most interesting of all subjects. Cowardly backwardness: For whosoever is ashamed of me and my words,' &c." At this time, hearing, concerning a friend of the family, that she had said, "that she was determined to keep by the world," he penned the following lines on her melancholy decision: She has chosen the world, With its misnamed pleasures: Before heaven's own treasures. She hath launched her boat But Bethlehem's star Is not in her view; And her aim is far From the harbor true. When the storm descends And heaven is sealed To the wandering one! The whirlpool opes For the gallant prize; Of the place of woe, For the human heart Can ne'er conceive Of them who believe; Away, then-oh, fly From the joys of earth! There's a sting in her mirth. "March 6.-Wild wind and rain all day long. Hebrew class -psalms. New beauty in the original every time I read. Dr. Welsh-lecture on Pliny's letter about the Christians of Bithynia. Professor Jameson on quartz. Dr. Chalmers grappling with Hume's arguments. Evening.-Notes and little else. Mind and body dull." This is a specimen of his register of daily study. March 20.-After a few sentences in Latin, concluding with, "In meam animam veni, Domine Deus omnipotens," he writes, "Leaning on a staff of my own devising, it betrayed me, and broke under me. It was not thy staff. Resolving to be a god, thou showedst me that I was but a man. But my own staff being broken, why may I not lay hold of thine?-Read part of the life of Jonathan Edwards. How feeble does my spark of Christianity appear beside such a sun! But even his was a borrowed light, and the same source is still open to enlighten me." 66 April 8.-Have found much rest in him who bore all our burdens for us." 66 April 26.-To-night I ventured to break the ice of unchristian silence. Why should not selfishness be buried beneath the Atlantic in matters so sacred?" May 6.-Saturday evening. This was the evening previous to the Communion, and in prospect of again declaring himself the Lord's, at his Table, he enters into a brief review of his state. He had partaken of the ordinance in May of the year before for the first time; but he was then living at ease, and saw not the solemn nature of the step he took. He now sits down and reviews the past: "What a mass of corruption have I been! How great a portion of my life have I spent wholly without God in the world; given up to sense and the perishing things around me. Naturally of a feeling and sentimental disposition, how much of my religion has been, and to this day is, tinged with these colors of earth! Restrained from open vice by educational views and the fear of man, how much ungodliness has reigned within me! How often has it broken through all restraints, and come out in the shape of lusts and anger, mad ambitions, and unhallowed words! Though my vice was always refined, yet how subtile and how awfully prevalent it was! How complete a test was the Sabbath-spent in weariness, as much of it as was given to God's service! How I polluted it by my hypocrisies, my self-conceits, my worldly thoughts, and worldly friends! How formally and unheedingly the Bible was read-how little was read-so little that even now I have not read it all! How unboundedly was the wild impulse of the heart obeyed! How much more was the creature loved than the Creator!- -O great God, that didst suffer me to live whilst I so dishonored thee, thou knowest the whole; and it was thy hand alone that could awaken me from the death in which I was, and was contented to be. Gladly would I have escaped from the Shepherd that sought me as I strayed; but he took me up in his arms and carried me back; and yet he took me not for any thing that was in me. I was no more fit for his service than the Australian, and no more worthy to be called and chosen. Yet, why should I doubt? not that God is unwilling, not that he is unable-of both I am assured. But, perhaps, my old sins are too fearful, and my unbelief too glaring? Nay; I come to Christ, not although I am a sinner, but just because I am a sinner, even the chief." He then adds, " And though sentiment and constitutional enthusiasm may have a great effect on me, still I believe that my soul is in sincerity desirous and earnest about having all its concerns at rest with God and Christ-that his kingdom occupies the most part of all my thoughts, and even of my long-polluted affections. Not unto me, not unto me, be the shadow of praise or of merit ascribed, but let all glory be given to thy most holy name! As surely as thou didst make the mouth with which I pray, so surely dost thou prompt every prayer of faith which I utter. Thou hast made me all that I am, and given me all that I have." Next day, after communicating, he writes: "I well remember when I was an enemy, and especially abhorred this ordinance as binding me down; but if I be bound to Christ in heart, I shall not dread any bands that can draw me close to him." Evening. "Much peace. Look back, my soul, and view the mind that belonged to thee but twelve months ago—my soul, thy place is in the dust!" "May 19.-Thought with more comfort than usual of being a witness for Jesus in a foreign land." "June 4.-Walking with A. Somerville by Craigleith. Conversing on missions. If I am to go to the heathen to speak of the unsearchable riches of Christ, this one thing must be given me, to be out of the reach of the baneful influence of esteem or contempt. If worldly motives go with me, I shall never convert a soul, and shall lose my own in the labor." "June 22.