INTERESTING POLICE PROCEEDINGS He the match. He knew well enough, and so did everybody present, that his old cock "Reform" wouldn't fight. He could only rest and be thankful. He had brought the old cock in a bag, and would be glad to show him to T the Bouverie the worthy Magistrate. He had been a game bird in his Street Police Court day, he would not deny, and had won him (RUSSELL) a lately a number deal of credit and some money; but he begged to assure of persons were the Magistrate that his cock-fighting days were over. brought before MR. was respectably employed in an office now: his departBULL, the sitting ment was the correspondence. He had a deal of it to do, Magistrate,charged and liked the work, and believed he gave satisfaction to by the Secretary of his employers. The letters he had to write were principally the Royal Society denouncing or blowing-up letters, and naturally annoyed for the Prevention the people who got them. That wasn't his fault. He should of Cruelty to be glad to read specimens of his letters to the worthy Animals with Cock- Magistrate. This offer was precipitately but peremptorily fighting. declined. The charges were entered thus: JOHN EVELYN DENISON, taking the chair at the Barry Arms, Westminster (better known as the Old Westminster Cock-Pit), was charged with permitting the place to be used for the purpose of fighting Cocks; JOHN WILLIAM TEMPLE, aliàs PAM, aliàs the Tiverton Pet, aliàs the Bottle-holder, Cambridge House, Piccadilly, describing himself as "in'the public line;" JOHN RUSSELL, 32, Chesham Place, man of letters; WILLIAM EWART GLADSTONE, 12, Downing Street, tallyman; ROBERT PEEL, aliàs WILLIAM ROBINSON, of 4, Whitehall Gardens, stableman, and known to the police in connection with "tips" and betting offices; H. BRAND, Treasury Buildings,, Whitehall, whipper-in; for assisting in the management of the house and resisting the police: BENJAMIN DISRAELI, 1, Grosvenor Gate, literary man and yarn-spinner; JOHN BRIGHT, 40, Gloucester Terrace, fighting man; ROBERT CECIL, 11, Duchess Street, vinegar merchant; ARTHUR ROEBUCK, 19, Ashley Place, dog-fancier; BERNAL OSBORNE, no address and no occupation, but getting his livelihood by reciting and tumbling at publichouses; and a crowd of other defendants, for whose names, occupations, and addresses we cannot spare space, for (aiding, encouraging, and assisting in the fighting of certain cocks. MR. INSPECTOR PUNCH appeared in support of the prosecution: the Prisoners were undefended. MR. PUNCH said he had been aware for some time that the House in which the prisoner DENISON was advertised as taking the chair nightly, was (used for purposes which the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals had been instituted to prevent: such as rat-matches, dog-fighting and badgering. Occasionally, he had reason to believe, even bull-baiting had gone on there; at least he had on several occasions seen a Bull in a state of the utmost exasperation, from treatment in that House. The persons who were particularly active in promoting this fight while he was present, were the prisoners CECIL (who used very bad language all the time) and ROEBUCK, who seemed to be anxious to make matches with everybody and everything. He had a famous dog, which he offered to back against anything, from a rat to a rhinoceros. The prisoner PAM, (whose numerous aliàses bespoke a rather suspicious relation with the Office), and who seemed a great favourite among his companions in misfortune, with whom he kept exchanging a good deal of free-and-easy "chaff" in an undertone during the proceedings, declared the affair was all moonshine. The cocks weren't fighting; they were only sparring to keep themselves in wind. He knew the difference and so would the worthy Magistrate, if he'd frequented the Westminster Pit as long as he (Prisoner) had. He had seen games there. P'raps the best game was when they had the famous Bull bait, in the second year of the Crimean War. That was something like a lark. But the beaks had made no fuss then, though a good many coves he knew lost their places, along of that very bull-bait. Knew INSPECTOR PUNCH very well, and hoped he might be allowed to say he was very good friends with him: a friend in the "force" often came handy. Would not deny he had fought a main or two in his time: there was nothing he called real fighting