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duke: how much money do you think a duke | Instead of a sword she endu'd them with wit, would expect with such a wench?
And gave them a shield in their beauty. Jenk. Why, colonel, with submission, I think there is no occasion to go out of our own country Sound, sound then the trumpet, both sexes to arms, here: we have never a duke in it, I believe, but Our tyrants at once and protectors ! we have many an honest gentleman, who, in my
We quickly shall see, whether courage or charms
Decide for the Helens or Hectors. Erit. opinion, might deserve the young lady. Col. O. So you would have me marry Dy to a
Col. O. Well, Master Jenkins ! don't you think country squire, eh! How say you to this, Dy?
now that a nobleman, a duke, an earl, or a marwould not you rather be married to a duke?
quis, might be content to share his title-I say, Diana. So my husband 's a rake, papa, I don't
you understand me-with a sweetener of thirty care what he is.
or forty thousand pounds, to pay off' mortgages ? Col. O. A rake! you damned, confounded, little Besides, there's a prospect of my whole estate; baggage; why you would not wish to marry a for I dare swear her brother will never have any rake, would you? So her husband is a rake, she children. does not care what he is! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Jenk. I should be concerned at that, colonel, Diana. Well, but listen to me, papa—When when there are two such fortunes to descend to you go out with your gun, do you take any plea- his heirs, as yours and Sir John Flowerdale's. gure in shooting the poor tame ducks and chickens
Col. O. Why look you, Master Jenkins, Sir in your yard ? No, the partridge, the pheasant, John Flowerdale is an honest gentleman ; our fathe woodcock, are the game; there is some sport milies are nearly related; we have been neighin bringing them down, because they are wild; bours time out of mind ; and if he and I have an and it is just the same with a husband, or a lover. odd dispute now and then, it is not for want of a I would not waste powder and shot, to wound one cordial esteem at bottom. He is going to marry of your sober, pretty-behaved gentlemen; but to his daughter to my son ; she is a beautiful girl, an hit a libertine, extravagant, madcap fellow, to take elegant girl, a sensible girl, a worthy girl, and a him upon the wing
word in your ear-damn me if I an't very serry Col. 0. Do you hear her, Master Jenkins ? for her. Ya, ha, ha!
Jenk. Sorry, colonel ? Jenk. Well but, good colonel, what do you say o my worthy and honourable patron here, Sir kins, my son wont do.
Col. O. Ay-between ourselves, Master Jenjohn Flowerdale ? He has an estate of eight Jenk. How do you mean? thousand pounds a year as well paid rents as any
Col. O. I tell you, Master Jenkins, he wont do in the kingdom, and but one only daughter to en--he is not the thing, a prig--At sixteen years joy it; and yet he is willing, you see, to give this old, or thereabouts, he was å bold, sprightly boy, daughter to your son.
as you should see in a thousand; could drink his Diana. Pray, Mr. Jenkins, how does Miss Cla: pint of port, or his bottle of claret—now he mixes rissa and our university friend, Mr. Lionel ? That all his wine with water. is the only grave young man I ever liked, and the
Jenk. Oh! if that be his only fault, colonel, he only handsome one I ever was acquainted with will ne'er make the worse husband, I'll answer that did not make love to me.
for it. Col. O. Ay, Master Jenkins, who is this Lionel? Coi. O. You know my wife is a woman of quathey say he is a damned, witty, knowing fellow; lity-1 was prevailed upon to send him to be and, egad, I think him well enough for one brought brought up by her brother, Lord Jessamy, who up in a college.
had no children of his own, and promised to leave Jenk. His father was a general officer, a parti-him an estate-he has got the estate indeed, but cular friend of Sir John's, who, like many more the fellow has taken his lordship's name for it. brave men, that live and die in defending their Now, Master Jenkins, I would be glad to know country, left little more than honour behind him how the name of Jessamy is better than that of Sir John sent this young man, at his own expense, Oldboy. to Oxford. During the vacation he is come to pay Jenk. Well but, colonel, it is allowed on all us a visit, and Sir John intends that he shall hands that his lordship has given your son an exshortly take orders for a very considerable bene- cellent education. fice in the gift of the family, the present incum Col. O. Pshaw! he sent him to the university, bent of which is an aged man.
