visions of divine things which I had already seen, and which appeared to be daily discovered to me, in reading the Holy Scriptures, and contemplating the works of God in nature, that I had in myself no power to stop.

On the other hand, I was strongly restrained by doubt and fear, and by the recent recollection of the horrors of mind which I had just passed through. This, therefore, was the proper time for the enemy to endeavour to bewilder me in the mazes of metaphysical speculation; and at the same time, to make me suspicious of the truth of my clue; and lastly, to make the distressing consequences of my want of faith so many specious, though false arguments, for my quitting the study of Scripture, nature, providence, and my own heart; a study to me so full of thorns, snares, and pits. But the Lord, I believe, only permitted the machinations of my enemy to take place for my correction and instruction. His gracious spirit, ever present to preserve me, pointed out clearly all my errors and absurdities, by their afflicting consequences, both to my body and soul; and thereby taught me gradually, how necessary it was to preserve the medium line, and the right angle of moderation and truth, in every case *.

90

That is to say, the right-angled triangle, or 45 4 45 and the perpendicular, which divides the base into two equal

The consequence of the superstitious errors and delusions into which I fell, was this, that I became continually tormented, alternately, by opposite persuasions and convictions, or spirits of belief and unbelief, whose struggles within me, rent my soul, and disordered my body. On one hand, the same lights of reason, and nature, and glow of sentiments, which under God had been the instruments of my conversion, and which I found to agree entirely with the truths of Holy Scripture, were still poured without my option into my soul *; and I both saw and felt, that they had every appearance of truth. But as I was so strongly prejudiced against them, through the artifices of my enemy, and feared that they might even be his own snares, I therefore endeavoured to resist their admission, and even to drive them out with all my might. This incessant and violent conflict almost overset my reason for a time. duration was long, and only yielded by slow degrees to repeated and severe experience, and the light of the law of perfect truth and liberty.

Its

In consequence of the exhortations to tem

parts, are symbols of perfect moderation and freedom from all extremes; or, in other words, of perfect moral as well as natural truth.

* I confess, that the lights of reason and nature, without the teaching of the Holy Spirit, could not convert me; and I allow that the head may be convinced, without the conversion of the heart; but I pray for both.

perance in the New Testament, I resolved to be more rigid and watchful over all my appetites; and as the custom of smoking a hooka appeared to me to be" making provision for the flesh to fulfil the lusts thereof," I determined, therefore, to relinquish this practice. I accordingly did so, though with some difficulty and painful effort, and left it off for about four months, when necessity obliged me to resume it for my health's sake. I also made it a rule, always to prefer simple plain food in moderation; for I argued, that the foods of the body being emblems of the foods of the soul, therefore all rich pampering food was typical of pride and vanity, &c. and gave to the body the same inflammatory temperament that the corresponding vices did to the soul. In this reasoning I considered myself supported by the doctrine of St. Paul; who says, "Christ our passover is

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sacrificed for us; therefore, let us keep the

'feast, not with old leaven, neither with the "leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the "unleavened bread of sincerity and truth." 1 Cor. v. In the same manner I resolved thenceforward to use wine only as a cordial, to take only one kind, and in great moderation, perhaps two glasses in the course of a week.

Had I stopped here, I should have avoided many disagreeable and distressing events which befel me; but then I should not have gained

the experience which was communicated to me by those very events; and which taught me by slow and painful degrees, that in man, the point of moderation is the point of true wisdom; and that this point is discovered to us only by the practical knowledge of good and evil, in the course of events.

It is worthy of observation, that I found great benefit to my health from this regimen; for though my bodily strength was not so great, so audacious, so libertine as it were, yet my appetite was always keen, and my stomach clear; my intellect was also, I found, much more quick and clear, in proportion to my temperance; and what was more valuable to me than all the rest, the fires of the evil heart, and the horrors of conscience, which I had formerly suffered so severely, seemed to be subdued, and to have lost their sting, which consisted in the sense of guilt. But as I believed then, upon the best grounds, that I had received pardon for all my past sins; so, through this faith, the peace of God took possession of my heart, and drove away the furies, the harpies of hell, which had so long made it a den of dragons,

As I have already observed, I struggled hard to exclude from my mind all those internal as well as external visions of supposed truth and beauty in nature, which were still

poured abundantly and involuntarily into my soul, and confirmed by the joint testimony of reason, imagination, and sentiment, as well as divine revelation; but the more I opposed them by argument, the stronger they became, and more self-evidently true to my conscience.

It was particularly in marching through large tracts of a beautiful country, diversified by mountains, fruitful valleys, extensive plains, rivers, and the distant ocean, that all these glorious witnesses for God, these silent eloquent parables of nature were explained with a wonderful clearness, and transporting beauty and harmony, to my soul*. They all spoke the language of moral and religious truth; in short, the language of the Holy Scriptures.

The lofty mountains which bounded the distant horizon, whose tops rose above the clouds, and whose bases were firm as the centre, which protected and fertilized the lowly vallies, reminded me of the power and manifestation of the Deity. But when I thought of exploring those heights without a guide, the fears of wild beasts, serpents, pits, rivers, quicksands, alligators, impervious jungles, &c. &c. all so fre

When the writer mentions the soul, he generally means the united mind and heart; which two appear to him to include reason, imagination, sentiment or affection, memory, will, &c. &c, &c.,.