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There is no use in the Democrats meeting every four years and just drafting a victim. What they want to start doing again is to nominate an Opponent. In some competitive events it is stu n honor, and you are also the r of considerable cash, to finis > id in a race, but politics is not listed among these games. I wanted to bring elections back where they occupied almost as much importance as the World's Series or the Champion Horseshoe Pitching Contest.

I hit out through New England first. I thought to myself, the best way to find out your opponent is to go among his own people and see if you can't kick over an old skeleton somewhere. I tried to smoke 'em out about Calvin, but "they reckoned as how Calvin was about as economical as you could get 'em, and that was about the only issue there is in Politics."

And come to think about it they were pretty near right. I kicked myself because the Democrats hadn't thought of this economy stuff first. They had been running on it for years. but it was under the title of Lower Taxes. But people had got so used to it that they didn't take it as a platform any more. But they had never thought of changing it and calling it economy. You know a title means an awful lot nowadays.

Next, I went to Boston. But I wasn't smart enough to understand anything there. All I could hear was Mayflower and traditions. I wanted to get in to talk to the Boston Transcript because I had never heard of them being in doubt about anything.

But the office boy said, "What year?"

I said, "What year? What do you mean-what year?"

He replied, "Why, what year did you come out of Harvard."

So I lit for Indiana. If there is a place in the world where a man ought to get a political tip, it's in


Children in Indiana ar born in voting booths and ar weaned on ballots. I hunted up Wi Hays. He happened to be at h home. He had just received h week's pay. He was countin thousand-dollar bills and reviewin Hollywood's latest children's matine production called More Naked Tha Sinned Against.

I asked him what chance the Den ocrats have in the next presidenti election. He started laughing a made a note on the back of a fift thousand-dollar certiûed Adolp Zukor draft, and then replie "Thanks, Will; I was just making note of that remark of yours. It make a great title for a comedy."

I asked, "What will be th Democratic issue?" He threw awa a torn bill and replied, "Why, a they going to have one?”

Then I stepped over into Illino and tried Mr. Lowden. He had a ways appealed to me as being smart man, as I had seen him refus the Vice Presidency. He had alway been more or less interested in th farmer, and has watched the through all their foreclosures:

I said to him, "Mr. Lowden, know it's not your party, but wh can the Democrats possibly use an alibi for a race in '28?"

He said, "Well, it did look l Relief for the Farmer was their o best bet for a few minutes, b Coolidge guessed it as quick as the did and he rushed out to Chica and spoke to the farmers, not o the radio, but personally. Seri cases require serious remedies. told them he knew they were 1 satisfied with conditions, but neith was he. Well, that seemed soothe them back to their m gages."

So I moved on to Washingh There is really only one person Washington you want to go to if want political information. An


elt fortunate in having that one as my friend.

I said, "Alice, do you think Nick would know some possible issue for se in the forthcoming Presidential [andicap?”

"Not if I don't, he wouldn't,” came he apt retort.

"But, Alice, the election is two ears off. Is there any chance of ything showing up in the meanme?" I asked.


She says, "That's our businesssee that nothing shows up. on't even allow Nick to change his e for fear he will make a mistake nd the color scheme will offend >meone. Eveu Mr. Coolidge is ached so he won't commit himself say either yes or no. His reply E, 'I will take it under advisement'."

"Now, Alice, would you mind telng me this: In case Mr. Coolidge 10uld decide he don't want to hold ils office for life, do you think Nick ould be the boy to step in there. Lou know that's what they all say that he has ambition to have the cret-service men guarding him."

"Well, I can't tell you what he ll do. I haven't made up his mind t. Paulina is hardly old enough t to enjcy the social advantages the White House that she would few years later. Nick is young d we are just building now." Just as I was taking my leave, J, I found that Senator Borah next in the conference line. I 1, "Hello, Senator! How is the eld?"

Rotten, ," he replied, without even ng to a point of order.

went over to the Capitol, and run it smack into Congressman Up, of Georgia, suh. He was just rging from that hive of iniquity. Mr. Upshaw, I can't find a board the Democrats to make a platout of. What do you think be their ultimate underpin?"

