'MONGST all the rules the ancients had in vogue,
We find no nention of an epilogue,
Which plainly shows they're innovations, brought
Since rules, design, and nature, were forgot;
The custom therefore our next play shall break,
But now a joyful motive bids us speak;
For while our arms return with conquest home,
While children prattle Vigo and the boom,
Is't fit the mouth of all mankind, the stage, be
dumb?

While the proud Spaniards read old annals o'er,
And on the leaves in lazy safety pore,
Essex and Raleigh thunder on their shore;
Again their donships start and mend their speed,
With the same fear of their forefathers dead.
While Amadis de Gaul laments in vain,
And wishes his young Quixote out of Spain:
While foreign forts are but beheld and seized,
While English hearts tumultuously are pleased,
Shall we, whose sole subsistence purely flows
From minds in joy, or undisturbed repose,
Shall we behold each face with pleasure glow,
Unthankful to the arms that made them so?

Shall we not say

Old English honour now revives again,
Memorably fatal to the pride of Spain;
But hold-

While Anne repeats the vengeance of Eliza's reign!

For to the glorious conduct sure that drew
A senate's grateful vote our adoration's due;
From that alone all other thanks are poor,
The old triumphing Romans ask'd no more,
And Rome indeed gave all within its power.
But your superior stars, that knew too well
You English heroes should old Rome's excel,
To crown your arms beyond the bribes of spoil,
Raised English beauty to reward your toil:
Though seized of all the rifled world had lost,
So fair a circle [To the boxes.] Rome could never
boast.

Proceed, auspicious Chiefs! inflame the war,
Pursue your conquest, and possess the fair,
That ages may record of them and you,
They only could inspire what you alone could do.

Of all the various vices of the age,
And shoals of fools exposed upon the stage,
How few are lasht that call for satire's rage!
What can you think to see our plays so full
Of madmen, coxcombs, and the drivelling fool?
Of cits, of sharpers, rakes and roaring bullies,
Of cheats, of cuckolds, aldermen and cullies?
Would not one swear, 'twere taken for a rule,
That satire's rod, in the dramatic school,
Was only meant for the incorrigible fool?
As if too vice and folly were confined
To the vile scum alone of human kind,
Creatures a muse should scorn; such abject

trash

Deserves not satire's, but the hangman's lash.
Wretches, so far shut out from sense of shame,
Newgate or Bedlam only should reclaim;
For satire ne'er was meant to make wild monsters
tame.
No, sirs-

We rather think the persons fit for plays,
Are they whose birth and education says
They've every help that should improve mankind,
Yet still are slaves to a vile tainted mind;
Such as in wit are often seen to abound,
And yet have some weak part where folly's found:
For follies sprout, like weeds, highest in fruitful
ground.

And, 'tis observed, the garden of the mind
To no infestive weed's so much inclined
As the rank pride that some from affectation
find:

A folly too well known to make its court
With most success among the better sort.
Such are the persons we to-day provide,
And nature's fools for once are laid aside.
This is the ground on which our play we build,
But in the structure, must to judgment yield:
And where the poet fails in art, or care,

We beg your wonted mercy to the player.

SCENE I-Sir CHARLES EASY's Lodgings.

Enter Lady EASY.

Lady Easy. Was ever woman's spirit, by an injurious husband, broke like mine? A vile licentious man! must he bring home his follies, too? Wrong me with my very servant! O! how tedious a relief is patience! and yet, in my condition, 'tis the only remedy: for to reproach him with my wrongs, is taking on myself the means of a redress, bidding defiance to his falsehood, and naturally but provokes him to undo me. The uneasy thought of my continual jealousy may teaze him to a fixed aversion; and hitherto, though he neglects, I cannot think he hates me. It must be so since I want power to please him, he never shall upbraid me with an attempt of making him uneasy-My eyes and tongue shall yet be blind and silent to my wrongs; nor would I have him think my virtue could suspect him, till, by some gross, apparent proof of his misdoing, he forces me to see-and to forgive it.

Enter EDGING, hastily.

