Some large Extinguishers, (a plan, Till all things slept as dull and dark, Accordingly, some large supplies Of these Extinguishers were furnish'd (All of the true Imperial size), And there, in rows, stood black and burnish'd, Ready, where'er a gleam but shone Of light or fire, to be clapp'd on. But, ah, how lordly wisdom errs, Obstructed to his heart's content, His wrath, his rage, when, on returning, He found not only the old blaze, Brisk as before, crackling and burning, Not only new, young conflagrations, Popping up round in various stations— But, still more awful, strange, and dire, The' Extinguishers themselves on fire !!! They, they -those trusty, blind machines His Lordship had so long been praising, As, under Providence, the means Of keeping down all lawless blazing, Were now, themselves- alas, too true The shameful fact-turn'd blazers too, And, by a change as odd as cruel, Instead of dampers, serv'd for fuel! Thus, of his only hope bereft, "What," said the great man, "must be done?" All that, in scrapes like this, is left To great men is-to cut and run. 1 The idea of this Fable was caught from one of those brilliant mots which abound in the conversation of my friend, the author of the "Letters to Julia," a production which contains some of the happiest specimens of playful poetry that have appeared in this or any age. And, though their Fire had broke its bounds, MORAL. The moral hence my Muse infers Is, that such Lords are simple elves, In trusting to Extinguishers, That are combustible themselves. FABLE VIII. LOUIS FOURTEENTH'S WIG. The money rais'd- the army ready – And make the war "la dernière mode". Instantly, at the Pavillon Marsan, Is held an Ultra consultationWhat's to be done, to help the farce on? What stage-effect, what decoration, To make this beauteous France forget, In one grand, glorious pirouette, All she had sworn to but last week, And, with a cry of " Magnifique !" Rush forth to this, or any war, Without inquiring once-" What for?" After some plans propos'd by each, 2 They celebrated in the dark ages, at many churches, particularly at Rouen, what was called the Feast of the Ass. On this occasion the ass, finely drest, was brought before the altar, and they sung before him this elegant anthem, " Eh, eh, eh, Sire Ane, eh, eh, eh, Sire Ane."-WARTON's Essay on Pope. But that, of late, such pranks, and tricks, And freaks occurr'd the whole day long, As all, but men with bishopricks, Allow'd, in ev'n a King, were wrong. Wherefore it was they humbly pray'd That Honourable Nursery, That such reforms be henceforth made, As all good men desir'd to see ; — In other words (lest they might seem Too tedious), as the gentlest scheme For putting all such pranks to rest, And in its bud the mischief nipping — They ventur'd humbly to suggest His Majesty should have a whipping! The' alarm thus given, by these and other Spread through the land, till, such a pother, Which gave some fears of revolution, The little Lama, call'd before it, Assures us) like a hero bore it. And though, 'mong Thibet Tories, some So much is Thibet's land a debtor, A Lord of Persia, rich and great, Just come into a large estate, Was shock'd to find he had, for neighbours, In heretic combustion rose. First giving a few kicks for warning. He knock'd their Temple to the ground, Blessing himself for joy to see Such Pagan ruins strew'd around. But much it vex'd my Lord to find, That, while all else obey'd his will, The Fire these Ghebers left behind, Do what he would, kept burning still. Fiercely he storm'd, as if his frown Could scare the bright insurgent down; But, no-such fires are headstrong things, And care not much for Lords or Kings. Scarce could his Lordship well contrive The flashes in one place to smother, Before - hey presto!—all alive, They sprung up freshly in another. At length when, spite of prayers and damns, 'Twas found the sturdy flame defied him, His stewards came, with low salams, Offring, by contract, to provide him But, ah, how lordly wisdom errs, Obstructed to his heart's content, His wrath, his rage, when, on returning, He found not only the old blaze, Brisk as before, crackling and burning, Not only new, young conflagrations, Popping up round in various stationsBut, still more awful, strange, and dire, The' Extinguishers themselves on fire !!! They, they those trusty, blind machines His Lordship had so long been praising, As, under Providence, the means Of keeping down all lawless blazing, Were now, themselves- alas, too true The shameful fact- turn'd blazers too, And, by a change as odd as cruel, Instead of dampers, serv'd for fuel! And, though their Fire had broke its bounds, And soon another, fairer Dome MORAL. The moral hence my Muse infers Is, that such Lords are simple elves, In trusting to Extinguishers, That are combustible themselves. FABLE VIII. LOUIS FOURTEENTH'S WIG. The money rais'd- the army ready- To the old tune "Eh, eh, Sire Ane!"