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Noise and nonsense, jest and blunder :

Now he chats of this and that;

No more the soul-jobber,

No more the sly robber

;

He's now an old woman, who talks to her cat :

Again he starts, he beats his breast,

He rolls his eye, erects his chest ; Hark! hark! the sound begins, "Tis a bargain, and sale for remission of sins.

AIR.

Say, beloved congregation,

In the hour of tribulation,
Did the power of man affray me?
I have labour'd-pay me-pay me!
I have given absolution,

Don't withhold your contribution,
Men and angels should obey me-
Give but freely, you've remission
For all sins without condition;

RECITATIVE.

Again he's lost, again he chatters
Of lace and bobbin, and such matters.
A thickening vapour swells-

Of Adam's fall he tells;

Dark as twice ten thousand hells,
Is the gibberish which he spatters.
Now a most dismal elegy he sings;

Groans, doleful groans are heard about,
The Issacharian rout

Swell the sharp howl, and loud the sorrow rings.

He sung a modern buck, whose end
Was blinded, prejudice and zeal;
In life to every vice a friend,

Unfix'd as fortune on her wheel.
He liv'd a buck, he died a fool;

So let him to oblivion fall,

Who thought a wretched body all,
Untaught in nature's, or the passion's school.

Now again his cornet sounding,
Sense and harmony confounding;
Reason tortur'd, scripture twisted,
Into every form of fancy;
Forms which never yet existed,

And but his oblique opticks can see.

He swears,

He tears;

With sputter'd nonsense now he breaks their ears;
At last the sermon and the paper ends.

He whines, and hopes his well beloved friends

Will contribute their souse,

To pay the arrears for building a house.

Hark, hark! his cry resounds,

Fire and thunder, blood and wounds!

Contribute, contribute,

And pay me my tribute;

Or the Devil, I swear,

Shall hunt ye, as sportsmen would hunt a poor hare.

THE PORT FOLIO.

THE editor of this publication is well known. His talents, his political and literary principles, are themes of admiration, both to the scholar and politician. Having conducted the Port Folio for many years, with uncommon ability and taste, as a WEEKLY magazine ; he now has deemed it expedient to change, and accordingly has advertised his determination of publishing it in future, ONCE A MONTH, under the same title. Without pretending to be acquainted with his motives to this alteration, or with the more extended prospects which a change of situation is calculated to open to his view; whether the novelty of the design is expected to aid its progress, or whether from the light and airy scenes of fancy, he means to descend into the courts of disquisi

tion, and offer us more solid and substantial matter than is possible for a work of only sixteen pages to afford; we are equally disposed to contemplate his attempt with pleasure. Because we are confident that the abilities of Mr. Dennie, whether applied to the subtleties of controversy, the blandishments of taste, the virulence of politicks, or the acuteness of satire, are eminently calculated to effect the object to which they may be directed: and the patronage of the American publick can never be ill bestowed on one, the aim of whose life has been to extend the literature of his country, and to maintain the proud pre-eminence of genius over the grovelling notions of cent per cent. and the calcula tions of city wisdom.

He has brushed away the insects of literature, whether fluttering in the sunshine of publick favour or not; he has penetrated the fortresses of democratick spoilers, and exhibited the feature of the inhabitants for general abhorrence; he has maintained the doctrines of sound philosophy and true religion, against the sophistry of infidelity, and the visions of modern theorists: he has espoused the side of real taste, and endeavoured to infuse the spirit of the belles lettres into the sluggish veins of his countrymen.

His success in obtaining patronage, we fear, has not been so complete as his arguments against absurdities have been irrefragable. We cannot therefore but offer our best wishes, that the general support of his present plan, may be co-extensive with its utility: and although our fears draw the reins upon our hopes, yet they inspire us with sufficient confidence to predict, that the counteance of more extended influence will smile upon his new undertaking. He has laboured in the

vineyard, from the first until the eleventh hour, and has not yet received the wages of his hire. We hope he will go on, however; it may be that brighter skies and more benignant sun-shine will succeed to the cloudy and tempestuous atmosphere which now surrounds us.

ADVERSARIA.

Quid est, quod negligenter scribamus adversaria ?...GIG.

