nor Evening Posts. images; There are never great numbers in any nation, whose reason or invention can find employment for their tongues, who can raise a pleasing discourse from their own stock of sentiments and and those few who have qualified themselves by speculation for general disquisitions are soon left without an audience. The common talk of men must relate to facts in which the talkers have, or think they have an interest; and where such facts cannot be known, the pleasures of society will be merely sensual. Thus the natives of the Mahometan empires, who approach most nearly to European civility, have no higher pleasure at their convivial assembles than to hear a piper, or gaze upon a tumbler; and no company can keep together longer than they are diverted by sounds or shows. We know that a French ship of war was lately taken by a ship of England; but this event was suffered to burst upon us all at once, and then what we knew already was echoed from day to day, and from week to week. Let us suppose these spiders of literature to spin together, and inquire to what an extensive web such another event might be regularly drawn, and how six morning and six evening writers might agree to retail their articles. On Monday morning the captain of a ship might arrive, who left the Friseur of France, and the Bull-dog, captain Grim, in sight of one another, so that an engagement seemed unavoidable. Monday evening. A sound of cannon was heard off Cape Finisterre, supposed to be those of the Bull-dog and Friseur. Tuesday morning. It was this morning reported, that the Bull-dog engaged the Friseur, yard-arm and yard-arm, three glasses and á half, but was obliged to sheer off for want of powder. It is hoped that inquiry will be made into this affair in a proper place. All foreigners remark, that the knowledge of the common people of England is greater than that of any other vulgar. This superi- Tuesday evening. The account of the enority we undoubtedly owe to the rivulets of intel-gagement between the Bull-dog and Friseur ligence which are continually trickling among was premature. us, which every one may catch, and of which every one partakes. Wednesday morning. Another express is arrived, which brings news, that the Friseur This universal diffusion of instruction is, per- had lost all her masts, and three hundred of haps, not wholly without its inconveniences; her men, in the late engagement; and that capit certainly fills the nation with superficial dis-tain Grim is come into harbour much shattered. putants; enables those to talk who were born to work; and affords information sufficient to elate vanity, and stiffen obstinacy, but too little to enlarge the mind into complete skill for full comprehension. Whatever is found to gratify the public will be multiplied, by the emulation of venders, beyond necessity or use. This plenty, indeed, produces cheapnes, but cheapness always ends in negligence and depravation. Wednesday evening. We hear that the brave captain Grim, having expended his powder, proposed to enter the Friseur, sword in hand; but that his lieutenant, the nephew of a certain nobleman, remonstrated against it. Thursday morning. We wait impatiently for a full account of the late engagement between the Bull-dog and Friseur. Thursday evening. It is said the order of the Bath will be sent to captain Grim. The compilation of newspapers often com- Friday morning. A certain Lord of the Admitted to narrow and mercenary minds, not miralty has been heard to say of a certain capqualified for the task of delighting or instruct-tain, that if he had done his duty, a certain ing; who are content to fill their paper, with French ship might have been taken. It was whatever matter, without industry to gather, not thus that merit was rewarded in the days of or discernment to select. Cromwell. Thus journals are daily multiplied without increase of knowledge. The tale of the morning paper is told again in the evening, and the narratives of the evening are bought again in the morning. These repetitions, indeed, waste time, but they do not shorten it. The most eager peruser of news is tired before he has completed his labour; and many a man, who enters the coffee-house in his night-gown and slippers, is called away to his shop, or his dinner, before he has well considered the state of Europe. Friday evening. There is certain information at the Admiralty, that the Friseur is taken, after a resistance of two hours. Saturday morning. A letter from one of the gunners of the Bull-dog, mentions the taking of the Friseur, and attributes their success wholly to the bravery and resolution of captain Grim, who never owed any of his advancement to borough-jobbers, or any other corrupters of the people. Saturday evening. Captain Grim arrived at the Admiralty, with an account that he engagIt is discovered by Reaumur, that spiders ed the Friseur, a ship of equal force with his might make silk, if they could be persuaded to own, off Cape Finisterre, and took her, after live in peace together. The writers of news, an obstinate resistance, having killed one hun if they could be confederated, might give more dred and fifty of the French, with the loss of pleasure to the public. The morning and even-ninety-five of his own men. No. 8.] SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 1758. SIR, TO THE IDLER. In the time of public danger, it is every man's duty to withdraw his thoughts in some measure from his private interest, and employ part of his time for the general welfare. National conduct ought to be the result of national wisdom, a plan formed by mature consideration and diligent