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May Heaven its choicest gifts bestow,
Nor leave you, lovely maid, to prove
The loss of happiness below,

Till called to bliss above.

Live blest, the child of Heaven's distinguished care,
And kindly hope to meet your stranger there.

Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas,
Atque metus omnes et inexorabile Fatum

Subjecit pedibus, strepitumque Acherontis avari.-Vir.
Happy the man whose active mind can trace

Each tortuous path through Nature's wildering maze,
Whose stedfast soul the stroke of Fate can brave,
Can smile on Death and triumph o'er the grave.

W.

IRONY.

WHEN a stranger enters a public room, whisper to your friends in order to know who he is, and where he came from, with your eyes fixed full in his face. Such behaviour, well applied, will raise a blush even on the cheeks of a brazier.

Rush into your friend's room, without giving the smallest previous notice, exclaiming, D—n it, Jack, how goes it. Here am I as fresh as a four year old, &c.

Good breeding and ceremony may be carried on with the happiest effect in every class of society; for instance, in a gentleman's family, the cook, with the greatest politeness, acquaints the neighbouring butcher, that himself and a friend or two intend doing themselves the honour, in a few days of calling to crack a marrow-bone with him. The kitchen-maid informs the baker's journeyman, that she shall be at home from six till nine in the evening, but before that time it will be impossible for her to see company. The coachman may give a most gracious invitation' to the stable-keeper, telling him that he shall expect to see him at a pity soopay he intends to give his friends; but that he will give him a few day's notice, so that business may not prevent him from having the pleasure of his company.

It is pleasant to hear a man who, by mere chance, has amassed together a considerable sum of money, talk of the dignity of his family, together with wonderful relations of most marvellous circumstances which happened during his progress through life. Like the Irishman who, happening to arrive in England on a rejoicing day, always felt a pride in informing his companions that the bells rang all the way from his landing at Chester to his arrival in London.

On the other hand, it is equally entertaining to hear a man of present prosperity boast of his former poverty, particularly to a friend, who, for obvious reasons, would rather dispense with such observations as, Ah Jack! times are changed for the better since you and I tramped up to Lunnon town with four-pence halfpenny between us. You remember nicking the old woman at Highgate out of a pot of porter, I dares to say; but never mind, my hearty, we have got hold of the shiners now, and let's keep them; nothing like scraping and raking; every little makes a mickle, as little Joe Thompson used to say.

If you have any desire to shine in politics, particularly if you should have any trifling place in any office under government, assume a proper pomposity, and carefully observe two rules that will always carry you through with eclat. The first is, if you receive information from a stranger of the earliest intelligence of the day, pay no attention to his communication, informing him that you received the intelligence at least a fortnight prior to his detail of the events, from one of your numerous continental correspondents. On the contrary, if he ask you for political intelligence, put on a grave privy-council face, and observe that things of that serious nature are not to be drawn from you on every trifling occasion; but give broad hints that you are in possession of very extraordinary intelligence though you do not think proper to divulge it.

THE LAUGHING WORLD.

Philadelphia, it is said, is most potent in punning ; and, indeed, many of our wags are not much inferior to Swift or Sheridan in this minor species of wit. Some arch jester, in a letter addressed to one of the London magazines, has indulged himself in a strain of what he calls classical quibbles. This idle play of words will cause the good-natured reader either to laugh at, or laugh with, our author; and if innocent mirth be the result of his labour, who shall say that the witling has been absurdly employed.-Editor

I AM not one of those, who in conversation smother common sense under a pillow-case of old puns. No, sir, I scorn to walk in such a broken track to the temple of Fame. But I must own, that, having fre

quently observed the fat sides and double chins of reverend divines shake with convulsive merriment at stale jokes, merely because Terence happened to be the gentleman usher who introduced them, I have lately aimed to distinguish myself by classical quibbles. My success has been highly flattering, and I shall now proceed to relate the occasions that gave them birth, giving you, at the same time, to understand that I have a large store bottled up for future use.

Quæ mox depromere possim.

If ever I attempt to see the young Roscius again, said my friend Brittle, in a rage, strait-waistcoat me.-What! to be jammed and knocked about, and, after all, kicked out in a state of high perspiration, on a damp night, without seeing him. Alas! answered I, it even fared thus with the son of Anchises:

Et jam nox humida cœlo
Precipitat.

The umbrella you lent us last night, said the two Miss Simpers, with a courtesy, was a most opportune favour. Ay, said I,

Tu Tityre lent-us in umbra.

