Agnosco natos: tumidas sine pondere voces Goddess ! thy sons I ken--verbose and loud, Drinks the dire draught, and of the doctor dies; Can charm and conjure up from death no more, Ante alios summa es, Polychasmia, cura So But more than aught that's marvellousand rare, phistæ: The studious Soph makes Polychasm' his care; Me tui cæcas vires, causamqne latentem Explores what secret spring, what hidden cause Sedulus exquirit-quo scilicet impete fauces Distends with hideous chasm'the unwilling jaws, Invitæ disjungantur; quo vortice aquosa What latent ducts the dewy moisture pour Particulæ fuitent, comitesque,ut fulminis imbres, With sound tremendous, like a thunder-show'r : Cum strepitu erumpant; ut deinde vaporet How subtle matier, exquisitely thrin, Materies subtilis; ut in cusin ininuet se [obellos. Pervades the curious net-work of the skin, Retia ; tum, si forte dator contingere nervos Affects th' accordant nerve-all eyes are drown'd Concordes, cunctorum ora expanduntur hiulca. In drowsy vapours, and the yawn goes rouud, Sic ubi, Phæbe pater, sumis chelyn, harmoni. When Phæbus thus his flying fingers Alings amque Across the chords, and sweeps the trembling Abstrusam in chordis simul elicis, altera, siquam If e'er a lyre at unison there be, (strings; Æqualis tenor aptarit, tremit æmula cantûs, It swells with emulating harmony, Memnoniamque imitata lyram sine pollicis ictu Like Memnon's harp, in ancient times renown'd, Divinum resonat proprio modulamine carmen. Breathing, untouch'd, sweet modulated sound. Me quoque, mene tuum tetigisti, ingrata, But ob! ungrateful to thy own true bard, Poetam? Oh! Polychasın', is this my just reward! Hei mihi! totus hio tibi jam stupefactus ; in ipso Thy drowsy dews upon my head distill, Parnasso captus longè longèque remotas Just at the entrance of th’ Aonian hill; No draughts nectareous to my portion fall, them all. Thus the lean Sizar views, with gaze agast, Hand aliter socium esuriens Sizator edacem Dum videt, appositusquecibus frustratur biantem, in vain he grinds his teeth—bis grudging eye The hungry tutor at his noon's repast; And visage sharp, keen appetite imply ; Oft he attempts, officious, to convey All, all is gorg'd in magisterial maw; Tum demum jubet auferri; nudata capaci Till at the last, observant of his word, The lamentable waiter clears the board, THE HORATIAN CANONS OF FRIENDSHIP. NAY!, 'tis the same with all th' affected crew But wou'd you crack their windpipes and their Of singing men and singing women too: lungs, Do they not set their catcalls up of course ? The certain way's to bid them hold their tongues, The king himself may ask them till he's hoarse; My lord mayor might have govern'd with a wink. Twas thus with Minum-Minum one wou'd think, 1 Omnibus hoc vitium est cantoribus, inter To ask a song, as kinsman or as friend, Yet did the magistrate e'er condescend amicos The urchin coin'd excuses to get off, Ut nunquam inducant animum cantare rogati : 'Twas—hem--the devil take this whoreson cough. Injussi nunquam desistant. Sardus habebat Ille Tigellius hoc. Cæsar, qui cogere posset, But wait awhile, and catch him in the glee, Si peteret per amicitiam patris atque suam, non He'd roar the Lion* in the lowest key, Quidquam proficerét: si collibuisset, ab ovo Or strain the Morning Lark + quite up to G. Usque ad mala iteraret, Io Bacche ! modo summa • The Lion's song, ip Pyramus and Thisbe, Voce, modo hac resonat quæ chordis quatuor + A song in one of Mr. Handel's Oratorios. ima. Act Beard, or Lowe, and show his tunefnl art This is a servile selfishness, a fault Blind as a poking, dirt-compelling mole, Spy'st with the quickness of an eagle's ken. Tho' strong resentment rarely lag behind, The wond'rous waggishness of modern wits; Sband; down; But h'as a soul ingenuous as his face, To yon a friend, and all the human race; Genius, that