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appointed at the Chicago meeting to look after this little matter. In lieu of my inability to reproduce the masterful and memorable oratorical effort, I will say it is to be hoped that the same will appear in the forthcoming volume of transactions, and, while it would not accentuate the importance of the same in any sense, I would suggest to Secretary Kraft that this particular part of the proceedings be printed in red ink along with the names of Copeland and McClelland.
GENEROSITY IN THE RAW STATE.-At the last meeting of the Colorado Homeopathic State Society, seventyfive dollars of the association money was transferred to the treasury of the Park Avenue, nee Denver Homeopathic, Hospital, an institution claiming no homeopathis affiliation whatever, if one is to judge by the fact that it eliminated this distinctive title from its name some time ago. There is just one institution in the state at the present time which has the decency to declare its loyalty to the homeopathic faith, if no more extensively that in name, and that is the college—why not it for the money? Even at the American Institute exhibit, according to mention in Medical Century, the hospital was not brought forward as an adjunct to the college. But then if the members like that sort of thing I suppose that is the sort of thing they like, and as none of my money, so far as I know, was involved in the transfer, suppose I should refrain from any unpleasant remarks.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE THE “OTIIER FELLOW?”—I wonder why it is that so many persons are encouraged in their mania for securing something at somebody's else expense? During the past year there have been a great many queer things reach the editorial and manager's office, but I can't recall any other one which has a greater claim to uniqueness than the following decidedly peculiar “business proposition:' A. P. Tone Wilson, Jr., Lawyer, 413 Kansas Avenue, Topeka, Kans.
October 2, 1906. The Critique, Denver, Colorado.
Gentlemen :-I am now in a position to hand you some business for your paper providing that you will accept the following proposition at once.
I would want two 20 inch ads in your paper every issue for ten weeks:
One of these ads would be for myself and the other one would be a real estate ad for another firm. Now what I want you to do is this: Double the rate of the other fellow's twenty inch ad. and run my twenty inch ad free for ten weeks.
You can prepare the contracts and have them sent to me for his
signature, or let me know how much the ad. will amount to and I will prepare the contracts and have them signed and sent to you.
Now this is the only ondition under which I will run the ads and I must know at once if you wish to handle the business, as the party only intends to run this ad in about 100 papers and I will soon have the 100 contracts filled for him.
Awaiting your immediate reply, together with the contracts and prices, I beg to remain, Yours very truly,
A. P. TONE WILSON, JR. Accompanying the foregoing was the following, which, to say the least, does not lack in directness : TO OUR PATRONS:
We believe that a person who can pay and won't pay, should be made to pay, for he belongs to the “deadbeat" class and the people should be protected against him.
It is only fair to assume that, in most instances, accounts placed in our hands for collection are considered worthless. We have a system that never fails of results. We do not plead or argue the case with anyone. No one knows more about an account than the person who owes it. The pleading and aiguing has all been done between the parties long before tho account reaches our hands. Therefore we waive preliminaries and begin a system of inquiries among the debtor's friends and acquaintances (social as well as personal) regarding his financial responsibility and standing.
We advertise the account for sale in the newspaper of his town. Only as a last resort do we bring suit, for experience shows that “dead beats" fear notoriety more than law. Publicity puts a stop to his practices, since everybody is warned. It is seldom that anybody can "beat" a community after we are through with him, for he is virtually placarded as a person who does not meet his obligations.
We recognize no such word as “fail” in our line, and nothing short of a new-made grave, a well attested cataclysm or an earthquake can bar us.
We ask no fee vntil your account has been collected and we never return an execution proof individual's account as uncollectible, unless we can acompany it with a physician's certificate of decease, or with the verdict of a coroner's jury upon the debtor's untimely taking off.
We make collections in all parts of the United States. Send us your old notes and accounts and we will collect them. No fee charged until collection is made. Respectfully,
THE AMERICAN COLLECTION AGENCY, Topeka, Kans. On looking over some rf our exchanges I noticed in several of the commercially-conducted affairs the smiling reproduction of Anthony P. T. Wilson's countenance, which was included in the acceptance of the foregoing proposition, and among the number none appeared to take greater pride in parading the fact that it had charged the “other fellow” double rates than our more or less esteemed contemporary, Progress. The great hue and cry from many of the medical magazines recently has been the prevalence of unethical advertising in the other fellow's" publication, but I think if such methods as the foregoing are to be adopted generally that the whirling-spray-lost-manhood-electric-belt combine will have to demand a guarantee from certain so-called ethical publications that their rates are not being
manipulated in favor of less meritorious outputs, before they can throw any great amount of business to some of our real close if not overly-cautious neighbors.
THE CRITIQUE solicits business in the advertising line, but if it ever stoops so noticeably as to accept anything along the lines laid down by this Kansas curio I would expect every legitimate advertiser to desert its pages for fence-board privileges in preference.
I can guarantee readers of this publication of the reliability of every advertiser using its pages, and assure our advertising patrons that no one firm is paying the advertising expenses of some one else occupying space through the process of doubling the rate of the other fellow.
