point, like a rusty weather-cock-all my depend- | ance is on the lady. Sand. You'll allow Gradus to speak to Miss Doiley? Doil. Oh, ay, to be sure-the more he speaks the less she'll like him. Here, show Mr. Gradus the dressing-room. [Erit GRADUS.] Give her another dose; surfeit her by all means. Why, sure, Mr. Sandford, you had no hand in transmogrifying the Sand. Yes, faith, I had. I couldn't endure the idea of seeing your charming daughter tied to a collection of Greek apothegms and Latin quotations; so I endeavoured to English him. Doil. English him! I take it shocking ill of you, Mr. Sandford-that I must tell you.- -Here are all my hopes gone, like a whiff of tobacco! Sand. Pho! my dear Mr. Doiley, this attachment of yours to scholarship is a mere whim- Doil. Whim! well, suppose it is, I will have my whim. Worked hard forty years, and saved about twice as many thousand pounds; and if so much labour and so much money wont entitle a man to whim, I don't know what the devil should. Sand. Nor I either, I'm sure. Doil. To tell you a bit of a secret-lack of larning has been my great detriment. If I'd been a scholar, there's no knowing what I mought have got my plumb might have been two Doil. Great trouble! Dear me, dear me! I always thought Sir Wilford had been a wiser man.-Why, I would have given the world for such a son. Sand. He swallows it rarely! [Aside.] Oh, he piques himself on such trifles as reading the Greek and Latin authors in their own tongues, and mastering all the quibbles of our English philosophers Doil. English philosophers! I wouldn't give a farthing for them. Sand. Why, sure you have heard of a Bacon, a Locke, a Newton Doil. Newton! oh, ay-I have heard of Sir Isaac-every body has heard of Sir Isaac-great man-master of the Mint. Sand. Oh, Sir! this youth has found a dozen mistakes in his theories, and proved him wrong in one or two of his calculations. In short, he is advised to give the world a system of his own, in which, for aught I know, he'll prove the earth to be concave instead of spherical, and the moon to be no bigger than a punch-bowl. Doil. [Aside.] He's the man-he's the man! Look'e, Mr. Sandford, you've given a description of this young fellow, that's set my blood in a ferment. Do you-now, my dear friend, do you think that you could prevail upon him to marry my daughter? Sand. Why, I don't know--neither beauty nor gold has charms for him. Knowledge-knowbar-ledge is his mistress. Sand. Why, doubtless, a little classical knowledge might have been useful in driving your gains for Russia tallow and whale blubber. Doil. Ay, to be sure! And I do verily believe it hindered me from being Lord Mayor-only think of that-Lord Mayor of London! Sund. How so? Doil. Why, I tended the common council and all the parish cetings for fifteen years, without daring for to make one arangue; at last a westry was called about choosing of a turncock. So now, thinks I, I'll show 'em what I'm good for.-Our alderinan was in the purples-so, thinks I, if he tips off, why not I as well as another;-So I'll make a speech about patrots, and then ax for their votes. Sand. Very judicious! Doil. If you'll believe me, I got up three times -Silence! says Mr. Crier; and my tongue grew so dry with fright, that I couldn't wag it; so I was forced to squat down again, 'midst horse-laughs; and they nick-named me Dummy, through the whole ward. Sand. Wicked rogues! Well, I ask your pardon-I had no idea of these important reasons. Yet, how men differ! Now the family of Sir Wilford Granger are quite distressed by the obstinate attachment to the sciences, of that fine young fellow I told you of this morning. Doil. Ay! What's he Sir William Granger's son? Knew his father very well:-kept a fine study of horses, and lost many thousands by it; lent him money many a time-good man-always punctual. Sand. Ay, Sir, but this youth disappointed all his hopes. Mighty pleasant, to see a young fellow, formed to possess life in all its points and bewitching varieties, shrink from the world, and bury himself amidst obsolete books, systems, and schisms, whilst pleasure wooes him to her soft embrace, and joys solicit him in vain! Oh it gave his father great trouble. Doil. Ay! I'm sorry for that-and yet I'm glad of it too. Now, see what ye can do with himsee what ye can do with him! Sand. Well, well, I'll try. He promised to call on me here this evening, in his way to the Museum. I don't know whether he isn't below now. Doil. Below now! Ifackins, that's luckyhang me if it isn't! Do, go and-and speak to him a bit-and bring him up-bring him up. Tell him, if he'll marry Elizabeth, I'll give him, that is, I'll leave him every farthing I have in the world. Sand. Well, since you are so very earnest, I'll see what I can do. [Exit. Doil. Thank'e, thank'e! I'cod! I'll buy him twice as many books as a college library, but what I'll bribe him-that I will. What the dickens can Elizabeth be about with that thing there, that Gradus! He a man of larning! Hang me, if I don't believe his head's as hollow as my cane. Shure, she can't have taken a fancy to the smattering monkey! Ho, there they are-here he comes! Why, there's Greek and algebra in his face. Enter SANDFORD and GRANGER, dressed in black. Grang. I thank you, Sir. [Very solemnly. Doil. I knew your father, Sir, as well as a beggar knows his dish. Mayhap, Mr. Sandford told you that I wanted for to bring you and my daughter acquainted-I'll go and call her in. Grang. 