squandered away all the profits of my two posts, as well as my military pay and allowances, upon dancing-girls, and kept mistresses: in maintaining a crowd of idle, useless, dishonest, and profligate servants; in giving extravagant entertainments, and musical parties: so that when I reflected upon the sums that were spent, and the foolish manner in which they had been consumed, I was quite overwhelmed for a time with vexation at my owo folly, and a sense of guilt, for having thus abused the valuable gifts of Providence.

Being at length roused to serious reflection, and to take some effectual steps towards the relief of my sister, the first retrenchment which I determined to make from my current expenses, was the stated sum which I had hitherto allowed my mistresses. I accordingly parted with the one whom I at that time maintained, and resolved, if it were possible, to abstain from all such connexions from that day forward; not because I esteemed them irreligious, but only unsatisfactory and inconvenient. This appeared to me by no means improbable, because I felt then a great degree of indifference, to say the least, to every thing of the kind; and most providentially I was enabled to persevere in this resolution so far, that I have not thus offended since that time (viz. 1788).

A celebrated poet says, justly,

"Habits are soon acquir'd; but if we strive
"To leave them off, 'tis being flayed alive."

So I found it by experience. For a considerable time after I ceased to keep, my corrupt propensities appeared to have gained double force from being restrained. Yet the unknown grace of God enabled me to persevere. It was, however, impossible for me not to be sensible, at particular times, that the loud importunity of my carnal corruptions proceeded partly from the want of discipline in my diet. I therefore made it a standing rule, which I never would break through, not to eat supper. I found the great advantage of this regulation very quickly, both in body and spirit, which became more cool, well tempered, and peaceful. The former was less rebellious; and the latter was more clear, serene, and rational.

After I had persevered some time in this course of comparative temperance and chastity, I perceived, with high satisfaction, that I had made a sensible progress. Being therefore persuaded that my speculation was perfectly practicable, and that perhaps I had already surmounted the greatest difficulties, I was fully encouraged to persevere, and reap all the valuable fruits of my abstinence, small even as it was. These, as I have mentioned above, were

not only corporeal, but also mental. They consisted partly in a clearness of understanding, and a kind of spiritual discernment*, which made me every day, I knew not how, discern more and more the beauty, harmony, divine wisdom and goodness, displayed in all the visible works of God, and their relation and analogy, or proportion, with the invisible things of my own soul within me. I found, in short, that there was not any natural object upon which I could reflect with rumination, (if I may be permitted to use the expression) without finding a wonderful resemblance in it to some quality, or faculty, or operation of the heart and mind; and that all the works of creation spoke the language of reason, and moral truth, in different modes suitable to our different organs, through which they were conveyed; but that they were ultimately the same things, almost infinitely varied and repeated.

In this manner, the whole creation, so far as it was brought within my sphere of mental vision, was gradually converted into an im

* By spiritual, I do not mean evangelical; I mean the united action, or co-operation of reason, imagination, and sentiment, under the guidance (as I believe) of the spirit of truth moving on the chaos of sin and infidelity. St. Paul speaks of a spiritual mind as well as heart; also of spiritual wickedness, as well as of spiritual holiness. In short, he uses the word in its proper metaphysical sense, and not in a partial view.

mense table covered with food and medicine for my soul. Thus was I gradually and unconsciously, every day, approaching nearer and nearer to the light of divine truth, and to true happiness.

I continued to prosecute my studies, and comparison of spiritual (or, perhaps I should say, of moral and intellectual) things with natural things; and as I gained intellectual strength and clearness by degrees, I extended my researches by the help of natural science and philosophy, beginning with the most beautiful and attractive subjects. My fondness for poetical beauties, which I considered as a kind of natural inspiration, under the divine appointment, made me take greater pleasure than ever in reading Thomson's Seasons; a book that I had always greatly admired, but in which I now perceived and tasted a thousand newly-discovered beauties.

Among other works, I was delighted exceedingly with a fragment of Le Cat's Essays on the Five Senses, or, as I esteemed and called them, the five languages, doors, and avenues of the soul, the gates of the human metropolis; where reigns the head, or king, of the whole human system. I apprehend that David means ultimately the same thing when he speaks prophetically of "the gates of the daughter of "Zion," who in a mystical sense is the king's

wife. Of all the senses, I think it may be said that they are "alter et idem;" that is to say, as much as one language is like to another in its meaning and ultimate scope, although they are different in form. They show our hearts, as well as our minds, what is within us, by inducing comparison of it with those shadows or images of the same things, which we thus continually and variously, or in manifold forms, receive from without. Thus Solomon, who was the greatest master of the mysteries of analogy that ever lived, and by an acknowledged divine gift, says, "Also, he hath set the world in their heart, so "that no man can find out the work that God "doeth from the beginning to the end.”—Ecclesiastes, iii. For none but God can know the whole heart, or the whole earth, or world, from center, to the extreme circumference of the creation; or, as the Scripture says, "from the be'ginning to the end."

In short, it pleased God, who seeth not as man seeth, and who worketh all things after the pleasure of his own will, and who leadeth the blind by a way which they knew not, to open gradually the eyes of my understanding, and to let me perceive a little part of the universal analogy subsisting between all those different modes or languages; I also continued to believe that they were all founded in mathematical proportion, which I therefore concluded