The Squire concurr'd t' abandon him,
And ferve him in the felf-fame trim;
T'acquaint the Lady what he 'ad done,
And what he meant to carry on;
What project 'twas he went about,

When Sidrophel and he fell out;
His firm and itedfaft resolution,

to fwear her to an execution;

To pawn his inward ears to marry her,

And bribe the devil himself to carry her; a which both dealt, as if they meant Their party-faints to represent, Who never fail'd, upon their fharing any profperous arms-bearing,

o lay themselves out to fupplant

at ere the Knight could do his part,

ach other coufin-german faint.

The Squire had got fo much the start, le'ad to the Lady done his errand,

nd told her all his tricks aforehand,

aft as he finith'd his report,

he Knight alighted in the court, nd, having ty'd his beast t' a pale, nd taking time for both to stale, put his band and beard in order, he fprucer to accoft and board her: nd now began t'approach the door, Then the, wh' had ipy'd him out before, onvey'd th' informer out of fight, nd went to entertain the Knight; ith whom encountering, after longees f humble and fubmiffive congees, nd ail due ceremonies paid, eftroak'd his beard, and thus he faid; Madam, I do, as is my duty, onour the shadow of your shoe-tye; nd now am come to bring your ear prefent you 'll be glad to hear;

t leaft I hope fo: the thing 's done,

r may

I never see the fun;

or which I humbly now demand trformance at your gentle hand;

nd that you'd pleafe to do your part, I have done mine, to my smart. With that he shrugg'd his sturdy back, s if he felt his fhoulders ake: Ethe, who well enough knew what Before he spoke) he would be at, retended not to apprehend he mystery of what he mean'd; nd therefore with'd him to expound his dark expreffions lefs profound. Madam, quoth he, I come to prove low much I've fuffer'd for your love, Which (like your votary) to win, have not fpar'd my tatter'd skin; And, for thofe meritorious lathes, To claim your favour and good graces. Quoth the, I do remember once freed you from th' inchanted iconce, And that you promis'd, for that favour, To bind your back to 'ts good behaviour, And for my fake and fervice vow'd To lay upon 't a heavy load,

130

And what 'twould bear t' a fcruple prove, As other Knights do oft make love; Which whether you have done or no Concerns yourfe f, not me, to know; But if you have, I fhall confefs Y' are honester than I could guess. Quoth he, If you fufpect my troth, I cannot prove it but by oath; And if you make a question on 't, I'll pawn my foul that I have done 't And he that makes his foul his furety, 140 I think, does give the best security.

135

145

Quoth fhe, So e fay the foul 's fecure Againft diftrefs and forfeiture; Is free from action, and exempt From execution and contempt; And to be fummon'd to appear In th' other world 's illegal here,

And therefore few make any account Int' what incumbrances they run 't: For moit men carry things fo even

150

Between this world, and hell, and heaven, Without the leaft offence to either,

The freely deal in all together,

Thou 'aft broke perfidioufly thy oath, And not perform'd thy plighted troth, But fpar'd thy renegado back,

Make lechers, and their punks, with dewtry,
Commit fantaftical advowtry;
Bewitch Hermetic-men to run

Which now the Fates have order'd me,
For penance and revenge, to flea,
Unless thou pretently make hafte;
Time is, time was: and there it ceaft.
With which, though ftartled, I confefs,
Yet th' horror of the thing was lefs
Than th' other difmal apprehenfion
Of interruption or prevention;
And therefore, fnatching up the rod,
I laid upon my back a load,
Refolv'd to fpare no ficth and blood,
To make my word and honour good;
Till tir'd, and taking truce at length,
For new recruits of breath and strength,
I felt the blows ftill ply'd as fast,
As if they 'ad been by lovers plac'd,
In raptures of Platonic lashing,
And charte contemplative bardashing ;
When, facing haitily about,

To stand upon my guard and scout,
I found th' infernal cunning-man,
And th' under-witch, his Caliban,
With fcourges (like the Furies) arm'd,
That on my outward quarters ftorm'd.
In hafte I fhatch'd my weapon up,
And gave their hellish rage a stop;
Call'd thrice upon your name, and fell
Courageously on Sidrophel,

Who now, transform'd himself t' a bear,
Began to roar aloud and tear;
When I as furiously prefs'd on,
My weapon down his throat to run,
Laid hold of him, but he broke loofe,
And turn'd himfelf into a goofe,
Div'd under water in a pond,
To hide himself from being found.
In vain I fought him; but as foon
As I perceiv'd him fled and gone,
Prepar'd, with equal hafte and rage,
His under-forcerer to engage;
But, bravely fcorning to defile
My fword with feeble blood, and vile,
I judg'd it better from a quick-
fet hedge to cut a knotted flick,
With which I furiously laid on,
Till in a harsh and doleful tone
It roar'd, O hold, for pity, Sir;
I am too great a fufferer,

