course you see why he is a thief, and how his example confirms our noble science. convenient. At last comes along a case which is apparently a settler, for there is a little brain with vast and varied powers, -a case like that of Byron, for instance. Then comes out the grand reservereason which covers everything and renders it simply impossible ever to corner a Phrenologist. "It is not the size alone, but the quality of an organ, which determines its degree of power." Oh! Oh! I see. The argument may be briefly stated thus by the Phrenologist. "Heads win, tails you lose." Well, that's It must be confessed that Phrenology has a certain resemblance to the Pseudo-sciences. I did not say it was a Pseudo-science. I have often met persons who have been altogether struck up and amazed at the accuracy with which some wandering Professor of Phrenology had read their characters written upon their skulls. Of course the Professor acquires his information solely through his cranial inspections and manipulations. What are you laughing at? (to the audience). But let us just suppose, for a moment, that a tolerably cunning fellow, who did not know or care anything about Phrenology, should open a shop and undertake to read off people's characters at fifty cents or a dollar apiece. Let us see how well he could get along without the "organs." I will suppose myself to set up such a shop. I would invest one hundred dollars, more or less, in casts of brains, skulls, charts, and other matters that would make the most show for the money. That would do to begin with. I would then advertise myself as the celebrated Professor Brainey, or whatever name I might choose, and wait for my first customer. My first customer is a middle-aged man. I look at him,-ask him a question or two so as to hear him talk. When I have got the hang of him, I ask him to sit down, and proceed to fumble his skull, dictating as follows: SCALE FROM I TO IO. (Aside observations.) Most men love the conflicting sex, and all men love to be told they do. Don't you see that he has burst off his lowest waistcoat button with feeding-hey? Of course. A middle-aged Yankee. Hat well brushed. Hair ditto. Mark the effect of that plus sign. His face shows that. That'll please him. Conscientiousness, 8 1-2. That fraction looks first-rate. Bret Harte, of California, is a writer of exquisite humor. It is peculiar humor, too—somewhat representative of life on the Pacific Slope, where human nature is stripped of its mask and plays on its "Harp of a Thousand Strings" to suit nobody but the player. The odds and ends of the world may have gathered in the Golden Land, but time has sifted people there as it sifts them everywhere-the best only coming to the surface. The vigor of the California press has excited surprise in the elder States; but it would be surprising if vigor in intellectual exercises were there wanting, where the very air is charged with elements of excitement. Bret Harte's serious whimsicalities are, in no small degree, a reflex of the life around him, and realizing this, we have a better key for their interpretation. In his "Heathen Chinee" this peculiar humor is typified. The piece is not especially good for recitation, being devoid of any action of limbs or facial muscles; but, when repeated with an air of serious surprise, or earnest dissemblance, it will create a laugh more hearty than some things more demonstrative in words and action. THE HEATHEN CHINEE. (8) (9) (12).—Overland Monthly. Which I wish to remark And my language is plain- And for tricks that are vain, The heathen Chinee is peculiar, Which the same I would rise to explain. Ah Sin was his name; And I shall not deny In regard to the same What that name might imply; But his smile it was pensive and child-like, Not unlike the last example is this story or lyric of Brian O'Linn, done into Latin, in its serio-comic quality. The Latin student will, however, find in some of its lines, language which will suggest expressive gesture, The piece is a good study. BRIAN O'LINN. BRIAN O'LINN. (7) (10) (22) (31).—Anon. Bryanus O'Linn Cocragiensis erat natus, Semel Bryanus O'Linn braccâ indigebat, Clarus O'Linn habuit nigrum senem equum, Inquiens, "Referre certus sum uxorem mecum." Equum tunc ascendit, nec cessavit equitare, Mater dixit, "Filiarum unam tibi dare Volo," sed O'Linn clamavit, "Ambas, ambas, care." "Jungat augur nuptiis manus?" ait puella. Bryanus consentit, et mulier tenella Conjux fit cum osculavit rosea labella. Bryanus, et uxor, et uxoris mater (mire!) Bryanus et fœminæ transeuntes ponsem, 55 Still another specimen of the serio-comic is this parody on the "Burial of Sir John Moore." It must be recited with a mock gravity which no laugh in the audience will dissipate. If the speaker would add to its effect by mock serious action, the stanzas are all suggestive. Pronounce the lines slowly, not drawlingly, as all serious discourse should be pro nounced. Not a laugh was heard, nor a joyous note, We married him quickly, to save his fright, And we sighed as we stood by the lamp's dim light, To think that a bachelor free and bright, Few and short were the words we said, Slowly and sadly we marched him down, And we never have heard or seen the poor man The burlesque is apt to be coarse-its drollery descending to vulgarism. This is the character of most all professed "Negro Sermons" and Speeches, and though many of them are highly laughable, it is at the expense of good taste in humor and of propriety in discourse. To such a degree does this censure hold good, that it may be said all specimens of negro oratory are objectionable for the student's use. So regarding the matter, we withhold such examples, and find our studies in burlesque in other directions. ever, The following travesty of Victor Hugo is capital, as such; but by the great mass of hearers will not be recognized for what it is. It will, howif well reproduced, with all seriousness of mien and tone, create considerable amusement. The student must bear in mind our injunctions, already given, to preserve his own composure. The piece will bear no little gesture and bodily movement, but these must be well timed. The antitheses are numerous. These will afford moments for good emotional effect. Thus or this The ocean roars! The cat purrs! Jealousy has been called the green-eyed monster ! are instances,—the first or serious saying to be announced oracularly, or in a full round tone; the second, or contrast, in a lower and half-whimsical tone. The last sentences in interjections are finely suggestive of the mock heroic in attitude and action. The whole example is well worthy of study, and, if well delivered, will not fail to create a school "sensation." THE CAT.—A STUDY. (4) (5) (8) (33).—“ After" Victor Hugo. It is the feline embodiment of one of the profoundest human |