'Tis unnecessary. Doil. He seems a mighty silent man. [Apart. Sand. Studying-studying. Ten to one he's forming a discourse in Arabic, or revolving one of Euclid's problems. Doil. Couldn't you set him a talking a bit! I long for to hear him talk. Sand. Come, man! forget the old sages a moment. Can't the idea of Miss Doiley give a fillip to your imagination? Grang. Miss Doiley, I'm informed, is as lovely as a woman can be. But what is woman? Only one of Nature's agreeable blunders. Sand. Here's a blow up! Doil. Why, for all he looks so like a nincompoop in this pye-picked jacket, he 's got his noddle full of Greek and algebra, and them things. Why, Gradus, don't stand aloof, man-this is a brother scholar, I tell ye. Grad. A scholar! all who have earned that distinction are my brethren. Carissime frater, gaudeo te videre. Grang. Sir-you—I- -most obedient. ! Doil. Hum! That smacks of something! [Aside.]-Why, as to that, Mr. Granger, a woman with no portion but her whims, might be but a kind of a Jew's bargain; but when fifty thousand is popped into the scale, she must be bad in-wish thou wert at the bottom of the Red sea, and deed, if her husband does not find her a pen'worth. the largest folio in thy library about thy neck. Grang. With men of the world, Mr. Doiley, fifty thousand pounds might have their weight; but in the balance of philosophy, gold is light as dephlogisticated air. Doil. That's deep-I can make nothing of it: that must be deep. [Aside.] Mr. Granger! the great account I have had of your larning, and what not, has made me willing for to be akin to you. Grang. Mr. Sandford suggested to me your design, Sir; and as you have so nobly proposed your daughter as the prize of learning, I have an ambition to be related to you. Doil. [Aside.] But I'll see a bit farther into him, though, first. Now pray, Mr. Granger! pray now-a-I say. [To SAND] Ax him some deep question, that he may show himself a bit. Sand. What the devil shall I say? A deep question you would have it? Let me see!-Oh, Granger, is it your opinion that the ancient antipodes walked erect, or crawled on all fours? Grang. A thinking man always doubts-but the best informations concur, that they were quadrupeds during two revolutions of the sun, and bipeds ever after. Doil. Quadpedes! Bipedes! What a fine man he is. [Aside. Sand. A surprising transformation! Grang. Not more surprising than the transformation of an eruca to a chrysalis, a chrysalis to a nymph, and a nymph to a butterfly. Dou. There again! I see it will do I see it will do: ay, that I will-hang me if I dont. [Aside. Exit, chuckling and laughing. Grang. What's he gone off for, so abruptly? Sand. For his daughter, I hope. Give ye joy, my dear fellow! the nymph, the eruca, and the chrysalis, have won the day. Grang. How shall I bound my happiness! My dear Sandford, that was the luckiest question, about the antipodes. Sand. Yes, pretty successful. at your studies? Have you been Grang. Oh, I've been in the dictionary this half hour; and have picked up cramp words enough to puzzle and delight the old gentleman the remainder of his life. Sand. Here he is, faithGrang. And Elizabeth with him-I hear her dear footsteps! O how shall I! Doil. [Without.] Come along, I say what a plague are you so modest for? Come in here, [Pulls in GRADUS by the arm.] Here, I've brought him-one of your own kidney-ha! ha! ha! Now I'll lay you a gallon you can't guess what I've brought him for, I've brought him-ha! ha! ha! for to pit him against you, [To GRANGER.] to see which of you two is the most larned-ha! ha! Grang. Ten thousand devils, plagues, and furies! [Aside. Sand. For Heaven's sake, Mr. Doiley, what do you mean? Doil. Mean! why I mean for to pit 'em, to be sure, and to give Elizabeth to the winner.-Touch him up, touch him up! [To GRANGER.] Show him what a fool he is. Sand. Why, sure you wont set them together by the ears! Doil. No, no; but I'm resolved for to set them together by the tongues. To cut the business short-Mr. Gradus! you are to be sure a great dab at larning, and what not; but I'll bet my daughter, and fifty thousand to boot, that Granger beats ye- -and he that wins shall have her. Grang. Heavens, what a stake! 