I resolved against anger, pride, disobedience to my parent; also the neglect of secret prayer ng and church-going; with all wanderings of heart in those duties, and a variety of other evil tempers, &c. which I knew myself guilty of: Hav. ing humbled myself before God, fasted and prayed, and, as I vainly thought, fortified myself by these resolutions, of keeping all God's commands in future, I ventured to take upon me the solemn vow. But such was my fear and trembling at the time, that when I approached the altar I was near fainting; and when I reeturned to the pew, burst into a flood of tears. This was on Whit-Sunday; and I intended to receive the holy Sacrament the Sunday following. But before it came, I was conscious I had already broken my solemn vows; and, on the reflection, my distress was great, and I had many doubts whether partaking of the Lord's-Supper would not be sealing my own damnation. However, one day, as I was praying, it came into my mind, this holy Sacrament is called a mean

grace; surely then it is just what so sinful, so helpless a soul wants: I will go to it then as a mean whereby to receive strength and grace to conquer sin in future. In this view of that blessed ordinance I found much comfort; and I am now assured it was from the Lord, whom ignorantly I was feeling after. I approached the Lord's table, therefore, with renewed vows, and renewed hopes; but, alas! these also were as the "morning cloud, and the early dew which passeth away." For several months I thus repented and sinned, resolved and broke

all my resolutions: sinned and repented again I dared not to receive the Lord's-Supper, with out resolving on a new life; neither dared I t stay from it: nor did I ever attend without bein wrought on by the Spirit of God.

The latter end of this year I had a malignan fever, and believed I should die. I felt mysel totally unprepared to appear before a holy God and was in great distress: I earnestly entreated him to spare me a little longer, and resolved. would then lead a new life indeed. A patien forbearing God of love listened to my request, and did not cut the fig-tree down. One night during this illness, I dreamed my soul was de parted out of the body, and I, with three of my cousins, (with whom I had a close inti macy, and who, I thought, had left the body also,) were waiting in dreadful expectation of being summoned to the bar of God: and we all believed our doom would be everlasting darkness! My sins all appeared as in array against me in the court of conscience, and my mouth was stopped: I had no plea whatsoever, no hope, for it seemed that the justice of God must unavoidably sentence me to endless misery, which I felt to be my real desert; and was be wailing my own folly with bitter cries and la mentations. Their employ, I thought, was the

N. B. These three cousins were Robert Roe, (whose experience and death are related in the Arminian Maga zine ;) and two of his sisters, Mary and Frances. These are all now asleep in Jesus, and their happy spirits r joicing before his throne; though, at the time of this dream, they were utterly unawakened.

game; each for ourselves, dreading the worm that dieth not, and the fire which never shall be quenched! When suddenly there appeared a es cloud of uncommon brightness, and soon after a glorious angel descended in the cloud, and stood before us, clothed in white, and a majesty and beauty not to be described. We be Gheld his approach with trembling awe, and almost an agony of despair: believing he was sent to Summon us to appear and receive the deserved, but dreadful sentence, 66 Depart, ye cursed!" But, to our inconceivable surprise, he smiled on us with heavenly sweetness, and said, "The Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven all your sins, and washed you in his own blood, and I am come to bid you enter into the joy of your Lord, and to conduct you to his blissful presence!" Being now suddenly transported from depths = of misery, into joy unspeakable, love beyond compare, and extreme delight; I thought I sprang up, and clapped my hands, and leaped for joy, and praised my God in ecstacies unknown before: so that it awoke me! Never did I feel any thing like what I felt in this dream, sleeping or waking, before or after, till the Lord did truly speak my sins forgiven. This made a deep impression on my mind for some time. For a month or two I was very serious and circumspect; and read all the religious books I could meet with. One of these, I remember, asserted, that we are all to be judged according to our works. Therefore, if our

good works are more than our evil ones, we are in a fair and sure way for heaven when we

die; but if our evil works exceed our good, we may expect condemnation. I thought I would impartially examine myself by this rule, and see what hope I should have for my own soul on these terms. I, therefore, made a little daybook, in which I put down every good and bad action, with great sincerity; at the same time, praying God to show me if I was in the way to heaven or not. But then there were many things, as before observed, which I did not account sinful: and again, many things I accounted good actions, because entirely ignorant that an impure motive, in the sight of that God, who searcheth the heart, renders our actions, however splendid in the sight of men, abominable before him. Every act of obedience to my elders, or superiors, I accounted a good action; as also every prayer I offered, every ordinance I attended, every time I spoke the truth instead of denying a fault: and, in order to swell the number of my good actions, I would sometimes refuse going to a play, or to an entertainment, and read to my mother at home. Nay, with this view I have fasted whole days, from morning till evening: but after all, I found my bad actions more than my good ones. Yet I went on resolving to be better; and still keeping the account, till being at a dance, I pulled out my day-book with my pocket handkerchief, and it was found, and made the jest of the company. I was then so ashamed, that I resolved to follow this method

no more.

I met with another book, which affirmed,

it was impossible to conquer all sins at once; and if ever we would obtain victory, it must be by overcoming, first one, and then another. Pride and anger I felt to be my most besetting sins, and, therefore, set myself against these in particular. But I was foiled in every attempt, and it seemed, as the Poet says,

"The more I strove against its power,

I siun'd and stumbled but the more.'

So that this trial only made a more clear discovery that pride was interwoven with my every thought, and word, and action. I was now quite discouraged, and thought it was all in vain to strive for victory so impossible to gain! I then looked round and considered the con. duct of others; and when I saw them more trifling, more wicked than myself, and some of them who passed for amiable characters, guilty of things which my soul shuddered at; I began to conclude, I was very good, compared with them and surely all these would not be doomed to hell and damnation! That God was merciful, Christ died for sinners, and, therefore, if I lived a tolerable moral life, he would pardon the rest, and accept me through the merits of Christ, in the hour of death, or, at least, I had as good a chance as others; and, therefore, would cast away fear, and live like the rest of my moral neighbours. I was some time, however, before I had so resisted the convictions of the Spirit of God, as to remain at ease. He strove with me various ways, till I was a little more than fifteen. But I so repeatedly grieved B