attic, and always characterized by a species of feminine good sense that gave it a sort of dignity which awakened respect, without exciting any feeling of inferiority. Her conversation did not abound in fine sayings, but pleased from its general character, and if any thing, more in the recollection than the actual enjoyment. In recalling these things, I have often been struck with little hits of character, and nice touches of wit or discrimination that escaped my notice at the time they were uttered. She never, I observed, tasked her own mind to appear striking, or drew draughts upon others that might be inconvenient to pay, in those hours of evening relaxation, when men seek society to indulge in that easy interchange of thought which asks no effort, and courts neither admiration nor applause. On these occasions she always appeared to advantage, especially when a blue stocking happened to be present. Though I have seen her deserted for the society of one of these declamatory ladies, I never failed to observe the recreants who had unwarily been attracted by some emphatic harangue, return after listening and yawning a little while, to the shrine of unpretending modest propriety.

Something more than a year after our acquaintance, I commenced my seclusion in the country, and we did not meet for some years. On my return to the city I learned she was married to a young fellow of small fortune, who had been attached to her for a considerable time. Assuming the privilege of an old friend, and an old man, I called to see her, and was received with such unaffected hospitality both by herself and husband, that I renewed my intimacy, and am now quite domesticated in the house, where a goodly arm-chair is always reserved for my special use.

Though my friend had now past the hey-day of youth, I still found the same mysterious witchcraft hovering around her, and pervading every part of the establishment over which she presided. The first time I entered the house, I was alarmed with an air of gentility, and expense, which knowing the confined income of the husband, I could not help thinking reflected on the prudence of the wife. Every part seemed to be finished with a degree of liberality, not to say profusion, that apparently vied with the splendour of our most profuse and wealthy citizens. As usual too, the lady appeared dressed quite as much beyond the sphere of her income, as were the decorations of her house; and, although

I never found her without something about the parlour indicating she had been employed, still she looked and acted and spoke so like a perfect lady, that I could not stretch my faith to a belief of her having been actually busy in such a fine dress as she seemed to wear.

The first time I dined there, the like appearance completely imposed on me, and I went away in the evening accusing my little friend of wastefulness in the dinner, as well as extravagance in the table equipage. In short, not to impose too much on the credulity of my readers, by further details respecting this uncommon species of magical delusion, I was completely the dupe of this domestic Armida, and believed her husband on the high road to speedy ruin. This error continued to make me uneasy for a considerable time, until luckily, I thought of resorting to my old custom of analysing, a habit I recommend to my readers, as furnishing an almost certain antidote to every species of decep

tion.

The first discovery I was enabled to arrive at by this method, was, that the furniture of the enchanted house was in reality neither expensive or splendid, but on the contrary very plain; and that it owed its sole charm to a certain uniform simplicity in the style and arrangement, which gave it that air of attic elegance which had deceived me so completely. There was no glare about the rooms; no tinsel or gaudy colours; none of that common and vulgar contrast we see so often, between the extreme of finery in one part, and the extreme of meanness in the other. It was a family circle, where every object possessed a kindred likeness, and evidently partook of the same general physiognomy. The servants neither wore livery nor gold lace; but then it was a pleasure to receive a glass of water from them, for they were always clean, and never out at the elbows.

Proceeding in the developement of this web of magic, I went so far as to count the dishes at one of these imaginary sumptuous dinners, and also to examine with a critical eye the table equipage, piece by piece. To my utter astonishment, there were but three dishes of meat, but then they were well cooked, and neatly served. What I had mistaken for finery in the table equipage, turned out to be nothing more than a table-cloth as white as snow, with spoons and knives and forks, as bright as silver. Here, as in all the

other household arrangements, the same sense of propriety, the same congruity of one part with another, the same nice adaptation of means and objects, joined in the easy deportment, and graceful suavity of the mistress, constituted all the mystery of that deception under which I had laboured.

The great key, however, to the whole enchantment, I found at last, was in the presiding genius of this admirable wife. It was she that threw this air of elegance on all around, and metamorphosed even the old-fashioned arm chair into a superb Grecian sofa. Versed from her childhood in all the indescribable secrets of good breeding; familiar with all its essential attributes, and taught by long experience, the lesson which only experience can teach, she remained mistress of herself on all occasions, and being always at her ease, made every one easy around her. She knew that the splendours of vulgarity, far from disguising, only rendered it more glaring, as the ornaments of ugliness increase its deformity, and that nothing so completely destroys the involuntary respect we pay to equipage and show, as the knowledge that they are exhibited by those, who either enjoy them at the expense of the essential comforts of life, or of some industrious mechanic, who will never be paid. In one word, she knew that a well-bred woman, gifted with a nice sense of propriety, will make a house appear more genteel, than all the fine decorations in the world.