'Tis suthcient to inspire a dolt with the tongues of Babel. Sand. My dear friend, think of the indelicacy Doil. Fiddle-de-dee!-I tell you, I will have my whim-and so, Gradus, set off. By Jenkin! you'll find it a tough business to beat Grangerhe's one of your great genus men-going to write a book about Sir Isaac, and the moon, and the devil knows what. [MISS DOILEY and CHARLOTTE enter at the back of the stage. Sand. If so, the more glorious will be my victory. Come, Sir! let us enter the lists, since it must be so, for this charming prize; [Pointing to MISS DOILEY] choose your weapons,-Hebrew -Greek-Latin, or English. Name your subject; we will pursue it syllogistically, or socratically, as you please. Grang. [Aside.] Curse your syllogisms and socratisms. Doil. No, no, I'll not have no English-what a plague! every shoe-black jabbers English, so give us a touch of Greek to set off with-come, Gradus, you begin. Miss D. Undone! undone! Grad. If it is merely a recitation of Greek that you want, you shall be gratified. An epigram that occurs to me, will give you an idea of that sublime language! Char. [Aside.] Oh, confound your sublime language! Grad. Panta gelos, kai panta konis kai panta to meden Panta gar exalagon, esti ta ginomena. Doil. Panta tri pantry! Why, that's all about the pantry. What, the old Grecians loved tit-bits, mayhap-but that's low! aye, Sandford? Sand. Oh, cursed low! he might as well have talked about a pig-stye. Doil. Come, Granger, now for it! Elizabeth and fifty thousand pounds! Grang. Yes, Sir. I-I-am not much prepared: I could wish-I could wish-Sandford! Char. [Aside.] Ah! it's all over. He could as easily furnish the ways and means, as a word in Greek. Doil. Hoity, toity! What, at a stand! Why sure you can talk Greek as well as Gradus. Grang. 'Tis a point I cannot decide, you must determine it. Now, impudence, embrace me with thy seven-fold shield! Zanthus, I remember, in describing such a night as this Grad. Zanthus! you surely err. Homer mentions but one being of that name, except a river, and he was a horse. Grang. Sir, he was an orator-and such a one that, Homer records, the gods themselves inspired him. judge in all disputes concerning the vulgar tongue. Doil. Ay, to be sure I am. Who cares for your peals? I peal too; and I tell you, I wont be imposed on. Here, Elizabeth, I have got ye a husband, at last, to my heart's content. Miss D. Him, Sir! You presented that gentleman to me this morning, and I have found such a fund of merit in him Doil. In he! what in that beau-bookworm! that argufies me down, I don't know English? Don't go for to provoke me-bid that Mr. Granger welcome to my house-he'll soon be master on't. Miss D. Sir, in obedience to the commands of my father[Significantly. Grad. True, Sir-but you wont deny— Doil. Sha'n't say obedience, say something to Doil. Come, come! I sha'n't have no brow-him of yourself-he's a man after my own heart. beating-nobody offered for to contradict you- Miss D. Then Sir, without reserve, I acknowso begin. [To GRANGER.] What said orator Zan-ledge your choice of Mr. Granger is perfectly thus! agreeable to mine. Grang. Yon lucid orb, in æther pensile, irradiates th' expanse. Refulgent scintillations, in th' ambient void opake, emit humid splendour. Chrysalic spheroids th' horizon vivify-astifarious constellations, nocturnal sporades, in refrangerated radi, illume our orb terrene. [Aside. Miss D. I breathe again. Doil. There there; well spoke, Granger!Now, Gradus, beat that! Grad. I am enwrapt in astonishment! You are imposed on, Sir,-instead of classical language, you have heard a rant in English Doil. English! Zounds! d'ye take me for a fool? D'ye think I don't know my own mothertongue-Twas no more like English, than I am like Whittington's cat. Grad. It was every syllable English. Doil. There's impudence!-there wasn't no word of it English-if you take that for English, devil take me if I believe there was a word of Greek in all your try-pantrys. Grad. Oh! the torture of ignorance! Doil. Ignorant!-Come, come, none of your tricks upon travellers. I know you mean all that as a skit upon my edication- -But I'll have you to know, Sir, that I'll read the hardest chapter of Nehemiah with you for your ears. Grad. I repeat that you are imposed on. Mr. Sandford, I appeal to you. Grang. And I appeal Doil. That's my dear Bet! [Kissing her.]— We'll have the wedding directly. There! d'ye understand that, Mr Tri-pantry?