DR. SHERIDAN. 1723. Well, if ever. I saw such another man since my

mother bound my head! You a gentleman! marry come up! I wonder where

you were bred. I'm sure such words do not become a man of your

cloth; I would not give such language to a dog, faith and

troth. Yes, you call'd my master a knave: fie, Mr. Sheri.

dan! 'tis a shame For a parson, who should know better things, to

come out with such a name. Knave in your teeth, Mr. Sheridan! 't is both a shame,

and a sin; And the Dean my master is an honester man than

you and all your kin: He has more goodness in his little finger, than you

have in your whole body: My master is a parsonable man, and 'not a spindle.

shank'd hoddy-doddy. And now, whereby Í find you would fain make an Because my master one day, in anger, call'd you

goose; Which, and I am sure I have been his servant four

years since October, And he never call?d me worse than sweet-heart,

drunk or sober: Not that I know his reverence was ever concern’d to

my knowledge, Though you and your come-rogi keep him out so

late in your college. You

say you will eat grass on his grave; a christian

tian eat grass!

excuse,

an ass:

Whereby you now confess yourself to be a goose or But that's as much as to say, that my master should

die before ye; Well, well, that's' as God pleases; and I don't bra

lieve that's a true story: And so say I told you so, and you may go tell my

master; what care I? And I don't care who knows it; 'tis all one to Mary. Every body knows that I love to tell truth, and shame

the devil; I am but a poor servant; but I think gentle folks

should be civil. Besides, you found fault with our victuals one day

that you was here; I remember it was on a Tuesday of all days in the

year; And Saunders the man says you are always jesting

and mocking: Mary, said he, (one day as I was mending my mga

ter's stocking;) My master is so fond of that minister that keeps the

schoolI thought my master a wise man, but that man make

him a fool. Saunders, said I, I would rather than a quart of ale He would come into our kitchen, and I would pina

dish-clout to his tail. And now I must go, & get Saunders to direct this letter; For I write but a sad scrawl, but my sister Margel,

she writes better. Well, but I nyust run and make the bed, before my

master comes from prayers; And see now, it strikes ten, and I 'hear him coming Whereof I could say more to your verses, if I cous

write writtein hand: And so I remain, in a civil way, your servant to com mand,

MARY.

up stairs;

THE DIVERTING HISTORY OR

JOHN GILPIN, showing how he went farther than he intended, and came safe

home again.

BY WM. COWPER, ESQ.

victuals c

f all day

: always

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that mara

John Gilpin was a citizen

Of credit and renown,
A train-band captain eke was he

Of famous London town.
John Gilpin's spouse said to her dear,

Though wedded we have been
These twice ten tedious years, yet we

No holiday have seen.
To-morrow is our wedding day,

And we will then repair
Unto the Bell at Edmonton,

All in a chaise and pair.
My sister and my sister's child,

Myself and children three,
Will fill the chaise; so you must ride

On horseback after we.
He soon replied, I do admire

Of womankind but one,
And you are she, my dearest dear,

Therefore it shall be done,
I am a linen-draper bold,

As all the world doth know,
And my good friend the callender
Will lend his horse to go.

B

Quoth Mistress Gilpin, That's well said;

And, for that wine is dear,
We will be furnish'd with our own,

Which is both bright and clear.
John Gilpin kiss'd his loving wife;

O'erjoy'd was he to find
That, though on pleasure she was bent,

She had a frugal mind.
The morning came, the chaise was brought,

But yet was not allow'd
To drive up to the door, lest all

Should say that she was proud.
So three doors off the chaise was stay'd,

Where they did all get in;
Six precious souls, and all agog

To dash through thick and thin.
Smack went the whip, round went the wheels

Were never folk so glad,
The stones did rattle underneath

As if Cheapside were mad.
John Gilpin at his horse's side

Seiz'd fast the flowing mane,
And up he got in haste to ride,

But-soon came down again;
For saddle-tree scarce reached had he,

His journey to begin,
When, turning round his head, he saw

Three customers come in.
So down he came; for loss of time,

Although it griev'd him sore,
Yet loss of pence, full well he knew,

Would trouble him much more. *T was long before the customers

Were suited to their mind,

When Betty screaming came down stairs,

• The wine is left behind!"
Good lack! quoth he--yet bring it me,

My leathern belt likewise,
In which I bear my trusty sword

When I do exercise.
Naw Mistress Gilpin, careful soul!

Had two stone bottles found,
To hold the liquor that she lov'd,

And keep it safe and sound. Each bottle had a curling ear,

Through which the belt he drew, And hung a bottle on each side,

To make his balance true; Then over all, that he might be

Equipp'd from top to toe,
His long red cloak, well brush'd and neat,

He manfully did throw.
Now see him mounted once again

Upon his nimble steed,
Full slowly pacing o'er the stones

With caution and good heed.
But finding soon a smoother road

Beneath his well-shod feet,
The snorting beast began to trot,

Which gallid him in his seat.
So, fair and softly, John he cried,

But John he cried in vain,
That trot became a gallop soon,

In spite of curb and rein.
So stooping down, as needs he must

Who cannot sit upright,
He grasp'd the mane with his hands,

And eke with all his might.