THE LADIES. I've taken my fun where I've found it; An' four o' the lot was prime. One was a woman at Prome, One was the wife of a jemadar-sais,* Now I aren't no 'and with the ladies, For, takin' 'em all along, You never can say till you've tried 'em, An' then you are like to be wrong. There's times when you'll think that you mightn't, There's times when you'll know that you might; But the things you will learn from the Yellow an' Brown, They'll 'elp you an 'eap with the White! * Head-groom. I was a young un at 'Oogli, More like a mother she were Showed me the way to promotion an' pay, Then I was ordered to Burma, Actin' in charge o' Bazar, An' I got me a tiddy live 'eathen Through buyin' supplies off 'er pa. Funny an' yellow an' faithful Doll in a teacup she were, But we lived on the square, like a true-married pair, An' I learned about women from 'er. Then we was shifted to Neemuch (Or I might ha' been keepin' 'er now), An' I took with a shiny she-devil, The wife of a nigger at Mhow; 'Taught me the gipsy-folks' bolee;* Kind o' volcano she were, For she knifed me one night 'cause I wished she was white, And I learned about women from 'er. Then I come 'ome in the trooper, Girl from a convent at Meerut, An' I wouldn't do such, 'cause I liked 'er too much, I've taken my fun where I've found it, For the more you 'ave known o' the others An' the end of it's sittin' and thinkin', An' dreamin' Hell-fires to see; So be warned by my lot (which I know you will not), An' learn about women from me! * Slang. What did the colonel's lady think? Nobody never knew. Somebody asked the sergeant's wife, An' she told 'em true. When you get to a man in the case, For the colonel's lady an' Judy O'Grady BILL 'AWKINS. "As anybody seen Bill 'Awkins ?" "Now 'ow in the devil would I know?" "'E's taken my girl out walkin', An' I've got to tell 'im so Gawd-bless-'im ! I've got to tell 'im so." "D'yer know what 'e's like, Bill 'Awkins ?" "Now what in the devil would I care ?" "'E's the livin', breathin' image of an organgrinder's monkey, With a pound of grease in 'is 'air— An' a pound o' grease in 'is 'air." "An' s'pose you met Bill 'Awkins, Now what in the devil 'ud ye do ?" |