THE NEW INDEPENDENT TELEPHONE COMPANY. I am not looking for a telephone company any more “independent” than one the people of Denver are forced to patronize at the present time, but there appears in our pages this month the announcement of a new Independent Telephone Company, and from what I can learn of its intentions there seems to be no reason why it should not enter Denver and solicit business from doctors, and others, on an equal footing with the old “independent” company, inasmuch as the self-reliance of the latter is merely a matter of habit, whereas the new company has adopted this title to distinguish it as a medium of redress from old methods of doing business.
I do not know any one class in the community whose comfort and convenience was to be so much upset in case the members thereof were forced to patronize a new telephone company, than that of the medical profession, if one were to judge from an unsigned circular which floated into my office recently.
Well, it rather looks as if you were going to be “forced,” doctor, so get ready.
I have been investigating this proposed new service somewhat extensively, and am led to think that for professional men and others whose business require the closest secrecy, that this new device will fill a long-felt want, inasmuch as it cuts off completely the possibility of eaves-dropping by curious neighbors and over-inquisitive operators, and provides a medium whereby the doctor's patients may talk as freely and fully over the wire as they might in his private office; this one feature alone should appeal to the doctors, and I have no doubt but men in other professions would welcome this sense of security with equal pleasure. There would be no such thing as delays due to disputes which arise now almost constantly over the question of "registering," and many persons who found themselves at
night unable to telephone much-needed medical aid, on ace:int of the nickel, would be spared the worry and waiting which attends such a dilemma under the present system, inasmuch as the automatic waives all such detail, and is never busy unless you are using it. An automatic would have saved a certain prominent attorney of Denver a fifty-thousand-dollar damage suit, and as an evidence of its efficiency it is only necessary to say that in the city of Cleveland, Ohio, and all through that state; Indianapolis, Indiana; Waco, Galveston, Houston and San Antonio, Texas; Los Angeles, California, and Seattie, Washington, the Bell system is being buried alive, and the users of the new method have less cause for complaint than was ever known under the old order of telephone service. Had I been provided with one of the new automatics, it would have been impossible to have been subjected to the annoyance which has fallen to the lot of my office associate and myself, during the past sixty days, and from which several complaints by way of phone to “Main 2,” and a personal letter to General Manager Field have failed to free us.
My office number is Main 1900, and Mercy Hospital is York 1900, and all the way from three to thirty times a day, either Dr. Smythe or myself have been called to the phone and asked, “Is this Mercy Hospital ?" It has become so much of a nuisance that we hesitate to answer our ring, and were it not that we would hate to lose a call really belonging to us, I don't know but what we would allow our telephone calls to remain unanswered altogether.
I'll admit that I am not of so much importance, especially in the eyes of the “independent" telephone company, as to merit any special consideration in this particular instance, and it no doubt appears selfish to some that I should insist upon the "other fellow's" number being changed when mine could as easily be renumbered, but inasmuch as this office has had its present number, Main 1900, ever since telephone service was established in the city, it seems to me that the mere matter of seniority of service at the telephone cashier's window should establish my right to the old number and relief from the annoyance the new one has imposed upon me.
If any one wants to know why I am in favor of a different brand of independence in telephone matters, I hope the foregoing will be sufficient explanation, and if there are any who fear the burden of double equipment would be too much for them to bear, the best way to overcome that would be to follow the footsteps of their Los Angeles friends and make the use of the uew Independent so universal as to cause the removal of the old phone to appear more in the nature of an incident than in the light of a crushing calamity.
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Personal Item Occasionally
Dr. J. M. Blaine, editor of Colorado Medicine, was confined to his home several days the latter part of September, by sickness.
The many friends of Dr. George Brown will be pleased to learn of his return to Denver and of the fact that he has entirely recovered his health.
One of the great crosses our friend Kraft has had to bear recently was a forced absence from the A. I. H, meeting. No one was missed more, by-the-way.
According to Medical Century M. R. French, M.D., of Chicago, had charge of the Boericke & Tafel exhibit at Atlantic City and it was a dandy. So is French.
One of the most graceful acts of the A. I. H., at its recent meeting, was to donate $1,000 to the San Francisco Hospital. It is a homeo pathic hospital, however.
The Denver Homeopathic College exhibit at Atlantic City, "consisted of fine photographs showing the city, the college and laboratory facilities.” Any hospital?
Medical Century says that there were a number of editors present at the Jersey City meeting, and that a “finer looking body of men you never saw. To be sure.
Bristol Myers & Co., Denver Chemical Co., Lambert Pharmacal Co. and Mellins Food Co., were among the Critique advertisers who had exbibits of merit at the A. I. H.
In all probability either Norfolk or Jamestown, Virginia, will be the next meeting place of the American Institute, which should guarantee a large attendance from everywhere.
We would be pleased to have ten copies of The Critique for October with which to fill cut our files. Not a copy was left of the last edition and quite a number of late orders had to be cancelled.
The Critique offers all sorts and sizes of apology for its inability to publish, promptly, all of the excellent matter sent it during the past months. By confining article3 to a reasonably restricted length we hope to make room for all in the future.
If the new Pacific Coast Journal of Homeopathy missed any of the San Francisco doctors in its "The Profession at Home" department, September issue, it was a special dispensation of providence, not a lack of energy on the part of the Journal.
A drink demented doctor in Leadville, last September, gave his lady love such an accurate imitation "of a man blowing the top of his