and to travel forsooth; but what of that? I was Diana. The last time I was at your house, he abroad, and at the university myself, and never a was teaching Miss Clarissa mathematics and phi- rush the better for either. I quarrelled with his losophy. Lord, what a strange brain I have! If lorilship about six years before his death, and so I was to sit down to distract myself with such had not an opportunity of seeing how the youth studies
went on; if I had, Master Jenkins, I would no Col. O. Go, hussy, let some of your brother's more have suffered him to be made such a monrascals inform their master he has been long key of-He has been in my house but three days, enough at his toilet; here is a message from Sir and it is all turned topsy turvy by him and his John Flowerdale— You a brain for mathematics rascally servants—then his chamber is like a perindeed! We shall have women wanting to head fumer's shop, with wash-balls, parte, and pomaour regiments to-morrow or next day.
tum—and do you know he had the impudence to Diana. Well, papa, and suppose we did. I be, tell me yesterday, at my own table, that I did not lieve, in a battle of the sexes, you men would know how to behave myself? hardly get the better of us.
Jenk. Prav, colonel, how does my lady Mary? To rob them of strength, when wise nature Col. O. What, my wife? In the old way, Mas thought fit,
ter Jenkins; always complaining; ever something By women to still do her duty,
the matter with her head, or her back, or her
egs—but we have had the devil to pay lately, Flowerdale came but last night from his sister's she and I did not speak to one another for three seat in the west, and is a little out of order. Bui weeks.
I suppose he thinks he ought to appear before Jenk. How so, Sir ?
him with his daughter in one hand, and his rentCol. O. A little affair of jealousy-you must roll in the other, and cry, Sir, pray do me the faknow my gamekeeper's daughter has had a child, vour to accept them. and the plaguy baggage takes it into her head to Lady M. Nay but, Mr. Oldboy, permit me to lay it to me-Upon my soul, it is a fine, fat, chub-sayby infant as ever I set my eyes on; I have sent it Col. O. He need not give himself so many afto nurse; and, between you and me, I believe I fected airs; I think it's very well if he gets such shall leave it a fortune.
a girl for going for; she's one of the handsomest Jenk. Ah, colonel, you will never give over. and richest in this country, and more than he de
CA. 0. You know my lady has a pretty vein serves. of poetry; she writ me an heroic epistle upon it, Mr. J. That's an exceeding fine china jar where she calls me her dear, false Damon; so I your ladyship has got in the next room; I saw let her cry a little, promised to do so no more, and the fellow of it the other day at Williams's, and now we are as good friends as ever.
will send to my agent to purchase it: it is the true Jenk. Well, colonel, I must take my leave; I matchless old blue and white. Lady Betty Barehave delivered my message, and Sir John may bones has a couple that she gave a hundred guiexpect the pleasure of your company to dinner. neas for, on board an Indiaman; but she reckons
Col. O. Ay, ay, we'll come--pox o'ceremony them at a hundred and twenty-five, on account among friends. But wont you stay and see my of half a dozen plates, four nankeen beakers, and son; I have sent to him, and suppose he will be a couple of shaking mandarins, that the customhere as soon as his valet-de-chambre will give him house officers took from under her petticoats. leave.
Col. O. Did you ever hear the like of this ? Jenk. There is no occasion, good Sir: present He's chattering about old china, while I am talkmy humble respects, that's all.
ing to him of a fine girl. I tell you what, Mr. Col. O. Well but, zounds, Jenkins, you must Jessamy, since that's the name you choose to be not go till you drink something-let you and I called by, I have a good mind to knock you have a bottle of hock
down. Jenk. Not for the world, colonel : I never touch Mr. J. Knock me down, colonel! What do any thing strong in the morning.
you mean? I must tell you, Sir, this is a lanCol. O Never touch any thing strong! Why guage to which I have not been accustomed; one bottle wont hurt you, man; this is old, and and, if you think proper to continue to repeat it, mild as milk.
I shall be under the necessity of quitting your
Col. O. Quitting my house?
Mr. J. Yes, Sir, incontinently.