THE VAMPIRE.

CAPTAIN STEADMAN, in his "Narrative of a Five Year's expedition against the Revolted Negroes of Surinam," relates, that on waking about four o'clock one morning in his hammock, he was extremely alarmed at finding himself weltering in congealed blood, and without feeling any pain. whatever. "The mystery was," continued Captain S. that I had been bitten by the Vampire or Spectre of Guiana, which is also called the Flying Dog of New Spain, and by the Spaniards, Perrovolador. This is no other than a bat of monstrous size, that sucks the blood from men and cattle, while they are fast asleep, even sometimes till they die; and as the manner in which they proceed is truly wonderful, I shall endeavour to give a distinct account of it. Knowing, by instinct, that the person they intend to attack is in a

sound slumber, they generally alight near the feet, where, while the creature continues fanning with his enormous wings, which keeps one cool, he bites a piece out of the tip of the great toe, so very small indeed, that the head of a pin could scarcely be received into the wound, which is consequently not painful; yet through this orifice he continues to suck the blood, until he is obliged to disgorge. He then begins again, and thus continues sucking and disgorging until he is scarcely able to fly; and the sufferer has often been known to sleep from time into eternity. Cattle they generally bite in the ear, but always in places where the blood flows spontaneously. Having applied tobacco ashes as the best remedy, and washed the gore from myself and hammock, I observed several small heaps of congealed blood all around the place where I had lain upon the ground; on examining which, the surgeon judged that I had lost at least twelve or fourteen ounces during the night."

CRITICISM.

A JOURNEYMAN hatter, a companion of Dr. Franklin, on commencing business for himself, was anxious to get a handsome signboard, with a proper inscription. This he composed himself, as follows: "John Thompson, hatter, makes and sells hats for ready money," with the figure of a hat subjoined. But he thought he would submit it to his friends for their amendments. The first he showed it to, thought the word hatter tautologous, because followed by the words, "makes hats," which showed he was a hatter. It was struck out. The next observed, that the word, "makes" might as well be omitted, because his customers would not care who made the hats; if good, and to their mind, they would buy, by whomsoever made. He struck that out also. A third said, he thought the words "for ready money" were useless, as it was not the custom of the place to sell on credit; every one who purchased, expected to pay. These too were parted with, and the inscription then stood," John Thompson sells hats." "Sells hats!" says his next friend; "why, who expects you to give them away? What then is the use of the word?" It was struck out, and hats was all

that remained attached to the name of John Thompson. Even this inscription, brief as it was, was reduced ultimately to "John Thompson," with the figure of a hat subjoined.

THE EMBLEM OF ETERNITY.

WHEN that eminent artist Fuseli first came to our Metropolis, he took up his residence in the vicinity of Leicester Square, consequently when business led him to the east end of the town, he had to pass through St. Martin's Court, in which is the long established Ham and Beef shop kept by two brothers, (who for good feeding surpass in appearance the best article they offer for the mastication of the public.) These brothers, in order to blend pleasure with business, attend the shop on alternate weeks. This inclined Fuseli to think the thriving victualler was ever cutting and carving for the benefit of the people, which conclusion excited his risibility, and induced him to exclaim each morning as he passed, "Ah! good morning to you fat man slicing de beef." "Ah! ah! der is de fat man again slicing de beef.”—“ By gar, de fat man is always slicing de beef." These exclamations continued daily for several years; and on Fuseli returning to the continent he took off his hat, and with a formal bow ejaculated, "Adieu fat man slicing de beef, I shall never see you again slicing de beef:" but after a considerable lapse of time, Fuseli revisited this country and took up his abode in the old spot; and on passing the wellremembered scene of his inquiry, he vociferated "Diavolo! damn! der he is again, der is de fat man slicing de beef; ah I see now, I see, der is one grand mistake, instead of de littel snake with de tail in his mout, being the emblem of eternity, by gar it is de fat man slicing de beef."

TO BE ON ONE'S LEGS AGAIN.

66

A WEALTHY merchant who had become bankrupt, was met some time after his misfortunes by a friend, who asked him how he was going on. Pretty well," said he, "I am upon my legs again." "How! already?" "Yes, I have been obliged to part with my coach and horses, and must now walk."