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youth, is not for me; and he, that is less than D. Pedro. And when please you to say so? a man, I am not for him: Therefore I will even Hero. When I like your favour ; for God dea take sixpence in earnest of the bear-herd, and fend, the lute should be like the case ! lead his apes into hell.
D. Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; withLeon. Well then, go you into hell?
in the house is Jove. Beat. No; but to the gate ; and there will Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'd. 15 the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with D. Pedro. Speak low, if you speak love. horns on his head, and say, Get you to heaven,
[Takes her aside. 1 Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for Bene. Well, I would you did like me. you maids : so deliver I up my apes, and away Marg. So would not 1, for your own sake; to Saint Peter for the heavens : he shows me for I have many ill qualities. where the bachelors sit, and there live we as Bene. Which is one? merry as the day is long.
Marg. I say my prayers aloud. Ant. Well, niece, [To Hero.] I trust you Bene. I love you the better ; the hearers may will be ruled by your father.
Beat. Yes, faith ; 'tis my cousin's duty to Marg. God match me with a good dancer! make courtesy, and say, Father, as it please you : Balth. Amen. - but yet for all that, cousin, let him be a hand Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, some fellow, or else make another courtesy, and when the dance is done ! - Answer, clerk. say, Father, as it please me.
Balth. No more words; the clerk is answered. Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day Urs. I know you well enough ; you are sigfitted with a husband.
nior Antonio. Beat. Not till God make men of some other Ant. At a word, I am not. metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman Urs. I know you by the waggling of your head. to be over-mastered with a piece of valiant dust? Ant. To tell you true, I counterfeit him. to make an account of her life to a clod of way Urs. You could never do him so ill-well, unward marl ? No, uncle, I'll none : Adam's sons less you were the very man : Here's his dry are my brethren ; and truly, I hold it a sin to hand up and down; you are he, you are he. match in my kindred.
Ant. At a word, I am not. Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you: Urs. Come, come; do you think I do not if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue know your answer.
hide itself ? Go to, mum, you are he: graces Beat. The fault will be in the musick, cousin, will appear, and there's an end. if you be not woo'd in good time: if the prince Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so ? be too important, tell him, there is measure in Bene. No, you shall pardon me. every thing, and so dance out the answer. For Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are? hear me, Hero; Wooing, wedding, and repent Bene. Not now. ing, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque Beat. That I was disdainful,--and that I had pace : the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch my good wit out of the Hundred merry Tales ;jig, and full as fantastical ; the wedding, man- Well
, this was signior Benedick that said so. nerly-modest, as a measure full of state and an Bene. What's he? cientry; and then comes repentance, and, with Beat. I am sure, you know him well enough. his bad legs, falls into the cinque-pace faster and Bene. Not I, believe me. faster, till he sink into his grave.
Beat. Did he never make you laugh? Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewd Bene. I pray you, what is he? ly.
Beat. Why, he is the prince's jester : a very Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a dull fool ; only his gift is in devising impossible church by day-light.
slanders: none but libertines delight in him; Leon. The revellers are entering ; brother, and the commendation is not in his wit, but in make good room.
his villainy; for he both pleaseth men and angers
them, and then they laugh at him, and beat Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, BENEDICK, Bal-him: I am sure he is in the fleet; I would he
had boarded me. THAZAR; Don JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET, URSULA, and others, masked.
Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell
him what you say, D. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with Beat. Do, do : he'll but break a comparison
or two on me; which, peradventure, not markHero. So you walk softly, and look sweetly, ed, or not laughed at, strikes him into melanand say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and, choly; and then there's a partridge' wing saved, especially, when I walk away.
for the fool will eat no supper that night. [MuD. Pedro. With me in your company? sick within.] We must follow the leaders. Hero. I may say so, when I please.
Bene. In every good thing.
Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave title, because I am merry.-Yea; but so; I am hem at the next turning.
apt to do myself wrong : I am not so reputed: [Dance. Then exeunt all but Don John, it is the base, the bitter disposition of Beatrice, Borachio, and Claudio.
that puts the world into her person, and so D. John. Sure my brother is amorous on He- gives me out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may. ro, and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it: The ladies follow her, and but
Re-enter Don PEDRO, HERO, and LEONATO. one visor remains.
D. Pedro. Now, signior, where's the count? Bora. And that is Claudio: I know him by Did you see him? his bearing
Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part D. John. Are not you signior Benedick? of lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy Claud. You know me well; I am he. as a lodge in a warren ; I told him, and, I think,
D. John. Signior, you are very near my bro- I told him true, that your grace had got the ther in his love: he is enamoured on Hero; I good will of this young lady; and I offered him pray you, dissuade him from her, she is no equal my company to a willow tree, either to make for his birth : you may do the part of an honest him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him man in it.
up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped. Claud. How know you he loves her ?