Col. 0. Why, Sir, am not l your father, Sir,
and have I not a right to talk to you as I like ? I And I lov'd a lass,
will, sirrah. But, perhaps, I mayn't be your faAnd I did as younkers did.
ther, and I hope not.
Lady M. Heavens and earth, Mr. Oldboy! But now I am old,
Col. 0. What's the matter, Madam? I mean, With grief be it told,
Madam, that he might have been changed at I must those freaks forbear;
nurse, Madam; and I believe he was. At sixty-three,
Mr. J. Huh, huh, huh! 'Twixt you and me,
Col. 0. Do you laugh at me, you saucy jackaA man grows worse for wear. Enter MR. JESSAMY, LADY MARY OLDBOY, and Lady M. Who's there ? somebody bring me a Maid.
chair. Really, Mr. Oldboy, you throw my weakly Lady M. Shut the door, why don't you shut frame into such repeated convulsions—but I see the door there? Have you a mind I should catch your aim; you want to lay me in my grave, and my death? This house is absolutely the cave of you will
very soon have that satisfaction. Æolus; one had as good live in the Eddystone,
Col. 0. I can't bear the sight of him. or in a windmill.
Lady M. Open that window, give me air, or I Mr. J. I thought they told your ladyship that shall faint. there was a messenger here from Sir John Flow
Mr. J. Hold, hold, let me tie a handkerchief erdale.
about my neck first. This cursed, sharp, north Col. O. Well, Sir, and so there was; but he wind- Antoine, bring down my muff. had not patience to wait upon your curling-irons.
Col. O. Ay, do, and his great coat. Mr. Jenkins was here, Sir John Flowerdale's Enter ANTOINE, with Great Coat and Muff. steward, who has lived in the family these forty
Lady M. Marg’ret, some hartshorn. My dear years.
Mr. Oldboy, why will you fly out in this way, Mr. J. And pray, Sir, might not Sir John when you know how it shocks my tender nerves? Flowerdale have come himself; if he had been acquainted with the rules of good breeding, he
Col. 0. Sblood, Madam, it 's enough to make
a man mad. would have known that I ought to have been vi.
Lady M. Hartshorn! hartshorn! sited. Lady M. Upon my word, colonel, this is a so
Enter Maid. kcism
Mr. J. Colonel !
Mr. J. Will you give me leave to ask you one man has heard of my parts and understanding; question ?
, . i Col. O. I don't know whether I will or not. should not like her when I see her? Why, posi
Mr. J. I should be glad to know, that 's all, tively, then I will not have her ? the treaty's at what single circumstance in my conduct, carriage, an end, and, sans compliment, we break up the or figure, you can possibly find fault with—Per- congress. But wont that be cruel, after having haps I may be brought to reform-Pr’ythee let suffered her to flatter herself with hopes, and me hear from your own mouth, then, seriously, showing myself to ber? She's a strange dowdy, what it is you do like, and what it is you do not I dare believe: however, she brings provision with like.
her for a separate maintenance.-Antoine, appreCol. 0. Hum!
tez la toilet. I am going to spend a cursed day; Mr. J. Be ingenuous, speak and spare not. that I perceive already ; I wish it was over ; Col. 0. You would know?
dread it as much as a general election. (Erit. Zounds, Sir! then I'll tell you without any jest, SCENE II.-A Study in Sir John FLOWERThe thing of all things, which I hate and detest;
Two Chairs, a Table, Globes, and Mathematical
Enter CLARISSA, followed by JENNY.
Clar. Immortal powers, protect me,
Assist, support, direct me;.
Relieve a heart oppress'd:
Ah! why this palpitation ?
Cease, busy perturbation,
And let me, let me rest.
Jenny. My dear lady, what ails you ?
Clar. Nothing, Jenny, nothing. (Exit.
