P. sen. Next, I restore these servants to their lady, [nance; With freedom, heart of chear, and counte It is their year and day of jubilee. Tra. We thank you, sir. [Her Train thanks him. P. sen. And lastly, to my nephew I give my house, goods, lands, all but my vices, And those I go to cleanse; kissing this lady, Whom I do give him too, and join their hands. [we thank 'em. P. Ca. If the spectators will join theirs, P. jun. And wish they may, as I, enjoy Pecunia. Pec. And so Pecunia herself doth wish, That she may still be aid unto their uses, Not slave unto their pleasures, or a tyrant Over their fair desires; but teach them all. The golden mean; the prodigal how to live; The sordid and the covetous how to die: That, with sound mind; this, safe frugality. • Picklock, your guest, that SENATOR, hath infected you.] So the edition of 1716: the old edition, as it stands in the text, "that Stentor;" an appellation not improper for a noisy, bawling lawyer. Though the CLOUT we do not always hit.] The metapor from archery: the clout is the white mark in the butts, which the archers aimed at. And so it is used by Shakspeare. This Comedy was acted in the year 1605, By the KING'S MAJESTY'S Servants. THE NEW INN; OR, THE LIGHT HEART. THE ARGUMENT. HE was married young, to a virtuous gentlewoman, Sylly's daughter of the South, whose worth (tho' he truly enjoyed) he never could rightly value; but, as many green husbands (given over to their extravagant delights, and some peccant humours of their own), occasioned in his over-loving wife so deep a melancholy, by his leaving her in the time of her lying-in of her second daughter, she having brought him only two daughters, Frances and Lætitia: and (out of her hurt fancy) interpreting that to be a cause of her husband's cold. ness in affection, her not being blest with a son, took a resolution with herself, after her month's time, and thanksgiving rightly in the church, to quit her home, with a vow never to return, till by reducing her lord, she could bring a wished happiness to the family. He in the mean time returning, and hearing of this departure of his lady, began, tho' over-late, to resent the injury he had done her; and out of his cock-brain'd resolution, entered into as solemn a quest of her. Since when, neither of them had been heard of. But the eldest daughter Frances, by the title of Lady Frampul, enjoyed the estate, her sister being lost young, and is the sole relict of the family. ACT I. Here begins our Comedy. This lady, being a brave, bountiful lady, and enjoying this free and plentiful estate, hath an ambitious disposition to be esteemed the mistress of many servants, but loves none. And hearing of a famous New-Inn, that is kept by a merry host, call'd Good-stock, in Barnet, invites some lords and gentlemen to wait on her thither, as well to see the fashions of the place, as to make themselves merry, with the accidents on the by. It happens there is a melancholy gentleman, one master Lovel, hath been lodged there some days before in the Inn, who (unwilling to be seen) is surprized by the lady, and invited by Prudence, the lady's chambermaid, who is elected governess of the sports in the Inn for that day, and install'd their sovereign. Lovel is persuaded by the host, and yields to the lady's invitation; which concludes the first act: having reveal'd his quality before to the host. In the Second ACT, Prudence and her lady express their anger conceiv'd at the taylor, who had promised to make Prudence a new suit, and bring it home, as on the eve, against this day. But he failing of his word, the lady had commanded a standard of her own best apparel to be brought down; and Prudence is so fitted. The lady being put in mind, that she is there alone without other company of women, borrows (by the advice of Pru) the host's son of the house, whom they dress with the host's consent, like a lady, and send out the coachman with the empty coach, as for a kinswoman of her ladyship's, mistress Lætitia Sylly, to bear her company: who attended with his nurse, an old chare-woman in the Inn, drest oddly by the host's counsel, is believed to be a lady of quality, and so receiv'd, entertain'd, and love made to her by the young lord Beaufort, &c. In the mean time the Fly of the Inn is discover'd to colonel Glorious, with the militia of the house, below the stairs, in the drawer, tapster, chamberlain, and hostler, inferior officers; with the coachman Trundle, Ferret, &c. And the preparation is made to the lady's design upon Lovel, his upon her, and the sovereign's upon both. Here begins, at the Third AC T, the Epitasis, or business of the Play. Lovel, by the dexterity and wit of the sovereign of the sports Prudence, having two