"Why, we got but one issue, it's the only issue before the country today. It's not only a plank, it's our Gibraltar. We must beat the boozesoaked Republicans and come out flat-footed and pic hetoed on Prohibition. That's test issue since Remember the moose. If

"But, Mr. Upshaw, we already have that.”

king it


"Well, I'm in favor of stronger. I want anoth ment to read as follows: 'ii anybody is caught thinking about drinking, it's a misdemeanor.' And if we can't keep 'em sober on this half of one per cent law, why, let's cut the percentage down. I am for making the amendment read 'An eighth of a quarter of one per cent.' We can beat 'em on that. Show them that America is still composed of decent people. Yes, sir, Prohibition is not only our issue but will always be our issue."

Well, we certainly all appreciate Mr. Upshaw's sincerity in this matter, and the funny thing about it is that he has got it about right, at that.

I was getting desperate by then, when somebody advised me to go to Florida, because they said if you have lost anything or anybody and you don't know where they are, why, they are in Florida. So I went down there. My train was right on time to the minute, 24 hours late into Jacksonville. Then we started South. We pulled out a little ways and the train stopped. I asked a brakeman what the delay was. He said we were waiting for the conductor.

"Where is the conductor?"

"He took a party out to see a subdivision he is interested in. They will be back in a little while if they don't have trouble with the boat."

While we were waiting the engineer passed literature through the train advertising Headlight Shores and Throttle Terraces. The fireman seemed sort of out of place among all this activity. All he had to offer was some resales on Coral Stables. The news butch was selling blue

prints. I asked him for a morning paper.

"Where you from, mister, Oklahoma? Say, I ain't sold a newspaper since Carl Fisher manufactured his first island. But here is a map of Parcel 23 that we are opening Thursday at 3.15 P. M. at Boco Raccoon. It will be all gone by 3.23. We stop the train and show it to you. Put on your old clothes and go along. Henry Ford, Al Smith, Peggy Joyce, John Roach Straton and Vincent Astor have all just started building."

We reached Miami that same month. I went to see Mayor Ed Romph. I had heard he was a live Bird, and I asked him, "Ed, are the Democrats doing anything down here?"

"Democrats? Democrats? I haven't heard of that company around here. Maybe they are operating on the West Coast. There is an awful lot of cheap developing going on over there.

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I then made for Carl Fisher at Miami Beach. I said, "Mr. Fisher, you are a smart man. You knew when to leave Indiana. Can you tell me just how the Democrats stand down here, and what chances they have for the future?"

"Well, we won't sell to them over here at all. We got to be awful careful here. We have to protect our original purchasers. No, they haven't much chance around here. Some places may let the Democrats in, but we are not bothered with 'em much here."

Well, I got disgusted; but I thought I would stop at Tallahassee and see Governor Martin. I got there just in time. He was just selling the last lot on the Capitol grounds. Some New Yorker had already bought the Senate Chamber for a Night Club.

"California! California! G-r-r-r-! And he seemed to go mad and starte chewing a corner stone. "California Our grapefruit is ten times as swee as theirs. California! Bah! Bah They make me sick."

"Governor," I said, "I have come from California and I can't find anything out there in the way of a Democratic Issue. I thought I would come to you."

A Seminole Indian led me awa and apologized for the Governor conduct. He said I just happene to approach the Governor wrong that if I hadn't mentioned Californi perhaps the Governor would hav answered me civilly, and perhap sold me the Governor's office in th Capitol.

I asked this Indian how is it tha he was not selling lots in Florida being a native and knowing th country and its possibilities. H said, "I am an Indian-I have a cor science."

I left that state and hit for Ala bama. They told me there was n use stopping in Georgia, as I ha just left Georgia in Florida. Ther is nobody left in Atlanta but a watch man, who forwards the mail.

I hunted up Bill Brandon, Gover nor of Alabama, and asked him wha is the probable issue. He thre back his shoulders and threw hi chest out and broadcast the follow ing: "Alabama Votes 24 Votes fo Oscar W. Underwood."

Well, I took a last chance ar headed for Austin, Texas. I knock at the Mansion door and asked, " the Governor in?"

"They are," replied the Maid as went in and met all of them. seemed that the Governorship was; kind of family affair. They ha two more terms to go, as they ha two daughters.

I asked Mrs. Ferguson, "Can y tell me what the Democrats he agreed on as an issue in Texas the forthcoming Republican fe vities?"

"The Democrats never agreed anything in Texas. That's why t are Democrats; if they could ag with each other they would be publicans."


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Condensed from Collier's, The National Weekly (May 29, '26)

An Interview with Dr. Charles W. Eliot, by John B. Kennedy

R. CHARLES W. ELIOT, president emeritus of Harvard University, the accepted oracle of his country, looks at the world in his 92nd year and from a vista of four generations of distinguished service sees a prospect more promising than ever for the youth of America.