now-a-days. The prisoner CECIL, who showed much irritability under the questioning of the worthy Magistrate, impudently said he would not deny he liked cock-fighting, and didn't see any harm either in that or a dog-fight-or a bull or badgerbait either, for the matter of that. ROEBUCK was so cheeky about his cocks, it aggravated him, and he put down his bird. Did not deny he had steel spurs on they might draw blood, and inflict a painful wound. He hoped so. Didn't see what was the use of matching cocks without spurs on. The prisoner OSBORNE said he only went to the Pit to see if he could get employment, as he had long been out of place, and was anxious for an odd job: he had heard such things were to be had in and about the Westminster Pit. He appealed to MR. PUNCH if he had heard him say anything. MR. PUNCH said he certainly did not notice him taking part in the match, but he was "chaffing" a good deal, and seemed well known in the place. The worthy Magistrate said he was reluctantly obliged to discharge the prisoners, as there wasn't sufficient evidence of the actual fighting. In fact, it seemed as if they were there rather to arrange the terms of a main, expected to come off in the course of the autumn, than to fight their the pit, and he would take care that, so far as he was concerned, no violation of the law should take place. He then] cautioned the prisoners, and discharged them. An attempt at applause was suppressed. The prisoner ROEBUCK here offered to lay the worthy Magistrate 10 to 1 that his dog TEAR'EM would pin and draw him (the Magistrate) as soon as look at him. The worthy Magistrate declared that he never had to deal with such a trouble-cocks then and there. The police would keep an eye on some customer, and that if he did not hold his tongue it would be the worse for him. The prisoner ROEBUCK saucily rejoined that he never had held his tongue yet, even at the bidding of the worthy Magistrate's betters, and never meant to. He was at last, however, with some difficulty induced to be quiet, by the united persuasion of his fellow-prisoners. The Prisoners, on being called upon for their defence, gave various explanations of their presence at the Barry Arms, but all declared it had nothing to do with cock-fighting. The prisoner BRIGHT sulkily said the whole thing was a "plant," as far as he was concerned. He had been insulted by some Swells, and had gone into the house to punch their heads, when he had been nailed by the crushers. He didn't understand why. Didn't see any cock-fighting, Didn't believe there was a game bird in the lot he saw about the place-they were regular dunghills most of them. The prisoner BRAND said the pits might have been used for the pastime of cocking in former times, but lately the matches had not been fighting ones at all, but mere innocent sparring with the "hots" (or leather mufflers) on the cocks' spurs. On their way out of the Court, the prisoners CECIL and ROEBUCK got fighting violently in the passage, and were separated with difficulty; on which the worthy Magistrate directed they should both be locked up for the assault on each other, it having been proved that neither began it. PAM begged he might be protected against BRIGHT, who, he said, had threatened him with violence. He wasn't afraid of BRIGHT, or any man, but he hated fighting, if he wasn't fairly forced into it. The Magistrate cautioned BRIGHT that any breach of the peace would be severely visited on him; and all the parties left the Court, apparently thinking themselves lucky in having got off so easily. New Bishop for Cornwall. INSPECTOR PUNCH wished the prisoner RUSSELL to be asked whether he had not expressed a wish to back his old ginger-pile cock "Reform" against the prisoner DERBY's red-hackle "Aristocrat ?" and whether the prisoner BENJAMIN had not been active in promoting the match and getting money on DERBY'S guished Ecclesiastical dignitary in the Eastern Counties bird? 66 The prisoner RUSSELL admitted he might have spoken of such a match, and might have mentioned a young cock of his own breeding, called Amberley," which he was anxious to enter for the Westminster Pit; but it was all chaff about SIR,-Why create a new one, when there is a distin- ford. eyes, the colossal Primate of England, and the venerable author of the History of the Jews (who was writing, rationally, on