Really, sir, said alderman Thickscull to me at the dinner given to the Spanish patriots, the night riots in London are abominable. A fellow last night, in St. Paul's church yard, struck me a horrid blow on the belly with a cane. Indeed! answered I, Virgil seems to have anticipated that assault :

Horrida bella cano

The same worthy personage harrangued the company on the virtues of a deceased premier, observing, in the course of his oration, "he was indeed a moral character. No man ever saw Pitt running after all the harlots in town." No, cried I, echoing his eulogium,

Nemo omnibus horis saw-pit.

I called last Wednesday on a gentleman who had just received a present of a quail, and who was balancing in his mind whether he should send it to his two sisters at Doncaster. Do so, said I, and folOvid's advice,

Qualem decet esse sororum.

The anecdote of the quail reminds me of more of the feathered tribe. A very worthy lady expressed her doubts to me whether ducks were fit food for females. Ay, said I, for queens. Dido eat ducks.

Speluncam Dido dux et Trojanus.

I called one Sunday evening on Dr. Cavil, a Presbyterian clergyman, who was congratulating himself on the completion of an elegant meeting-house, capable of containing a thousand sectaries. Engrave this motto, said I, over the door :

Mille habet ornatus, mille decenter habet.

I met Tom Vigil, last Monday morning, under the piazzas, swearing and scratching his elbow. What's the matter, Tom, said I. Matter! said he. Why, I lay last night at the Hummums, and could not sleep for the fleas. 'Pon my soul it is too bad, I'll tell it to the whole town. Do so, said I. Horace advises it:

Fle-bit, et insignis tota cantabitur urbe.

Now, Mr. Editor, the advantage of these classical quibbles over common English puns I take to be twofold. In the first place you secure a laugh from those who understand them, and in the second place from those who would fain be supposed to understand them. This comprehends about nineteen persons in twenty in all polite assemblies.

ANECDOTE.

THE proud Duke of Somerset employed Seymour, the celebrated painter to make some portraits of his running horses: one day at dinner, he drank to him with a disdainful sneer, Cousin Seymour, your health. The artist modestly replied, I really believe that I have the honour to be of your Grace's family. The fiery Duke immediately rose from table and sent his steward to pay and dismiss Seymour. Another painter was then sent for, who, finding himself unworthy to finish Seymour's work, honestly told the Duke so. On this the haughty Peer condescended once more to summon his cousin. The high-minded and independent artist answered his mandate in these words. My Lord, I shall now prove that I am of your Grace's family, for I WILL NOT

COME.

HULL, the player, who is well known to have been the apologist general at Covent Garden Theatre for about five and twenty years,

took it into his head at the time of the dispute between Keppel and Palliser, to distinguish himself as a lad of liberty. On the night when all London was illuminated, on Keppel's acquittal, he undertook not only to light up his house, but to treat the populace with small beer. They had drank all but one barrel which, from mere wantonness, they had left running. The door was now shut lest some of these liberty boys should take a fancy to the silver spoons. At this they grew clamorous, and bawled out very outrageously for more beer. Hull, agreeably to his custom, thinking it high time he should now make his appearance, popped his red night capped head out of the window, and there was immediately a cry of hear him, hear him. When he thus began, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have the misfortune to tell you that the spiggot is out of the faucet, and the small beer is running about the cellar, and we humbly hope for your usual indulgence.

The subsequent anecdotes are authentic and interesting. The manner in which this wretched victim of despotic power passed his prison hours is a noble proof of the elasticity of the human mind, and that fortunate power, which some men possess of complying, with the best possible grace, with the sternest mandates of relentless Adversity.

At the time of the first war between the king of Prussia and the house of Austria, Trenck being young and enterprizing, offered himself with a small band of determined men, to carry off the king of Prussia when he went out from his camp to reconnoitre the position of the Austrians. In fact he did attempt the enterprize; but succeeded so ill, that he was taken prisoner himself, and condemned to perpetual confinement in the castle of Magdebourg. The treatment he received was equally singular and cruel. He was chained standing against the wall; so that, for several years, he could neither sit, nor lie down. His guards had orders, not to let him sleep more than a certain time; very short, but long enough to prevent his strength from being entirely exhausted. He remained four or five years in this dreadful situation, after which there being reason to fear he could not live long in that state, he was chained in such a manner that he might sit down, which appeared to him to be a great alleviation of his sufferings. He told me himself that after having suffered severe illness, during the first years of his imprisonment his constitution, which was strong and robust, was so unbroken that he recovered his health; and though he received no sustenance but bread and water, yet he was remarkably well and resumed his former gayety. In this state of mind he found means to sooth the tedium of so long an imprisonment by making verses, which he set to music, as well as he could, and sung for half the day. As he had nothing worse to dread, the king of Prussia was frequently the subject of his songs, and was not spared in them. He also had recourse

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