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I would have begot you or no?

Oons, who are

you? whence came you? what brought you into the world? how came you here, sir? here, to stand here, upon those two legs, and look erect with that audacious face, hah? Answer me that. volunteer into the world? or did I,

Did you come a

with the lawful

authority of a parent, press you to the service?

Val. I know no more why I came, than you do why you called me. But here I am; and if you don't mean to provide for me, I desire you would leave me as you found me.

Sir S. With all my heart. Come, uncase, strip, and go naked out of the world as you came into it.

Val. My clothes are soon put off-but you must also divest me of my reason, thought, passions, inclinations, affections, appetites, senses, and the huge train of attendants that you begot along with me. Sir S. Body o'me, what a many-headed monster have I propagated!

Val. I am of myself, a plain, easy, simple creature; and to be kept at small expence: but the retinue that you gave me are craving and invincible; they are so many devils that you have raised, and will have employment.

Sir S. Oons, what had I to do to get children?— can't a private man be born without all these followers? Why nothing under an emperor should be born with appetites-why, at this rate, a fellow that has but a groat in his pocket may have a stomach capable of a ten shilling ordinary.

Jer. Nay, that's as clear as the sun; I'll make oath of it before any justice in Middlesex.

Sir S. Here's a cormorant too!-'Sheart, this fellow was not born with you?—I did not beget him, did I ?

Jer. By the provision that's made for me, you might have begot me too.-Nay, and to tell your worship another truth, I believe you did; for I find I was born with those same whoreson appetites too that my master speaks of.

Sir S. Why look you there now!-I'll maintain it, that by the rule of right reason, this fellow ought to have been born without a palate.-'Sheart, what should he do with a distinguishing taste?—I warrant now, he'd rather eat a pheasant, than a piece of poor John-and smell, now; why I warrant he can smell, and loves perfumes above a stink-why there's it ; and music-don't you love music, scoundrel?

Jer. Yes, I have a reasonable good ear, sir, as to jiggs and country dances, and the like; I don't much matter your solo's or sonata's; they give me the spleen.

Sir S. The spleen? ha, ha, ha! a pox confound you!-Solo's or sonata's? Oons, whose son are you? how were you engendered, muckworm ?

Jer. I am, by my father, the son of a chairman; my mother sold oysters in winter, and cucumbers in summer: and I came up stairs into the world; for I was born in a cellar.

For. By your looks you shall go up stairs out of the world too, friend.

Sir S. And if this rogue were anatomized now, and dissected, he has his vessels of digestion and concoction, and so forth large enough for the inside of a cardinal; this son of a cucumber!-These things are unaccountable and unreasonable.-Body o'me, why was I not a bear, that my cubs might have lived upon sucking their paws? Nature has been provident only to bears and spiders: the one has its nutriment in its own hands; and the other spins its habitation out of its own entrails.

Val. Fortune was provident enough to supply all the necessities of my nature, if I had my right inheritance.

Sir S. Again! Oons, han't you four thousand pounds? If I had it again I would not give thee a groat. What, wouldst thou have me turn pelican, and feed thee out of my own vitals-Odsheart, live by your wits- you are always fond of the wits.— Now let's see if you have wit enough to keep yourself. Your brother will be in town to-night, or to-morrow morning; and then look you perform covenants; and so your friend and servant.-Come, brother Foresight.

[Exeunt Sir Sampson and Foresight. Jer. I told you what your visit would come to. Val. 'Tis as much as I expected—I did not come to see him: I came to see Angelica; but since she was gone abroad, it was easily turned another way, and at least looked well on my side. What's here?

Mrs. Foresight and Mrs. Frail! They are earnest→→ I'll avoid them.-Come this way, and go and inquire when Angelica will return.

[Exeunt.

Enter Mrs. FORESIGHT and Mrs. FRAIL.

Mrs. F. What have you to do to watch me? 'Slife, I'll do what I please.

Mrs. For. You will?

Mrs. F. Yes, marry, will I.—A great piece of business to go to Covent-garden, to take a turn in a hack ney-coach with one's friend!

Mrs. For. Nay, two or three turns, I'll take my oath.

Mrs. F. Well, what if I took twenty!-I warrant, if you had been there, it had only been innocent recreation!-Lord, where's the comfort of this life, if we can't have the happiness of conversing where we like?

Mrs. For. But can't you converse at home?—I own it, I think there's no happiness like conversing with an agreeable man; I don't quarrel at that, nor I don't think but your conversation was very innocent. But the place is public; and to be seen with a man in a hackney-coach is scandalous. What if any body else should have seen you alight, as I did?— How can any body be happy, while they are in perpe. tual fear of being seen and censured?-Besides, it would not only reflect upon you, sister, but on me!

Mrs. F. Pooh, here's a clutter!-Why should it reflect upon you?--I don't doubt but you have thought

yourself happy in a hackney-coach before now!-If I had gone to Knightsbridge, or to Chelsea, or to Spring-garden, or to Barn-elms, with a man alonesomething might have been said.

Mrs. For. Why, was I ever in any of those places ? What do you mean, sister?

Mrs. F. Was I? what do you mean?

Mrs. For. You have been at a worse place.

Mrs. F. I at a worse place, and with a man?

Mrs. For. I suppose you would not go alone to the World's-end.

Mrs. F. The World's-end! What, do you mean to banter me?

Mrs. For. Poor innocent! you don't know that there is a place called the Word's-end? I'll swear, you can keep your countenance purely; you'd make an admirable player!

Mrs. F. I'll swear you have a great deal of confidence, and in my mind too much for the stage.

Mrs. For. Very well, that will appear who has most. You never were at the World's end?

Mrs. F. No.

Mrs. For. You deny it positively to my face?
Mrs. F. Your face! what's your face?

"Mrs. For. No matter for that; it's as good a face

" as yours.

"Mrs. F. Not by a dozen years wearing." But I do deny it positively to your face then.

Mrs. For. I'll allow you now to find fault with my face; for I'll swear your impudence has put me out

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