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ACT III.

Scene, a Room in SPARROWHAWKE'S House.

Enter SPARROWHAWKE.

Sparr. I'm ruin'd, I'm undone, I'm annihilated; all my improvements too. Let me read the letter again. (Reads.) "My dear Sophia." Sophia!" that must be Fidget's daughter," they had a liking for each other before he went abroad. "I take the first opportunity of announcing to you my arrival in my native village. Contrive to meet me this evening at eight, in the Elm Grove, near the Church-yard. Your's impatiently till then, Edward Constant." That must be he no doubt that paid me a visit this morning, and that I met again just now at old Sturdy's: swearing a robbery against him will be a bold stroke, but the game is desperate. Our being left alone together will give colour to the charge, which if I can once fix upon him, I may make my own terms. I must take care that this letter reaches Fidget's daughter in time for her to attend the interview. Oh, fortune! fortune! help me at this lift, and I'll pull down my Chinese pagoda, and build thee a temple

on the spot. (Enter O'BLARNEY with pen, ink, and paper.)

O'Blar. Here are the implements.

Sparr. Well, well! sit down, and take his description.

O'Blar. That I will, grammatically; it shall agree with him, in case, gender, and number.

Sparr. Write a dark well-looking man.

O'Blar. You mean to say, a handsome brunette.
Sparr. Psha! write as I tell you.

O'Blar. A dark well-looking man.

Sparr. With a hazle eye.

O'Blar. What colour was the other?

(Writes.)

Sprrr. Psha! write as I tell you. Have you got his eyes?

O'Blar. Both of them: what age shall I put upon

him?

Sparr. Let me see

about seventeen when he went

abroad, seventeen and five (Aside.)—say about two

and twenty.

O'Blar. About two and twenty.

Sparr. Had on a blue coat.

O'Blar. Second cloth or superfine?

Sparr. No matter, no matter.

O'Blar. No matter, whether second cloth or super

fine.

Sparr. White waistcoat, leather breeches and boots. O'Blar. There; now I think we have him complete. Sparr. A reward of one hundred pounds ?

O'Blar. One hundred pounds? It's impossible he

can escape.

Sparr. Print a hundred, and disperse them all over the country.

O'Blar. It shall circulate like my grammar; I'll give one to every body I meet.

Sparr. Raise the whole village in a posse comitatus, and bring him dead or alive (for if he makes any resistance, you'll be justified in shooting him) to Mr. Justice Fidget's.

[Exit.

O'Blar. (solus) Let me alone, I'm an old bird catcher: do you think I don't know how to put salt upon his tail. Raise the whole village in a posse comitatus! not a bit of it - you shall find, when there's a hundred pounds in the wind, I'm a posse comitatus myself.

AIR 15th.

A neat hundred pounds, what shall I do with it? Marry a wife, and she'll soon help me thro' with it. I'll keep a fat pig,

And a dog and a cat,
Mount a new wig,

And, I think, a new hat:

Buy a snug piece of ground,
Just the size of the pound,

Where potatoes shall multiply all the year round:
And since Dr. O'Blarney's genteeler, you see,
Than plain Mr. O'Blarney, I'll take a degree,
Perhaps two or three;

For the name of a man, must for letters prevail,
When he wears half the alphabet pinn'd to his tail.
I'll import my own snuff, for snuff-taking, I'm told,
Is exceeding polite, tho' 'tis blackguard — but hold !
An't I counting my chickens a little too soon?
For e'er they are hatch'd,

This same rogue must be catch'd,

So whilst at his heels,

I dance Irish reels,

May the devil take the hindmost, this fine afternoon.

[Exit.

Scene, in the Village.

Enter CONSTANT and CARELESS.

Cons. And you really are in love with the girl?
Carel. Is she not a charming creature?

Cons. She is a pretty woman in distress; and that, to a man who can relieve it, is of all human objects

the most interesting — but consider the meanness of

her birth.

Carel. Her conduct belies it besides, the picture. However, I'm determined to inquire.

Cons. You may save yourself the trouble.
Carel. How?

Cons. I have ascertained the point myself.
Carel. You?

Cons. Nay, don't be jealous.

Carel. Well.

Cons. Her family is respectable.

Carel. Respectable?

Cons. Ay, respectable; it would'nt become me to say more she has friends who must be consulted. Carel. Friends?

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Cons. I mean relations.

Carel. Ay, that's quite another thing you may find twenty that are allied to her by blood, to one that is akin to her misfortunes.

Cons. Fortune she has none.

Carel. So much the better.

Cons. So much the better! come, come, you shall

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Cons. Positively shan't, for I have too great a regard for my sister's happiness.

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