« AnteriorContinuar »
out of the field. All my comfort is, you are Wilt's Coffee house, June 17. more troublesome to my colonel than myself : The suspension of the play-house has made 1 permit you to visit me only now and theu ; me have nothing to setid you from bence; but but he downright keeps you. I laugh at his calling here this evening, I found the party Ihonour, as far as bis gravity will allow me; usually sit with, upon the business of writing, but I know him to be a man of too much merit and examining what was the handsomest style to succeed with a woman. Therefore defend in wbieb to address women, and write letters your beart as well as you can : J shall come home of gallantry. Many were the opinions which this winter irresistibly dressed, and with quite were immediately declared on this subject. a new foreign air. And so I had like to say, I Some were for a certain softness ; some for I rest, but, alas! I remain, madam, your most know not what delicacy; others for something obedient, most humble servant, inexpressibly tender. When it came to me, I said there was no rule in the world to be
Now for colonel Constant's epistle ; you see made for writing letters, but that of being as
it is folded and directed with the utmost care. near what you speak face to face as you can; which is so great a truth, that I am of opinion,
MADAM writing has lost more mistresses than any one 'I do myself the honour to write to you this mistake in the whole legend of love ; for, evening, because I believe to-morrow will be wben you write to a lady for whom you have the day of battle; and something forebodes in a solid and honourable passion, the great idea my breast that I shall fall in it. If it proves you have of her, joined to a quick sense of her so, I hope you will hear I have done notbing ahsence, fills your mind with a sort of tender below a man who had the love of his country, ness, that gives your language too much the quickened by a passion for a woman of honour. air of complaint, which is seldom successful. If there be any thing noble in going to a certain For a man may flatter himself as he pleases; death; if there be any merit, that I meet it but he will find that the women have more with pleasure, hy promising myself a place in understanding in their own affairs than we your esteem; if your applause, when I am no have, and women of spirit are not to be won by more, is preferable to the most glorious life
He that can keep handsomely without you: 1 say, madam, if any of these within rules, and support the carriage of a considerations can have weight with you, you companion to his mistress, is much more will give me a kind place in your memory, likely to prevail, than he who lets her see the which I prefer to the glory of Cæsar. I hope whole relish of bis life depends upon her. If this will be read, as it is writ, with tears.' possible, therefore, divert your mistress rather than sigh for her. The pleasant man she will
The beloved lady is a woman of a sensible desire for her own sake, but the languishing mind; but she has confessed to me, that after lover has nothing to hope from, but her pity. all her true and solid value for Constant, she To show the difference, I produced two letters a
had much more concern for the loss of Care. Jady gave me, which had been writ by two
Those noble and serious spirits have gentlemen who pretended to her, but were both something equal to the adversities they meet killed the next day after the date, at the battle with, and consequently lessen the objects of of Almanza. One of them was a mercurial pity. . Great accidents seem not cut out so gay-bumoured man; the other a man of a se
much for men of familiar characters, which rious, but a great and gallant spirit.
Poor makes them more easily pitied, and soon after Jack Careless! this is bis letter : you see how beloved. Add to this, that the sort of love it is folded : the air of it is so 'negligent, one
which generally succeeds, is a stranger to awe might have read half of it by peeping into it, and distance. I asked Romana, whether of the without breaking it open. He had no exact
two she should have chosen, had they survived ? ness.
She said, she knew she ought to have taken
Constant: but believed she should have chosen • MADAM,
Careless. It is a very pleasant circumstance I am in, that wbile I should be thinking of the good
St. James's Coffee house, June 17. company we are to meet within a day or two, Letters from Lisbon of the ninth instant, N. where we shall go to loggerheads, my thoughts S. say, that the enemy's army, having blocked are running upon a fair enemy in England. I up Olivenza, was posted on the Guadiana. was in hopes I had left you there, but you | The Portugueze are very apprehensive that the follow the camp, though I have endeavoured to garrison of that place, though it consists of five make some of our leaguer ladies * drive you of the best regiments of their army, will be
obliged to surrender, if not timely relieved, held a council of war on the fourth instant, the trial upon the duel. Further he argued, wherein it was concluded to advance towards under favour of the court, that when the issue Badajos. With this design the army decamped is joined by the duel, in treason or other capital on the fifth from Jerumena, and marched to crimes, the parties accused and accuser must Cancaon. It is hoped, that if the enemy fol. fight in their own proper persons: but if the low their motions, they may have opportunity dispute be for lands, you may hire a champion to put a sufficient quantity of provision and at Hockleo in the Hole, or any where else. ammunition into Olivenza.
they not being supplied with provisions fue • Women who accompany the army.
