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O NOT speak disrespectfully to the waiters, nor apologize to them for making them trouble; it is their business to bring forward the food called for. It is courtesy, however, when asked if you desire a certain article, to reply, "If you please;" "Not any, I thank

you, etc.; when calling for an article,

to say, "Will you please bring me," etc.; and when the article has been furnished, to say, "Thank you."

Never eat very fast.

Never fill the mouth very full.

Never open your mouth when chewing.

Never make noise with the mouth or throat.
Never attempt to talk with the mouth full.
Never leave the table with food in the mouth.
Never soil the table-cloth if it is possible to avoid it.
Never carry away fruits and confectionery from the table.
Never encourage a dog or cat to play with you at the
table.

Never use anything but fork or spoon in feeding yourself.

Never explain at the table why certain foods do not agree with you.

Never introduce disgusting or unpleasant topics for conversa. tion.

Never pick your teeth or put your hand in your mouth while eating.

Never cut bread; always break it, spreading with butter each piece as you eat it.

Never come to the table in your shirt-sleeves, with dirty hands or disheveled hair.

Never express a choice for any particular parts of a dish, unless requested to do so.

Never hesitate to take the last piece of bread or the last cake; there are probably more.

Never call loudly for the wait. er, nor attract attention to yourself by boisterous conduct.

Never hold bones in your fin. gers while you eat from them. Cut the meat with a knife.

Never use your own knife when cutting butter. Always use a knife assigned to that purpose.

FIG. 11.

No. 1. Tips back his chair.

Never, when serving others, overload the plate nor force upon them delicacies which they decline.

Never pour sauce over meat and vegetables when helping others. Place it at one side, on the plate.

Never make a display of finding fault with your food. Very quietly have it changed if you want it different.

Never pass your plate with knife and fork on the same. Remove them, and allow them to rest upon a piece of bread.

Never make a display when removing hair, insects or other disagreeable things from your food. Place them quietly under the edge of your plate.

Never make an effort to clean your plate or the bones you have been eating from too clean; it looks as if you left off hungry.

Never tip back in your chair nor lounge upon the table; neither assume any position that is awkward or ill-bred.

Never, at one's own table or at a dinner-party elsewhere, leave before the rest have finished without asking to be excused. At a hotel or boarding house this rule need not be observed.

Never feel obliged to cut off the kernels with a knife when eating green corn; eaten from the cob, the corn is much the sweetest.

" 2. Eats with his mouth too full.

44

3. Feeds a dog at the table.

4. Holds his knife improperly.

"5. Engages in violent argument at the meal-time.

"6. Lounges upon the table.
"7. Brings a cross child to the table.

Never pare an apple, peach or pear for another at the table without holding it with a fork.

Never wipe your fingers on the table-cloth, nor clean them in your mouth. Use the napkin.

Never allow butter, soup or other food to remain on your whiskers. Use the napkin frequently.

Never wear gloves at the table, unless the hands from some special reason are unfit to be seen.

No. 8. Drinks from the saucer, and laps with

his tongue the last drop from the plate. 9. Comes to the table in his shirt-sleeves, and puts his feet beside his chair. "10. Picks his teeth with his fingers. "11. Scratches her bead and is frequently unnecessarily getting up from the table.

Never eat so much of any one article as to attract attention, as some people do who eat large quantities of butter, sweet cake, cheese or other articles.

Never expectorate at the table; also avoid sneezing or coughing. It is better to arise quietly from the table if you have occasion to do either. A sneeze is prevented by placing the finger firmly on the upper lip.

Never spit out bones, cherry pits, grape skins, etc., upon your plate. Quietly press them from your mouth upon the fork, and lay them upon the side of your plate.

Never allow the conversa. tion at the table to drift into any. thing but chit-chat; the con. sideration of deep and abstruse principles will impair digestion.

Never permit yourself to engage in a heated argument at the table. Neither should you

use gestures, or illustrations made with a knife or fork on the table-cloth. The accompanying engraving (Fig. 11) very forcibly illustrates several faults to which many people are addicted.

Never pass forward to another the dish that has been handed to you, unless requested to do so; it may have been purposely designed for you, and passing it to another may give him or her what is not wanted.

Never put your feet so far under the table as to touch those of the person on the opposite side; neither should you curl them under nor at the side of your chair.

Never praise extravagantly every dish set before you; neither should you appear indifferent. Ary article may have praise.

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ROPERLY conducted, the dinner-party should be a pleasant affair; and if rightly managed, from the beginning to the end, it may prove a very enjoyable occasion to all in attendance, the dinner being from 5 to 8 P. M., the guests continuing at the table from one to two hours.