-Variety of studies. Septuagint translation of Exodus and Vulgate. Bought Edwards' works. Drawing-Truly there was nothing in me that should have induced him to choose me. I was but as the other brands upon whom the fire is already kindled, which shall burn for evermore! And as soon could the billet leap from the hearth and become a green tree, as my soul could have sprung to newness of life." June 25. In reference to the office of the holy ministry: "How apt are we to lose our hours in the vainest babblings, as do the world! How can this be with those chosen for the mighty office? fellow-workers with God? heralds of his son? evangelists? men set apart to the work, chosen out of the chosen, as it were, the very pick of the flocks, who are to shine as the stars for ever and ever? Alas! alas! my soul, where shalt thou appear ? O Lord God, I am a little child! But thou wilt send an angel with a live-coal from off the altar, and touch my unclean lips, and put a tongue within my dry mouth, so that I shall say with Isaiah, Here am I, send me.' Then, after reading a little of Edwards' works, "O that heart and understanding may grow together, like brother and sister, leaning on one another." 6 "June 27.-Life of David Brainerd. Most wonderful man! What conflicts, what depressions, desertions, strength, advancement, victories within thy torn bosom! I cannot express what I think when I think of thee. To-night, more set upon missionary enterprize than ever." "June 28.-O for Brainerd's humility and sin-loathing dispositions !" O wretched "June 30.-Much carelessness, sin, and sorrow. man that I am, who shall deliver me from this body of sin and death? Enter thou, my soul, into the rock, and hide thee in the dust for fear of the Lord and the glory of his majesty." And then he writes a few verses, of which the following are some stanzas:-— I will arise and seek my God, Lay all my sins before him; Then he will wash my soul from sin, And teach me to adore him. O ye that fain would find the joy- I come to Christ, because I know And when in faith I find him, Until he says, "Unbind him." "July 3.-This last bitter root of worldliness that has so often. betrayed me has this night so grossly, that I cannot but regard it as God's chosen way to make me loathe and forsake it for ever. I would vow; but it is much more like a weakly worm to pray. Sit in the dust, O my soul !" I believe he was enabled to keep his resolution. Once only, in the end of this year, was he again led back to gaiety; but it was the last time. "July 7.—Saturday.-After finishing my usual studies, tried to fast a little, with much prayer and earnest seeking of God's face, remembering what occurred this night last year." (Alluding to his brother's death.) "July 22.-Had this evening a more complete understanding of that self-emptying and abasement with which it is necessary to come to Christ-a denying of self, trampling it under foot-a recognizing of the complete righteousness and justice of God, that could do nothing else with us but condemn us utterly, and thrust us down to lowest hell,-a feeling that, even in hell, we should rejoice in his sovereignty, and say that all was rightly done." 66 August 15.-Little done, and as little suffered. Awfully important question-Am I redeeming the time?" "August 18.--Heard of the death of James Somerville* by fever, induced by cholera. O God, thy ways and thoughts are not as ours! He had preached his first sermon. I saw him last on Friday, 27th of July, at the College gate; shook hands; and little thought I was to see him no more on earth. "September 2.-Sabbath evening.-Reading. Too much engrossed, and too little devotional. Preparation for a fall. Warning. We may be too engrossed with the shell even of heavenly things." 66 Sept. 9.-Oh for true, unfeigned humility! I know I have cause to be humble; and yet I do not know one half of that cause. I know I am proud; and yet I do not know the half of that pride." Son of the minister of Drumelzier-very promising and very amiable. 1 66 Sept. 30.-Somewhat straitened by loose Sabbath observance. Best way is to be explicit and manly.' "November 1.-More abundant longings for the work of the ministry. O that Christ would but count me faithful, that a dispensation of the Gospel might be committed to me!" And then he adds, "Much peace. Peaceful, because believing." December 2.-Hitherto he used to spend much of the Sabbath evening in extending his notes of Mr. Bruce's sermons; but now, "Determined to be brief with these for the sake of a more practical, meditative, resting, sabbatical evening." "Dec. 11.-Mind quite unfitted for devotion. prayer." 66 Prayerless pre Dec. 31.-God has in this past year introduced me to the paration of the ministry-I bless him for that. He has helped me to give up much of my shame to name his name, and be on his side, especially before particular friends-I bless him for that. He has taken conclusively away friends that might have been a snare must have been a stumbling-block-I bless him for that. He has introduced me to one Christian friend, and sealed more and more my amity with another-I bless him for that." January 27, 1833.-On this day it had been the custom of his brother David to write a "Carmen Natale" on their father's birthday. Robert took up the domestic song this year; and, in doing so, makes some beautiful and tender allusions. "Ah! where is the harp that was strung to thy praise, When the tears that we shed were the tears of our joy, Though he sparkled the gem in our circle of love, He is even more prized in the circles above. And though sweetly he sung of his father on earth, As he sings to his unborn Father in heaven." February 3.-Writing to a medical friend of his brother William's, he says "I remember long ago a remark you once made to William, which has somehow or other stuck in my head, viz., that medical men ought to make a distinct study of the Bible, purely for the sake of administering conviction and consolation to their patients. I think you also said that you had actually begun with that view. Such a determination, though formed in youth, is one which I trust riper years will not make you blush to own." "Feb. 11.-Somewhat overcome. Let me see: there is a creep |