D. Pedro. To be whipped ! What's his fault? D. John. I heard him swear his affection. Bene. The flat transgression of a school-boy ;
Bora. So did I too; and he swore he would who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest, marry her to-night.
shows it his companion, and he steals it. D. John. Come, let us to the banquet.
D. Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a trans[Ereunt Don John and Borachio. gression? The transgression is in the stealer. Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick, Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had But hear these ill news with the ears of Clau- been made, and the garland too ; for the gardio.
land he might have worn himself; and the rod 'Tis certain so ;-the prince wooes for himself. he might have bestow'd on you, who, as I take Friendship is constant in all other things, it, have stolen his bird's nest. Save in the office and affairs of love :
D. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and Therefore, all hearts in love use their own restore them to the owner. tongues ;
Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by Let every eye negotiate for itself,
my faith, you say honestly. And trust no agent: for beauty is a witch, D. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. to you ; the gentleman, that danced with her, This is an accident of hourly proof,
told her, she is much wronged by you. Which I mistrusted not: Farewell, therefore, Bene. O, she misused me past the endurance Hero!
of a block; an oak, but with one green leaf ou
it, would have answered her ; my very visor beRe-enter BENEDICK.
gan to assume life, and scold with her : She told Bene. Count Claudio ?
me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was Claud. Yea, the same.
the prince's jester ; that I was duller than a great Bene. Come, will you go with me?
thaw; huddling jest upon jest, with such imClaud. Whither?
possible conveyance, upon me, that I stood like Bene. Even to the next willow, about your a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at own business, count. What fashion will you me: She speaks poniards, and every word stabs: wear the garland of? About your neck, like an if her breath were as terrible as her terminausurer's chain? or under your arm, like a lieu- tions, there were no living near her, she would tenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for infect to the north star. I would not marry the prince hath got your Hero.
her, though she were endowed with all that Claud. I wish him joy of her.
Adam had left him before he transgressed: she Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest dro- would have male Hercules have turned spit ; ver; so they sell bullocks. But did you think yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. the prince would have served you thus ? Come, talk not of her; you shall find her the Claud. I pray you, leave me.
infernal Até in good apparel. I would to God, Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man; some scholar would conjure her; for, certainly, twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll while she is here, a man may live as quiet in
hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. purpose, because they would go thither; so, in
[Erit deed, all disquict, horror, and perturbation folBene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he low her. ereep into sedges.-But, that my lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The
Re-enter Claudio and BEATRICE. prince's fool !-Ha! it may be, I go under that D. Pedro. Look, here she comes.
beat the post.
Bene. Will your grace command me any ser D. Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. vice to the world's end? I will go on the slight Beat. I would rather have one of your .. est errand now to the Antipodes, that you can ther's getting: Hath your grace ne'er a brother devise to send me on ; I will fetch you a tooth- like you? Your father got excellent husbands, picker now from the farthest inch of Asia ; bring if a maid could come by them. you the length of Prester John's foot ; fetch you D. Pedro. Will you have me, lady? á hair off the great Cham's beard ; do you any Beat. No, my lord, unless I might have an embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three other for working-days; your grace is too costly words' conference with this harpy: You have no to wear every day :-But, I beseech your grace, employment for me?
pardon me; I was born to speak all mirth, and D. Pedro. None, but to desire your good no matter. company,
D. Pedro. Your silence most offends me, and Bene. O God, sir, here's a dish I love not; I to be merry best becomes you ; for, out of quescannot endure my lady Tongue. [Erit. tion, you were born in a merry hour.
D. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have lost Beat. No, sure, my lord, my mother cry'd; the heart of signior Benedick.
but then there was a star danced, and under Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while; that was I born.—Cousins, God give you joy! and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his Leon. Niece, will you look to those things I single one: marry, once before, he won it of me told you of? with false dice, therefore your grace may well Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.- By your say, I have lost it.
[Exit Beatrice. D. Pedro. You have put him down, lady, D. Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spirited you have put him down.
lady. Beat. So I would not he should do me, my Leon. There's little of the melancholy elelord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I ment in her, my lord: she is never sad, but have brought count Claudio, whom you sent me when she sleeps; and not ever sad then ; for I to seek.
have heard my daughter say, she hath often D. Pedro. Why, how now, count? wherefore dreamed of unhappiness, and waked herself with are you sad?
laughing. Claud. Not sad, my lord.
D. Pedro. She cannot endure to hear tell of D. Pedro. How then ? Sick?
a husband. Claud. Neither, my lord.
Leon. O, by no means; she mocks all her Beat. The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor wooers out of suit. merry, nor well: but civil, count; civil as an D. Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Beorange, and something of that jealous complexion. nedick.