hours assign'd him of free colloquy, and love-making to his mistress, one after dinner, the other after supper; the court being set, is demanded by the lady Frampul, what love is? as doubting if there were any such power, or no. To whom he, first by definition, and after by argument, answers; proving and describing the effects of love, so vively, as she, who had derided the name of love before, hearing his discourse, is now so taken both with the man and his matter, as she confesseth herself enamour'd of him, and, but for the ambition she hath to enjoy the other hour, had presently declared herself: which gives both him and the spectators occasion to think she yet dissembles, notwithstanding the payment of her kiss, which he celebrates. And the court dissolves, upon news brought, of a new lady, a newer coach, and a new coachman call'd Barnaby. ACT IV. The house being put into a noise, with the rumour of this new lady, and there being drinking below in the court, the colonel sir Glorious, with Bat Burst a broken citizen, and Hodge Huffle his champion; she falls into their hands, and being attended but with one footman, is uncivilly intreated by them, and a quarrel commenc'd, but is rescued by the valour of Lovel; which beheld by the lady Frampul, from the window, she is invited up for safety, where coming, and conducted by the host, her gown is first discovered to be the same with the whole suit, which was bespoken for Pru, and she herself, upon examination, found to be Pinnacia Stuff, the taylor's wife, who was wont to be pre-occupied in all his customers' best clothes, by the footman her husband. They are both condemned and censur'd, she stript like a doxey, and sent home a-foot. In the interim, the second hour goes on, and the question, at suit of the lady Frampul, is changed from love to valour; which ended, he receives his second kiss, and, by the rigour of the sovereign, falls into a fit of melancholy, worse, or more desperate than the first. The Fifth and last ACT Is the catastrophe, or knitting up of all, where Fly brings word to the host of the lord Beaufort's being married privately in the New-stable, to the supposed lady, his son; which the host receives as an omen of mirth; but complains that Lovel is gone to bed melancholic, when Prudence appears drest in the new suit, applauded by her lady, and employed to retrieve Lovel. The host encounters them, with this relation of lord Beaufort's marriage, which is seconded by the lord Latimer, and all the servants of the house. In this while, lord Beaufort comes in, and professes it, calls for .s bed and bride-bowl to be made ready; the host forbids both, shews whom he hath married, and discovers him to be his son, a boy. The lord bridegroom confounded, the nurse enters like a frantic bedlamite, cries out on Fly, says she is undone in her daughter, who is confessed to be the lord Frampul's child, sister to the other lady, the host to be their father, she his wife. He finding his children, bestows them one on Lovel, the other on the lord Beaufort, the Inn upon Fly, who had been a gypsy with him; offers a portion with Prudence, for her wit, which is refused; and she taken by the lord Latimer to wife, for the crown of her virtue and goodness. And all are contented. G PERSONS REPRESENTED: With some short Characterism of the chief Actors. OOD-STOCK, the host (play'd well) aliàs the Lord FRAMPUL. He pretends to be a gentleman and a scholar, neglected by the times, turns host, and keeps an inn, the sign of the Light-Heart in Barnet: is supposed to have one only son, but is found to have none, but two daughters, Frances, and Lætitia who was lost young, &c. LOVEL, a complete gentleman, a soldier and a scholar, is a melancholy guest in the Inn: first quarrel'd, after much honour'd and belov'd by the host. He is known to have been page to the old lord Beaufort, follow'd him in the French wars, after a companion of his studies, and left guardian to his son. He is assisted in his love to the lady Frampul, by the host, and the chambermaid Prudence. He was one that acted well too. FERRET, who is called Stote and Vermin, is Lovel's servant, a fellow of a quick nimble wit, knows the manners and affections of people, and can make profitable and timely discoveries of them. FRANK, suppos'd a boy, and the host's son, borrowed to be drest for a lady, and set up as a stale by Prudence, to catch Beaufort or Latimer, proves to be Lætitia, sister to Frances, and lord Frampul's younger daughter, stolen by a beggar-woman, shorn, put into boy's apparel, sold to the host, and brought up by him as his son. NURSE, a poor chare-woman in the Inn, with one eye, that tends the boy, is thought the Irish beggar that sold him, but is truly