For a very pleasant social affair the rule is not to have the company when seated exceed twelve in number. With a party of that size the conversation can be general, and all are likely to feel more at ease than if the number be larger, provided a selection of guests is made that are con genial to each other. None of them should be conspicuously superior to the others, and all should be from the same circle of society.

Having determined upon the number of guests to be invited, the next thing in order will be the issuing of notes of invitation, by special messenger, which should be sent out ten or twelve days before the dinner is given. Their form will be

Mr. and Mrs. L-request the pleasure of the com

pany of Mr. and Mrs. Tot dinner on Wednesday, the 10th of March, at six o'clock P. M.

gret that a previous engage ment (or for other reasons which may be given) will prevent their accepting Mr. and Mrs. L's kind invitation for dinner on the 10th of March.

Should the invitation be declined, the declination, which should state the reason for nonacceptance of the invitation, should be sent immediately by a messenger, that the hostess may have an opportunity for inviting other guests in the place of those who decline.

the drawing-room to receive guests as they arrive, each of whom should be welcomed with a warm greeting.

The hostess having determined who shall accompany each other to the table, each gentleman should be informed what lady he is expected to escort. The hour having arrived, the host offers his right arm to the most honored or possibly the eldest lady guest, and the gentleman most distinguished will escort the lady of the house.

Proceeding to the dining-room when all is in readiness, the host will take his seat at the foot of the table, and the hostess at the head, the lady escorted by the host taking her seat at his right, and the escort of the hostess sitting also at her right. The next most honored seat is at the left of the hostess. The illustration (Fig. 12) upon this page shows a com. pany thus seated,

It is fashionable to have cards laid upon the table, bearing the name, sometimes printed very beautifully upon silk, indicating where each guest shall sit, which saves confusion in being seated. The ladies having taken their places, the gentlemen will be seated, and all is in readiness for the dinner to be served, unless grace be said by a clergyman present or by the host.

Let us hope if there is any carving, it will be done before the meat is brought to the table, and the time of the company saved from this some. times slow and tedious work. Should soup be passed, it is well for each one to take it, and also the various courses as they are served, making no special comment on the food.

The evidences of good breeding with a party of ladies and gentlemen seated about a table, who are accustomed to the usages of polite society, are many. Among these will be the fact that the table is very beautifully and artistically spread. This need not require much wealth, but good taste is necessary to set it handsomely. Again, the company evince gentility by each

Should the invitation be ac. cepted, nothing but serious difficulty should prevent the ap. pointment being fulfilled. Should anything happen to prevent attendance, notification should be given the hostess immediately.

It is of the utmost importance that all of the company be punctual, arriving from ten to fifteen minutes before the appointed time. To be ten minutes late, keeping the dinner waiting, is a serious offense which no one should be guilty of.

The host, hostess and other members of the family should be early in

assuming a genteel position while eating. It not necessary that an elaborate toilet be worn at the table, but careful attention should always be given to neatness of personal appearance, however plain may be the dress which is worn.

Another evidence of good manners is the self-possession with which the company deport themselves throughout the meal.

The gentleman will, when a dish is brought, having seen the lady he escorted provided for, help himself and pass it on; he will pay no attention to the other lady near him, but will leave that to her escort. In all cases he will be careful and attentive to the wants of the lady in his charge, ascer taining her wishes and issuing her orders to the waiters.

No polite guest will ever fas. tidiously smell or examine any article of food before tasting it. Such conduct would be an insult to those who have invited him; neither will the host or hostess apologize for the cooking or find fault with each other, the cook or the waiters; all having done the best they could, there is nothing left to do but to make the best of everything that is provided.

Especial pains should be taken by the host and hostess, as well as all the company, to introduce topics of conversa. tion that shall be agreeable and pleasing, that the dinner hour may be in the highest degree entertaining. When all the guests have finished their eating, the hostess, with a slight nod to one of the leading members of the party, will rise, as will all the company, and repair to the drawing-room, where, in social converse, the time should be spent for the next two or three hours. Etiquette demands that each member of the company remain at least an hour after the dinner is finished, it being impolite to hurry away immediately after rising from the table. Should he do so, however, he will ask to be excused.

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HEREWITH is shown a fault common with many people of holding knife and fork above the hand (Fig. 13) when mashing potatoes. cutting meat, etc. The pos..on is not only unfavorable for obtaining a good command of knife and fork, but it is likewise ungraceful. The contrasteoeeing illustration (Fig. 14)

Fig. 13. Incorrect Position for Holding Knife and Fork.

represents an easy, grace. ful posture for hands, when eating. The habit of holding the hands thus in correct positions can be acquired as easily as any other.