certain matters when DR. C*L*NSO was a small boy) and MR. DISRAELI, who I perceive was seen by the flippant person who writes your Essence of Parliament (which I offered to write, and you coarsely refused to allow me to do), and the distinguished Lady of Secrets and Sensations, and a great Poet, and many Academicians, who were affable to me, and the ubiquitous BISHOP AGATHON, and the prettiest and cleverest of our young English actresses, and some crítics, whom I will trouble you not to throw in my face, because they had been round the studios, and their long and elaborate articles, next day, had been prepared in advance. Nos etiam in Arcadia, Sir, and I know their tricks and their manners, as the Person of the House observes. It did not occur to me when you thrust your ticket and commands upon me in your overwhelming and steam-engine manner, bustling me out of the sanctum before I had time to light a cigar, to ask you what I was to go for, or what you wanted me to say. Do you desire criticisms on 1077 works of art? I can send them, of course, in batches of fifty, which arrangement will bring my letters to an end in twenty-one weeks, finishing as pheasant-shooting begins. Or will you be satisfied with a neat and novel statement that there are many works of genius, some of average merit, and many which deserve neither praise nor disparagement, while we would rather be excused from speaking of the remainder I am the most docile of scribes, and whether epigram or epic be demanded, I instantly sit down and write it. "Pay me well, and order what you please," is the motto that hangs over the mantelpiece of the tasteful apartment in which I receive my customers. But when I am left totally without instructions, I am sure to send you just what you didn't want, and to tread upon the corns of some of your friends and pets, that is to say, to write truthfully. I wish you would give me only such subjects as Logarithms, or the Conservation of Forces, or the Differential Calculus. Though some people are so awfully sharpsighted that they would discern allusions even in a treatise on these. The Spectator used to complain that if he mentioned a church and a pudding in the same page, he was said to be insulting the clergy. I suppose that if I say that this is the Ninety-Seventh Exhibition, I shall be told that I am accusing the Academicians of being in their senility and dotage. Tu l'as voulu, M. Punch. Ha! You will naturally demand the meaning of that conventional typographical melodramatical exclamation. Nobody makes it in real lifehence it is a fitting Ideal Symbol of the Inconceivable. The explanation is yours. It has flashed on my mind that May is the Poet's Month, especially since the seasons have changed, and it has become the month of Rime. Poetry and Painting are sisters-hence poets and painters hate one another like cousins. Will you kindly allow me to do the Academy in verse? GARTH wrote the Dispensary, and COWPER 4 Review of Schools, neither of which facts has anything to do with the matter. But first of the Motto for the Year. Firstly, it is spelt rightly. Secondly, it is out of POPE. Thirdly, it is this: "Our Rules are old, intended and devis'd To keep monopoly, so dearly priz'd. L is SIR EDWIN. Self-painted, he 's there, M is for MILLAIS, brave painter who Dares. Have excluded his family largely this year. O is O'NEIL. Gallant boat on the blue: And what Swells must have sat for that fine-looking crew! P is JOHN PHILLIP-the strength and the tone MURILLO, grown up, had been honoured to own. is the QUEEN, who, they say, said "How glad am I R's MR. REDGRAVE. All know his desert, And Punch printed-he painted-the Song of the Shirt. S is for STANFIELD-a Name, till the shock That shall hurl into ocean that noble Bass Rock. T's MR. THORBURN, less eager to please Than be great. That's the Scotch Rhadamanthus, LORD DEAs. For how Snobs poke at pictures we all of us know. Magnificent ladies-some fond of macaws. Wis WARD. Boldly handled the scene In the history of Scotland's Immaculate Queen. X is the Exe, and reminds of a dell By the Devonshire stream that GEORGE CHESTER paints well. M. BUNSEN and I do not know him from ADAM. There, my dear Mr. Punch, I flatter myself that I have discharged my duty like a man, and if you are not satisfied, you can give your Private View ticket, next year, to any other of your