Jenny. Pardon me, Madam, there is something
ails you indeed. Lord! what signifies all the Mr. J. What's the matter with the colonel, grandeur and riches in this world, if they can't Madam; does your ladyship know?
procure one content. I am sure it vexes me to Lady M. Heigho! don't be surprised, my dear; the heart, so it does, to see such a dear, sweet, it was the same thing with my late dear brother, worthy, young lady, as you are, pining yourself Lord Jessamy; they never could agree: that to death. good-natured friendly soul, knowing the delicacy Clar. Jenny, you are a good girl, and I am very of my constitution, has often said, sister Mary, 1 much obliged to you for feeling so much on my pity you.—Not but your father has good qualities; account; but in a little time I hope I shall be and I assure you I remember him a very fine gen- easier. tleman himself. When he first paid his addresses Jenny. Why now, here to-day, Madam, for sarto me, he was called agreeable Jack Oldboy, tain you ought to be merry to-day, when there's a though I married him without the consent of your fine gentleman coming to court you; but, if you noble grandfather.
like any one else better, I am sure I wish you had Mr.J. I think he ought to be proud of me; I him, with all my soul. believe there's many a duke, nay, prince, who Clar. Suppose, Jenny, I was so unfortunate as would esteem themselves happy in having such a to like a man without my father's approbation;
would you wish me married to him? Lady M. Yes, my dear; but your sister was Jenny. I wish you married to any one, Madam, always your father's favourite: he intends to give that could make you happy. her a prodigious fortune, and sets his heart upon Clar. Heigho! seeing her a woman of quality.
Jenny. Madam! Madam! yonder 's Sir John Mr. J. He should wish to see her look a little and Mr. Lionel on the terrace : I believe they are like a gentlewoman first. When she was in Lon- coming up here. Poor dear Mr. Lionel, he does don last winter, I am told she was taken notice not seem to be in over great spirits either. To be of by a few men. But she wants air, manner- sure, Madam, it 's no business of mine ; but I be
Lady M. And has not a bit of the genius of lieve if the truth was known, there are those in our family, and I never knew a woman of it but the house who would give more than ever I shall herself without. I have tried her: about three be worth, or any the likes of me, to prevent the years ago, I set ber to translate a little French marriage of a sartain person that shall be name song : I found she had not even an idea of versifi- less. cation; and she put down love and joy for rhyme Clar. What do you mean? I don't understand - 60 I gave her over.
you. Mr. J. Why, indeed, she appears to have more Jenny. I hope you are not angry, Madam? of the Thalestris than the Sappho about her. Clar. Ah! Jenny
Lady M. Well, my dear, I must go and dress Jenny. Lauk! Madam, do you think, when myself, though I protest I am fitter for my bed Mr. Lionel's a clergyman, he'll be obliged to cut than my coach. And condescend to the colonel off his hair ? I'm sure it will be a thousand pities. a little-Do, my dear, if it be only to oblige your for it is the sweetest colour! and your great pud
[Èxit. ding-sleeves, Lord! they'll quite spoil his shape. Mr. J. Let me consider: I am going to visit a and the fall of his shoulders. Well
. Madam, it country baronet here, who would fain prevail I was a lady of large fortune, I'll be hanged if upon me to marry his daughter: the old gentle Mr. Lionel should be a parson, if I could help it.
Ciar. I am going into my dressing-room— It Lion. You do my endeavours too much honour, seerns then Mr. Lionel is a great favourite of Sir; I have been able to add nothing to Miss yours; but pray, Jenny, have a care how you talk Flowerdale's accomplishments, but a little knowin this manner to any one else.
ledge in matters of small importance to a mind Jenny. Me talk, Madam! I thought you knew already so well improved. me better; and, my dear lady, keep up your spi Sir J. I don't think so; a little knowledge, nts. I'm sure I have dressed you to-day as nice even in those matters, is necessary for a woman, as hands and pins can make you.
in whom I am far from considering ignorance as
a desirable characteristic: when intelligence is I'm but a poor servant, 'tis true, Ma'am; But was I a lady like you, Ma'am;
not attended with impertinent affectation, it teachIn grief would I sit! The dickens a bit;
es them to judge with precision, and gives them a No, faith, I would search the world through, degree of solidity necessary for the companion of
a sensible man. Ma'am,
Lion. Yonder 's Mr.Jenkins: I fancy he's lookTo find what my liking could hit.
ing for you, Sir. Set in case a young man,
Sir J. I see him; he's come back from Colonel In my fancy there ran;
Oldboy's; I have a few words to say to him; and It might anger my friends and relations; will return to you again in a minute. [Erit. But if I had regard,
Lion. To be a burden to one's self, to wage It should go very hard,
continual war with one's own passions, forced to Or Pd follow my own inclinations. (Exeunt. combat, unable to overcome ! But see, she ap Enter Sir John FLOWERDALE and LIONEL.
pears, whose presence turns all my sufferings into
transport, and makes even misery itself delightful Sir J. Indeed, Lionel, I will not hear of it.
