widows. No; if at all at their ease, they are more at their ease than others; and infinitely more courted, (particularly if they have not made their wills,) than the best wife and mother on earth. The cares of the world press light upon them; they have no anxiety about the health, character, or fortune of a tribe of children, the humour in which a husband may come home, or the continuance of their empire over his affections; they have nobody's taste to consult, overcome, or defer to; nor that sad source of altercation, the questions how they shall pass the summer in the country -or how live, or dress, or amuse themselves in town. From all this they are delivered. If they are sick, a cloud of nephews and nieces present themselves hourly at their doors, to inquire after their health; if well, the said nephews and nieces all rejoice. Meantime they generally have some decent old maid like themselves, half companion, half servant, always at their call at home, on whom they may vent all their little vexations, so as to appear in ever-smiling good-humour abroad.

You describe them so well, (I think I hear the reader say,) that you must certainly be one of the tribe yourself!

Of that, dear reader, I cannot satisfy thee; only if I am, I hope it is one of the happy sort I have been describing for the blessings I have set before thee are not to be purchased without price. There is a requisite for this perfect enjoyment, not easily obtained, and often when supposed to be obtained, vibrating in a doubtfu! state between hope and fear; nay sometimes, after being apparently within our grasp, thrown voluntarily away, as it should seem from very wantonness. Yet this requisite is very simple, with all its difficulties. It is merely and solely, that the old maid should have fairly, soberly, deliberately, and bonâ fide, given the matter up. It is inconceivable, from not understanding this, to how many misrepresentations, and ignorant calumnies, the poor old maid is subject. For observe, I talk of a real, pure, and unsophisticated old maid: none of your doubtful characters, who are still hesitating and hankering, and put out

VOL. I.

S

of their straight line, by every chance attention they meet with whom one squeeze of the hand, (unexpected as it may be,) is sure to demolish a six months' resolution. Woe to all such for their happiness is not arrived, and they drag on a miserable, uncertain, between hawk and buzzard existence, which subjects them like the poor bat in the fable, that was neither bird nor beast, to a thousand affronts. But once fairly fixed in a determinate capacity, with a good well-engraved Mrs. on their cards, their independence continues for the rest of their lives, and their happiness is complete!

But there is no rule, no operation of nature, by which the change may be both effected and discovered? When a horse is aged, it is known by his teeth; a cow by her horns; birds moult their feathers, and snakes cast their skins at given times. Surely if Buffon had considered this matter. . .

I tell you, Madam, there is no criterion!-I have studied the subject, and you may rest assured there is nothing so indeterminate. It is in fact inconceivable how the signs vary and fluctuate, and fade, and glimmer again -how differently, in point of time, the different species of this extraordinary animal exhibit the decisive marks of their crisis. In some auspicious subjects, I have known it to take place at forty, and they have continued ever afterwards to a happy old age, in constant respectability and good humour. In others the symptoms have appeared and disappeared, and varied, so as to puzzle the most sagacious observer, from forty to sixty. And I have even known the phenomena fluctuate in some instances till near seventy, before the commotion has thoroughly subsided.

Now, whether in Miss Carysfort's instance these phænomena had been protracted in an unusual degree; that is, whether at sixty, rebellion still continued; in other words, whether she had not given the matter up; or whether the devil has any share in colouring our tempers at our births; it is certain that long before any of the symptoms I have been describing began to appear, I may say even in her youth, this lady was remarkable for

that superiority of prudence and good conduct, which could never endure anything in others that was less correct than her own standard. It was hence that, when either public or private misfortunes were most frequent, she was most abroad! and during a state of doubt as to the reputation of any of her friends, so eager was she to clear the innocence of the unhappy parties by all proper inquiries and communications, that it was observed her carriage and horses never had so little rest as upon such

occasions.

Such was the correct and amiable being to whom, in the absence of other amusement, Miss Lyttleton directed the important request, to enliven them with a little scandal.