"If I had the opportunity to say a final word to all the young people of America, it would be this: Don't think too much about yourselves. Try to cultivate the habit of thinking of others; this will reward you. Nourish your minds by good reading, constant reading. Discover what your life work is, work in which you can be happiest. Be unafraid in all things when you know you are in the right. "America must cling to ideals and promote them. Selfishness is no less fatal to national than to individual fulfillment.

"The minute you begin to think of yourself only you are in a bad way. You cannot develop because you are choking the source of development, which is spiritual expansion through thought for others.

"And so with the nation. If we remain in purse-proud isolation we may be secure, but that security will be purchased at the cost of our souls. America must take the responsibility

vested in her nature and be a partner,

not a patron, of all the world.

"Selfishness always brings its own revenge. It cannot be escaped.

"Be unselfish. That is the first and final commandment for those who would be useful, and happy in their usefulness.

"Have no fear for the future. It will take care of itself if we take care of ourselves.

"Too much has been written and talked about the willfulness and wildness of young Americans. I have seen children grow into men and women during four generations. The manners of our youth today are queer, but their morals are no worse than those of their predecessors.

"The freer condition of women politically and in the field of livelihoodearning has brought about social change. I see nothing to regret in that unless it be that American women are getting away from motherhood.

"Our high standard of living, with its impulse to continuous pleasureseeking, carries a penalty. It forces on life rigid economic regulation; it tends to put selfishness at a premium.

"This standard has been steadily improved for working people. The days are happily gone when American workmen received a dollar a day and

were continually menaced by immigrants coming into this country daily by the thousands. I believe the era of struggle between capital and labor is drawing to a close because it is so well known that this struggle is unprofitable for both. I believe unions in labor will pass and combinations among employers will pass, for the common sense of arbitration without organized moral or physical force is becoming more apparent and convincing.

"We have in alcoholism a major evil which must be fought. Although I drank stimulants moderately-beer and wine until I was past 80, becoming teetotaler at the time of the war and remaining so ever since I see distinct advantages for our country in prohibition, if it can be enforced, and I think it can.

"When we had local option in the state of Massachusetts in the old liquor days there was the same sort of surreptitious drinking that now prevails. Women would carry bottles of spirits in their purses and hip flasks were as general in dry territory as they are now.

"I believe it may be advisable to amend the Volstead law slightly to permit the manufacture and sale of light beer; but beyond that it would be dangerous to go.

"Regulation, as practiced by the government in parts of Canada, may abolish bootlegging, but I cannot see that it promotes temperance.

"New generations will find that they can get along without liquor, even though many of the young are now drinkers who might not have been otherwise. But I believe their number is balanced by those who do not drink but who would drink if liquor were legal and cheap. When the discovery is made by young Americans that drink is neither desirable nor useful, prohibition will be truly effective because then it will be an accepted and not a controversial fact.

"We must restore our collapsed religious and moral ideals through a per

sistent will to culture. Our youth should read, read, read. Science may facilitate the use of the senses in acquiring knowledge-through metion pictures and the radio. But, I do not believe these will supplant the surest process of instruction-reading. While science may improve the ease and pleasure of life it can never replace the will to learn as an instrument of culture.

"American youth has its opportunity. I hope for a nation of cultured men and of women who have the greatest of feminine attributes-charm.

"A friend of mine recently returned from an archeological expedition in Greece. I asked him what most impressed him there and he said that in obscure parts of the Hellenic country where the ancient Greek blood survived, he was impressed by the charm of the peasant women working the fields, women who walked like queens and who carried themselves even in menial tasks with inborn dignity. That is the most desirable asset for women-native charm. As our country grows older and enlightenment progresses, that will come."

I left this man who knows the world so well and the part men must play in it. He arose slowly and had I not seen his face, I should have thought he was in pain as he struggled down a winding path to the foot of a cliff where he entered a boat for the daily sail that is his only physical recreation in his great age. I thought of the thousands of young men who had passed under the eyes of this great scholar, of the millions into whose lives the influence of his thought had penetrated. A citizen who had seen his country rent by civil war to rise from torture and error to prosperity unprecedented in all history.

"We may not meet again," he had said to me softly, but with no trace of sadness, "for I fancy I have not long to wait now."

Going, I lifted my hat in reverence to this old man gazing over the eternal


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