at you in my sleeve, for swallowing such nonsense, it is possible I may gain what will enable me to laugh at you in good

earnest.

ADVANCES.

When these are made on the woman's side, they either denote an excessive superiority, or excessive love.

A woman who has made advances, never remembers them without rage, unless she has reason to remember them with pleasure. Congreve, it seems, understood this well. He makes one of the characters in the "Mourning Bride,” deliver the following sentiment :

"Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor hell no fury like a woman scorn'd."

ADVENTURES.

Adventures in gallantry have lost much of their attraction, from the want of their former seasoning-hopes, fears, and dangers.-Assignations are now so easily formed, that a man must know but little of the world, who imagines there is any need of a masquerade to make them at. Such frolics are just as outre, and out of date, as rope ladders, long cloaks, and dark lanterns.

AGE.

This word as applied to years, is very seldom employed in love. To talk of age to a young person is no sort of praise to a woman at all advanced in years it is a direct insult, and even a middle-aged woman takes but little delight in these chronological discussions.

It, indeed, sometimes happens that an antiquated coquette will venture to pronounce the word age; but then it is merely to gain a compliment-as thus-How can you like a person of my age? This is far from meaning "I am too old, and have not sufficient charms to captivate a young man."What she would convey is this-"If I have not exactly the bloom of youth, neither have I its failings; besides, every one knows that mellow fruit has the finest flavour."-Upon which, the cue of him who has, perhaps, twenty thousand reasons! for courting her, is to reply-" At your age, Madam! Why at your age?-You are but too charming. Where, without flattery, shall one see a nobler air, a fresher

1

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complexion; and then so much fine sense!”—with a thousand other unmeaning nothings in support of an evident falsity.

It is in vain to seek to modernize an antique visage with paint, pearl-powder, cosmetics, and the like. They merely serve perpetually to remind us of what they are intended to supply. There is no plaistering can ever conceal or obliterate the monumental inscription of wrinkles graved by the deforming hand of time :

"I have seen many ruins, all gilded with care,
But the cracks were still plain to the eye,
And I never felt a passion to venture in there,
But I turn'd up my nose and pass'd by."-
AGREEABLE.

LITTLE.

This is a term often applied as a cover to one's real sentiments, to a very plain woman, with too much sense not to suspect the sincerity of any one who should pretend to assure her seriously that he thought her handsome. Thus, he saying-Madam, I see nobody half so agreeable as yourself,means- -"Since I have gone so far as to tell you that I love you, I must look out for some reason to assign for it. Now the quality of agreeable being entirely a matter of taste, and admitting of no dangerous definition, it may serve till I have mustered up sufficient impudence, or you are grown sufficiently silly, for me to tell you downright that you are handsome.'

AMOROUS.

A term which denotes one constitutionally inclined to gallantry; a character formerly expressed by a much coarser appellation, but which is now entirely exploded; whilst the character itself exists in all its force.

AMUSEMENT.

Love and Passion are terms which are frequently used to cover what is no more than an amusement, intended to wile away an idle hour; but this is seldom confessed, except to confidential friends; as thus-" I court so and so; that is, I visit her; she is an amusement for me."-This, however, is a pitiful practise, and merits severe reproof. The man who is mean enough to tamper thus with a girl's affections, plainly proves that the weakness of his head equals the vileness of his heart.

ARDOUR.

This term is synonymous with love, and is mostly used to avoid tautology, or raise a climax. Your sayers of fine things are very fond of it; but of late it is grown quite threadbare, from having been so much employed by the subalterns and petty officers of gallantry.

ASSIGNATION; OR RENDEZVOUS.

The expert in love-affairs never so much as mention these terrible words to a young adventurer of the fair sex; they are too alarming; but they generally employ some circumlocution, which ends, however, in the same thing, rather differently expressed. Should the fair one consent, and keep her appointment, she is a fool; and if she returns without good reason to remember it, she has met with another.

BAS BLEU.

A bas bleu is one who renounces the art of pleasing by means of external attractions, and is reckless of all homage, save that which is paid to mind. Of the present age she is regardless; it is in future times that he wishes to live; she is anxious to make no conquests except of our remote descendants; and her heart leaps for joy to think that in an hundred years, perhaps, she shall engage the attention of the amiable posterity, whom her more lovely rivals are gaily amusing themselves in preparing for her, while she is buried in the dust of the schools.

BEAU,

This is a word commonly used to express a mixture of the coxcomb and fop; one who makes dress his principal study, with an utter impossibility of ever succeeding; as may thus be demonstrated :—

No fool can do any thing well.