all the depths of learning sounds, And generosity, that knows no bounds. In fruits like these if the good youth excel, Sift then yourself, I say, and sift again, Glean the pernicious tares from out the grain, And ask thy heart, if custom, Nature's heir, While my pint-bottle, op'd by help of fork, Hath sown no undiscover'd fern-sced there; This be our standard then, on this we rest, 6 Let's be like lovers gloriously deceiv'd, E'en Celia's wart Strephon will not neglect, Night was his time for labour-in a word, But praises, kisses, lores the dear defect. Never was man so cleverly absurd. Oh! that in friendship we were thus to blame, * But here a friend of mine turns up his nose, And ermin'd candour, tender of our fame, " And you” (he cries) “are perfect, I suppose :” Wou'd clothe the honest errour with an honest "Perfect! not I (pray, gentle sir, forbear) In this good age, when vices are so rare, Be we then still to those we hold most dear, Fatherly fond, and tenderly severe. The sire, whose son squiots förty thousand ways, Finds in his features mighty rooin for praise: Grubworm was railing at his friend Tom Queer, “Ah! born” (he cries) “to make the ladies sigh, When Witwoud thus reproach'd him with a sneer, Jacky, thou hast an amorous cast o'th' eye.'; "Have you uo flaws, who are so prone to snub?”. "I bare-but I forgive myself," quoth Grub. s (racundior est paullo , minus aptus acutis Naribus horum hominum? rideri possit, eo quod * Nil æquale homini fuit illi: sæpe velut qui Rusticius tonso toga defuit, and male laxus Currebat fugiens hostem: persæpe velut qui In pedo calceus hæret. At est bonus, ut melior Junonis sacra ferrel. Habebat sæpe ducentos, vir [ingens Sæpe decem servos: modo reges, atque tetrar Non alius quisquam: at tibi amicus: at ingenium chas. Inculto latet hoc sub corpore. Denique teipsuin • Omnia magna loquens. Modo, Sit mihi Concute, num qua tibi vitiorum inseverit olim mensa tripes, & Natura, aut etiam consuetudo mala. Namque hæc Delectant : veluti Balbinum polypus Hagnæ : At, pater ut nati, sie noc debemus amici, . Strabonem Quidam ait. ignoras te an ut ignotum dare Appellat pætun pater : & pulluin, male parvus nobis Si cui filius est : ut abortivus fuit olim Parcius hic vivit ? frugì dicatur. lpeptus, Postulat ut videatur, At est turculentior, atque Plus æquo liber? simples, fortisque halı atur, tibi contra Caldior est ? acres inter puueretur. Opinor, Evenit, inquirant vitia ut tua rursus & illi. Hæc res Si junyit, junctus & serval amicos. name! notari. Another child's abortive--he believes Tenact such laws as must themselves condemn? Nature most perfect in diminutives; In every human soul some vices spring And men of ev'ry rank with one accord (For fair perfection is no mortal thing) Salute each crooked rascal with my lord. Whoe'er is with the fewest faults endu'd, (For bandy legs, hump-back, and knocking knee, Is but the best of what cannot be good. Are all excessive signs of q -ty.) Then view me, friend, in an impartial light, Thus let us judge our friends—if Scrub subsist Survey the good and bad, the black and white; Too meanly, Scrub is an economist; And if you find me, sir, upon the whole, And if Tom Tinkle is full loud and pert, To be an honest and ingenuous soul, He aims at wit, and does it to divert. By the same rule I'll measure you again, Largus is apt to bluster, but you'll find And give you your allowance to a grain. "T'is owing to his magnitude of mind : 'Tis friendly and 'tis fair, on either hand, Lollius is passionate, and loves a whore, To grant th’ indulgence we ourselves demande You must excuse all those who are awry. Whoe'er offends, our censure let us guide, With a strong bias to the candid side; Rank little foibles with enorinous crimes. You'd be (methink) as infamous an oaf, In folly and iniquity is he, Wło, for some