It is well to become accustomed to eating with the left hand, so as to avoid the necessity of changing the fork from the left to the right hand frequently when eating meat. When no knife is required for spreading, mashing or cutting, lay it aside entirely and eat only with the fork, holding it with the right hand.

Drinking from the Teacup.

Formerly it was the fashion to pour tea into the sau. cer; not so now. Tea should be gently sipped from the spoon or cup, taking cup and spoon in hand (Fig. 15) when drinking, as shown in the accompanying diagram.

The spoon should never be removed from the cup when the guest is satisfied with it contents. Should the ip be empty, and more be Gesired, to take the spoon out and place it beside the cup in the saucer is an intimation to the waiter to have it refilled. If not empty, and the spoon is placed thus beside the cup, It is an intimation to the waiter that you want the tea or coffee changed. Do not call for "milk;" call for and speak only t "cream." Never set your teacup upon the table-cloth. In taking sugar, use only the sugar-spoon.

Fig. 14. Correct Position for Holding Knife and Fork.

As in all the affairs of life, common sense must always rise superior to fashion or forms of etiquette In this chapter on "The Table" we have aimed to give the leading outlines which should govern conduct in the dining-room. Much judgment will be required to always understand where these rules should be applied. Certainly to meet a company of people at ne table, appear to advantage, carry forward an intelligent conversation, be agreeable and finish the meal, having eaten, in kind and quantity, sufficient to preserve health and vigor, requires much wisdon and experience.

HERE are many other kinds of gatherings, aside from the formal dinner-party and the ball, where less formality is required, but where the rules of etiquette, nevertheless, must be continually brought into service. These comprise con. versations, or sociables, private concerts, readings, tea-parties, private theatricals, card-playing, etc. At these entertainments some prefer dancing, some music, some conversation, and some the playing of games.

Whatever may be the nature of the entertainment, it is well to specify it in the invitation. Thus, for a large, full-dress party, the invitation will read:

Miss J's compliments to Miss H-, requesting the pleas. ure of her company for Friday evening, arch 10, at eight o'clock. For the small party meeting for a specific purpose, the invitation will

Miss Kregrets that a previous engagement (or other reason) will prevent her accepting Miss B's kind invitation for Wednesday evening next.

Should there be any probability of mistake as to time, and identity of the person sending the itation, the date should be explicitly given in the body of the note, and he full name and address may be placed in the lower left-hand corner.

As upon other occasions, it is the duty of the host and nostess to welcome arrivals and make all the guests fee! at ease. To do this, much depends upon the hostess, who, by self-possession, geniality and continual movement among the guests, will make all feel at home. More especially if the entertainment partakes of the character of a sociable, much tact is necessary upon the part of the family to have the gathering entertained.

To keep the attention of the company occupied, as many rooms should be thrown open as possible, and many objects of interest should be scattered around the apartments to interest, amuse and instruct.

If among the company there are those particularly eminent, there should be also other notables, that attention may not be entirely concentrated upon the few.

Special pains should be taken that the party does not divide itself up into cliques, twos, threes or more, leaving a number out who seem to possess no power to get into conversation.

While it is not always advisable to break up a pleasant conversation going forward between two, three or four, care must be exercised that those inclined to drop aside and spend the time in conversing with each other are prevented by the hostess as much as possible from so doing, as the best conversationalists, thus going by themselves, would cause

161

the remainder of the company to be wanting in spirit and animation. The introduction of others into the group, the calling for a story, the reading of a poem, the singing of a song, with instrumental music, will thus effectually break up the monotony.

Piano-Playing.

Should dancing form a principal feature of the entertainment, and the piano be used to furnish music, the hostess or one of the family should play the instrument. One of the guests should not be depended upon to furnish all of the music. If the hostess cannot play, a pianist for the occa on should be engaged. Either a lady or gentleman-guest may with propriety volunteer to play, if they choose; but the hostess cannot expect that music, thus voluntarily offered, will be cheerfully furnished for more than one dance.

It is courtesy, while anyone is playing an instrument, or singing, to preserve as much stillness as possible. Should you converse, do it so quietly as not to be heard by those near the piano. Should your con. versation be animated, it is well to retire to another room.

Amateur performers upon the piano should thoroughly commit to memory a few pieces to play independently of notes, as to take sheet. music to a party is a hint that they expect to be invited to play. If possible, have the voice in good condition also, so as not to be obliged to complain of a cold. To eat a small amount of horse-radish just previous to reading, singing or speaking, will quite effectually re move hoarseness.