—Is that English? Grad. Yes, so plain, that it has exsuscitated my understanding-I perceive I have been duped. Doil. Ay, well! I had rather you should be the dupe than me. Grad. Well, Sir, I have no inclination to contest-if the lovely Charlotte will perform her promise. Char. Agreed! provided that in your charac ter of husband, you will be as singular and oldfashioned, as the wig you wore this morning. Doil. What, cousin! have you taken a fancy to the scholar? Egad! you're a cute girl, and mayhap may be able to make something of him; and I don't care if I throw in a few hundreds, that you mayn't repent your bargain. Well now, I've settled this affair exactly to my mind, I am the happiest man in the world. And, d'ye hear, Gradus? I don't love for to bear malice. If you'll trot back to college, and larn the difference be tween Greek and English, why you may stand a chance to be tutor-when they've made me a grandfather. Grad. I have had enough of languages. You see I have just engaged a tutor to teach me to read the world; and if I play my part there as well as I did at Brazen-nose, your indulgence will Sand. Nay, gentlemen, Mr. Doiley is your grant me applause. 15* ACT 1. SCENE I-Pavilion near Pizarro's TentELVIRA discovered—VALVERDE enters, and attempts to kiss her hand; ELVIRA rises. Elv. Insolent! Whence is thy privilege to interrupt the few moments of repose my harassed mind can snatch amid the tumults of this noisy camp? Shall I inform thy master, Pizarro, of this presumptuous treachery? Val. I am his servant, it is true-trusted by him and I know him well; and therefore 'tis I ask, by what magic could Pizarro gain thy heart, by what fatality still holds he thy affection? Elv. Hold! thou trusty secretary! Val. Ignobly born! in mind and manners rude, ferocious, and unpolished, though cool and crafty if occasion need-in youth audacious-ill his first manhood-a licensed pirate-treating men as brutes, the world as booty; yet now the Spanish hero is he styled-the first of Spanish conquerors! and for a warrior so accomplished, 'tis fit Elvira should leave her noble family, her fame, her home, to share the dangers, humours, and the crimes of such a lover as Pizarro! Elv. What! Valverde moralizing! But grant I am in error, what is thy incentive? Passion, infatuation, call it what thou wilt; but what at taches thee to this despised unworthy leader? Base lucre is thy object, mean fraud thy means. Could you gain me, thou only hopest to win a nigher interest in Pizarro-I know you. defeat, and burning wishes for revenge, again have brought Pizarro to Peru; but trust me, he overrates his strength, nor measures well the foe. Encamped in a strange country, where terror cannot force, nor corruption buy a single friend, what have we to hope? The army murmuring at increasing hardships, while Pizarro decorates with gaudy spoil the gay pavilion of his luxury, each day diminishes our force. Elv. But are you not the heirs of those that fall? Val. Are gain and plunder, then, our only purpose? Is this Elvira's heroism? Elv. No, so save me, Heaven! I abhor the motive, means, and end of your pursuits; but I will trust none of you:-in your whole army there is not one of you that has a heart, or speaks ingenuously-aged Las-Casas, and he alone, excepted. Val. He an enthusiast in the opposite and worse extreme! Elv. Oh! had I earlier known that virtuous man, how different might my lot have been! Val. I will grant Pizarro could not then so easily have duped you; forgive me, but at that event 1 still must wonder. Elv. Hear me, Valverde. When first my virgin fancy waked to love, Pizarro was my country's idol. "Tis known that when he left Panama in a slight vessel, his force was not a hundred men. Arrived in the island of Gallo, with his sword he drew a line upon the sands, and said,Pass those who fear to die or conquer with their leader. Thirteen alone remained, and at the head of these the warrior stood his ground. Even at the moment when my ears first caught this tale, my heart exclaimed, Pizarro is its lord! What since I have perceived, or thought, or felt! you Val. Hear me, Elvira-Shame from his late must have more worth to win the knowledge of. Val. On my soul thou wrong'st me; what else my faults, I have none towards thee: but indulge the scorn and levity of thy nature; do it while yet the time permits; the gloomy hour, I fear, too soon approaches. Elv. Valverde, a prophet too! ened, and the audacious boy shall soon know that Pizarro lives, and has a grateful recollection of the thanks he owes him. Val. 'Tis doubted whether still Alonzo lives. Piz. 