This is the fairy land ;-0, spite of spites! -
We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites 16;
If we obey them not, this will ensue,
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.
Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st

not? Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!

Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am not I?
Ant. S. I think, thou art, in mind, and so am I.
Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind, and in my

shape.
Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.
Dro. S.

No, I am an ape. Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass. Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for

grass. 'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be, But I should know her as well as she knows me.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the

eye
and

weep,
Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn.-
Come, sir, to dinner: Dromio, keep the gate.-
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you 17 of a thousand idle pranks:
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.-
Come, sister:-Dromio, play the porter well.

Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? Sleeping or waking? mad, or well-advis'd ? Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd!

I'll say as they say, and persever so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your

pate.
Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

[Exeunt.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus,

ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.
Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse

us all;
My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours :
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carkanet "8,
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold;
And that I did deny my wife and house :-
Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by

this? Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what

I know: That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to

show:

If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave

were ink, Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.

Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.
Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear
By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.
I should kick, being kick’d; and, being at that

pass, You would keep from my heels, and beware of an

ass 19. Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'Pray God,

our cheer May answer my good will, and your good welcome

here. Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your wel.

come dear.
Ant. E. O signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,
A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.
Bal. Good meat, sir, is common;

that
every

churl affords. Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's

nothing but words. Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a

merry feast.

Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more spar

ing guest: But though my cates be mean, take them in good

part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better

heart.

But, soft; my door is lock'd; Go bid them let

us in.

Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian,

Jen'!
Dro. S. [within.) Mome, malt-horse, capon, cox-

comb, idiot, patch ! Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the

hatch: Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for

such store, When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the

door. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My

master stays in the street. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest

he catch cold on's feet. Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the

door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell

me wherefore. Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not

din'd to-day. Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again,

when you may. Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from

the house I owe? Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my

name is Dromio. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine

office and my name;