conquest. She told me that she hoped my face was not akin to my tongue, and looking upon her watch, I accidentally discovered the figure of a coronet on the back part of it. I was so transported with the thought of such an amour, that I plied her from one room to another with all the gallantries I could invent; and at length brought things to so happy an issue, that she gave me a private meeting the next day, without page or footman, coach or equipage. My heart danced in raptures, but I had not lived in this golden dream above three days, before I found good reason to wish that I had continued true to my laundress. I have since heard, by a very great accident, that this fine lady does not live far from Covent Garden, and that I am not the first cully whom she has passed herself upon for a countess.

Thus, Sir, you see how I have mistaken a cloud for a Juno; and if you can make any use of this adventure, for the benefit of those who may possibly be as vain young coxcombs as myself, I do most heartily give you leave. 'I am, Sir,

Your most humble admirer,
'B. L.'

I design to visit the next masquerade myself, in the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo;* and till then shall suspend my judgment of this midnight entertaininent.

ADDISON.

C.

No. 9. SATURDAY, MARCH 10, 1710-11.

Tigris agit rabida cum tigride pacem
Perpetuam, savis inter se convenit ursis.

Juv. Sat. xv. ver. 163.

Tiger with tiger, bear with bear, you'll find
In leagues offensive and defensive join'd.

TATE.

MAN is said to be a sociable animal, and, as an instance of it, we may observe, that we take all occasions and pre

* See NO. 1.

tences of forming ourselves into those little nocturnal assemblies, which are commonly known by the name of clubs. When a set of men find themselves agree in any particular, though never so trivial, they establish themselves into a kind of fraternity, and meet once or twice a week, upon the account of such a fantastic resemblance. I know a considerable market-town, in which there was a club of fat men that did not come together (as you may well suppose) to entertain one another with sprightliness and wit, but to keep one another in countenance. The room where the club met was something of the largest, and had two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate size, and the other by a pair of folding-doors. If a candidate for this corpulent club could make his entrance through the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he stuck in the passage, and could not force his way through it, the folding-doors were immediately thrown open for his reception, and he was saluted as a brother. I have heard that this club, though it consisted but of fifteen persons, weighed above three ton.

In opposition to this society, there sprung up another composed of scarecrows and skeletons, who, being very meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the designs of their bulky brethren, whom they represented as men of dangerous principles; until at length they worked them out of the favour of the people, and consequently out of the magistracy. These factions tore the corporation in pieces for several years, till at length they came to this accommodation; that the two bailiffs of the town should be annually chosen out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magistrates are at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and one lean.

Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance was formed a little after the return of king Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all qualities and professions, provided they agreed in the surname of King, which as they imagined, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and anti-monarchial principles.

A Christian name has likewise been often used as a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a club. That of the George's, which used to meet at the sign of

the George, on St. George's day, and swear ، Before George,' is still fresh in every one's memory.

There are at present in several parts of this city what they call Street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every night. I remember, upon my enquiring after lodgings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon further discourse with him, that two or three noisy country squires, who were settled there the year before, had considerably sunk the price of houserent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniences for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, until they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation.

The Hum Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen of peaceable dispositions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing until midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature, and as great an enemy to noise.

After these two innocent societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of king Charles the Second; I mean the club of Duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The president of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was likewise a side-table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shewn a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club, consisting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little after its institution.

Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the learned and illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-Cat* itself is said to have taken

*This club, consisting of the most distinguished wits and states

its original from a mutton-pie. The Beef-Steak,+ and October clubs, are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles.

When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments.

I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehouse. How I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. These laws were enacted by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is something in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I shall transcribe them word for word.

men among the Whigs, met in Shire-lane, and was named from a pastry-cook (Christopher Cat), who was famous for making mutton-pies, which constantly formed a part of their refreshment. The portraits of its members, done by Sir Godfrey Kneller, were all at Barnes, in the possession of the late Mr. Jacob Tonson, whose father was secretary to the club. From Mr. Tonson's, they have since become, by inheritance, the property of William Baker, Esq. In order to adapt them to the height of the club-room, the pictures were painted of a size less than a whole, and larger than a half length, admitting only one arm; and hence all pictures of that size have since been called Kit-Cats.

+ See Dr. King's Works, vol. iii. p. 290. 8vo. edit. 1776. This club also consisted of the chief wits and greatest men in the king. dom. It is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman in it, was president. Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their providore; and, as an honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron of gold hung round his neck with a green silk ribbon.

Swift, in a letter to Stella, (London, Feb. 10, 1710-11) says, "We are plagued here with an October club; that is, a set of above a hundred parliament men of the country, who drink October beer at home, and meet every evening at a tavern near the par. liament, to consult affairs, and drive things on to extremes against the Whigs, to call the old ministry to account, and get off five or six heads."

Rules to be observed in the Two-penny club, erected in this place for the preservation of friendship and good neighbourhood.

I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence.

II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own

box.

III. If any member absents himself, he shall forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in case of sickness or imprisonment.

IV. If any member swears or curses, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the shins.

V. If any member tells stories in the club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie an halfpenny.

VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully, he shall pay his club for him.

VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or smokes.

VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him without the door.

IX. If any member calls another cuckold, he shall be turned out of the club.

X. None shall be admitted into the club that is of the same trade with any member of it.

XI. None of the club shall have his clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a brother-member.

XII. No non-juror shall be capable of being a mem◄

ber.

The morality of this little club is guarded by such wholesome laws and penalties, that I question not but my reader will be as well pleased with them, as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Johnson,* the regulations of an old Roman club cited by Lipsius, or the rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek author.