265

270

275

And keep me in continual fears,
And danger of my neck and ears;
When lefs delinquents have been scourg'd,
And hemp on wooden anvils forg'd,
Which others for cravats have worn
About their necks, and took a turn.
I pity'd the fad punishment

280 The wretched caitiff underwent,
And held my drubbing of his bones
Too great an honour for pultrones;
For knights are bound to feel no blows
From paltry and unequal foes,

285 Who, when they flash, and cut to pieces,
Do all with civileft addreffes :
Their horfes never give a blow,

290

But when they make a leg and bow.
I therefore fpar'd his fiefh, and preft him
About the witch with many a question.

Quoth he, For many years he drove
A kind of broking-trade in love,
Employ'd in all th' intrigues and truft
Of feeble fpeculative luft;

295 Procurer to th' extravagancy
And crazy ribaldry of fancy,
By thofe the devil had forfook,
As things below him, to provoke;
But being a virtuofo, able

300 To fmatter, quack, and cant, and dabble, He held his talent most adroit,

For any myftical exploit,

As others of his tribe had done,

Abus'd, as you have been, b' a witch,

For those that do his business best,

But conjur'd int' a worfe caprich,

Who fends me out on many a jaunt,

Old houses in the night to haunt,

Could get a grant, but in reversion,

For opportunities t' improve

He ferv'd two 'prenticeships, and longer,

Defigns of thievery or love;

I' th' mystery of a lady-monger:

With drugs convey'd in drink or meat,
All feats of witches counterfeit,
Kill pigs and geefe with powder'd glass,
And make it for inchantment pafs;
With cow-itch meazle like a leper,

And choke with funies of Guincy pepper;

Becomes a puiney imp itself,

And is another witch's elf:

He, after searching far and near, 320 At length found one-in Lancashire,

315

For (as fome write) a witch's ghost,

As foon as from the body looft,

Or Pharaoh's wizards, could their switches;
And all with whom he 'as had to do,
Turn'd to as monftrous figures too;
Witnefs myfelf, whom he 'as abus'd,
And to this beaftly shape reduc'd,
By feeding me on beans and pease
He crams in nafty crevices,

And turns to comfits by his arts,
To make me relish for deferts,

And one by one, with fhame and fear,
Lick up the candy'd provender.
Befide-But as h' was running on,
To tell what other feats he 'ad done,
The Lady ftopt his full career,

And told him now 'twas time to hear.
If half those things (said she) be true,
(They're all, quoth he, I fwear by you):

Why then, faid the, that Sidrophel,

Has damn'd himself to th' pit of hell,

Who, mounted on a broom, the nag
And hackney of a Lapland hag,
In queft of you came hither poft,
Within an hour (I'm sure) at most,
Who told me all you fwear and say,

And did not doubt to bring the wretches,

To ferve for pendulums to watches,

450

Since which he 'as play'd a thousand feats, And practis'd all mechanic cheats; Transform'd himself to th' ugly shapes

Which, modern virtuofi fay,

Incline to hanging every way.

Befide, he fwore, and fwore 'twas true,

Of wolves, and bears, baboons, and apes, Which he has vary'd more than witches,

390

That, ere he went in queft of you,

He fet a figure to discover

455

If you were fled to Rye or Dover,

And found it clear that, to betray

Yourselves and me, you fled this way, And that he was upon purfuit,

To take you fomewhere hereabout.

460

He vow'd he had intelligence

Of all that pafs'd before and fince, And found that, ere you came to him,

465

And prov'd that you might fwear and own Whatever's by the Wicked done;

470

For which moft bafely to requite

The service of his gifts and light,

You ftrove t'oblige him, by mean force,

To fcourge his ribs inttead of your's, But that he stood upon his guard,

475

And all your vapouring outdar'd;

For which, between you both, the feat Has never been perform'd as yet.

While thus the Lady talk'd, the Knight Turn'd th' outfide of his eyes to white (As men of inward light are wont To turn their optics in upon 't); He wonder'd how the came to know What he had done, and meant to do; Held up his affidavit-hand,

480

485

But he difdaining to embrace

So filthy a defign and bafe,

You fell to vapouring and huffing,

And drew upon him like a ruffian;

As if he 'ad been to be arraign'd; Caft towards the door a ghaftly look, In dread of Sidrophel, and fpoke: Madam, if but one word be true Of all the wizard has told you,

Surpriz'd him meanly, unprepar'd, Before he had time to mount his guard, And left him dead upon the ground, With many a bruife and defperate wound; Swore you had broke and robb'd his house, And ftole his talifmanique loufe, And all his new-found old inventions, With flat felonious intentions, Which he could bring out where he had, And what he bought them for, and paid: His flea, his morpion, and punese, He 'ad gotten for his proper eafe, And all in perfect minutes made, By th' ableft artist of the trade; Which (he could prove it) fince he lost, He has been eaten up almoft, And altogether might amount To many hundreds on account; For which he 'ad got fufficient warrant To feize the malefactors errant, Without capacity of bail, But of a cart's or horfe's tail;

490

Or but one fingle circumftance

In all th' apocryphal romance,

May dreadful earthquakes fwallow down This veffel, that is all your own!

