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A VARIETY OF PLAIN AND IMPORTANT MAXIMS, WELL WOR-
THY OF BEING REMEMBERED BY EVERY
MAN IN THE NATION.
FOR THE TRUSTEES OF THE PUBLISHING FUND,
HILLIARD AND METOALF, CAMBRIDGE.
agents of the Publishing Funda
ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES
STATED IN MAXIMS
If you wish to be always thirsty, be a Drunkard; for the oftener and more you drink, the oftener and more thirsty you will be.
If you seek to prevent your friends raising you in the world, be a Drunkard ; for that will defeat all their efforts.
If you would effectually counteract your own attempts to do well, be a Drunkard ; and you will not be disappointed.
It you wish to repel the endeavours of the whole hue man race to raise you to character, credit, and pros. perity, be a Drunkard ; and you will most assuredly triumph.
If you are determined to be poor, be a Drunkard ; and you will soon be ragged and pennyless.
If you would wish to starve your family, be a Drunk. ard ; for that will consume the means of their support.
If you would be imposed on by knaves, be a Drunkard; for that will make their task easy.
If you would wish to be robbed, be a Drunkard; which will enable the thief to do it with more safety. If
you would wish to blunt your senses, be a Drunk. ard ; and you will soon be more stupid than an ass.
If you would become a fool, be a Drunkard ; and you will soon lose your understanding.
If you wish to unfit yourself for rational intercourse, be a Drunkard ; for that will render you wholly unfit for it.
If you are resolved to kill yourself, be a Drunkard ; that being a sure mode of destruction."
If you would expose both your folly and secrets, be a Drunkard ; and they will soon run out as the liquor runs in.
If you think you are too strong, be a Drunkard; and you will soon be subdued by so powerful an enemy.
If you would get rid of your money without knowing how, be a Drunkard; and it will vanish insensibly.
If you would have no resource when past labour hut a workhouse, be a Drunkard ; and you will be unable to provide any.
If you are determined to expel all comfort from your house, be a Drunkard ; and you will soon do it effectuully.
If you would be always under strong suspicion, be a Drunkard ; for, little as you think it, all agree that
those who steal from themselves and their families will rob others.
If you would be reduced to the necessity of shunning your creditors, be a Drunkard ; and you will soon have reason to prefer the by-paths to the public streets.
If you would be a dead weight on the community, and “cumber the ground," be a Drunkard; for that will render you useless, helpless, burthensome, and expensive.
If you would be a nuisance, be a Drunkard; for the approach to a drunkard is like that to a dunghill.
If you would be hated by your family and friends, be a Drunkard ; and you will soon be more than disagreeable.
If you would be a pest to society, be a Drunkard ; and you
will be avoided as infectious, you
do not wish to have your faults reformed, continue to be a Drunkard ; and you will not care for good advice.
If you would smash windows, break the peace, get your bones broken, tuinble under carts and horses, and be locked up in watch-houses, be a Drunkard ; and it will
do not succeed. If
you wish all your prospects in life to be clouded, be a Drunkard ; and they will soon be dark enough.
If you would destroy your body, be a Drunkard ; as drunkenness is the mother of disease.
If you mean to ruin your soul, be a Drunkard ; that you may be excluded from heaven,