Edg. O madam!

Lady Easy. What's the matter? Edg. I have the strangest thing to shew your ladyship such a discovery

Lady Easy. You are resolved to make it without much ceremony, I find. What's the business, pray?

Edg. The business, madam! I have not patience to tell you; I am out of breath at the very thoughts on't; I shall not be able to speak this half hour.

Lady Easy. Not to the purpose, I believe! but, methinks, you talk impertinently with a great deal of ease.

Edg. Nay, madam, perhaps not so impertinent as your ladyship thinks; there is that will speak to the purpose, I am sure-A base man

[Gives a letter, Lady Easy. What is this? An open letter! Whence comes it?

Edg. Nay, read it, madam; you will soon guess-If these are the tricks of husbands, keep me a maid still, say I.

Lady Easy. [Looking on the superscription.] To Sir Charles Easy! Ha! Too well I know this hateful hand. O my heart! but I must veil my jealousy, which 'tis not fit this creature should suppose I am acquainted with. [Aside.] This direction is to your inaster; how came you by it?

Edg. Why, madam, as my master was lying

down, after he came in from hunting, he sent me into his dressing-room, to fetch his snuff-box out of his waistcoat pocket; and so, as i was searching for the box, madam, there I found this wicked letter from a mistress; which I had no sooner read, but, I declare it, my very blood rose at him again; methought I could have torn him and her to pieces.

Lady Easy. Intolerable! This odious thing's jealous of him herself, and wants me to join with her in a revenge upon him-Sure I am fallen, indeed! But 'twere to make me lower yet, to let her think I understand her. [Astle.

Edg. Nay, pray, madam, read it; you will be out of patience at it.

Lady Easy. You are bold, mistress; has my indulgence, or your master's good humour, flattered you into the assurance of reading his letters? a liberty I never gave myself-Here-lay it where you had it immediately-Should he know of your sauciness, 'twould not be my favour could protect you. [Exit Lady EASY.

Edg. Your favour! marry come up! sure I don't depend upon your favour! It's not come to that, I hope. Poor creature!--don't you think I am my master's mistress for nothing. You shall find, madam, I won't be snapt up as I have been-Not but it vexes me to think she should not be as uneasy as I. I am sure he is a base man to me, and I could cry my eyes out that she should not think him as bad to her every jot. If I am wronged, sure she may very well expect it, that is but his wife-A conceited thing -she need not be so casy, neither-I am as bandsome as she, I hope-Here's my master-I'll try whether I am to be huffed by her or no.

[Walks behind.

Enter Sir CHARLES EASY.

Sir Cha. So! The day is come again !—Life but rises to another stage, and the same dull journey is before us. How like children do we judge of happiness! When I was stinted in my fortune, almost every thing was a pleasure to me, because most things then being out of my reach, I had always the pleasure of hoping for them; now fortune's in my hand, she is as insipid as an old acquaintance-It is mighty silly faith! Just the same thing by my wife, too; I am told she is extremely handsome-nay, and have heard a great many people say, she is certainly the best woman in the world-Why, I don't know but she may; yet I could never find that her person or good qualities gave me any concern. In my eye the woman has no more charms than my mother.

Edg. Hum! he takes no notice of me yet

I'll let him see I can take as little notice of him. [She walks by him gravely; he turns her about and holds her; she struggles.] Pray, sir!

Sir Cha. A pretty pert air, that--I'll humour it-What's the matter, child? Are not you well? Kiss me, hussy.

Edg. No, the deuce fetch me if I do!

Sir Cha. Has any thing put thee out of humour, love?

Edg. No, sir, 'tis not worth my being out of humour at-though, if ever you have any thing to say to me again, I'll be burned.

Sir Cha. Somebody has belied me to thee. Edg. No, sir, 'tis you have belied yourself to me-Did not I ask you, when you first made a fool of me, if you would be always constant to me? and did not you say I might be sure you would? And here, instead of that, you are going on in your old intrigue with my lady Graveairs.