'Tis certain that he does; one of his ar mour-bearers is just made prisoner: twelve thousand is their force, as he reports, led by Alonzo and Peruvian Rolla. This day they make a solemn sacrifice on their ungodly altars. We must profit by their security, and attack them unprepared-the sacrificers shall become the victims. Elv. Wretched innocents! and their own blood shall bedew their altars! Piz. Right! [Trumpets without.] Elvira re Piz. Elvira, I will know the cause, I am re-tire! solved ! Elv. I am glad of that, because I love resolution, and am resolved not to tell thee. Now my resolution, I take it, is the better of the two, beause it depends upon myself, and thine does not. Piz. Psha! trifler! Val. Elvira was laughing at my apprehensions that Piz. Apprehensions! Val. Yes that Alonzo's skill and genius should so have disciplined and informed the enemy, as to Piz. Alonzo! the traitor! How I once loved that man! His noble mother entrusted him, a boy, to my protection. At my table did he feast -in my tent did he repose. I had marked his early genius, and the valorous spirit that grew with it. Often I had talked to him of our first adventures-what storms we struggled with what perils we surmounted! When landed with a slender host upon an unknown land—then, when I told how famine and fatigue, discord and toil, day by day, did thin our ranks; amid close-pressing enemies, how still undaunted I endured and dared-maintained my purpose and my power, in despite of growling mutiny or bold revolt, till with my faithful few remaining, I became at last victorious!-When, I say, of these things I spoke, the youth Alonzo, with tears of wonder and delight, would throw him on my neck and swear, his soul's ambition owned no other leader. Val. What could subdue attachment so begun? Piz. Las-Casas-He it was, with fascinating craft and canting precepts of humanity, raised in Alonzo's mind a new enthusiasm, which forced him, as the stripling termed it, to forego his country's claims for those of human nature. Val. Yes, the traitor left thee, joined the Peruvians, and became thy enemy, and Spain's. Piz. But first with weariless remonstrance he sued to win me from my purpose, and untwine the sword from my determined grasp. Much he spoke of right, of justice, and humanity, calling the Peruvians our innocent and unoffending brethren. Val. They obdurate heathens-They our brethren! Piz. But when he found, that the soft folly of the pleading tears he dropped upon my bosom, fell on marble, he flew and joined the foe: then, profiting by the lessons he had gained in wronged Pizarro's school, the youth so disciplined and led his new allies, that soon he forced me- -Ha! I burn with shame and fury while I own it in base letreat and foul discomfiture to quit the shore. Val. But the hour of revenge is come. Elv. Why should I retire? Piz. Because men are to meet here, and on manly business. Elv. O men! men! ungrateful and perverse! O woman! still affectionate though wronged! The beings to whose eyes you turn for animation, hope, and rapture, through the days of mirth and revelry; and on whose bosoms in the hour of sore calamity, you seek for rest and consolation, them, when the pompous follies of your mean ambition are the question, you treat as playthings or as slaves!I shall not retire. Piz. Remain, then-and if thou canst, be silent. Elv. They only babble who practise not reflection. I shall think-and thought is silence. Piz. Ha-there's somewhat in her manner lately Enter LAS-CASAS, ALMAGRO, GONZALO, DavilLA, OFFICERS, and SOLDIERS. Las-C. Pizarro, we attend thy summons, Piz. Welcome, venerable father-my friends, most welcome. Friends and fellow-soldiers, at length the hour has arrived, which to Pizarro's hopes presents the full reward of our undaunted enterprize, and long-enduring toils. Confident in security, this day the foe devotes to solemn sacrifice: if with bold surprise we strike on their solemnity-trust to your leader's word-we shall not fail. Alm. Too long inactive have we been mouldering on the coast-our stores exhausted, and our soldiers murmuring-Battle! Battle! then death to the armed, and chains for the defenceless. Dav. Death to the whole Peruvian race! Alm. Yes, General, the attack, and instantly! Then shall Alonzo, basking at his ease, soon cease to scoff our suffering, and scorn our force. Las-C. Alonzo!-scorn and presumption are not in his nature. pil. Alm. 'Tis fit Las-Casas should defend his pu Piz. Speak not of the traitor-or hear his name but as the bloody summons to assault and vengeance. It appears we are agreed. Alm, and Dav. We are. Las-C. Is then the dreadful measures of your cruelty not yet complete ?-Battle !-gracious Heaven! Against whom?-Against a king, in whose mild bosom your atrocious injuries even yet have not excited hate! but who, insulted or victorious, still sues for peace. Against a people, who never wronged the living being their Creator Piz [tis; I have returned-my force is strength-formed: a people, who, children of innocence' |