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Speed. Item, She hath no teeth.
Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
Speed. Item, She is curst.
Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall : if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised.
Speed. Item, She is too liberal.
Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she's slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep sbut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed.
Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
Laun. Stop there; I'll have her : she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more.
Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,
Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair, that covers the wit, is more than the wit ; for the greater hides the less. What's next?
Speed. - And more faults than hairs,-
Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious :
Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,—that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.
Speed. For me!
Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou ? he hath staid for a better man than thee.
Speed. And must I go to him?
Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn.
Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner ? 'pox of your love-letters !
[Erit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets !—I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
SCENE II.-The same. A Room in the Duke's Palace.
Enter Duke and Thurio; Proteus behind.
Thu. Since his exile she hath despis’d me most,
Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure
Pro. Gone, my good lord.
Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously.
Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.-
Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace,
Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect The match between sir Thurio and my daughter.
Pro. I do, my lord.
Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will.
Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.
Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so. What might we do, to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love sir Thurio ?
Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent; Three things that women highly hold in hate.
Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoken in hate.
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it :
Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him.
Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do: 'Tis an ill office for a gentleman ; Especially, against his very friend.
Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him, Your slander never can endamage him ; Therefore the office is indifferent, Being entreated to it by your friend.
Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord : If I can do it, By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, She shall not long continue love to him. But say, this weed her love from Valentine, It follows not that she will love sir Thurio.
Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, You must provide to bottom it on me: Which must be done, by praising me as much As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine,
Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind; Because we know, on Valentine's report, You are already love's firm votary, And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. Upon this warrant shall you have access, Where you with Silvia may confer at large; For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy, And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you; Where you may temper her, by your persuasion, To hate young Valentine, and love my friend.
Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect :-
you, sir Thurio, are not sharp enough ;
Duke. Ay, much the force of heaven-bred poesy.
Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty
Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones,
Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love.
Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice : Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction giver, Let us into the city presently, To sort some gentlemen well-skilled in music: I have a sonnet, that will serve the turn, To give the onset to thy good advice.
Duke. About it, gentlemen.
Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper: And afterward determine our proceedings. Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you.