the lady Frampul, who left her home melan cholic, and jealous that her lord lov'd her not, because she brought him none but daughters, and lives unknown to her husband, as he to her. FRANCES, supposed the lady Frampul, being reputed his sole daughter and heir, the barony descending upon her, is a lady of great fortune, and beauty, but phantastical: thinks nothing a felicity, but to have a multitude of servants, and be call'd mistress by them, comes to the Inn to be merry, with a chambermaid only, and her servants her guests, &c. PRUDENCE, the chamber-maid, is elected sovereign of the sports in the Inn, governs all, commands, and so orders, as the lord Latimer is exceedingly taken with her, and takes her to his wife, in conclusion. Lord LATIMER and lord BEAUFORT, are a pair of young lords, servants and guests to the lady Frampul; but as Latimer falls enamour'd of Prudence, so doth Beaufort on the boy, the host's son, set up for Lætitia, the younger sister, which she proves to be indeed. Sir GLORIOUS TIPTO, a knight, and colonel, hath the luck to think well of himself, without a rival, talks gloriously of any thing, but very seldom is in the right. He is the lady's guest, and her servant too; but this day utterly neglects his service, or that him. For he is so enamour'd on the Fly of the Inn, and the militia below stairs, with Hodge Huffle, and Bat Burst, guests that come in, and Trundle, Barnaby, &c. as no other society relisheth with him. FLY, is the parasite of the Inn, visitor-general of the house, one that had been a strolling gipsy, but now is reclaim'd, to be inflamer of the reckonings. PIERCE, the drawer, knighted by the colonel, stil'd Sir Pierce, and young Anon, one of the chief of the infantry. JORDAN, the chamberlain, another of the militia, and an officer, commands the tertia of the beds. An IN-AND-IN man.] In-and-in was a game then in use, and played with four dice in a box: it was the usual diversion at ordinaries, and places of the like resort. THE PROLOGU E. "YOU are welcome, welcome all to the New Inn: [cheer will win "Though the old house, we hope our "Your acceptation: we ha' the same cook "Still, and the fat, who says, you sha' not look Long for your bill of fare, but every dish "Remove but that sick palate, all is well. "Or, when the expectation's grown too ACT I. SCENE I. Host, Ferret. Host. I AM not pleas'd, indeed, you are?' the right; [speak, Nor is my house pleas'd, if my sign could The sign o' the Light-Heart. There you may read it; So may your master too, if he look on't. In spite of me or my wit, he is deceiv'd; Fer. You have reason, good mine host. Or I shall hear no flails thwack. Here, your And you ha' been this fortnight, drawing fleas Out of my mats, and pounding 'em in cages Cut out of cards, and those rop'd round with pack-thread, Drawn thorough birdlime! a fine subtilty! Or poring through a multiplying-glass, Upon a captiv'd crab-louse, or a cheese mite To be dissected, as the sports of nature, By a phantastic instrument of thread, 1 Old Abbot Islip could not incent better, If SCENE II. Lovel, Ferret, Host. Lov. What's that? what's that? Fer. A buzzing of mine host About a fly a murmur that he has. Host. Sir, I am telling your Stote here, monsieur Ferret, [you, sir, (For that I hear's his name) and dare tell you have a mind to be melancholy, and musty, [Stocks, There's Footman inn, at the town's end, the Or Carrier's place, at sign o' the Broken Wain, [there, Mansions of state! take up your harbour There are both flies and fleas, and all variety Of vermin, for inspection or dissection. Lov. We ha' set our rest up here, sir, i' your heart. [not do it: Host. Sir, set your heart at rest, you shall Unless you can be jovial. Brain of man, Be jovial first, and drink, and dance, and drink. Your lodging here, and wi' your daily dumps, Is a mere libel 'gain my house and me; And, then, your scandalous commons. Lov. How, mine host? [road, here. Host. Sir, they do scandal me, upo' the A poor quotidian rack o' mutton, roasted Dry to be grated! and that driven down With beer and butter-milk, mingled together, Or clarified whey instead of claret! It is against my free-hold, my inheritance, My Magna Charta, cor latificat, bush, To drink such balder-dash, or bonny-clabber! Lov. Humorous host. Or prior Bolton with his BOLT and TON.] The reader may find in Camden's Remains, the rebus made use of by these ecclesiasticks to express their names on the several buildings erected by them, or belonging to them. It may not perhaps be immaterial to mention, that the word bolt is the same with arrow; which is the sense it bears in the proverbial expres ion, and in all our old writers. The bolt and ton, is a ton pierc'd through with an arrow. |