Dim. Well, mark the end of it. Sir Charles, I know, is gay and good-humoured; but he can't bear the least contradiction, no, not in the merest trifle.

Drug. Hold your tongue.

Dim. Yes, sir, I have done; and yet there is in the composition of Sir Charles a certain humour, which, like the flying gout, gives no disturbance to the family, till it settles in the head -: when once it fixes there, mercy on every body about him! But here he comes. (exit.)

Enter Sir Charles.

Sir C. My dear sir, I kiss your hand. But why stand on ceremony?1) To find you up at this late hour mortifies me beyond expression.

Drug. 'Tis but once in a way 2), Sir Charles.

Sir C. My obligations to you are inexpressible; you have given me the most amiable of girls; our tempers accord like unisons in music. Drug. Ah! that's what makes me happy in my old days; my children and my garden are all my care.

Sir C. And my friend Lovelace he is to have our sister Nancy, I find.

Drug. Why, my wife is so minded.

Sir C. O, by all means, let her be made happy. A very pretty fellow Lovelace; as to that Mr. Woodley, I think you call him he is Nobody knows him;

-

but a plain, underbred3), ill-fashioned, sort of a

he is not one of us. Oh, by all means marry her to one of us. Drug. I believe it must be so. Would you take any refreshment? Sir C. Nothing in nature it is time to retire to rest. Drug. Well, well, good night, Sir Charles. Ha! here comes my daughter. Good night, Sir Charles.

Sir C. Bon repos.

Enter Lady Rackett.

Lady R. Dear sir! I did not expect to see you up so late. Drug. My Lady Rackett, I am glad to hear how happy you are: I won't detain you now. There's your good man waiting for you; good night, my girl.

(exit.)

Sir C. I must humour this old put1), in order to be remembered in his will.

Lady R. O, la! I am quite fatigued. I can hardly move. Why don't you help me, you barbarous man?

Sir C. There, take my arm.

Lady R. But I won't be laughed at. (looking tenderly at him.) I don't love you.

Sir C. Don't you?

Lady R. No. Dear me! this glove! why don't you help me off with my glove? Pshaw! you awkward thing), let it alone; you an't fit to be about my person. I might as well not be married, for any use) you are of. Reach me a chair. You have no compassion for me. so glad to sit down. Why do you drag me to routs? You know I hate them.

I am

1) To stand on ceremony, Umstände machen. 2) Once in a way, es kommt ja nicht oft. 3) Unebenbürtig. 4) Put, Thor, Narr. 5) Ungeschickter Mensch. 6) For any use &c., was du mir nüßen kannst.

Sir C. Oh there is no existing, no breathing, unless one does as other people of fashion do.

Lady R. But I am out of humour 1): I lost all my money.

Sir C. How much?

Lady R. Three hundred.

Sir C. Never fret for that. I don't value three hundred pounds to contribute to your happiness.

Lady R. Don't you?

not value three hundred pounds to please me?

Sir C. You know, I don't. Lady R. Ah! you fond fool! morphoses a woman into a fury. myself several times to-night? I my tongue.

Sir C. Had ye?

But I hate gaming: it almost metaDo you know that I was frighted at had an huge oath at the very tip of

Lady R. I caught myself at it; but I bit my lips, and so I did not disgrace 2) myself. And then I was crammed up in a corner of the room, with such a strange party at a whist - table, looking at black and red spots: did you mind them?

Sir C. You know I was busy elsewhere.

Lady R. There was that strange, unaccountable woman, Mrs. Nightshade: she behaved so fretfully to her husband, a poor, inoffensive, goodnatured, good sort of a good-for-nothing kind of man: but she so teized him. «How could you play that card? Ah, you've a head, and so has a pin 3) You're a numskull, you know you are ma'am, he has the poorest head in the world, he does not know what he is about; you know you don't. Oh, fye! I'm ashamed of you!»

Sir C. She has served to divert you, I see.

Oh! if

Lady R. And to crown all, there was my lady Clackit, who runs on 4) with an eternal 'larum about nothing, out of all season, time and place In the very midst of the game 5) she begins, «Lard, ma'am, I was apprehensive I should not be able to wait on your la'ship; my poor little dog, Pompey the sweetest thing in the world, a spade led! there's the knave I was fetching a walk, me'm, the other morning in the Park; a fine frosty morning it was; I love frosty weather of all things. Let me look at the last trick and so, m'em, little Pompey your la'ship was to see the dear creature pinched with the frost, and mincing his steps along the Mall), with his pretty innocent face I don't know what to play And so, me'm, while I was talking to captain Flimsey Your la'ship knows captain Flimsey Nothing but rubbish 7) in my hand I can't help it) And so, me'm, five odious frights of dogs beset my poor little Pompey the dear creature has the heart of a lion, but who can resist five at once? And so Pompey barked for assistance? The hurt he received was upon his chest 9): the doctor would not advise him to venture out till the wound is healed, for fear of an inflammation Pray, what's trumps?»>