Enter CLARISSA. What! to run from us all of a sudden this way, and at such a time too ; the eve of my daughter's Perhaps, Madam, you are not at leisure now; wedding, as I may call it; when your company the subject we were upon yesterday.
otherwise, if you thought proper, we would resume must be doubly agreeable, as well as necessary to us?
Clar. I am sure, Sir, I give you a great deal of
trouble. Lion. Upon my word, Sir, I have been so long from the university, that it is time for me to think should think every hour of my life happily em
Lion. Madam, you give me no trouble ; I of returning. It is true, I have no absolute studies; but really, Şir, I shall be obliged to you, if ployed in your service; and as this is probably the
last time I shall have the honour of attending you you will give me leave to go sone time observed a more than ordinary gravity self extremely obliged to you; and shall ever conSir. Come, come, my dear Lionel, I have for upon the same occasion
Clar. Upon my word, Mr. Lionel, I think mygrowing upon you, and I am not to learn the rea- sider the enjoyment of your friendshipson otit: I know, to minds serious, and well inclined, like yours, the sacred functions you are
Lion. My friendship, Madam, can be of little about to embrace
moment to you; but if the most perfect adoration, Lion. Dear Sir, your goodness to me, of every should never be witness of it-if these, Madam,
if the warmest wishes for your felicity, though I kind, is so great, so unmerited! Your condescension, your friendly attentions-in short, Sir,
can have any merit to continue, in your remem! want words to express my sense of obliga- brance, a man once honoured with a share of your Sir J. Fy, fy, no more of them. By my last
Clar. Hold, Sir, I think I hear somebody. letters, I find that my old friend, the rector, still
Lion. If you please, Madam, we will resume continues in good health, considering his advanced our studies-Have you looked at the book I left yeatsYou may imagine I am far from desiring you yesterday? the death of so worthy and pious a man; yet I turbed in my thoughts for these two or three days
Clar. Really, Sir, I have been so much dismust own, at this time, I could wish you were in past, that I'have not been able to look at any orders, as you might then perform the ceremony of my daughter's marriage; which would give me
thing a secret satisfaction.
Lion. I am sorry to hear that, Madam ; I hope Lion. No doubt, Sir, any office in my power,
there was nothing particular to disturb you. The that could be instrumental to the happiness of care Sir John takes to dispose of your hand in a any in your family, I should perforin with plea
manner suitable to your birth and fortune
Clar. I don't know, Sir;-I own I am disturbed; Sir J. Why really, Lionel, from the character I own I am uneasy; there is something weighs of her intended husband, I have no room to doubt upon my heart, which I would fain disclose. but this match will make Clarissa perfectly hap
Lion. Upon your heart, Madam! did you say py to be sure, the alliance is the most eligible your heart? for both families.
Clar. I did, Sir,--ILion. If the gentleman is sensible of his hap
Enter JENNY. piness in the alliance, Sir.
Jenny. Madam! Madam! here's a coach and Sir J. The fondness of a father is always sus- six driving up the avenue: it's Colonel Oldhoy's perted of partiality: yet I believe I may venture family; and I believe the gentleman is in it, that's w say, that few young women will be found more coming to court you.-Lord, I must run and have unexceptionable than my daughter : her person is a peep at him out of the window. (Exit. agreeable, her temper sweet, her understanding Lion. Madam, I'll take my leave. good; and with the obligations she has to your Clar. Why so, Sir !--Bless me, Mr. Lione , instruction
what's the matter ?-You turn pale. VOL. II....B
travagant a design, tell him you'll never see him Clar. Pray speak to me, Sir.—You tremble.—again as long as you live. Tell me the cause of this sudden change.--How Diana. Must I tell him so ? are you ?- Where's your disorder ?
Ah! pr’ythee spare me dearest creature ! Lion. Oh fortune! fortune!
