self from place to place with a swiftness almost equal to thought, yet I was not likely either to please or to offend mankind, both of which were equally fatal; and I hoped to spend my life in peace, by escaping the notice of the most cruel of all

creatures.

'But I did not long enjoy the comfort of these reflections. I was one morning disturbed by an unusual noise, and perceived the ground about me to shake. I immediately worked my way upward to discover the cause; and the moment I appeared above the surface, I was eagerly snatched up by a man who had stuck a dung-fork into the ground, and moved it backward and forward to produce the effect that had now happened. I was put into a broken pan with many other associates in misfortune, and soon after disposed of to one of those gentle swains who delight in angling. This person carried us the next morning to the brink of a river, where I presently saw him take out one of my companions, and, whistling a tune, pass a barbed hook through the whole length of his body, entering it at the head and bringing it out at the tail. The wretched animal writhed itself on the bloody hook, in torture which cannot be conceived by man, nor felt by any creature that is not vital in every part. In this condition he was suspended in the water as a bait for fish, till he was, together with the hook on which he hung, swallowed by an eel. While I was beholding this dreadful spectacle, I made many reflections on the great inequality between the pleasure of catching the prey, and the anguish inflicted on the bait. But these reflections were presently after lost, in the same agonies of which I had been a spectator.

You will not have room in this paper to relate all that I suffered from the thoughtless barbarity of

mankind, in a cock, a lobster, and a pig: let it suffice to say, that I suffered the same kind of death with those who are broken upon the wheel, I was roasted alive before a slow fire, and was scourged to death with small cords, to gratify the wanton appetite of luxury, or contribute to the merriment of a rabble.' Thus far I had written as amanuensis to an invisible dictator; when my dream still continuing, I felt something tickle my wrist, and turning my eye from the paper to see what it was, I discovered a flea, which I immediately caught and killed, by putting it into the candle. At the same instant the flea vanished, and a young lady of exquisite beauty stood before me. 'Thoughtless wretch,' said she, 'thou hast again changed the state of my existence, and exposed me to still greater calamities than any that I have yet suffered. As a flea I was thy monitor, and as a flea I might have escaped thy cruelty if I had not intended thy instruction. But now to be concealed is impossible, and it is therefore impossible to be safe. The eyes of desire are upon me, and to betray me to infamy and guilt will be the toil of perseverance and the study of reason. though man is still my enemy, though he assails me with more violence and persists with more obstinacy, I have yet less power of resistance; there is a rebel in my own bosom who will labour to give me up, whose influence is perpetual, and perpetual influence is not easily surmounted. Publish, however, what I have communicated; if any man shall be reclaimed from a criminal inattention to the felicity of inferior beings, and restrained from inflicting pain by considering the effect of his actions, I have not suffered in vain. But as I am now exposed not only to accidental and casual evils, as I am not only in danger from the frolics of levity, but from the designs of cunning; to atone for the in

But

jury which thou hast done me, let the Adventurer warn the sex of every wile that is practised for their destruction; and deter men from the attempt, by displaying the aggravated guilt, and shameless disingenuity of assuming an appearance of the most ardent and tender affection, only to overwhelm with unutterable distress the beauty whom love has made credulous, and innocence keeps unacquainted with suspicion.'

While I listened to this address, my heart throbbed with impatience; and the effort that I made to reply, awaked me.

N° 6. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1752.

Nunc auctionem facere decretum est mihi.
Foras necessum est, quicquid habeo, vendere.
Adeste sultis, præda erit præsentium.
Logos ridiculos vendo.

PLAUT.

I am obliged to part with my whole stock, and am resolved to sell it by auction: you that will buy make haste, here will be excellent pennyworths: my merchandise is jests and witticisms.

LAST Sunday morning I was disturbed very early by an old crony, a brother of the quill, as he calls himself, who burst into my chamber, and running to my bed-side, Get up, my dear friend,' said he, pressing my hand with great eagerness; I have such news for you! Here's your clothes; make haste, let me beg of you.'

I had been used, at each return of the sabbath, to receive a visit from my old acquaintance about dinner time; but I could not imagine what had induced him to give me this morning salutation. However, I huddled on my clothes, and had scarce seated him by the fire-side in my study, when flinging down a paper very much blotted upon the table, 'There,' says he, there's a scheme for you, my old boy! I am made for ever-Read it-I am made for

ever.'

I very well knew my friend's foible: he has learning, a great deal of vivacity, and some judgment; but he wants the necessary steadiness for serious application. He is continually in pursuit of new projects, but will not allow himself time to think of putting them in execution. He has contracted with every eminent bookseller in town for works of which he had only conceived the design, and scarce ever proceeded beyond the title page and preface. He is a professed writer; and of a genius so extensive, that all subjects are alike to him; but as he cannot submit to the drudgery of correctness, his performances are hurried over in so slovenly a manner, that they hardly procure him a bare subsistence. He is, therefore, perpetually exclaiming against the tyranny of the trade; and laments, that merit should be so much discouraged by the ignorance or envy of the

town.

4

I had often experienced the fertility of his invention, in forming such projects as were easy in theory but impossible in the practice; I therefore expected nothing less than such another whimsical contrivance as his last, for making new boards out of shavings;' but how was I surprised, when I took up his paper, and saw at the top of it the following advertisement!

On the

day of

next

Will be sold by AUCTION,

A curious and valuable Collection of Manuscripts (warranted originals) in Prose and Verse:

Being the entire Stock in Trade of
TIMOTHY SPINBRAIN, Author,
Leaving off Business.

As I could not help smiling at the conceit, my friend understood it as a mark of my approbation; and snatching the sheet out of my hand, Well,' says he, don't you think this will free me from the impertinence of duns, and the servility of suing to those unconscionable vultures the booksellers, for more copy-money? Why, man, I shall raise an estate by it, I have such an infinite number of tracts on political, polemical, philosophical, physiological, œconomical, religious, and miscellaneous subjects. My manuscripts, let me tell you, are of greater utility, and consequently more valuable than those in the Vatican or Bodleian libraries.' He then proceeded to descant on the particulars of this plan; not forgetting to enliven his discourse with many sprightly sallies against the retailers of the works of the learned, those blood-suckers, as he called them, of the literary commonwealth.

6 Sir,' continued he, I intend to strike off an impression of twenty thousand copies of my catalogue, to be distributed among all the lovers of literature throughout the three kingdoms; and I shall take care to circulate a sufficient number among the virtuosi in Holland, France, Italy, Spain, Germany, and elsewhere. I will just mention to you some of the chief articles that enrich my collection.