REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE NOT TO BE FOUND IN ANY OF THE BOOKS. BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose, So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear, And your Lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind. Then, holding the spectacles up to the court- As wide as the ridge of the nose is; in short, Again, would your lordship a moment suppose On the whole it appears, and my argument shows With a reasoning, the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, And the Nose was as plainly intended for them. Then shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows how), For the court did not think they were equally wise. By daylight or candlelight-Eyes should be shut! THE JUDGMENT OF THE POETS. 1791. Two nymphs, both nearly of an age, The worth of each had been complete, But one, although her smile was sweet, And in her humour, when she frown'd, The other was of gentler cast, From all such frenzy clear, Her frowns were seldom known to last, And never proved severe. To poets of renown in song The nymphs referr'd the cause, They gentle call'd, and kind and soft, The flippant and the scold, And though she changed her mood so oft, No judges, sure, were e'er so mad, In short, the charms her sister had Then thus the god whom fondly they Was heard, one genial summer's day, 'Since thus ye have combined,' he said, My favourite nymph to slight, With June's undoubted right, 'The Minx shall, for your folly's sake, Shall make your scribbling fingers ake, ON A MISCHIEVOUS BULL, WHICH THE OWNER OF HIM SOLD AT THE AUTHOR'S INSTANCE. Go-Thou art all unfit to share The pleasures of this place The squirrel here his hoard provides, And wood-peckers explore the sides, The sheep here smoothes the knotted thorn Ah-I could pity thee exiled But thou canst taste no calm delight; Thy magnanimity in fight, I care not whether east or north, |