more than six weeks. Hereupon their general
This part of the law we bad from the Saxons ; Mr. Bickerstaff gives notice to all persons and they had it, as also the trial by ordeal, that dress themselves as they please, without from the Laplanders. It is indeed agreed, said regard to decorum (as with blue and red stock-he, the southern and eastern nations never jogs in mourning, tucked cravats, and night-knew any thing of it; for though the ancient cap wigs, before people of the first quality,) Romans would scold and call names filtbily, that he has yet received no fine for indulging yet there is not an example of a challenge that them in that liberty, and that he expects their ever passed among them. compliance with this demand, or that they go His quoting the eastern nations put another home inmediately and shift themselves. This gentleman in mind of an account he had from is further to acquaint the town, that the report a boatswain of an East-Indiaman; which was, of the busiers, toymen, and milliners, having that a Chinese bad tricked and bubbled him, compounded with Mr. Bickerstaff for tolerating and that when he came to demand satisfaction such enormities, is utterly false and scandalous.' | the next morning, and like a true tar of honour
called him a son of a whore, liar, dog, and
other rough appellatives used by persons conNo. 31.] Tuesduy, June 21, 1709.
versant with winds and waves ; the Chinese, Quicqnid agunt homines
with great tranquillity, desired him ' not to - nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. 1. 85, 86. come abroad fasting, nor put himself into a Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
beat, for it would prejudice bis health.' Thus Onr molley paper seizes for its theme.
P. the east knows nothing of this gallantry.
There sat at the left of the table a person of Grecian Coffee-house, June 18.
a venerable aspect, who asserted, that' balf In my dissertation against the custom of the impositions which are put upon these ages single combat, it has been objected, that there have been transmitted by writers who have js not learning, or much reading, showu therein, given too great pomp and magnificence to the which is the very life and soul of all treatises ; exploits of the ancient bear-garden, and made for wbich reason, being always easy to receive their gladiators, by fabulous tradition, greater admonitions and reform my errors, I thought than Gorman* and others of Great Britain.' fit to consult this learned board on the subject. He informed the company, that he had Upon proposing some doubts, and desiring their searched authorities for what he said, and that assistance, a very hopeful young gentleman, a learned autiquary, Humpbrey Scarecrow, es. my relation, who is to be called to the bar within quire, of Hockley in the Hole, recorder to the a year and a balf at farthest, told me, that be bear-garden, was then writing a discourse on bad ever since I first mentioned duelling turned the subject. It appears by the best accounts,' his bead that way; and that he was principally says this gentleman, 'that the high names moved thereto, because he designed to follow which are used among us with so great venethe circuits in the north of England and south ration, were no other than stage-fighters, and of Scotland, and to reside mostly at bis own wortbies of the ancient bear-garden. The reestate at Landbadernawz* in Cardiganshire. nowned Hercules always carried a quarterstaff, The northern Britons and the southern Scots and was from thence called Claviger.t A learned are a warm people, and the Welsh ‘ a nation chronologist is about proving what wood this of gentlemen ;' so that it beloved him to uu
staff was made of, whether oak, ash, or crabderstand well the science of quarreling. The tree. The first trial of skill be ever performed young gentleman proceeded admirably well, was with one Cacus, a deer-stealer, the next and gave the board an account that he had
was with Typhonus, a giant of forty feet four read - Fitzherbert's + Grand Abridgment,' and inches. Indeed it was unhappily recorded that had found that duelling is a very ancient part meeting at last with a sailor's wife, she made of the law; for when a man is sued, be it for his staff of prowess serve her own use, and his life or bis land, the person that juins the dwindle away to a distaff: she clapped him issue, whether plaintiff or defendant, may put on an old tar jacket of her husband; so that
• There is no such place. It is probable Llanbadern Vawr m Cardiganshire is intended.
+ A book published under this title in 1516 by Anthony Fitzherbert, one of the judiges in the reign of Henry VIII. This author died in 1538.
Gormon is mentioned in the epilogue to Lansdowne's * Jew of Venice,' and is there explained to have becu a prize-fighter.
this great hero drooped like a scabbed sheep. | my own, and, therefore, the kind reception Him bis contemporary Theseus succeeded in I have met with, is not so deserved as it ought the bear-garden, which honour be held for to be. But I hope, though it be never so true many years. This grand duellist went to hell, that I am obliged to my friends for laying their and was the only one of that sort that ever cash in my bands, since I give it them again came back again. As for Achilles and Hector when they please, and leave them at their li(as the ballads of those times mention,) they berty to call it home, it will not hurt me with were pretty smart fellows; they fought at sword my gentle readers. Ask all the merchants and buckler; but the former bad much the who act upon consignments, where is the nebetter of it; his mother, who was an oyster. cessity (if they answer readily what their corwoman, having got a blacksmith of Lemnos respondents draw) of their being wealthy themto make her son's weapons. There is a pair selves ? Ask the greatest bankers, if all the of trusty Trojans in a song of Virgil that were men they deal with were to draw at once, ybat famous for handling their gauntlets, Dares and would be the consequence? But indeed a counEntellus; and indeed it does appear, they try friend has writ me a letter which gives me fought no sbam-prize.'