It was in vain the good Lady Bellenden protested against the effects of such a mode of enlivening, directed to such a source. "Why, my dear madam," replied Miss Lyttleton, "what can we possibly do? Lady Gertrude there, though she is your daughter, and I am your guest, does not think me fit to speak to; and Mrs. Neville never talks till the gentlemen come up; or if she does, about nothing but laces, which I don't understand; or what she is doing in Lancashire, which I don't care a whistle about."

Both the exclusives turned their heads round at this, and exchanged smiles, and Mrs. Neville shrugged up her shoulders; but both remained otherwise unmoved.

"You have a companion near you," said Lady Bellenden, looking at Georgina, "who perhaps might enliven you, were you to try."

"Oh dear no; I am told she is very accomplished, which I am not and besides is a great deal too good: for she would not let me abuse that wretch Tremaine just now; and when I asked her whether she did not like talking of the fellows, she said no! which I believe was a great lie; and therefore I say again, Miss Carysfort, do give us a little scandal."

CHAPTER XLVII.

A STORY.

A very honest woman, but something given to lie, which
Woman should not do, but in the way of honesty.

SHAKSPEARE.

MISS CARYSFORT protested with an assumed laugh, that she did not know why she applied to her for scandal, as she made it a rule never to talk of anything till she had ascertained its truth; and that while so many unhappy things were passing in the world, there was no occasion, she thought, for what was called scandal.

Lady Bellenden asked with some interest whether she alluded to anything particular; in which the good Countess verified a remark that has sometimes been made, that so prone are even the best and wisest natures to busy themselves with the history of other peopie, that they listen to the relation in spite of even predetermined caution against the relater. Had Lady Bellenden for a single moment recollected her own opinions of Miss Carysfort,-whom, from her sense of the dangerous character of a mere gossip, much more of an ill-natured one, she never treated as of any authority,-she would not have given opportunity to her tongue, by the question. But the question was out, and necessarily answered.

"I am unwilling to say anything," said Miss Carysfort, even though all the world is full of it, that concerns so near a friend of Miss Lyttleton's as Mrs. C

"Dear me, what of her?" asked Miss Lyttleton; "why I had a letter from her this morning."

The intimation of Miss Carysfort roused the attention of all the ladies, and among them of Mrs. Neville herself, who was also particularly acquainted with Mrs. C————— ; a sort of friendship, or rather civil intercourse, existing between them; and she actually turned from the fair Gertrude to listen. But the fair Gertrude retained all

her sang froid, and appeared totally unmoved about a person, whom she had met indeed in society, but not in that society where alone she thought it of consequence to meet any body.

"You amaze me," cried Miss Lyttleton; "do pray say what has happened?"

"Only what happens too often," replied Miss Carysfort, "in other families besides Mrs. C's ; a discovery which has already ended in a separation, and must in a divorce!"

66

Nay, that's quite impossible," said Miss Lyttleton, "for her letter of this morning is dated from Dalemain, where Mr. C▬▬ is at home with her."

"I wish it may be so," replied Miss Carysfort.

Lady Bellenden immediately pronounced that the proof was demonstrative, and that Miss Carysfort must have been misinformed.

"I seldom am," returned that lady, "and at any rate have had the story with so many particulars, there must be something in it."

"Oh! do pray let us have it," cried Lyttleton--“ for as I am sure it is all a wicked lie, it will be such fun to tell it again to Mrs. C

"Had we not better drop it?" said Lady Bellenden. "Oh! not for the world," exclaimed Miss Lyttleton"do pray go on."

Miss Carysfort, however, rather drew back, till all the ladies requesting to hear the report, and all adding they should entirely disbelieve it, she upon that condition (which she said would render it perfectly harmless) related her news, with all its accompanying circumstances. It was a round unvarnished tale, amounting to neither more nor less than this-that Mr. C having returned unexpectedly in the night from Newmarket, where it was supposed he was to have remained some days-went softly to his chamber: that to his astonishment he found on his own chair a leathern pair of those parts of dress which delicacy, or indelicacy (I know not which) always forbids us to name, and which properly belong to the male sex; that alarmed at this, he looked farther, and