-2 And make the war " la dernière mode”. Instantly, at the Pavillon Marsan, Is held an Ultra consultationWhat's to be done, to help the farce on? What stage-effect, what decoration, To make this beauteous France forget, In one grand, glorious pirouette, All she had sworn to but last week, And, with a cry of " Magnifique !" Rush forth to this, or any war, Without inquiring once-" What for?" After some plans propos'd by each, 1 The idea of this Fable was caught from one of those brilliant mots which abound in the conversation of my friend, the author of the "Letters to Julia," a production which contains some of the happiest specimens of playful poetry that have appeared in this or any age. 2 They celebrated in the dark ages, at many churches, particularly at Rouen, what was called the Feast of the Ass. On this occasion the ass, finely drest, was brought before the altar, and they sung before him this elegant anthem, “Eh, eh, eh, Sire Ane, eh, eh, eh, Sire Ane."-WARTON's Essay on Pope. Wherein he- having first protested A grand, Baptismal Melo-drame, In which the Duke (who, bless his Highness! Had by his hilt acquir'd such fame, 'Twas hop'd that he as little shyness Would show, when to the point he came,) Should, for his deeds so lion-hearted, Be christen'd Hero, ere he started; With power, by Royal Ordonnance, To bear that name-at least in France. Himself the Viscount Châteaubriand (To help the' affair with more esprit on) Off'ring, for this baptismal rite, - Some of his own fam'd Jordan water-1 (Marie Louise not having quite Us'd all that, for young Nap, he brought her,) Which Bourbon heroes most expose; Or if (the Viscount said) this scheme Was too much in the genre romantique -3 It seems (as Monsieur told the story) 1 Brought from the river Jordan by M. Châteaubriand, and presented to the French Empress for the christening of young Napoleon. 2 See the Duke's celebrated letter to madame, written during his campaign in 1815, in which he says, "J'ai le postérieur légèrement endommagé." 3 "On certain great occasions, the twelve Judges (who are generally between sixty and seventy years of age) sing the song and dance the figure-dance," &c. - Book v. 4 Louis XIV. fit présent à la Vierge de son cordon bleu, que l'on conserve soigneusement, et lui envoya ensuite, son Contrat de Mariage et le Traité des Pyrenées, magnifiquement relié."- Mémoires, Anecdotes pour servir, &c. 5 The learned author of Recherches Historiques sur les Perruques says that the Board consisted but of Forty- the same number as the Academy. "Le plus beau tems des perruques fut celui où Louis XIV. commença à porter, lui-même, perruque;....... On ignore l'époque où se fit cette révolu tion; mais on sait qu'elle engagea Louis le Grand à y donner ses soins paternels, en créant, en 1656, quarante charges de perruquiers, suivant la cour; et en 1673, il forma un corps dé deux cents perruquiers pour la Ville de Paris." - P. 111. That wond'rous Wig, array'd in which A smile at t'other, and 'twas done! "That Wig" (said Monsieur, while his brow Rose proudly,) "is existing now; — “ That Grand Perruque, amid the fall "Of ev'ry other Royal glory, "With curls erect survives them all, "And tells in ev'ry hair their story. Think, think, how welcome at this time "A relic, so belov'd, sublime! "What worthier standard of the Cause "Of Kingly Right can France demand? "Or who among our ranks can pause "To guard it, while a curl shall stand? "Behold, my friends"— (while thus he cried, A curtain, which conceal'd this pride Of Princely Wigs was drawn aside) "Behold that grand Perruque - how big "With recollections for the world“ For France for us - Great Louis' Wig, "By HIPPOLYTE new frizz'd and curl'd— "New frizz'd! alas, 'tis but too true, "Well may you start at that word new — |