Then we trotted gentle, not to break the bloomin' glass, Though the Arabites 'ad all their ranges marked; But we dursn't 'ardly gallop, for the most was bottled Bass, An' we'd dreamed of it since we was disembarked: So we fired economic with the shells we 'ad in 'and, ('Orse Gunners, listen to my song!) But the beggars under cover 'ad the impidence to stand, An' we couldn't keep 'em waitin' very long. And the Captain, etc. So we finished 'arf the liquor (an' the Captain took champagne), An' the Arabites was shootin' all the while; An' we left our wounded 'appy with the empties on the plain, An' we used the bloomin' guns for pro-jec-tile! We limbered up an' galloped-there were nothin' else to do ('Orse Gunners, listen to my song!) An' the Battery came a-boundin' like a boundin' kangaroo, But they didn't watch us comin' very long. As the Captain, etc. We was goin' most extended-we was drivin' very fine, An' the Arabites were loosin' 'igh an' wide, Till the Captain took the glassy with a rattlin' right incline, An' we dropped upon their 'eads the other side. Then we give 'em quarter-such as 'adn't up and cut, ('Orse Gunners, listen to my song!) An' the Captain stood a limberful of fizzy-somethin' Brutt, But we didn't leave it fizzing very long. For the Captain, etc. We might ha' been court-martialled, but it all come out all right When they signalled us to join the main command. There was every round expended, there was every gunner tight, An' the Captain waved a corkscrew in 'is 'and. THE 'EATHEN THE 'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood an' stone; 'E don't obey no orders unless they is 'is own; 'E keeps 'is side-arms awful: 'e leaves 'em all about, An' then comes up the regiment an' pokes the 'eathen out. All along o' dirtiness, all along o' mess, The young recruit is 'aughty-'e draf's from Gawd knows where; They bid 'im show 'is stockin's an' lay 'is mattress square; 'E calls it bloomin' nonsense-'e doesn't know no An' then up comes 'is Company an' kicks 'im round the floor! 1 Not now. 2 To-morrow. 3 Wait a bit. The young recruit is 'ammered-'e takes it very 'ard; 'E 'angs 'is 'ead an' mutters-'e sulks about the yard; 'E talks o' "cruel tyrants" 'e'll swing for by-an'-by, An' the others 'ears an' mocks 'im, an' the boy goes orf to cry. The young recruit is silly-'e thinks o' suicide; Gettin' clear o' dirtiness, gettin' done with mess, The young recruit is 'appy-'e throws a chest to suit; You see 'im grow mustaches; you 'ear 'im slap 'is boot; 'E learns to drop the "bloodies" from every word 'e slings, An' 'e shows an 'ealthy brisket when 'e strips for bars an' rings. The cruel-tyrant-sergeants they watch 'im 'arf a year; They watch 'im with 'is comrades, they watch 'im with 'is beer; They watch 'im with the women at the regimental dance, And the cruel-tyrant-sergeants send 'is name along for "Lance." An' now 'e's 'arf o' nothin', an' all a private yet, 'Is room they up an' rags 'im to see what they will get; They rags 'im low an' cunnin', each dirty trick they can, But 'e learns to sweat 'is temper an' 'e learns to sweat 'is man. An', last, a Colour-Sergeant, as such to be obeyed, 'E schools 'is men at cricket, 'e tells 'em on parade; They sees 'em quick an' 'andy, uncommon set an' smart, An' so 'e talks to orficers which 'ave the Core at 'eart. 'E learns to do 'is watchin' without it showin' plain; 'E learns to save a dummy, an' shove 'im straight again; 'E learns to check a ranker that's buyin' leave to shirk; An' 'e learns to make men like 'im so they'll learn to like their work. An' when it comes to marchin' he'll see their socks are right, An' when it comes to action 'e shows 'em 'ow to sight; 'E knows their ways of thinkin' and just what's in their mind; 'E knows when they are takin' on an' when they've fell be'ind. |