I vow

1) Out of humour, verdrießlich. 2) To disgrace, in Unglück bringen (nämlich durch die Sünde des Fluchens oder Schwörens). 3) So has à pin, so Einen hat auch eine Stecknadel. 4) To run on, løsrennen, schwagen. 5) Hier dürfte es angemessen sein, sich noch außer den angegebenen folgende Kartenspielausdrücke zu merken: bedienen, to wait on; Anlage, score; zurücknehmen, to revoke; gute Karten haben, to have a good hand; Forcen haben, to have a strong hand; die Wahrscheinlichkeit, the odds; die 9 muß fallen, it is odds but the 9 falls. In einigen Hazardspielen kommen vor: the punter; der Seger; hockley, die aufgelegte Karte (im Pharospiel); cock, ein Kniff (Ohr). 6) Mall, Mäll, Straße in London. 7) Schlechte Karten. 8) Dieser Ausdruck ist eine Antwort auf den fra genden Blick ihrer Mitspielerin: «Ich kann nicht anders.» 9) Chest, Brusthöhlung. II. Vierte Auflage.

18

Sir C. My dear, you'd make a most excellent actress.

Lady R. Why don't you hand me up stairs? Oh! I am so tired: let us go to rest.

Sir C. (assisting her.) You complain, and yet raking 1) is the delight of your little heart.

Lady R. (leaning on him as he walks away.) It is you that make a rake 2) of me. Oh, Sir Charles, how shockingly you played that last rubber, when I stood looking over you!

Sir C. My love, I played the truth of the game3).

Lady R. No, indeed, my dear, you played it wrong. Ah! Sir Charles, you have a head.

Sir C. Po! nonsense! you don't understand it.

Lady R. I beg your pardon: I am allowed to play better than you.
Sir C. All conceit, my dear: I was perfectly right.

Lady R. No such thing, Sir Charles. How can you dispute it? The diamond was the play.

Sir C. Po ridiculous! the club was the card against the world.
Lady R. Oh, no, no, no; I say it was the diamond.

Sir C. Zounds! madam, I say it was the club.

Lady R. What do you fly into such a passion for?

Sir C. Death and fury! do you think I don't know what I am about? I tell you once more, the club was the judgement) of it. Lady R. May be so. Have it your own way), sir.

(walks about and sings.)

Sir C. Vexation! you're the strangest woman that ever lived; there's no conversing with you. Look'ye here, my Lady Rackett: it is the clearest case in the world; I'll make it plain to you in a moment. Lady R. Very well, sir. To be sure you must be right. (with a sneering laugh.) Sir C. Listen to me, Lady Rackett: I had four cards. Trumps were out. The lead) was mine. They were 7) six no, no, no, they were seven, and we nine; then, you know, the beauty of the play was to Lady R. Well, now it's amazing to me, that you can't perceive: give me leave, Sir Charles. Your left hand 8) adversary had led his last trump, and he had before finessed the club, and roughed the diamond: now if you had led your diamond

Sir C. Zoons! madam, but we played for the odd trick.
Lady R. And sure the play for the odd trick

Sir C. Death and fury! can't you hear me?
Lady R. And must not I be heard, sir?

Sir C. Zoons! hear me, I say. Will you hear me?

Lady R. I never heard the like in my life.

(hums a tune, and walks about fretfully.) Sir C. Why then you are enough to provoke the patience of a Stoic. (looks at her; he walks about and laughs.) Very well, madam; you know no more of the game than your father's leaden 9) Hercules on the top of the house. You know no more of whist than he does of gardening.

Lady R. Go on 10) your own way, sir.

(takes out a glass, and settles her hair.)

1) Raking, Schwärmen. 2) Rake, Schwärmerin, Wüstling. 3) truth of the game, Spielraison. 4) Judgement, Spielraison. 5) Have it your own way, habe meinetwegen Recht. 6) Lead, Anspielen. 7) They were, jene hatten an gelegt, oder standen auf 6. 8) (121). 9) Leaden, bleiern. 10) Go on, fahre fort.

Sir C. Why then, by all that's odious, you are the most perverse, obstinate, ignorant

Lady R. Polite language, sir!

Sir C. You are, madam, the most perverse, the most obstinate

are a vile) woman!

Lady R. I am obliged to you, sir.

Sir C. You are a vile woman, I tell you so, and I will never sleep another night under one roof with you.

Lady R. As you please.

