Clo. Master Malvolio! Mal. Ay, good fool. Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas. Marry, amen. - I will, sir, I will. Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say, Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent 3 for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand I am: Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'ythee, be gone. Clo. I am gone, sir, And anon, sir, Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; This pearl she gave me, I do feel't and see't: And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then? I could not find him at the Elephant : Yet there he was; and there I found this credit 5, That he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service: For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me To any other trust, but that I am mad, Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, She could not sway her house, command her followers, Take, and give back, affairs and their despatch, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't, That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. Enter OLIVIA and a Priest. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you mean well, Now go with me, and with this holy man, According to my birth. What do you say? That they may fairly note this act of mine! And [Exeunt. Clo. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my good fellow? Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. No, sir, the worse. Duke. How can that be? Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me ; Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate, Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither: That most ingrateful boy there, by your side, From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was: His life I gave him, and did thereto add My love, without retention, or restraint, All his in dedication: for his sake, Did I expose myself, pure for his love, Into the danger of this adverse town; Drew to defend him, when he was beset; Where being apprehended, his false cunning, (Not meaning to partake with me in danger,) Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance, And grew a twenty-years-removed thing, Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you While one would wink; denied me mine own purse, to be one of my friends. Which I had recommended to his use Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's Not half an hour before. Vio. How can this be? Duke. When came he to this town? Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months before, Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why, this is excellent. gold. Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer; there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind: One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. [Exit Clown. Enter ANTONIO and Officers. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me. Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd A bawbling vessel was he captain of, That took the Phoenix, and her fraught 7 from And this is he, that did the Tiger board, Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my side; Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are madness. Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable? Duke. Gracious Olivia, Oli. What do you say, Cesario? lord, Good my Duke. What! to perverseness? uncivil lady, Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it, I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, [Going. Vio. And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly, To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. Oli. Where goes Cesario? Vio. [Following. After him I love, Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd! Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself! Is it so long! Call forth the holy father. [Erit an Attendant. Come away. [TO VIOLA. - Cesario, husband, stay. Duke. Oli. Whither, my lord? Ay, husband; Can he that deny? Duke. Her husband, sirrah? Vio. No, my lord, not I. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety: Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art As great as that thou fear'st. O, welcome, father: Re-enter Attendant and Priest. Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Here to unfold (though lately we intended To keep in darkness, what occasion now Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know Hath newly past between this youth and me. Priest. A contract of eternal bond of love, Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands, Attested by the holy close of lips, Strengthen'd by interchangement of your rings; And all the ceremony of this compact Seal'd in my function, by my testimony: Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my grave, I have travell'd but two hours. Duke. O, thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be, When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case? Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow, That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow? Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet, Where thou and I henceforth may never meet. Vio. My lord, I do protest, Oli. O, do not swear; Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear. Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, with his head broke. Sir And. For the love of heaven, a surgeon; send one presently to sir Toby. Oli. What's the matter? Sir And. He has broke my head across, and has given sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of heaven, your help: I had rather than forty pound, I were at home. Oli. Who has done this, sir Andrew? Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the Clown. Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates 9 than he did. Duke. How now, gentleman? how is't with you? Sir To. That's all one; he has hurt me, and there's the end on't. - Sot, did'st see Dick surgeon, sot? Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes were set at eight i'the morning. Sir To. Then he's a rogue, and a passy-measures pavin1; I hate a drunken rogue. Oli. Away with him: Who hath made this havock with them?" Sir And. I'll help you, sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together. Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a gull? Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to. [Exeunt Clown, Sir TOBY, and Sir ANDREW. Enter SEBASTIAN. Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kins man; But had it been the brother of my blood, Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons; A natural perspective, that is, and is not. Ant. Sebastian are you? Seb. Fear'st thou that, Antonio? Ant. How have you made division of yourself?— An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian? Oli. Most wonderful! Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother: If spirits can assume both form and suit, Seb. Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth Had number'd thirteen years. Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul! 9 Otherways. 1 Serious dances. Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help My lord, so please you, these things further thought I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook : [TO OLIVIA. But nature to her bias drew in that. [TO VIOLA. Thou never should'st love woman like to me. Duke. hither: And yet, alas, now I remember me, Re-enter Clown, with a Letter. A most extracting frenzy of mine own Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do: he has here writ a letter to you; I should have given it to you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they are delivered. Oli. Open it, and read it. Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman: Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vor. Oli. Pr'ythee, read i'thy right wits. you, Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend 3, my princess, and give ear. Oli. Read it sirrah. [TO FABIAN. Fab. [Reads.] By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or 3 Attend. ? Voice. Notorious wrong. Ay, my lord, the same: Madam, you have done me wrong, Oli. Have I Malvolio? no. Mal. Lady, you have. Pray you peruse that letter: You must not now deny it is your hand, Write from it, if you can, in hand, or phrase; Or say, 'tis not your seal, nor your invention: You can say none of this: Well, grant it then, And tell me, in the modesty of honour, Why you have given me such clear lights of favour; Bade me come smiling, and cross-garter'd to you, To put on yellow stockings, and to frown Upon sir Toby, and the lighter people: And, acting this in an obedient hope, Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd, Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest, And made the most notorious geck, and gull, That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why. Though I confess much like the character: Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing, But out of question, 'tis Maria's hand. And now I do bethink me, it was she First told me, thou wast mad; then cam'st in smiling, Fab. And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come, May rather pluck on laughter than revenge; Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled thee! Clo. Why, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them. was one, sir, in this interlude; one sir Topas, sir; but that's all one: - By the Lord, fool, I am not mad; But do you remember? Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal? an you smile not, he's gagg'd: And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges. Mal. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you. [Exit. Oli. He hath been most notoriously abus'd. Of our dear souls - Mean time, sweet sister, 7 Shall serve. For so you shall be, while you are a man: Clo. When that I was and a little tiny boy, But when I come to man's estate, But when I came, alas! to wive, With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, [Exit. |