THE hostility of the administration begins now to assume a thundering aspect. Not content with appeals to reason, proclamations, nonimportation bills, Embargoes, and other restrictive energies, they begin to talk of war. However exploding the torpedo, as too destructive a measure, they propose as a most effectual conquest of the British marine, a premium to any set of mutineers who will rise upon their officers, and bring the whole navy into our harbours! They say, besides, that such mutineers shall have the privilege of citizenship immediately conferred

on them without the necessity of residence; since the very act of treachery is so congenial to the administration, as at once to entitle the traitors to be placed in the enviable situation of friends to the powers that be.' If we are to be involved in a war with that power, we may now beg leave to quiet the minds of those misguided citizens who may happen to fear, that when the ships come before our towns, they will undertake to blow them about their ears, that no such thing is to ocNo, no; the government is as sure that the present plan will succeed, as that the Embargo can coerce Great-Britain: and we are pretty certain that one scheme will be just about as effective as the other is proved to have been.

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The Assassin Administration.

CONGRESS is no longer a deliberative assembly; the eastern members are first to be brow-beaten into silent acquiescence, and if that plan fails, to be duelled into eternity. The attempt to assassinate Mr. Gardenier, last year, failed of success; how nearly the plan of dispatching our representative, Mr. Quincy, has been executed, is yet to be determined. The costive ridicule of the Monitor has had as little effect to daunt his determination to expose corruption, as the accumulated indignities which he has been obliged to sustain on the floor of the house. We look upon him with singular attachment, as the man who has"dared to make the attempt to 'pluck bright honour,' by penetrating the vestibule of governmental turpitude; and by making many efforts to rescue from the deep the drowning prosperity of his country. Such a man should always be entitled to the regard of his constituents, from his intrinsick merits; but his persecution should sanctify their esteem.

War with France,

IS strongly recommended in Mr. Gore's Report on Mr. Crowninshield's Resolutions. We have no objection to this course; we think it clear, that with it, all our difficulties with England will be removed; but we are not prepared to say that those difficulties cannot be remov ed without it. How hopeless is our situation, if, either the tone of hostility to Great-Britain must be softened into acquiescence by the administration; or the tone of submission towards France, be changed to that of war. If by a signal mark of the divine favour, we could be made to escape from this perilous crisis, it would afterwards inspire the most chilling recollections, to retrace in our memories the dangers we had passed. When we should tell our children the history of this day; of the relative power of Great-Britain and France; of the Embargo policy, its suicide upon ourselves, its impotence abroad; that after a year, a long year of trial, it was more rigorously and tyrannically enforced than ever; that constitutional and unalienable rights were de

stroyed, or rendered nugatory: when we should tell them too, how the different departments of government were filled; that James Madison was secretary of state; Albert Gallatin, a foreign renegado, the secretary of the treasury; and Thomas Jefferson the president of the union; how their feelings would be excited at the relation. But when we should proceed to inform them that these very men, notwithstanding all their treachery and ignorance of our interests, were again elected into office; they would not believe it possible that such rulers could have survived the exemplary revenge, which their injured countrymen must have inflicted upon them, to rescue their rights, their persons, and happiness, from impending destruction.

THE Chronicle of Monday last, after saying that GOD will seek retribution for innocent blood, observes, "America will also be purished till this is obtained at the hand of justice. I will bring war on that nation which screens the murderer from punishment, says the LORD." This reminds us of a passage of scripture once cited by a country gentleman, who had frequently observed that his neighbour's wife, from motives of squeamishness, refused to take her regular meals with the family. "Do you recollect," says he, "that awful denunciation in scripture, Verily, the woman that refuseth to eat with her family, but satisfieth her hunger privately in the pantry, is an abomination in my sight, saith the Lord." We wish some one, who reads the scriptures more than we do, would inform us where these passages are to be found.

Something truly Wonderful.

THE pastor of the Baptist church in Barnstable informs the publick through the medium of The Witness, a new periodical work published in Boston, that the meetings of his church" are carried on with the greatest solemnity and decorum; so that there has been no outcrying, swooning, &c. in the work." We congratulate these people, and most truly congratulate the publick on this reform, and sincerely pray that it may prevail in other places as well as in Barnstable.

Still more Miraculous.

In a handbill lately published in Connecticut, addressed to the charitable, requesting subscriptions for the purpose of purchasing bibles, to supply the new settlements in the western country, we are informed, "that one of the missionaries in Upper Canada not long since went into a family, and began to read select passages in the bible; (probably in the book of Chronicles or Song of Solomon) he had not read long before he observed the crystal tear' trickling down the cheeks of the

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