Sir Cha. So

Edg. Beside, don't you suffer my lady to huff me every day as if I were her dog, or had no more concern with you-I declare I won't bear it, and she sha'n't think to huff me-for aught I know, I am as agreeable as she: and though she dares not take any notice of your baseness to her, you sha'n't think to use me so--and so, pray, take your nasty letter-I know the hand well enough-for my part, I won't stay in the family to be abused at this rate; I that have refused lords and dukes for your sake. I'd have you to know, sir, I have had as many blue and green ribbons after me, for aught I know, as would have made me a falbala apron.

Sir Cha. My lady Graveairs! my nasty letter! and I won't stay in the family! Death! I'm in a pretty condition !-What an unlimited privilege has this jade got from being a whore!

Edg. I suppose, sir, you think to use every body as you do your wife.

Sir Cha. And your ladyship's pretty curiosity has looked it over, I presume-ha?

[Shakes her again. Edg. O lud! dear sir, don't be angry-indeed I'll never touch one again.

Sir Cha. I don't believe you will, and I'll tell you how you shall be sure you never will. Edg. Yes, sir.

Edg. Yes, sir.

Sir Cha. By stedfastly believing, that the next time you offer it, you will have your pretty white neck twisted behind you. [Curt'sying. Sir Cha. And you will be sure to remember every thing I have said to you? Edg. Yes, sir.

Sir Cha. And now, child, I was not angry with your person, but your follies; which, since I find you are a little sensible of-don't be wholly discouraged-for I believe I-I shall have occasion for you again

Edg. Yes, sir.

Sir Chu. In the mean time, let me hear no more of your lady, child.

Edg. No, sir.

Sir Cha. Here she comes: be gone!

Edg. Yes, sir-Oh! I was never so frightened in my life.

[Exit.

Sir Cha. So! good discipline makes good soldiers--It often puzzles me to think, from my own carelessness, and my wife's continual good humour, whether she really knows any thing of the strength of my forces-I'll sift her a little.

Enter Lady EASY.

My dear, how do you do? You are dressed very early to-day: are you going out?

Lady Easy. Only to church, my dear.
Sir Chu. Is it so late, then?

Lady Easy. The bell has just rung.

Sir Cha. Well, child, how does Windsor air

Edg. Oh!

[Seizing her by the shoulder.

Sir Chu. When you speak of my wife, you are to say your lady, and you are never to speak of your lady to me in any regard of her being my wife-for, look you, child, you are not her strumpet, but mine; therefore, I only give you leave to be saucy with me. In the next place, you are never to suppose there is any such person as my lady Graveairs; and lastly, my pretty one, how came you by this letter?

Edg. It's no matter, perhaps.

Sir Cha. Ay, but if you should not tell me quickly, how are you sure I won't take a great piece of flesh out of your shoulder, my dear?

[Shakes her. you, sir.

Edg. O lud! O lud! I will tell
Sir Cha. Quickly then.
Edg. Oh! I took it out of your pocket, sir.
Sir Chu. When?

Edg. Oh! this morning, when you sent me for your snuff-box.

VOL. III.

yet or have you a mind to go to London again ? Lady Easy. No, indeed, my dear; the air is so very pleasant, that if it were a place of less company, I could be content to end my days here.

Sir Cha. Pr'ythee, my dear, what sort of company would most please you?

Lady Easy. When business would permit it, yours; and, in your absence, a sincere friend, that were truly happy in an honest husband, to sit a cheerful hour, and talk in mutual praise of our condition.

Sir Cha. Are you then really very happy, my dear?

Lady Easy. Why should you question it? [Smiling on him. Sir Cha. Because I fancy I am not so good to you as I should be.

Lady Easy. Pshaw !

Sir Chu. Nay, the deuce take me if I don't really confess myself so bad, that I have often wondered how any woman of your sense, rank, and person, could think it worth her while to have so many useless good qualities. 2 s

Lady Easy. Fie, my dear!

Sir Cha. By my soul, I am serious! Lady Easy. I cannot boast of my good qualities, nor, if I could, do I believe you think them useless.