trivial, social, well-meant joke, Who drags up all his visitors by force, do If sick at heart, and heavy at the head, And in the morn, with affluent discharge, Should sign and seal his residence at large; Si modo plura mihi bona sunt, inclinet; amari Si volet hac lege, in trutina ponetur eadem. With more familiar nonsense of a friend; Qui ne tuberibus propriis offendat amicum Talk of my friendship, and of thy desert, Postulat; ignoscat verrucis illius. Æquum et, Show thee my works, and candidly impart Peccatis veniam poscentem reddere rursus. At once the product of my head and heart, Denique, quatenus excidi penitus vitium iræ, Nasutus calls me fool, and clownish bear, Cætera item nequeunt stultis hærentia; cur non Nor (but for perfect candour) stops he there. Ponderibus, modulisque suis ratio utitir? ac res : Ah! what unthinking, heedless things are Ut quæque est, ita suppliciis delicta coercet? men, 9 Si quis eum servum, patinam qui tollere jussus, Majus peccatum est à paullum reliquit amicus, catini * An infamous attorney. Cum mea compenset vitiis bona, pluribus hisce, amaras AN OCCASIONAL not be cood impartial lighting le black and stay n the whole, lis soul, ? you again , IN THE WHILE Had many a . ous an caf, coundrel all can be) , well-meaning as soon as poker ctful and as behind, by force, m his discourte at the head, el betimes to be done mt disebarge, ence at large; Or should be in some passionate debate, 1s With zeal I'll love, be courteous e'en to strife, PROLOGUE AND EPILOGUE TO OTHELLO, AS IT WAS ACTED AT THE THEATRE"Suppose him perjur'd faithless, pimp, or thief?" ROYAL DRURY-LANE, ON THURSDAY Away-a foolish koavish tribe you are, 7TH OF MARCH, 1751, BY PERSONS OP DISWho falsely put all vices on a par TINCTION, FOR THEIR DIVERSION. Ile mercenary actors tread the stage, [wronghtShe gives, and she demands the self-applause: bays, And cropt the flowers from every blooming art, Our noblest youths would then embrace the task Hiatus magnus lacrymabilis Of comic humour, or the mystic masque. 'Twas theirs t'encotirage worth,and give to bards set the world in arms. What now is spent in boxing and in cards: Good sense their pleasure-firtue still their guide, On yon high cloud behold the bard advance, The Passions, waiting for his dread command. Then Hope with heavenward look, and Joy draws near, While palsied Terrour trembles in the rear. Such Shakespeare's train of horroir and de. repugnant And such we hope to introduce to-night. (light, But if, though just in thought, we fail in fact, When truth's in view 'tis glorious e'en to err. EPILOGUE. SPOXEN BY DESDEMONA. belli I come to speak in spite of suffocation; To show the present and the age to come, We may be chok'd, but never can be dumb. And haste away to lady Bragwell's rout; Each modish sentiment to hear and weigh, Of those who nothing think, and all things say. 12 Inque vicem illorum patiar delicta libenter, Privatusque magis vivam te rege beatus. inclinet ; ama onetur eadem dat amicum Tius, Equum et ddere rursus tus vitium itt, prentia; ca 12 atio utitirim elicta coercet? tinam qui bilet burton. ney. Prodella first in parody begins, She has a danghter too that deals in lace, (For nonsense and buffoonery are twins) And sings–O ponder well—and Chevy Chase, «c Can beaux the court for theatres exchange? And fain wou'd fill the fair Ophelia's place. I swear by Heaven 'tis strange, 'tis passing And in her cock'd up hat, and gown of camblet, strange; Presumes on something-touching the lord And very whimsical, and mighty dull, Hamlet. And pitiful, and wond'rous pitiful: A cousin too she has with squinting eyes, I wish I had not heard it”- blessed dame! With waddling gait,and voice like London Cries; Whene'er she speaks her audience wish the same. Who for the stage too short by half a story, Next Neddy Nicely—"Fye, O fye, good lack, Acts