selection out of all the schemes which may be offered, and all the information which can be procured. In a battle, every man should fight as if he was the single champion; in preparations for war, every man should think, as if the last event depended on his counsel. None can tell what discoveries are within his reach, or how much he may contribute to the public safety. lon, or Paris itself, with all the usual preparation for defence: let the inclosure be filled with beef and ale; let the soldiers from some proper eminence, see shirts waving upon lines, and here and there a plump landlady hurrying about with pots in their hands. When they are sufficiently animated to advance, lead them in exact order, with fife and drum, to that side whence the wind blows, till they come within the scent of roast meat and tobacco.Contrive that they may approach the place fasting, about half an hour after dinner-time, assure them that there is no danger, and com mand an attack. If nobody within either moves or speaks, it is not unlikely that they may carry the place by storm; but if a panic should seize them, it will be proper to defer the enterprise to a more hungry hour. When they have entered, let them fill their bellies and return to the camp. Full of these considerations, I have carefully On the next day let the same place be shown reviewed the process of the war, and find, what them again, but with some additions of strength every other man has found, that we have or terror. I cannot pretend to inform our genhitherto added nothing to our military reputa-erals through what gradations of danger they tion: that at one time we have been beaten by enemies whom we did not see; and, at another, have avoided the sight of enemies lest we should be beaten. Whether our troops are defective in discipline or in courage, is not very useful to inquire; they evidently want something necessary to success; and he that shall supply that want will deserve well of his country. To learn of an enemy has always been accounted politic and honourable; and, therefore, I hope it will raise no prejudice against my project, to confess that I borrowed it from a Frenchman. should train their men to fortitude. They best know what the soldiers and what themselves can bear. It will be proper that the war should every day vary its appearance. Sometimes, as they mount the rampart, a cook may throw fat upon the fire, to accustom them to a sudden blaze; and sometimes by the clatter of empty pots, they may be inured to formidable noises. But let it never be forgotten, that victory must repose with a full belly. to strike. By this method our army will soon be brought to look an enemy in the face. But it has been lately observed, that fear is received by the ear as well as the eyes; and the Indian war-cry is represented as too dreadful to be endured; as a sound that will force the bravest veteran to drop his weapon, and desert his rank; that will deafen his ear and chill his breast; that will neither suffer him to hear orders or to feel shame, or retain any sensibility but the dread of death. In time it will be proper to bring our French prisoners from the coast, and place them upon the walls in martial order. At their first appearance their hands must be tied, but they When the Isle of Rhodes was, many centu- may be allowed to grin. In a month the may ries ago, in the hands of that military order, guard the place with their hands loosed, pronow called the Knights of Malta, it was rava-vided that on pain of death they be forbidden ged by a dragon, who inhabited a den under a rock, from which he issued forth when he was hungry or wanton, and without fear or mercy devoured men and beasts as they came in his way. Many councils were held, and many devices offered, for his destruction; but as his back was armed with impenetrable scales, none would venture to attack him. At last Dudon, a French knight, undertook the deliverance of the island. From some place of security he took a view of the dragon, or, as a modern soldier would say, reconnoitered him, and observed that his belly was naked and vul- That the savage clamours of naked barbanerable. He then returned home to take his rians should thus terrify troops disciplined to arrangements; and, by a very exact imitation war, and ranged in array with arms in their of nature, made a dragon of pasteboard, in the hands, is surely strange. But this is no time belly of which he put beef and mutton, and to reason. I am of opinion, that by a proper accustomed two sturdy mastiffs to feed them- mixture of asses, bulls, turkeys, geese, and selves by tearing their way to the concealed tragedians, a noise might be procured equally flesh. When his dogs were well practised in horrid with the war-cry. When our men have this method of plunder, he marched out with been encouraged by frequent victories, noth them at his heels, and showed them the dra-ing will remain but to qualify them for exgon, they rushed upon him in quest of their dinner; Dudon battered his skull, while they lacerated his belly; and neither his sting nor claws were able to defend him. Something like this might be practised in our present state. Let a fortification be raised on Salisbury-Plain, resembling Brest, or Tou treme danger, by a sudden concert of terrific vociferation. When they have endured this last trial, let them be led to action, as men who are no longer to be frightened; as men who can bear at once the grimaces of the Gauls, and the howl of the Americans. I have read you; that is a favour few authors can boast of having received from me besides yourself. My intention in telling you of it is to inform