young men, without causing the faintest shadow of dissatisfaction upon the pleasant yet pensive, and cheerful but thoughtful countenance of Your devoted Contributor, EPICURUS Rotundus. Goneril Terrace, Regan Park. PARSON'S ENGLISH. ONE would think an English Clergyman should know how to write English; but here is one who does not, if he penned the following:WANTED, a HOUSEMAID, not under 22, in a very small, quiet, Clergyman's family, who can wait at table. A personal character of at least a year required. And I think this is a very good motto, which every artist should quiet?" and are we to understand, as the sentence seems to indicate, inscribe in letters of gold on his easel. And now for my ACADEMY ALPHABET. A's MR. ANSDELL. Brave steeds in a whirl, Floored Poacher, and O such a dear Spanish girl! B's MR. BOXALL, with portraits so true, I'll box all who question his merits. Do you? C's MR. CRESWICK, who's glorious, by George! And blessed's the Blacksmith who bangs in that Forge. D's L. DESANGES, who depicts our Sweet Saints They should call him Des Anges, from the darlings he paints. E's MR. ELMORE. She's tempted to sin; She's fair. Will the Lily or Passion-flower win? F's MR. FRITH. What a splendid display! G's MR. GRANT, ever gracious and fresh, H is for Hook, and the sea is his Line,! Come, love, hear the billows, and smell the fresh brine. I is the Ink into which at this crisis I dipped, wrote my name, and cut off for some ices. And whose works are as fine as their painter's polite. Pray, is it the clergyman or his family that is "very small and that it is the family "who can wait at table?" Then, pray, which year is the one whose character is required? and what in the wide world can its character have to do with the hiring of a housemaid? We hope there is no evidence of an approaching rupture between our Church and State in the fact that this Churchman so misuses the Queen's English. MR. GLADSTONE has reduced the Income-Tax from sixpence in the pound to fourpence. This tax will not cease to affect only a portion of the community, and that unequally; but its reduction is confidently expected to make people in general forget that it is a confiscation which oppresses even those who alone are subject to it in different degrees. Financiers hope that the few who may still feel the injustice by the Income-Tax may now be induced to put up with that imposition of the consideration that it is only a little one. The party crushers, white-wanded ushers, Sure, 'tis but following the Royal nose! The Choir with anthems start up like phanthoms, 'Tis them that has the larning quite complate. In words so taking the PRINCE is spaking, There's CHAIRMAN SANDARS from the bystanders That's he that spoke now, "All you good folk now, IS for swate Dublin, my muse I'm throublin' I drain a chalice to the Winter Palace, (So called bekase 'twas opened first in May), To ALBERT ED'ARD, who has conseder'd His people's happiness, and cross'd the say. Och, MISTHER WODEHOUSE! who'd think ye would dowse The Royal light, which should blaze near and far? The place approachin' a covered coach in, Och! he'd have been better in an outside car. And o'er agenst her, stood the DUKE OF LEINSTER, Then, MASTHER PUNCH, in we went to lunchin', Such delicessies and water-cresses, With sherry, white wine, likewise Sang Peray. With something lighter the present writer On treasures gloating, I kept on noting Och! 'tis worth putting in there, that cutting, From Ireland's sham-rock, called the Blarney-Stone. There's EVE with shaddock, carved, and the Haddock These pipes are labelled as the n the fabled Faix, here are Praties, each bread-and-mate is; Just by your knuckle, see now, the buckle That was first covered in an Irish jig. While I'm romancing, the sounds of dancing Come from where, in the LORD MAYOR'S Mansion Hall, Who with ye can compare, at all, at all! Of Eighteen Hun-de-red and Sixty-five! "WHO BREAKS-PAYS." The Seal, we understand, was designed in Rome, where it is looked upon by connoisseurs as an article of virtu. To our simple sight it appears antiquated in style and quite unsuited to the English climate. Some minds of a high order confess that this sort of Seal has for them a mysterious charm, but we gravely doubt whether any good impression can be made by those delicate instruments that will not bear exposure to the light. |