Any lady-guest being invited to play the piano, it is courtesy for the gentleman nearest her to offer his arm and escort her to the instru. ment. While she is playing he will hold her bouquet, fan and gloves, and should also turn the leaves if he can readily read music, but he should not attempt it otherwise.

When a guest is invited by another guest to play the piano, it will be well to wait until the request is seconded by others; and even then the guest may not play unless it should meet the favor of the hostess, and it is believed to be the pleasure of the majority of the company. If certain that the playing will be acceptable, it is well to suggest to the hostess to invite your friend.

It is very impolite to speak disparagingly of the piano, however much it may be out of tune, or however inferior it may be. More espe⚫ cially is it a breach of etiquette to draw unfavorable comparisons be⚫ tween the instrument and another elsewhere.

How to Entertain the Party.

If it happens to be stormy on the evening of your party, an awning erected from the carriage-landing to the house, or a large umbrella car. ried by a servant, will be a kind provision for the comfort of the guests as they alight from their carriages.

Suppers have wisely been dispensed with of late years at the ordinary evening party. To furnish a full, late supper is a piece of folly for various reasons; among them being the fact that it is positively injuri. ous to the health of the company to eat it. The majority of the party, in all probability, do not desire it; and consequently it is time, labor and expense, upon the part of the hostess, worse than thrown away. She should have all of her time to devote to her company; to do which, she can provide only light refreshments, which may be passed around. Among the methods of entertainment resorted to, aside from conver. sation and dancing, may be those of a literary character. Thus a debatable question may be propounded, a presiding officer selected, assisted by two, four or six others, two leading disputants appointed, debaters chosen upon each side, and the speakers given each two, three or five minutes to talk; the president and board of arbitration to decide the question according to the weight of argument. This is a pleasant and profitable way of spending the evening, if all can be enlisted and be interested in listening or have something to say.

Another intellectual and pleasant mode of spending an evening is for each member of the company to read or recite something that shall interest, amuse, instruct and entertain the audience. To do this rightly, some one should be appointed to act as master of cere. monies for the evening, being assisted by two or three others, who will make suggestions. It will be the duty of the presiding officer, at these 8i

parlor recitations, to ascertain in the beginning what each one will re. cite, make out a programme, and then announce the various readers and speakers of the evening, as they come in turn, having the exercises suit. ably interspersed with music. The pleasure of the occasion will much depend upon having every piece upon the programme short, and clearly announced by the presiding officer.

Parlor-theatricals and parlor-concerts are a pleasant means of enter. taining an evening gathering -a company of six, eight, or more, thor. oughly mastering a play and giving it to an audience that may assemble in the parlors. To have an entertainment of this kind pass smoothly through, some competent person must take upon himself or herself the duties of manager. Each player should be consulted before parts are assigned, and it is of the utmost importance that the players be each prompt in rendering their parts. It is the province of the hostess to act the part of stage-manager, unless she appoints some one from the audience to conduct the exercises.

Croquet parties are very fashionable, and are a healthful, pleasant means of diversion. The essentials necessary to make the game pleas. ant are good grounds that can be shaded, and clean, comfortable, cool seats. A table may be set in the shade, and refreshments served thereon; or they may be passed to the guests as they sit in their seats.

On all occasions when a number of people convene together, whether indoors or out, the laws of courtesy should be obeyed. It is the duty of the gentlemen to be ever attentive to the ladies. If it be a picnic, the gentlemen will carry the luncheon, erect the swings, construct the tables, bring the water, provide the fuel for boiling the tea, etc. On the fishing excursion they will furnish the tackle, bait the hooks, row the boats, carry the fish, and furnish comfortable seats for the ladies. In gathering nuts, they will climb the trees, do the shaking, carry the nuts, and assist the ladies across the streams and over the fences. It possible, in crossing the fields, go through the bars or gateway, and avoid the ne⚫ cessity of compelling the ladies to clamber over the fences. Should it be necessary to climb them, it is etiquette for the gentleman to go over first, and when the lady is firmly on the top, he will gently help her down.

It should ever be the rule, with both ladies and gentlemen, upon all such occasions, to render every assistance possible to entertain the company. Self should be forgotten. More or less assistance is all the time required by the managers of the outdoor gatherings, and labor is continually necessary to make the occasion pleasant. To aid in render. ing the affair agreeable by needed assistance will very likely give you more pleasure than to be entertained yourself.

Seats having been secured, it is not necessary to arrive until about five minutes before the commencement of the performance. It is bad manners to go late to a public entertainment; the bustle and noise inci. dent to the late arrival is often a serious interference with the exercises of the occasion.

