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A History of Ourselves.

my father to lay immediate siege to Miss Fanny Cross, the elderly gentleman's only daughter, intimating that her fortune would make up for all deficiencies of rank; but the young lady had not yet returned from the boarding-school, and my father was too impatient to await her arrival; as, in about a month after he was settled in the money-lender's house, it was perceived by his sapient friend that he was entrapped by the beauty and innocence of the first pretty girl he had seen. Mr. Brown assisted him in every way in which a man of literary acquirements could assist a friend: he wrote acrostics for him, and answered all the fair lady's notes in his best running hand, and every thing seemed to proceed most prosperously. The lady's mother always had some excuse in readiness to leave the parlour, that his discourse with his Dulcinea might be uninterrupted. It was often even hinted that her father could settle something handsome on her; and after many delays (for my father did not wish to hurry himself in so momentous a business) he at last told her in a half whisper, that he would shortly change his condition, and was rewarded at his departure with a warmer salute than usual; but when he called the next day, he understood that the lady had only received his visits to conceal her attachment to a young ensign with whom she had eloped about an hour after he left the house.

My father consoled himself for this disappointment by reflecting that she was better lost than found; but ere long his latent chagrin was completely dissipated. He was destined to wear the chains of love a second time; and, as he had been before attracted by personal beauty, he was now in love with the charms of the mind. His new innamorata sang melodiously, played divinely, and painted admirably. I still possess a small painting, which her munificence presented to him. It represents a yellow castle on the top of a dark blue rock-a bright green river flowing beneath, on which is floating a boat, containing a fowler in the act of shooting a crow-the prospect bounded by red, brown, and yellow trees. The crow is as large as the man-the man as the boat-and any of them as large as the castle. I have often heard my father speak of her accomplishments with the most sincere admiration; but alas! the sagacious Mr. Brown said she could scarcely read. Warned by the loss of his first love, my father declared his sentiments to her before they were a week acquainted; but his suit was refused: and when Mr. Brown expostulated, and tried to

The Adventures of an unfortunate Player.

soften his resentment by representing the absurdity of such haste, and asking how he could expect a lady to yield on such a short notice, without knowing her lover more inti mately, his only and constant answer was-" Sure she knew as much about me as I did about her.".

My father had spent nearly two years in these unprofitable searches. During the next year he was in love twelve times; but though in the prime of manhood, he was about this time obliged to get a wig, to conceal the ravages of time. In the mean while, Miss Fanny Cross had assumed the care of her father's household concerns, and my father often brought her out to enjoy the fresh breezes of the country in a gig which he had lately set up. She wished to escape from her father's power, and he wanted a wife; and it is easy to conceive under such circumstances that he soon prevailed on her to change her name. Her father's consent was gained the marriage ceremony was completed-Mr. Dermot Cudmore's former disappointments were entirely forgottenand in less than a twelvemonth I was christened under the auspices of Mr. Cross and Mr, Brown, by the name and appellation of Cross Brown Cudmore.

I am at present too much fatigued to enter on the more immediate history of my own life; but I have been diffuse on the subject of my father's adventures, as they were afterwards instrumental in raising me to my present height. If I find myself inclined to scribble towards the latter part of this month, I shall indulge our readers with the continuation of my memoirs in our next number,


(Concluded from page 491 of first vol.)

"I FEAR I have been tedious in these details," continued the player, after a little pause; " and I shall, in concluding my short but eventful history, endeavour to compress-what remains to be told in as few words as possible. To be brief, -I found in this young man a kind and generous friend, who earnestly advised me to resign all thought of the stage, and to return to my family immediately. To the former proposition I most readily agreed, for I was now as much disgusted with the life of an actor, as I had before been enamoured; but there was something so humiliating in return

The Adventures of an Unfortunate Player.