None but a fool would make dress the business of his life. A beau, therefore, is a fool, and can never dress well. This point can only be attained by a man of sense; equally above the weakness of making his dress his whole study, and of not adapting it to his age, character, fortune, or station. (To be Resumed.)

From the Press of W. Oxberry, 8, White Hart Yard.

THE SPIRIT OF THE DRAMATIC JOURNALS.

THEATRE ROYAL COVENT GARDEN.

MORNING POST.

Last Evening, Oct. 21, after the play, a new Musical Farce called A Race for a Wife was produced.

Its plot is very simple, and arises in the following manner : -Captain Rocket, (JONES) and Somers (ABBOTT) receive letters at the same time from their respective fathers, conveying to them information that each is fixed to a wife, and requesting their immediate presence to be married. Upon comparing notes, they find the same lady named for both. To escape from this dilemma they agree to make a race to Caernarvonshire, where the Lady lives; the first in to be the winner. The whole interest of the piece now rests upon the delays which are caused to the parties by Dexter (LISTON), their mutual servant, a clever fellow, who alweys contrives to be bribed by both at the same time. They at last get to the end of their journey, and Somers wins the wife, Miss Julla Harpsichord, (MISS BEAUMONT). Rocket's motive in the pursuit, was money and not love, and therefore the laugh goes properly against him as the loser, the more particularly as he is something of a sharper. He however, has a real attachment to Phoebe, (Miss Love), and joins in the general happiness of the party, by being united to her.

The Farce is rather barren of incident, and the action, though not heavy or encumbered, does not proceed with precision or effect. The dialogue is generally spirited, and sometimes witty; but there is too mush straining at the latter, and consequently, not unfrequent failure. We understand the Piece to be translated from the French by Mr. MORTON. The music is original and pretty. Miss Love, who made her first appearance at this Theatre on the occasion, sang a song with much taste, and was encored.

BRITISH PRESS.

Whatever power to amuse this piece possesses is derived, wholly from the incidents of the story, or depends on the exertions of the actors. There is scarcely a single attempt of any thing witty or humourous in the dialogue. Its main support is the character of Dexter, which was admirably acted by LISTON. All the performers indeed made as much of their parts as could be extracted out of them. Miss LOVE made her first appearance on this stage in the character of

Phabe; her reception was that of a very respectable actress, with whose pretensions the public were well acquainted. To our play-going readers, it will be unnecessary to add that this lady has been engaged for some seasons at the Lyceum. Miss BEAUMONT was a very proper subject of contention to two wooers, but she was given almost nothing to do. There was some music included in the farce, which, together with the overture, was composed by Mr. WARE. A song by Miss LOVE, her only one, was encored. A good deal of laughing was excited by the powerful comic talent which supported the piece, but some hints of an unpleasant nature were dropped by the audience. When the curtain dropped, however, the applause had by much the predomiance, and we believe a repetition was announced by Mr. LISTON.

THE MORNING CHRONICLE.

After the play, a new Farce was produced, entitled A Race for a Wife. We cannot enter into the plot, nor is it necessary that we should dwell on the composition, which is nothing above the ordinary standard. To judge from its reception, which is in general no unfair criterion, we must confess that our fears are stronger than our hopes as to its ultimate success.

MORNING HERALD.

The beginning of this Farce was admirable. It however grew rather dull as it advanced, and met with considerable opposition. A few songs were introduced, and well sung by Miss LOVE, who made her first appearance at this Theatre, and Master LONGHURST. But they are scarcely sufficient to constitute it a musical farce. Mr. JONES'S part was in the beginning highly entertaining, and he made the most of it. Mr. ABBOTT also did the utmost for his. Mr. LISTON had almost nothing to do, if we except the humourous reluctance with which he administers to himself a glass of cold water. Miss Love was well re ceived; and Miss BEAUMONT, in the little assigned to her, was interesting. Mr. BLANCHARD's talents were wholly thrown away upon his part.

NEW TIMES.

A Race for a Wife. We have not time to go into the plot, whish is however much too slow in its developement. Miss Love, from the English Opera House, was entrusted with one of the characters, which she played spiritedly; and in a song given with considerable delicacy she was encored. This Farce was received with some disapprobation, which was removed by the appearance and vivacity of Miss BEAUMONT, who gave to an inferior character a true comic spirit and " yond the reach of art.'

TIMES.

grace be

After the play, a new farce, called "A Race for a Wife," was performed. It is diverting, and made an audience disposed to good humour laugh heartly, and was as heartly applauded. Some of the jokes are, however, very stale, and, with other absurdities, had nearly shipwrecked the little piece.