I cannot forbear to insert the following Letter, as its originality entitles it to notice. SIR; LORD CHESTERFIELD has prescribed certain forms, as necessary for the preservation of good manners; I on the contrary, think it no less incumbent on myself to lay down certain rules for conceit and ill-behaviour, necessary for all young coxcombs, who wish to render themselves remarkable, and according to the newest fashion. Of whatever persons your society may be com posed, instantly place yourself in the most con spicuous light. Talk to each individual on the very subject which he is least acquainted with, not forgetting to dwell upon those peculiar cir cumstances which are best calculated to affect his modesty, or hurt his feelings. Talk of physic to a lawyer, of the classics to an architect, of bishoprics to a disappointed parson, of marriage to an old maid, and of the treasury bench to a statesman out of place. Should an unfortunate pun be produced, preserve a steady coolness in your countenance: should a pathetic history be related, labour to conceal a laugh. Never come till one hour after your appointment, and make up the lost time by staying after every one else is departed. Take no notice of the attempts which others may make to be agreeable; but overwhelm silence and modesty with noise, conceit, and affectation. An occasional whisper may be introduced with success. In addition to all, never forget YOURSELF, and your company will be as fashionably disagreeable, as that Of your humble Servant, Not to command, INURBANUS. How far these directions are to observed, my readers are best able to determine for themselves, That they are admirably well calculated to render a person eminently disagreeable, nobody, I think, can deny. And should any one, as I fear there are too many, be ambitious of attaining this glorious distinction, let him only follow the ex ample of INURBANUS with assiduity, and one month will undoubtedly put him in possession of this delightful acquisition. On the contrary, should a person desire to meet with universal love, respect and esteem, let all his actions be directly opposite to these regulations, and I will insure: his success. For modesty, humility, and unaffected behaviour, are virtues indispensably requisite to form a polite man, and an agreeable companion. THE MINIATURE, NUMB. XXIII. MONDAY, November 26, 1804. Turpia quid referam vanæ mendacia linguæ, OVID AMOR. 3. 11. 21. Why tell the falshoods of a silly tongue, A Celebrated author in one of his humorous and quaint productions, has supposed the human soul to partake of the nature of a Plano-cylindrical Speculum, or looking glass; that the plain side was formed by the Deity, but that the devil afterwards wrought the other side into a cylindrical figure. The plain side represents objects just as they are; but the cylindrical side by the rules of Catoptrics, must needs represent true objects false, and false objects true: and upon this he asserts that the whole system and success of the well-known art of LYING depends; for the first of these bad qualities he alledges to be the foundation of the malicious lie, the second of the miraculous. Some have reduced the whole body of lies into two divisions, which are commonly received, viz. the white and the black. But these in time became so blended and confused together, that it was, and still exists in most cases a task of con siderable difficulty, and in many of actual impossibility fairly and properly to place them under their seperate denominations. Others again have divided them into the Additory, Detractory and Translatory. The two first of these terms can stand in need of no ex planation to render them intelligible. The third it may be demed expedient to explain according to the best authority. "The Translatory is a lie that transfers the merit of a man's good actions to another who is in himself less deserving; or, transfers the demerit of a bad action from the true author to a person, who is in himself more |