D. Pedro. l'faith, lady, I think your blazon Leon. O lord, my lord, if they were but a to be true; though, i'll be sworn, if he be so, week married, they would talk themselves mad. his conceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have wooed D. Pedro. Count Claudio, when mean you to in thy name, and fair Hero is won; I have broke go to church? with her father, and his good will obtained : Claud. To-morrow, my lord: Time goes on name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy ! crutches, till love have all his rites.
Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and Leon. Not till Monday, my dear son, which with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the is hence a just seven-night; and a time too brief match, and all grace say Amen to it!
too, to have all things answer my mind. Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cue.
D. Pedro. Come, you shake the head at sø Claud. Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: long a breathing ; but, I warrant thee, Claudio
, I were but little happy, if I could say how much the time shall not go dully by us ; I will, in the -Lady, as you are mine, I am yours : I give interim, undertake one of Hercules' labours ; away myselť for you, and dote upon the ex- which is, to bring signior Benedick and the lady change.
Beatrice into a mountain of affection, the one Beat. Speak, cousin; or, if you cannot, stop with the other. I would fain have it a match; his mouth with a kiss, and let him not speak, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you
will but minister such assistance as I shall give D. Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry you direction. heart.
Leon. My lord, I am for you, though it cost Beat. Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it me ten nights' watchings. keeps on the windy side of care : My cousin Claud. And I, my lord. tells him in his ear, that he is in her heart. D. Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero? Claud. And so she doth, cousin.
Hero. I will do any modest office, my lord, to Beat. Good lord, for alliance !—Thus goes help my cousin to a good husband. every one to the world but I, and I am sun D. Pedro. And Benedick is not the unhope. burned ; I may sit in a corner, and cry, heigh fullest husband that I know : thus far can ho! for a busband.
praise him ; he is of a noble strain, of approved
valour, and confirmed honesty. I will teach shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's disyou how to humour your cousin, that she shall loyalty, that jealousy shall be call’d assurance, fall in love with Benedick :--and I, with your and all the preparation overthrown. two helps, will so practise on Benedick, that, in D. John. Grow this to what adverse issue it despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, can, I will put it in practice: Be cunning in the he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can working this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats. do this, Cupid is no longer an archer ; his glory Bora. Be you constant in the accusation, and shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go my cunning shall not shame me. in with me, and I will tell you my drift. D. John. I will presently go learn their day [Exeunt. of marriage.
SCENE II.-Another room in Leonato's house.
SCENE III.-Leonato's garden.
Enter BENEDICK and a boy.
Bene. Boy, marry the daughter of Leonato.
Boy. Signior. Bora. Yea, my lord; but I can cross it.
Bene. In my chamber-window lies a book ; D. John. Any bar, any cross, any impediment bring it hither to me in the orchard. will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displea
Boy. I am here already, sir. sure to him; and whatsoever comes athwart his
Bene. I know that ;-but I would have thee affection, ranges evenly with mine. How canst hence, and here again. [Exit Boy.]—I do much thou cross this marriage ?
wonder, that one man, seeing how much another Bora. Not honestly, my lord ; but so covertly, man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviours that no dishonesty shall appear in me.
to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shalD. Jokn. Show me briefly how.
low follies in others, become the argument of Bora. I think, I told your lordship, a year his own scorn, by falling in love: And such a since, how much I am in the favour of Marga- man is Claudio. I have known, when there was ret, the waiting-gentlewoman to Hero.
no musick with him but the drum and fife; and D. John. I remember.
now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe : Bora. I can, at any unseasonable instant of I have known, when he would have walked ten the night, appoint her to look out at her lady's mile a-foot, to see a good armour ; and now will chamber-window.
he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a D. John. What life is in that to be the death
new doublet. He was wont to speak plain, and of this marriage ?
to the purpose, like an honest man, and a solBora. The poison of that lies in you to tem- dier ; and now is he turn’d orthographer ; his per. Go you to the prince your brother; spare words are a very fantastical banquet, just so not to tell him, that he hath wronged his honour many strange dishes. May I be so converted, in marrying the renowned Claudio (whose estic and see with these eyes? I cannot tell ; I think mation do you mightily hold up) to a contami- not: I will not be sworn, but love may transnated stale, such a one as Hero.
form me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on D. John. What proof shall I make of that?
it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall Bora. Proof enough to misuse the prince, to
never make me such a fool. One woman is fair ; vex Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato: yet I am well: another is wise; yet I am well: Look you for any other issue?