ing to my home, and craving pardon for my past transgressions, that it was some time before my foolish spirit would sink to such degradation. However, I agreed at last; and it was determined that the father of my young friend should write a letter of intercession to my mother, acquainting her with my contrition and the situation to which I was reduced. But alas! a provincial paper, which I took up by chance, gave the last blow to my hopes, and almost deprived me of my reason, by disclosing the death of my mother, 'from an illness, the effect of the shock which she received from the alarming absence of an only and beloved son, who was vainly sought for by his despairing friends;' the characters swam in mist before my eyes; the paper dropped from my hands; and in a paroxysm of anguish and despair I flew from the house of my protector, with the intention of putting an end to my miseries and my life together. I continued to wander about, wishing to die, yet unknowing how to attain my end, till the day closed upon my misfortunes, and the shadows of night found me in a wild unknown place, far from the haunt of man. The darkness fell suddenly around me, and the black clouds foreboded a coming storm. I flung myself on the earth, and in the bitterness of my sorrow and remorse, gave vent to a thousand incoherent ravings. 1 accused myself as the murderer of my mother, and madly called for a bolt of that thunder which now pealed above me, to strike my guilty head. In this manner I passed the night; often did I fancy that I saw her accusing spirit gliding by me in the storm, and my shrieks mingled with the blast! towards morning, however, the tempest subsided, and the fever of my brain was abated; sleep pressed my weary eyes, and I yielded to its friendly power; nor did I awake to a feeling of my misery till the declining sun was sinking in the west. I arose shivering, and spiritless. The recollection of my hapless situation broke slowly on my mind, and fancy presented to my view the death bed of my mother. -But I fear that I have fallen into my former error, and am tedious. It was from this period, I may say, that my miseries began-I dared not face my home, for I dreaded that a parent's curse would meet me there; indeed I had soon no home to face, for I learned shortly after, that my father, deeply affected by my mother's death, and resigning me as lost, had sold his property, and embarked for a distant country, to try if travel would dissipate his griefs-I had no relative to whom I could apply; and thus, as I became a stroller from choice, I was now a wanderer from.necessity.

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The Adventures of an unfortunate Player.

The stage, which I had quitted with disgust, was now my only refuge, and from thence was I forced to look for a precarious subsistence;-and they who have experienced the life of an itinerant actor, best know in what sorrows that subsistence is obtained. I shall not detain you by recounting the variety of scenes through which I passed, nor recount the privations and hardships I endured for three long years in wandering from town to town, endeavoring to excite sympathy for the tragic hero of a poet's brain, or to raise a laugh in lighter comedy. Alas! the imaginary sorrows we displayed, were too often responsive to our own, and the affected gaiety we were forced to assume, but ill accorded with hunger and heavy hearts! Among those with whom I was obliged to associate was a young man, whose necessities, like mine, had driven him to the stage; he was indeed, ' one writ with me in sour misfortune's book;' a similarity in our situatious attracted us together.-Unhappy youth! would that we had never met! I now hasten to the last scene of my theatrical career, involving a catastrophe which produced the climax of my wretchedness-the recollection of which embitters every thought. It unfortunately happened, that my friend and I were cast together in the play of The Fair Penitent,' he as the gallant gay Lothario,' and 1 as the injured Altamont. The play proceeded with much approbation till the discovery of Lothario and Calista in the garden, which confirms the suspicions of Altamont that his wife had been unfaithful; a contest ensues, in which the paramour is slain. By a cursed fatality, the button broke from my foil just at the moment that I made the final pass-the steel went through his body, and my friend fell senseless at my feet! the audience did not perceive the accident-but the blood which followed from the wound was enough for me! with a cry of horror I flung the weapon from my hand, and threw myself beside my friend, exclaiming that I had murdered him, and calling on his name in the frenzy of despair -the house was quickly in confusion, and crowds rushed upon the stage; a medical gentleman was among the number-his assistance was speedily afforded-but the wound was declared to be mortal!"-The unhappy player paused, and some time elapsed before he was calm enough to conclude his story; but he spoke in so low a tone, and in such broken sentences, that I find it difficult to follow his words"I received my friend's dying forgiveness," he added. "That hour and that scene I shall not soon forget-I reVOL. II.—NO, I.



The Genius of Discovery.

signed myself to the hands of justice, for I wished to die, and atone for the blood of my friend-but the accident had been so notorious, that the law detained me not. About this period, and while I was labouring under a temporary derangement, I was discovered by my tutor-poor man! he had given me up for lost, and in what condition did he find me! my miseries had worn me to a shadow, and my appearance was wild and neglected, for I had shunned the society of man and was wandering without food or shelter.Through his exertions, I was in some measure restored; but the withering spell of my destiny was busy still-and fate, as if unsated with my sufferings, deprived me of this only friend when most I had occasion for his succour-he had engaged with a nobleman to attend his son in a tour through Europe, and he was obliged to leave me at a few hours' warning-he divided his purse with me however, and at parting he mingled his tears with mine. Thus was I again alone in the world, and the first use which I made of returning strength and reason, was to fly from a country in which I had suffered so much. I arrived here some months since-and am still but poorly in my brain."-Such was the account which the Unfortunate Player gave me: but I have omitted his occasional flights, and have endeavoured to reduce his narration to a consistent detail.-I am not aware of the feelings of such of your readers as may have read these papers through, but certain I am, that if they could have heard the story from the lips of the young man himself, it would have affected them, as it did me. He is a melancholy instance of the consequences of youthful folly.

X. Y. Z.

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WHEN the Genius of Discovery had traced the regions of the sun and the planets, and pointed out to the observation of men the nature of the Supernal Existence-when she had spread her wings through heaven, and swept over the bosom

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