Upon entering the hall, secure a programme for each member of your party, and follow the usher to the designated seats. The gentleman will go first, and pause at the entrance, allowing the lady to pass into the seat, when he will follow.

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EFORE making a visit, you should be perfectly certain that your visit will be agreeable.

It is common for some people to be very cordial, and even profuse in their offers of hospitality. They unquestionably mean what they say at the time, but when they tender you an invitation to come and tarry weeks, it may seriously incommode them if you should pay them a visit of even a few days.

As a rule, a visit should never be made upon a gen. eral invitation. Should you visit a city where a friend resides, it will be best to go first to the hotel, unless you have a special invitation from the friend. From the hotel you will make a polite call, and if then you are invited, you can accept of the hospitality.

In all cases when you contemplate a visit, even with relatives, it is courtesy to write and announce your com. ing, giving, as nearly as possible, the day and exact time of your arrival.

An invitation to visit a friend should be answered as soon as may be; stating definitely when you will come, and how long you intend to stay.

When near your destination, it is well to send a prepaid telegram, stating upon what train you will arrive. As a reward for this forethought, you will probably find your friends waiting for you at the depot, and the welcome will be very pleasant.

What is Expected of the Guest when Visiting. You are expected to pleasantly accept such hospitality as your friends can afford.

If no previous understanding has been had, the visit should be limited to three days, or a week at most.

You should make your visit interfere as little as possible with the routine work of the household in which you are a guest.

You should aim to conform your action, as much as may be, to the rules of the house, as to times of eating, retiring to rest, etc.

You should 'ate upon your arrival how long you intend to stay, that your friends may arrange their plans to entertain accordingly.

Letters and papers being received in the presence of the host, hostess and others, the guest should ask to be excused while reading them.

are

Furnish your own materials in doing work for yourself when you visiting, as much as possible, and never depend upon your entertainers. A kind courtesy, while you remain, will be to execute some work representing your own skill, to be given the hostess as a memento of the occasion.

You should in shopping or transacting business, when you desire to go alone, select the hours of the day when your friends are engaged in their own duties.

The guest should beware of making unfavorable comment about the friends of the host and hostess, or of offering unfavorable criticism upon what they are known to favor or admire.

Should you happen to injure any article or other property while visiting, you should have the same immediately repaired, and, if possible, the article put in better condition than it was before.

You should not treat your friend's house as if it was a hotel, making your calls, visiting, transacting business about the town, and coming and going at all hours to suit your own convenience.

Never invite a friend who may call upon you to remain to dinner or supper. This is a right which belongs to the hostess, and it is for her to determine whether she wishes your guest to remain or not.

The guest should aim to render efficient assistance in case of sickness or sudden trouble at the house where the visit may be made. Oftentimes the best service will be rendered by considerately taking your leave.

Invitations accepted by the lady-guest should include the hostess, and those received by the hostess should include the guest. Thus, as much as possible, at all places of entertainment hostess and guest should go together.

While husbands and wives are always expected to accompany each other, where either may be invited, it is a trespass upon the generosity of the friend to take children and servants unless they are included in the invitation.

Never invite a friend who calls upon you into any other room than the parlor, unless it is suggested by the hostess that you do so. While you may have the right to enter various rooms, you have no authority for extending the privilege to others.

Immediately upon the return to your home, after paying a visit, you should write to your hostess, thanking her for hospitality and the enjoy ment you received. You should also ask to be remembered to all of the family, mentioning each one by name.

Expenses which the friends may incur in removal and care of bag. gage, in repairs of wardrobe, or any other personal service requiring cash outlay, the guest should be careful to have paid. Washing and ironing should be sent elsewhere from the place where the guest is visiting.

The lady-guest should beware of receiving too many visits from gentlemen, and if invited to accompany them to places of amusement or on rides, she should consult with the hostess and learn what appointments she may have, and whether the going with others will be satis factory to her.

Should a secret of the family come into your possession while on a visit, you should remember that the hospitality and privileges extended should bind you to absolute secrecy. It is contemptibly mean to become the possessor of a secret thus, and afterwards betray the confidence reposed in you.

Be careful that you treat with kindness and care servants, horses, car. riages and other things at your friend's house which are placed at your disposal. To pluck choice flowers, to handle books roughly, to drive horses too fast, to speak harshly to servants-all this indicates selfishness and bad manners.

The visitor should beware of criticism or fault-finding with the family of the hostess. It is also in extremely bad taste for the guest to speak disparagingly of things about the home or the town where the visit is being made, being at the same time enthusiastic in praise of people and places elsewhere.