you, that you have both pleased and angered me. Never did writer appear so delightful to me as you did when you adopted the name of the Idler. But what a falling-off was there when your first production was brought to light! A natural, irresistible attachment to that favourite passion, idling, had led me to hope for indulgence from the Idler, but I find him a stranger to the title. What rules has he proposed totally to unbrace the slackened nerve; to shade the heavy eye of inattention; to give the smooth feature and the uncontracted muscle; or procure insensibility to the whole animal compo sition? These were some of the placid blessings I promised myself the enjoyment of, when I committed violence upon myself by mustering up all my strength to set about reading you; but I am disappointed in them all, and the stroke of eleven in the morning is still as terrible to me as before, and I find putting on my clothes still as painful and laborious. Oh that our climate would permit that original nakedness which the thrice happy Indians to this day enjoy! How many unsolicitous hours should I bask away, warmed in bed by the sun's glorious beams, could I, like them, tumble from thence in a moment, when necessity obliges me to endure the torment of getting upon my legs! But wherefore do I talk to you upon subjects of this delicate nature? you, who seem ignorant of the inexpressible charms of the elbowchair, attended with a soft stool for the elevation of the feet! Thus, vacant of thought, do I indulge the live-long day. You may define happiness as you please; I embrace that opinion which makes it consist in the absence of pain. To reflect is pain; to stir is pain; therefore I never reflect or stir but when I cannot help it. Perhaps you will call my scheme of life indolence, and therefore think the Idler excused from taking any notice of me but I have always looked upon indolence and idleness as the same; and so desire you will now and then, while you profess yourself of our fraternity, take some notice of me, and others in my situation, who think they have a right to your assistance; or relinquish the name. You may publish, burn, or destroy this, just as you are in the humour; it is ten to one but I forget that I wrote it before it reaches you. I believe you may find a motto for it in Horace, but I cannot reach him without getting out of my chair; that is a sufficient reason for my not affixing any. And being obliged to sit upright to ring the bell for my servant to convey this to the penny-post, if I slip the opportunity of his being now in the room, makes be break off abruptly THIS correspondent, whoever he be, is not to be dismissed without some tokens of regard. There is no mark more certain of a genuine Idler than uneasiness without molestation, and complaint without a grievance. Yet my gratitude to the contributor of half a paper shall not wholly overpower my sincer ity. I must inform you, that, with all his pretensions, he that calls for directions to be idle, is yet but in the rudiments of idleness, and has attained neither the practice nor theory of wasting life. The true nature of idleness he will know in time, by continuing to be idle. Virgil tells us of an impetuous and rapid being, that acquires strength by motion. The idler acquires weight by lying still. The vis inertia, the quality of resisting all external impulse, is hourly increasing; the restless and troublesome faculties of attention and distinction, reflection on the the past, and solitude for the future, by a long indulgence of idleness, will, like tapers in unelastic air, be gradually extinguished; and the officious lover, the vigilant soldier, the busy trader, may, by a judicious composure of his mind, sink into a state approaching to that of brute matter; in which he shall retain the consciousness of his own existence, only by an obtuse langour and drowsy discontent. This is the lowest stage to which the favourites of idleness can descend: these regions of undelighted quiet can be entered by few.Of those that are prepared to sink down into their shade, some are roused into action by avarice or ambition, some are awakened by the voice of fame, some allured by the smile of beauty, and many withheld by the importunities of want. Of all the enemies of idleness, want is the most formidable. Fame is soon found to be a sound, and love a dream; avarice and ambition may be justly suspected of privy confederacies with idleness; for when they have for a while protected their votaries, they often deliver them up to end their lives under her dominion. Want always struggles against idleness, but, Want her herself is often overcome; and every hour shows the careful observer those who had rather live in ease than in plenty. So wide is the region of Idleness, and so powerful her influence. But she does not immediately confer all her gifts. My correspondent, who seems, with all his errors, worthy of advice, must be told, that, he is calling too hastily for the last effusion of total insensibility. Whatever he may have been taught by unskilful Idlers to believe, labour is necessary in his initiation to idleness. He that never labours may know the pains of idleness, but not the pleasure. The comfort is, that if he devotes himself to insensibility, he will daily lengthen the intervals of idleness, and shorten those of labour, till at last he will lie down to rest, and no longer disturb the world or himself by bustle or competition. Thus I have endeavoured to give him that information which, perhaps, after all, he did not want: for a true Idler often calls for that which he knows is never to be had, and asks ques |