Lord, didst Thou know that I was following Thee? I weak and small Yet Thy true lover, mean tho' I must be I thought I had been strong to die for Thee; Thy word of warning spoken patiently: Till Thy bruised heart I grieved. Once I had urged: "Lord, this be far from Thee :"Rebel to light, It needed first that Thou shouldst die for me Or ever I could plumb and see Love's lovely depth and height. Alas that I should trust myself, not Thee; I faithless slumberer in Gethsemane, Blinded and rash; who instantly Put trust, but in a sword. Ah Lord, if even at the last in Thee I had put faith, I might even at the last have counselled me, To sting Thee in Thy death. Alas for me, who bore to think on Thee And yet to lie: While Thou, O Lord, didst bear to look on me Goaded by fear to blasphemy, And break my heart and die. No balm I find in Gilead, yet in Thee I find a balm that wrings and comforts me: My balm, mine only balm. O blessed John who standeth close to Thee, And Thine own mother praying silently: Yea, blessed above women she, Now blessed even as then. And blessed the scorned thief who hangs by Thee, Whose thirsting mouth Thirsts for Thee more than water, whose eyes see, Whose lips confess in extasy Nor feel their parching drouth. Like as the hart the water brooks I Thee I stretch to Thee; O kind Lord, pity me: I driest of dry lands. Lord, I am standing far far off from Thee; Hanging with Thee upon the accursed tree; The nails, the thorns, pierce Thee and me: Scarce in Thy throne and kingdom; yet with Thee In Thy forsaking, in Thine agony : Love crucified, behold even me, Me also bear Thy cross. Z St. James, (STYLED THE GREAT), APOSTLE. 25 JULY. The Sacred Text. E saw James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, who also were in the ship mending their nets. And straightway He called them and they left their father Zebedee in the ship with the hired servants, and went after Him.-St. Mark i. 19, 20. Forthwith, when they were come out of the synagogue, they entered into the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John.-St. Mark i. 29. They beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink. Simon Peter was astonished at the draught of the fishes which they had taken: and so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon.-St. Luke v. 7, &c. He ordained twelve, that they should be with Him, and that He might send them forth to preach, and to have power to heal sicknesses, and to cast out devils: James the son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James; and He surnamed them Boanerges, which is, The sons of thunder.—St. Mark iii. 14, &c. He suffered no man to follow Him, save Peter, and James, and John the brother of James. And He cometh to the house of the ruler of the synagogue.—St. Mark v. 37, 38. He took Peter and John and James, and went up into a mountain to pray. And as He prayed, the fashion of His countenance was altered, and His raiment was white and glistering. And, behold, there talked with Him two men, which were Moses and Elias: who appeared in glory, and spake of His decease which He should accomplish at Jerusalem. But Peter and they that were with him were heavy with sleep: and when they were awake, they saw His glory, and the two men that stood with Him. . . . There came a Cloud, and overshadowed them: and they feared as they entered into the Cloud. And there came a Voice out of the Cloud, saying, This is My Beloved Son: hear Him. And when the Voice was past, Jesus was found alone. And they kept it close, and told no man in those days any of those things which they had seen.— St. Luke ix. 28, &c. They went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for Him. And they did not receive Him, because His Face was as though He would go to Jerusalem. And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt Thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did? But He turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.—St. Luke ix. 52, &c. Then came to Him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons, worshipping Him, and desiring a certain thing of Him. And He said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto Him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on Thy right hand, and the other on the left, in Thy kingdom. But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto Him, We are able. And He saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of My cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with but to sit on My right hand, and on My left, is not Mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of My Father. And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren.— St. Matthew xx. 20, &c. As He went out of the temple, one of His disciples saith unto Him, Master, see what manner of stones and what buildings are here! And Jesus answering said unto him, Seest thou these great buildings? there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down. And as He sat upon the mount of Olives over against the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled? And Jesus answering them began to say, Take heed lest any man deceive you.-St. Mark xiii. 1, &c. Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane. And He took with Him Peter and the two |