Sir Cha. Nay, I submit to you-Don't you find them so? Do you perceive that I am one tittle the better husband for your being so good a wife? Lady Easy. Pshaw! you jest with me.

Sir Cha. Upon my life I don't-Tell me truly, was you never jealous of me?

Lady Easy. Did I ever give you any sign of it? Sir Cha. Um-that's true-but do you really think I never gave you occasion?

Lady Easy. That's an odd question-but pose you had?

Sir Cha. Why then, what good has your virtue done you, since all the good qualities of it could not keep me to yourself?

Lady Easy. What occasion have you given me to suppose I have not kept you to myself?

Sir Cha. I given you occasion-Fie! My dear -you may be sure-I-look you, that is not the thing, but still a-(death! what a blunder have I made?)-a-still, I say, madam, you sha'n't make me believe you have never been jealous of me; not that you ever had any real cause, but I know women of your principles have more pride than those that have no principles at all; and where there is pride, there must be some jealousyso that, if you are jealous, my dear, you know you wrong me, and

Lady Easy. Why then, upon my word, my dear, I don't know that ever I wronged you that way in my life.

Sir Cha. But suppose I had given a real cause to be jealous, how would you do then?

Lady Easy. It must be a very substantial one that makes me jealous.

Sir Cha. Say it were a substantial one; sup. pose, now, I were well with a woman of your own acquaintance, that, under pretence of frequent visits to you, should only come to carry on an affair with me-suppose, now, my lady Graveairs and I were great?

Lady Easy. Would I could not suppose it! [Aside. Sir Chu. If I come off here, I believe I am pretty safe [Aside.]-Suppose, I say, my lady Graveairs and I were so very familiar, that not only yourself, but half the town should see it?

Lady Easy. Then I should cry myself sick in some dark closet, and forget my tears when you spoke kindly to me.

Sir Ch. The most convenient piece of virtue, sure, that ever wife was mistress of. [Aside. Lady Easy. But pray, my dear, did you ever think that I had any ill thoughts of my lady Graveairs?

Sir Cha. O fie, child! only you know she and I used to be a little free sometimes; so I had a mind to see if you thought there was any harm in it; but since I find you so very easy, I think myself obliged to tell you, that, upon my soul, my dear, I have so little regard to her person, that the

Lady Easy. This excess of carelessness to me excuses half his vices. If I can make him once think seriously-Time yet may be my friend.

Enter a Servant.

[Aside.

Serv. Sir, Lord Morelove gives his serviceSir Cha, Lord Morelove? where is he?Serv. At the Chocolate-house; he called me to him as I went by, and bid me tell your honour he'll wait upon you presently.

Lady Easy. I thought you had not expected him here again this season, my dear.

Sir Cha. I thought so, too; but you see there's no depending upon the resolution of a man that's in love.

Lady Easy. Is there a chair? Serv. Yes, madam. [Exit Servant. Lady Easy. I suppose Lady Betty Modish has drawn him hither.

Sir Cha. Ay, poor soul, for all his bravery, I am afraid so.

Lady Easy. Well, my dear, I ha'n't time to ask my lord how he does now; you'll excuse me to him, but I hope you'll make him dine with us.

Sir Cha. I'll ask him. If you see Lady Betty at prayers, make her dine, too: but don't take any notice of my lord's being in town.

Lady Easy. Very well! if I should not meet her there, I'll call at her lodgings. Sir Cha. Do so.

Lady Easy. My dear, your servant.

[Exit Lady EASY. Sir Cha. My dear, I'm yours.--Well! one way or other, this woman will certainly bring about her business with me at last; for though she cannot make me happy in her own person, she lets me be so intolerably easy with the women that can, that she has at least brought me into a fair way of being as weary of them, too.

Enter Servant and Lord MORELOVE. Serv. Sir, my lord's come.

Ld More. Dear Charles!

Sir Cha. My dear lord! this is an happiness undreamt of; I little thought to have seen you at Windsor again this season! I concluded, of