Or may the heavens fall, and cover

495

Thefe reliques of your conftant lover!

435

You have provided well (quoth the)
(I thank you) for yourself and me,
And fhewn your Prefbyterian wits
Jump punctual with the Jefuits;
A most compendious way, and civil,
At once to cheat the world, the devil,
And heaven and hell, yourfelves, and those
440 On whom you vainly think t' impose.

Why then (quoth he) may hell furprize.
That trick (faid fhe) will not país twice:
I've learn'd how far I'm to believe
Your pinning oaths upon your sleeve;

500

505

Enough to ferve for fatisfaction
Of niceft fcruples in the action;
And if you can produce those knobs,
Although they're but the witch's drubs,
I'll pafs them all upon account,
As if your natural felf had don't;
Provided that they país th' opinion
Of able juries of old women,

Who, us'd to judge all matter of facts
For bellies, may do fo for backs.

Madam (quoth he) your love 's a million, To do is less than to be willing,

As I am, were it in my power,

T'obey what you command, and more;
But for performing what you bid,
I thank you as much as if I did.
You know I ought to have a care,

There is no heaven in marriages;

Two things that naturally prefs
Too narrowly, to be at eafe;
Their bufinefs there is only love,
Which marriage is not like t' improve;
Love, that's too generous t' abide
To be against its nature ty'd;
For, where 'tis of itself inclin'd,
It breaks loose when it is confin'd,
And like the foul, its harbourer,
Debarr'd the freedom of the air,
Difdains against its will to stay,
But struggles out, and flies away;
And therefore never can comply
T'endure the matrimonial tye,
That binds the female and the male,
Where th' one is but the other's bail;
Like Roman gaolers, when they flept,
Chained to the prifoners they kept,
Of which the true and faithfulleft lover
Gives beft fecurity to fuffer.
Marriage is but a beaft, fome fay,
That carries double in foul way,
And therefore 'tis not to b' admir'd
It should fo fuddenly be tir'd;
A bargain, at a venture made,
Between two partners in a trade;

515

That, as it makes but one of two, Reduces all things elfe as low, And at the best is but a mart Between the one and th' other part, That on the marriage -day is paid, Or hour of death, he bet is laid; And all the rest of better or worse, 520 Both are but lofers out of purse: For when upon their ungot heirs They' entail themfelves, and all that's theirs, What blinder bargain e'er was driven, Or wager laid at fix and feven? To país themselves away, and turn Their children's tenants ere they're born? 59 Beg one another idiot

525

530

535

To guardians, ere they are begot;
Or ever fhall, perhaps, by th' one,

Who is bound to vouch them for his own,
Though got b' implicit generation,
And general club of all the nation;
For which the 's fortify'd no less
Than all the island, with four feas;
Exacts the tribute of her dower,
In ready infolence and power,
And makes him pafs away, to have
And hold, to her, himself, her flave,
More wretched than an ancient villain,
540 Condemn'd to drudgery and tilling;
While all he does upon the by,
She is not bound to justify,
Nor at her proper coft and charge
Maintain the feats he does at large.
Such hideous fots were thofe obedient
Old vaffals to their ladies regent,
To give the cheats the eldeft hand

545

550

In foul play by the laws o' th' land.
For which fo many a legal cuckold

Has been run down in courts, and truckeľ'ds
A law that most unjustly yokes
All Johns of Stiles to Joans of Noakes,
Without distinction of degree,
Condition, age, or quality;

555 Admits no power of revocation,
Nor valuable confideration,

Nor writ of Error, nor reverse

Of judgment paft, for better or worse;
Will not allow the privileges

560 That beggars challenge under hedges,
Who, when they 're griev'd, can make dead hor
Their fpiritual judges of divorces,
While nothing else but rem in re
Can fet the proudeft wretches free;
565 A flavery beyond enduring,

570

But that'tis of their own procuring.
As fpiders never feek the fly,
But leave him, of himself, t' apply;
So men are by themselves employ'd,
To quit the freedom they enjoy'd,
And run their necks into a noose,
They'd break them after to break loose.
As fome whom death would not depart,
Have done the feat themfelves by art:
Like Indian widows, gone to bed,
In flaming curtains, to the dead;