Lady Townly--thus-in all her glory. A nasty man to make his face all black.” And while she's traversing her scanty room, Then lady Stiffneck shows her pious rage, Cries—" Lord! my lord, what can I do at home! And wonders ile shou'd act-upon a stage. In short, we've girls enough for all the fellows, “Why, ma'am,” says Coquetilla, “ a disgrace? The ranting, whining, starting, and the jealous, Merit in any form may show her face: The Hotspurs, Romeos, Hamlets, and Othellos. In this doll age the male things ought to play, Oh! little do these silly people know, To teach then what to do, and what to say." What dreadful trials-actors undergo. In short, they all with diff'rent cavils cram us, Myself—who most in harmony delight, And only are unanimous to damn ús: Am scolding here from morning until night. But still there are a fair judicious few, Then take advice froin ine, ye giddy things, Who judge unbiass'd, and with candour view; Ye royal milliners, ye apron'd kings; Who value honesty, though clad in buff, Young men beware, and shun our slippery ways, And wit, though dress'd in an old English ruff. Study arithmetic, and shun our plays; Behold them here I beaming sense descry, And you, ye girls, let not our tinsel train Shot from the living lustre of each eye. Enchant your eyes, and turn your madd’ning Such meaning smiles each blooming face adorn, brain; EPILOGUE THE PLAY OF THE CONSCIOUS LOVERS, ACTED FOR "Tis our ambition, and our fame to please. LYING-IN WOMEN, 1755, IN THE CHARACTER OF (Enters with a child. ) EPILOGUE TO THE APPRENTICE. WHOB'ER 'Er begot thee, has no cause to blush : (Enters reading a Play Bill.) Thou’rt a brave chopping boy, (child cries) nay, hush! hush ! hush! A VERY pretty bill-as I'm alive! A workman, faith! a man of rare discretion, The part of-nobody-by Mrs. Clive! A friend to Britain, and to our profession: A paltry scribbling fool to leave me out With face so chubby, and with looks so glad, He'll say, perhaps—be thought I cou'd not spout. O rare roast beef of England-here's a lad! Malice and envy to the last degree! (Shows him to the Company.) And why? I wrote a farce as well as he, (Child makes a noise again. ) And fairly ventur'd it-without the aid Nay if you once begin to puke and cough, Of prologue dress'd in black, and face in mas Go to the nurse. Within !--here take him off. querade ; Well, Heav'n be prajs’d, it is a peopling age, Ob! Pit-have pity—see how I'm dismay'd ! Thanks to the bar, the pulpit, and the stage ; Poor soul! this canting stuff will never do. But not to th' army-that's not worth a farthing, Unless like Bayes he bring his hangman too. The captains go too much to Corent Garden, But granting that from these same obsequies, Spoil many a girl, --but seldom make a mother, Some pickings to our bard in black arise; They foil us one way—but we have them t'other. Should your applause to joy convert his fear, (Shakes a bor of pills.) As Pallas turns to feast--Lardella's bier ; The nation prospers by such joyous souls, Yet 'twould have been a better scheme by half Hence smokes my table, bence my chariot rolls. T" have thrown his weeds aside, and learnt with Tho' some snug jobs, from surgery may spring, me to laugh. Man-vidwifry, nian-midwifry's the thing ! I cou'd have shown him, had he been inclin'd, Lean shou'd I be, e'en as my own anatomy, A spouting junto of the female kind. By mere cathartics and by plain phlebotomy. There dwells a milliner in yonder row, Well, besides gain, besides the pow'r to please, Well dress’d, full voic'd, and nobly built for show, Besides the music of such birds as these, Who, when in rage she scolds at Sue and Sarah, (Skakes a purse. Damn’d,damn'd dissembler l.thinks she's more It is a joy refin’d, unmix'd and pure, than Zara. To hear the praises of the grateful poor. THE BENEFIT OF THE MIDDLESEX HOSPITAL FOR |