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Comfort me in my banishment, assuage my sorrow; for all my desire is after thee; and all that this world offers for my comfort is burthen

some to me.

I long to enjoy thee intimately, but cannot attain to it.

I desire to cleave to heavenly things, but the things of this life and my unmortified passions bear me down. I am willing in mind, to be above all things, but by the flesh am obliged against my will to be subject to them.

Thus, unhappy man that I am, I fight with myself, and am become burthensome to myself, whilst the spirit seeks to tend upwards, and the flesh downwards.

O what do I suffer interiorly, whilst in my mindet consider heavenly things, and presently a crowd of carnal thoughts offers to interrupt my prayer! O my God, remove not thyself far from me, and depart not in thy wruth from thy servant.

Dart forth thy lightning, and disperse thems shoot thy arrows, and let all the phantoms of the enemy be put to flight.

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Gather my senses together to thee; make me forget all worldly things; give me the grace speedily to cast away and to despise all wicked ima ginations.

Come to my aid, O eternal Truth, that no vanity may move me.

Come, heavenly sweetness, and let all impu rity fly from before my face.

Pardon me also, and mercifully forgive me the time that I have thought of any thing else in prayer besides thee.

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For confess truly that I am accustomed to very much distracted:

For oftentimes I am not there, where I am bodily standing or sitting, but am rather there, where my thoughts carry me.

There I am where my thought is; and there

oftentimes is my thought where that is which I love.

That thing most readily comes to my mind, which naturally delights me, or which thro' custom is pleasing to me.

For this reason thou, who art the Truth hast plainly said, where thy treasure is, there also is thy heart. (Mat. vi.)

If I love heaven, I willingly think on heavenly things.

If I love the world, I rejoice in the prosperity of the world, and am troubled at its adversity.

If I love the flesh, my imagination is often taken up with the things of the flesh.

If I love the spirit, I delight to think of spiritual things.

For whatsoever things I love, of the same I willingly speak and hear, and carry home with me the images of them.

But blessed is the man, who for thee, O Lord, lets go all things created; who offers violence to his nature, and through fervour of spirit crucifies the lusts of the flesh; that so his conscience being cleared up, he may offer to thee pure prayer, and may be worthy to be admitted among the choirs of angels, having shut out all things of the earth both from without and within.

CHAP. xli.

Of the Desire of eternal Life: and how great Things are promised to them that fight.

SON, says Jesus, when thou perceivest a longing after eternal bliss to be infused in thee from above, and that thou desirest to go out of the dwelling of this body, that thou mayest contemplate my brightness, without any shadow of change, dilate thy heart, and with all thy affec tion embrace this holy inspiration.

Return very great thanks to the divine bounty, which deals so favourably with thee, which mer eifully visits thee, ardently incites thee, and powerfully raises thee up, lest by thy own weight thou fall down to the things of the earth.

For it is not by thy own thought or endeavour that thou attainest to this; but only by the favour of heavenly grace and the divine visit; that so thou may est advance in virtues and greater humility, and prepare thyself for future conflicts, and labour with the whole affection of thy heart to keep close to me, and serve me with a fervent will.

Son, the fire often burns, but the flame ascends not without smoke.

So also some people's desires are on fire after heavenly things, and yet they are not free from the temptation of carnal affection.

And therefore it is not altogether purely for God's honour, that they do what they so earnestly request of him.

Such also is oftentimes thy desire, which thou hast signified to be so strong.

For that is not pure and perfect which is infected with self-interest.

Ask not what is delightful, and commodious for thee, but what is pleasing and honourable to me; for if thou judgest rightly, thou oughtest to follow my appointment rather than thy own desire, and to prefer it before all that thou desirest.

I know thy desire, and I have often heard thy sighs.

Thou wouldst be glad to be at present in the Hiberty of the glory of the children of God.

Thou wouldst be pleased to be now at thy eternal home, and in thy heavenly country abounding with joy; but that hour is not yet come: there

is yet an intervening period, viz. a time of war, a time of labour and trial.

Thou wishest to be replenished with the Sovereign Good, but thou canst not at present attain to it.

I am that Sovereign good; wait for me, till. the kingdom of God comes.

Thou must yet be tried upon earth, and exercised in many things.

Consolation shall sometimes be given thee; but to be fully satisfied shall not be granted thee.

Take courage therefore and be valiant, as well in doing as in suffering things repugnant to

nature.

Thou must put on the new man, and be changed into another man.

Thou must oftentimes do that which is against thy inclination, and let alone that which thou art inclined to.

That which is pleasing to others shall go forward; that which thou wouldst have shall not succeed.

That which others say shall be hearkened to;: what thou sayest shall not be regarded.

Others shall ask, and shall receive; thou shalt ask and not obtain.

Others shall be great in the esteem of men; but of thee no notice shall be taken..

To others this or that shall be committed; but thou shalt be accounted fit for nothing.

At this nature will sometimes repine, and it will be no small matter if thou bear it with silence.

In these and many such like things the faithful servant of the Lord is used to be tried, how far he can renounce himself, and break himself in all things.

There is scarce any one thing in which thou

standest so much in need of mortifying thyself, as in seeing and suffering the things which are repugnant to thy will; and especially when that is commanded which seems to thee incongruous and to little purpose.

And because being under authority thou darest not resist the higher power, therefore thou art apt to think it hard to walk at the beek of another, and wholly to give up thy own sentiments.

But consider, son, the fruit of these labours, how quickly they will end, and their exceeding great reward; and thou wilt not be troubled at them, but strongly comforted in thy suffering.

For in regard to that little of thy will, which thou now willingly forsakest, thou shalt for ever have thy will in heaven.

For there thou shalt find all that thou willest, all that thou canst desire.

There thou shalt enjoy all good, without fear of ever losing it.

There thy will being always one with mine, shall desire nothing foreign or private.

There no one shall resist thee, no man shall complain of thee, no man shall hinder thee, nothing shall stand in thy way: but all that thou desirest shall be there together present, and shall replenish thy whole affection, and satiate it to the full.

There I will give thee glory for the affronts which thou hast suffered; a garment of praise for thy sorrow; and for thy having been seated here, in the lowest place, a royal throne for all eternity.

There will the fruit of obedience appear; there will the labour of penance rejoice, and humble subjection shall be gloriously crowned.

Bow down thyself, then, humbly at present under the hands of all; and heed not who it was that has said or commanded this.

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