another virtuous; yet I am well: but till all D. John. Only to despite them, I will endea- graces be in one woman, one woman shall not your any thing. Bora. Go then, find me a meet hour to draw certain ; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll ne
come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's Don Pedro and the count Claudio, alone: tell
ver cheapen her ; fair, or I'll never look on her; them, that you know that Hero loves me; in- mild, or come not near me ; noble, or not I for tend a kind of zeal both to the prince and Clau
an angel ; of good discourse, an excellent musidio, as—in love of your brother's honour, who cian, and her hair shall be of what colour it hath made this match; and his friend's reputa- please God.—Ha! the prince and monsieur Love! tion, who is thus like to be cozened with the I will hide me in the arbour. [Withdraws. semblance of a maid,—that you have discovered thus. They will scarcely believe this without
Enter Don Pedro, LEONATO, and CLAUDIO, trial: offer them instances; which shall bear no less likelihood, than to see me at her chamber D. Pedro. Come, shall we hear this musick ? window ; hear me call Margaret, Hero; hear Claud. Yea, my good lord :-How still the Margaret term me, Borachio ; and bring them evening is, to see this, the very night before the intended As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony ! wedding : for, in the mean time, I will so fashion D. Pedro. See you where Benedick hath bid thie matter, that Hero shall be absent; and there himself?
Claud. O, very well, my lord: the musick D. Pedro. Yea, marry; [To Claudio. 3– ended,
Dost thou hear, Balthazar? I pray thee, get We'll fit the kid fox with a penny-worth. us some excellent musick; for to-morrow night
we would have it at the lady Hero's chamber. Enter BALTHAZAR, with musick.
window. D. Pedro. Come, Balthazar, we'll hear that Balth. The best I can, my lord. song again.
D. Pedro. Do so: farewell. [Exeunt BalthaBalth. O good my lord, tax not so bad a zar and musick.] Come hither, Leonato: What voice
was it you told me of to-day? that your niece To slander musick any more than once. Beatrice was in love with signior Benedick?
D. Pedro. It is the witness still of excellency, Claud. O, ay :-Stalk on, stalk on; the fowl To put a strange face on his own perfection : sits. [Aside to Pedro.] I did never think that I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more. lady would have loved
any man. Balth. Because you talk of wooing, I will Leon. No, nor I neither ; but most wonders sing;
ful, that she should so dote on signior Benedick, Since many a wooer doth commence his suit whom she hath in all outward behaviours seemed To her he thinks not worthy ; yet he wooes ; ever to abhor. Yet will he swear, he loves.
Bene. Is't possible? Sits the wind in that D. Pedro. Nay, pray thee, come:
[ Aside. Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument,
Leon. By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell Do it in notes.
what to think of it ; but that she loves him Balth. Note this before.my notes,
with an enraged affection,-it is past the infinite There's not a note of mine, that's worth the of thought. noting.
D. Pedro. May be, she doth but counterfeit. D. Pedro. Why these are very crotchets, that Claud. 'Faith, like enough. he speaks ;
Leon. O God! counterfeit! There never was Note, notes, forsooth, and noting ! .[Musick. counterfeit of passion came so near the life of
Bene. Now, Divine air ! now is his soul ra- passion, as she discovers it. vished !-Is it not strange, that sheeps' guts D. Pedro. Why, what effects of passion shows should hale souls out of men's bodies ? --Well, she? a horn for my money, when all's done.
Claud. Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.
[Aside. BALTHAZAR sings.
Leon. What effects, my lord! She will sit
You heard my daughter tell you how.
Claud. She did, indeed.
D. Pedro. How, how, I pray you? You amaze
me: I would have thought her spirit had been To one thing constant never :
invincible against all assaults of affection. Then sigh not so,
Leon. I would have sworn it had, my lord; But let them go,
especially against Benedick. And be you blyth and bonny ; Bene. [Aside.] I should think this a gull
, Converting all your sounds of woe
but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it: Into, Hey nonny, nonny.
knavery cannot, sure, hide itself in such reveII.
Claud. He hath ta’en the infection ; hold it up.
[Aside. Sing no more ditties, sing no mo
D. Pedro. Hath she made her affection known Of dumps so dull and heavy ;
to Benedick? The fraud of men was ever so,
Leon. No; and swears she never will: that's Since summer first was leavy.
her torment. Then sigh not so, &c.
Claud. 'Tis true, indeed; so your daughter
says: Shall I, says she, that have so oft encounD. Pedro. By my troth, a good song. tered him with scorn, write to him, that I love Balth. And an ill singer, my
him ? D. Pedro. Ha? no; no, faith ; thou singest Leon. This says she now, when she is beginwell enough for a shift.
ning to write to him : for she'll be up twenty Bene. ČAside.] An he had been a dog, that times a night; and there will she sit in her should have howled thus, they would have smock, till she have writ a sheet of paper :-my hanged him: and, I pray God, his bad voice daughter tells us all. bode no mischief! I had as lief have heard the Claud. Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I renight-raven, come what plague could have come member a pretty jest your daughter told us of. after it.
Leon. 0 When she had writ it, and was