How can you prompt me to so much ill nature ? You ask me in vain,
me, Of what ills I complain,
Should I hear him implore me; Where harbours the torment I find;
Could I accuse him,
Could I refuse him
The boon he should ask ?
Let not a lover the cruel task!
No, believe me, my dear,
Was he now standing here,
In spite of my frights and alarms,
I might rate him, might scold him.
But should still strive to hold him-
(Erit. Turns poison, and feeds the disease. (Exit.
Clar. How easy to direct the conduct of others, Enter Diana.
how hard to regulate our own! I can give my Diana. My dear Clarissa—I'm glad I have friend advice, while I am conscious of the same found you alone. -For Heaven's sake, don't let indiscretions in myself. Yet is it criminal to know any one break in upon us ;-and give me leave to the most worthy, most amiable man in the world, sit down with you a little :- I am in such a tre- and not to be insensible to his merit? But my mor, such a panic
father, the kindest, best of fathers, will he approve Clar. Mercy on us, what has happened ? the choice I have made ? Nay, has he not inade Diana. You may remember I told you, that another choice for me? And, after all, how can when I was last winter in London, I was followed I be sure that the man I love, loves me again ? by an odious fellow, one Harman; I can't say but He never told me so; but his looks, his actions, the wretch pleased me, though he is but a younger his present anxiety, sufficiently declare what his brother, and not worth sixpence: and-in short, delicacy, his generosity, will not suffer him to utwhen I was leaving town, I promised to correspond ter.with him.
Ye gloomy thoughts, ye fears perverse, Clar. Do you think that was prudent ?
Like sullen vapours all disperse, Diana. Madness! But this is not the worst;
And scatter in the wind; for what do you think, the creature had the assurance to write to me about three weeks ago, de
Delusive phantoms, brood of night, siring permission to come down and spend the
No more my sickly fancy fright, summer at my father's.
No more my reason blind; Clar. At your father's !
'Tis done; I feel my soul releas'd; Diana. Ay, who never saw him, knows nothing The visions fly, the mists are chas'd, of him, and would as soon consent to my marrying Nor leave a cloud behind.
[Erit a horse-jockey. He told me a long story of some tale he intended to invent to make my father re- SCENE III.-A side riew of Sir John ceive him as an indifferent person; and some gen
FLOWERDALE's House. tleman in London, he said, would procure him a
Enter HARMAN with COLONEL OLDBOY. letter that should give it a face; and he longed to see me so, he said, he could not live without it; Col. O. Well, and how does my old friend Dick and if he could be permitted but to spend a week Rantum do? I have not seen him these twelve with me
years : he was an honest worthy fellow as ever Clar. Well, and what answer did you make ? breathed; I remember he kept a girl in London,
Diana. Oh! abused him, and refused to listen and was cursedly plagued by his wife's relations. to any such thing-But-I vow I tremble while I Har. Sir Richard was always a man of spirit, tell
' it to you—just before we left our house, the colonel. impudent monster arrived there, attended by a Col. O. But as to this business of yours, which couple of servants, and is now actually coming he tells me of in his letter-I don't see much in it here with my father.
-An affair with a citizen's daughter-pinked her Clar. Upon my word this is a dreadful thing. brother in a duel - Is the fellow likely to die?
Diana. Dreadful, my dear !—I happened to be Har. Why, Sir, we hope not; but as the matat the window as he came into the court, and I ter is dubious, and will probably make some noise, declare I had like to have fainted away.
I thought it was better to be for a little time out Clar. Well, Diana, with regard to your affair of the way; when hearing my case, Sir Richard - I think you must find some method of imme- Rantum mentioned you; he said he was sure you diately informing this gentleman that you consider would permit me to remain at your house for a the outrage he has committed against you in the few days, and offered me a recommendation. must heinous light, and insist upon his going Col. O. And there's likely to be a brat in the away directly
- And the girl's friends are in business-I'll Diana. Why, I believe that will be the best tell you what will be the consequence then – They way—but then he'll be begging my pardon, and will be for going to law with you for a mainteasking to stay.
nance--but no matter, I'll take the affair in hand Clar. Why then you must tell him positively for you--make me your solicitor; and, if you are you wont consent to it; and if he persist in so ex- obliged to pay for a single spoonful of pap, I'll be