A COMPULSORY FAST-DAY. WHAT a pity it is that earnest Clergymen, who wish the British Public to spend the whole of Sunday and the other festivals of the Church in religious exercises, do not endeavour to persuade them to do so by the cultivation of pulpit eloquence, instead of by attempting to take measures to deprive them of the means of following their own inclinations towards diversion! A paragraph in a contemporary, headed "Observance of Good Friday," states that, at a Meeting of the Clergy of the rural deanery of Canterbury, held a few days since, a resolution was adopted for the presentation of an address to the directors of the South-Eastern, and London, Chatham, and Dover Railway companies, requesting them "to take into consideration the service they would confer on religion by ceasing to run Excursion Trains on Good Fridays." There is too much reason to fear that the gentlemen thus requested to deprive not only themselves, but also their constituents, of the most profitable day's business in the whole year did not receive the invitation to perform that sacrifice of dividends with all the respect which the calling, and perhaps the motives, of their reverend memorialists deserved. Among Railway Directors there are not only gentlemen of the Hebrew persuasion, but also Members of the Society of Friends, and other dissenting Christians, who, on the ground of objecting to what they deem a superstitious observance of days, refuse to observe Good Friday. All these gentlemen might be likely to make the great mistake of resenting the solicitation to stop their excursion trains on that holiday, as a piece of impertinence. If, however, the Directors appealed to by a section of Church of England Clergymen with a request to forego their own gains, and withhold the means of holiday-making from the community at large, were to return those divines a suitably respectful answer, they would perhaps reply, that they had taken into consideration the service they would confer on religion by ceasing to run Excursion Trains on Good Fridays, and on consideration, were convinced that they should not confer any. They might proceed to point out to their Reverences that people are not driven into Church by being shut out of the Crystal Palace, or debarred of Excursion Trains; and, they might add, the THE NEGRO'S PLACE IN NATURE. (To the Ethnological Society.) SAGES of that zetetic band You have been looking up of late. The Negro's wool, the Negro's skin, You measure, nor those odours fail DISRAELI'S option, widely known With you that question hangs. The Negro's and Gorilla's shape What kin is that anthropoid ape If any, the Gorilla's proved If none, with fellow men And angels QUASHEE takes his stand; certain result of exclusion from sober enjoyment would be that of driving them into the public-house. There is something peculiarly clerical in the argument whereon the clergy of the rural deanery of Canterbury, to the number of twenty-one out of twenty-three, rested their vocation to ask the Directors to stop working classes require recreation, but Good Friday is the one day in Good Friday excursion trains. They stated "that they were aware the the year which presents distinctive and peculiar features for religious according to the Sabbatarians, whether Churchmen or Dissenters. If observance." Why, so does Christmas Day. So does every Sunday, the pious desires of all the sanctified persons who want to impose their own way of observing Sundays and holidays upon other people, were gratified, the working classes would pretty soon have no recreation at all. mended by the Railway Directors, with whose business they have The Clergy of the rural deanery of Canterbury will perhaps be recomattempted to interfere, to confine themselves in future to their own province, the province of Canterbury, and not to travel out of it into the province of cant. Who are the two Clergymen out of twenty-three who signalised their good sense by refusing their signatures to the memorial against Good Friday excursion trains? Their names should be known to discerning patrons with large Church preferment at their disposal, and admiring freedom from assumption, folly, and hypocrisy. We may suppose that those two parsons are wise men. Is the University Boat Race a Myth? THE BISHOP OF NUMBERS presents his compliments to Mr. Punch, and wishes to know if the University Boat Race ever took place. He has heard much about the "Oxford Eight," but as all the latest accounts show conclusively that there must have been nine men in it, he is obliged to conclude, that there never was such a thing as the "Oxford Eight," and consequently, that the Boat Race could never have taken place. BALLAD MINSTRELSY. of volubility of tongue; and "bells," whether with one e or with two, are usually proficients in ow nonsensically that accomplishment. Probably, volubility of absurd are the finger means skill in the dumb alphabet. If it greater number doesn't, we give it up. Then comes of drawing-room "We'll gang nae mair to yon Town on the Use of ballads! Take the Pedals." the following No doubt a clumsy Scotch way of saying that specimens, for next time they go, they won't walk. A little instance, ex- lower down is tracted at ran dom from Ro- "Oh, whistle and I'll come to you, my lad; on Delicacy." BERT COCKS & This we think can be explained. "On deliCo.'s Green Ca-cacy" is an Irishism for "indelicacy," and it talogue:- is probably a private note by a right-thinking Irish editor, which has been printed by mistake. But what was MESSRS, COCKS & Co.'s reader about? "A Lovely Lass: on Volubility of "Tom Bowline: on The following is probably a pugilistic ode:"The