Sir C. Madam, it shall be as I please, I'll order my chariot this moment, (going.) I know how the cards should be played as well as any man in England, that let me tell you. (going.) And when your family were standing behind counters 2), measuring out tape 3), and bartering for Whitechapel needles, my ancestors, my ancestors, madam, were squandering away whole estates at cards; whole estates, my Lady Rackett (she hums a tune, and he looks at her). Why then, by all that's dear to me, I'll never exchange) another word with you, good, bad, or indifferent (goes and turns back). Will you command your temper, and listen to me?

Lady R. Go on, sir.

Sir C. Can't you be cool as I am?

Look'ye, my Lady Rackett:

thus it stood. The trumps being all out, it was then my business

Lady R. To play the diamond, to be sure.

Sir Č. Damnation! I have done with you for ever; for ever, madam,

and so you may tell your father.

Lady R. What a passion the gentleman is in!

Sir C. Will you let me speak?

Lady R. Who hinders you, sir?

Sir C. Once more, then, out of pure good nature

Lady R. Oh! sir, I am convinced of your good nature.

(going.)

Sir C. That, and that only, prevails with me) to tell you, the club was the play.

Lady R. I am prodigiously obliged to you for the information. I am perfectly satisfied, sir.

Sir C. It is the clearest point in the world. Only mind now. We were nine, and

Lady R. And for that reason, the diamond was the play. Your adversary's club was the best in the house.

Sir C. Why then, such another fiend never existed. There is no reasoning with you. It is in vain to say a word. Good sense is thrown away upon you. I now see the malice of your heart. You are a base woman, and I part from you for ever. You may live here with your father, and admire his fantastical evergreens, till you become as fantastical yourself. I'll set out) for London this moment. Your servant, madam (turns and looks at her). The club was not the best in the house.

Lady R. How calm you are! Well, I'll go to bed. Will you repose yourself too. You had better?).

(going.)

Sir C. That ease is so provoking. I desire you will stay and hear Don't think to carry it) in this manner. Madam, I must and will be heard.

me.

1) Vile, nichtswürdig. 2). Counters, Zähltisch. 3) Tape, Zwirnband. 4) Exchange, wechseln. 5) Prevails with me, gewinnt es über mich. 6) To set out, abreisen. 7) You had better, es wäre flüger. 8) To carry it, die Oberhand bes halten, hier auch: es abzumachen.

away.

Lady R. Oh! lud; with that terrible countenance! you frighten me (runs in and shuts the door.) Sir C. (following her.) You shall not fly me thus. Confusion! open the door will you open it? this contempt is beyond enduring (walks away). I intended to have 1) made it clear to her, but now let her continue in her absurdity. She is not worth my notice. My resolution is taken. She has touched my pride, and I now renounce her for ever; yes, for ever; not to return, though she were to request, beseech, and implore, on her very knees. (exit.)

Lady R. (peeping in). Is he gone? (comes forward). Bless me! what have I done? I have carried this too far, I believe. I had better call him back. For the sake of peace I'll give up the point. What does it signify, which was the best of the play? It is not worth quarHow! relling about. here he comes again. I'll give up nothing to him. He shall never get the better of me: I am ruined for life if he does. I will conquer him, and I am resolved he shall see it.

(runs in and shuts the door.)

Sir C. (looking in). No; she won't open it. Headstrong and positive! If she could but command her temper, the thing would be as clear as day-light. She has sense enough, if she would but make use of it. It were pity2) she should be lost (advances towards the door). All owing3) to that perverse spirit of contradiction. I may reclaim her still (peeping through the key-hole). Not so much as a glimpse of her (taps at the door). Lady Rackett Lady Rackett

Lady R. (within). What do you want?

Sir C. (laughing affectedly). Come, you have been very pleasant. Open the door: I cannot help laughing at all this. foolery: have done 1) now, and open the door.

Lady R. (within). Don't be such a torment.
Sir C. Will you open it?

no ho! ho!

Come, no more

Lady R. (laughing). No Sir C. Hell and confusion! what a puppy I make of myself! I'll bear this usage no longer. To be trifled with 5) in this sort by a false, treacherous, (runs to the door and speaks through the keyhole). The diamond was not the play (walks away as fast as he can). I know what I am about (looks back in a violent rage), and the club was not the best in the house.

Act the Second.

Scene 1.

Enter Dimity (laughing violently).

(exit.)

Dim. Oh, I shall die; I shall expire in a fit of laughing). This is the modish couple that were so happy! such a quarrel as they have had; the whole house is in an uproar. Ho! ho! ho! a rare proof of the happiness they enjoy in high life. I shall never hear people of fashion mentioned again, but I shall be ready to crack my sides. They were both ho! ho! This is three weeks after marriage, I think.

Ho!

1) (246). 2) Pity, Schade. 3) Owing, das kommt alles von. 4) Have done, sei fertig, höre auf. 5) To trifle with, verspotten. 6) Fit of laughing, vor Lachen.