Mill, the Mill, O! on various useful passages." A ghastly motif is suggested by the subjoined : "Barly one Morning: on rapid and brilliant Execution." : The taste which suggests the publication of such ribaldry cannot be too severely reprehended. Here is a song which curiously illustrates the carelessness of the Irish character: That a lovely lass is likely to be an excellent authority on volubility of per- "Nora's Purse: on a natural and graceful style." formance, we Nobody but an Irish man or woman would have admit; but is the fact that she is so a reason for writing a ballad about it? As to the second been so careless as to leave a purse in such an are prepared to song, it is simply an anatomical absurdity. When does the heart of a man pass his thumb ? exposed situation. Catch a Scotchman doing This ballad is useful, however, as an illustration of the shifts to which a fifth-rate poet is Then we havesometimes driven for a rhyme. Probably the author (whoever he was) wanted a rhyme to come," and accordingly dragged in "thumb" neck-and-crop, without paying any regard to the question whether there was room for it. Again, what could TOM BOWLINE have had to do with "turns and shakes ?" All the brave fellow could have known about " must have been derived from seeing his enemies accomplish them; and as to "shakes," beyond a shake or two of the foretopsail now and then, he probably knew no more about them than the Nelson Column itself. A little further on is the following idiotic drivel : "When I followed a Lass: on Octaves and Skips." turns Another rhyming emergency: "skips" introduced, no doubt, to rhyme with "lips." Then we come to such nonsense as this: "The Blue Bells of Scotland: for the Acquirement of Volubility of Finger." so! "Peggy Bawn on Skips." We give this up. A stern moral lesson is read in the next line:"A Rejected Lover: on Velocity." of dissipation (notwithstanding that he has He has been unable to give up his old habits plighted his love), and he has been found out! One more quotation, which we will not attempt to criticise: "The pretty Maid milking a Cow: in the style of a Romance." Really, music-publishers of position should be careful how they peril their professional standing We are not quite clear as to what "volubility of finger" is. We have, of course, heard by publishing such abject nonsense? THE CARTOONS. "gadding vine," to enjoy (like sensible people) the turf and the trees, the chesnuts and the flowers, to feed the gold and silver fish, and THE Cartoons are likely to be removed to London. Hampton is in refresh themselves with sandwiches and beer. It is whispered that a most unhappy frame of mind, and as much cut up as RAFFAELLE'S of all the thousand and odd pictures that will still be left in the Palace, great works once were. Kingston is the picture of despair. Kew the "hundreds and thousands" care far more for The Grecian Daughter means to consult a Q. C., and at Teddington things have come to a and the great gun of the collection, 4 Child Discharging a small Cannon, dead-lock. The "Twitnam" folks complain that people are already than for RAFFAELLE treasures and ANDREA MANTEGNA "triumphs." twitting 'em. The Palace is in a maze. A Court mourning is expected. But, says the voice from Boyle Farm, "No foreigner ever came to Not content, like " great ANNA," to "counsel take," Hampton London without visiting Hampton Court, and when he got in sight of retained an ex-Chancellor to plead her cause before his Peers. He A fact. No sooner does the "foreigner" arrive at the South-Eastern the Palace, his first question always was, Where are the Cartoons?' seems to have been assisted by other noble personages, for there was terminus than, fresh from the ocean, and without even changing his more than one Count in the indictment he preferred. First, the gates collar, he jumps into a Hansom, and drives straight away to Hampton had been carried off, the gates "that it must have been a great satisfaction to the thousands of the working classes who visited Hampton Court, and when he gets in sight of the Palace gesticulates to Cabby Court to see." The recital of this sad story almost "drew iron tears to reveal to him where the Cartoons are. down SUGDEN's cheek." But were these gates such a comfort to the London mechanic out for his Sunday holiday? Did all his enjoyment hinge upon them? Did he do nothing but draw them, study them, admire them, until they wrought in him a determination to forge a-head and rival their producer, HUNTINGTON SHAW, the clever Nottingham blacksmith ? Was there not metal more attractive in the other glories of the Palace? This must have been said ironically. "The naked empty pedestals" were the next thing on which LORD ST. LEONARDS based a grievance. As the statues appear to have been removed some forty or fifty years ago, Hampton must now, after half a century of stony grief, be pretty well hardened. LORD GRANVILLE, however, allayed the anxiety of the House by an assurance that it should be CowPER's Task to see that things no longer remained in statu quo. But the worst woe of all was the threatened departure of those Cartoons which hundreds and thousands of people went down to see." Do they? There is a secret belief that they go down to bewilder themselves in the maze and play at kiss-in-the-ring, to gad after the pensive ride, and be quite as well satisfied to see the Cartoons at South friend in CHARLES and a "Protector" in CROMWELL, the Cartoons 66 66 STRENGTHENING THE BILL." IN ORDER TO INCREASE THE ATTRACTION OF AN APPROACHING REVIVAL, AN EMINENT FOREIGN (OFFICE) PERFORMER INTRODUCES HIS SON INTO THE CAST.-Vide MR. FECHTER'S Playbills. |