great mortification ; wherein I find I ain so The Roman bear-garden was abundantly far from expecting a supply from thence, that more magnificent than any thing Greece could some have not heard of me, and the rest do boast of: it flourished most under those de- uot understand me: bis epistle is as follows. lights of mankind, Nero and Domitian. At one time it is recorded, four hundred senators
• DEAR COUSIN, entered the list, and thought it an honour to
'I thought, when I left the town, to have be cudgelled and quarterstaffed. I observe the raised your fame bere, and helped you to supLanistæ were the people chiefly employed, port it by intelligence from hence; but, alas ! which makes me imagine our bear-garden co- they had never heard of the Tatler until I pied much after this, the butchers being the brought down a set. I lent them from house greatest men in it.
to house, but they asked me what they meant. Thus far the glory and honour of the bear. I began to enlighten them, by telling who and garden stood secure, until fate, that irresistible who were supposed to be intended by the charuler of sublunary things, in that universal ruin racters drawn, I said, for instance, Chloe and of arts, and politer learning, by those savage Clarissa are two eminent toasts. A gentleman, people the Goths and Vandals, destroyed and who keeps his greyhound and gun, and one levelled it to the ground. Then fell the gran- would think might know better, told me, he deur and bravery of the Roman state, until at supposed they were Papishes, for their names last the warlike genius (but accompanied with
were not English. Then,' said he, 'why do more courtesy) revived in the Christian world you call live people toasts ?' I answered, 'That under those puissant champions, Saint George, was a new name found out by the wits, to make Saint Dennis, and other dignified heroes: one
a lady have the same effect, as burridge in the killed bis dragon, another his lion, and were glass when a man is drinking.
But says I, all afterwards canonized for it, having red let- Sir, 1 perceive this is to you all bamboozling; ters before them to illustrate their martial why, you look as if you were Don Diego'd to temper. The Spanish nation, it must be owned, the tune of a thousand pounds. All this good were devoted to gallantry and chivalry above language was lost upon him : he only stared, the rest of the world. What a great figure though he is as good a scholar as any layman dues that great dame, Don Quixote, make in in the town, except the barber. Thus, cousin, history! How shines this glorious star in the you must be content with London for the cenwestern world ! O renowned hero! O mirror tre of your wealth and fame; we have no relish of knighthood !
for you. Wit must describe its proper circum'Thy brandish'd whinyard all the world defies
ference, and not go beyond it, lest, like little And kils as sure as del Tobosa's eyes.
boys wben they straggle out of their own I am forced to break off abruptly, being parish, it may wander to places where it is not sent for in haste with my rule, to measure the known, and be lost. Since it is so, you must degree of an affront, before the two gentlemen silent, and only lay up what excellent things
excuse me, that I am forced at a visit to sit (who are now in their breeches and ready to engage behind Montague-house) have pass at such conversations. made a pass.
This evening I was with a couple of young
ladies ; one of them has the character of the From my own Apartment, June 18.
prettiest company, yet really I thought her It is an unreasonable objection, I find, less, 1 observed to have understanding. The
but silly; the other, who talked a great deal against my labours, that my stock is not all lady, who is reckoned such a companion among
her acquaintance, has only, with a very brisk • An allasjon to the rubricks in the Roman misrals. air, a knack of saying the commonest things ;
the other, with a sly serious one, says home sir,'--and other terms of provocation, taken things enough. The first, mistress Giddy, is up at the door of Young man's Coffee-house, very quick ; but the second, mistress Slim, fell shall receive satisfaction from Mr. Morphew, into Giddy's own style, and was as good com- besides a set of arguments to be spoken to any pany as she. Giddy happens to drop her glove; man in a passion, which, if the said enraged Slim reaches it to her. Madam,' says Giddy, man listens to, will prevent quarrelling. ' I hope you will have a better office. Upon
Mr Bickerstaff does hereby give nuwhich Slim immediately repartees, and sits in tice that he has taken the two famous Univerher lap, and cries, “ Are you not sorry for my sities of this land under his immediate care, heaviness?' The sly wench pleased me, to see and does hereby promise all tutors and pupils, how she hit her height of understanding so that he will hear what can be said of each side well. We sat down to dinner. Says Giddy, between them, and to correct them imparmighty prettily, 'Two hands in a dish, and tially, by placing them in orders and classes one in a purse.” Says Slim, ' Ay, madam, the in the learned world, according to their merit.' more the merrier ; but the fewer the better
Mr. Bickerstaff has received the advices cheer.' I quickly took the hint, and was as from Clay-hill, which, with all intelligence witty and talkative as they. Says I,
from honest Mr. Sturdy and others, shall have TIe that will not when he may,
their place in our future story. When he will, he shall have vay. and so helped myself. Giddy turns about ;
No. 32.] What, have you found your tongue?' 'Yes,'
Thursday June 23, 1709. says I, “it is manners to speak when I am spo- Quicquid agunt hominesken to; but your greatest talkers are the least
Dostri est tarrago libelli. Juv. Sat, i. 85, 86. doers, and the still sow eats up all the broth.'
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, 'Ha! ha!' says Giddy, 'one would think he had
Our motley paper seizes for its theme. nothing in him, and do you hear how he talks, White's Chocolate-house, June 22. when he pleases!' I grew immediately roguish
An answer to the followiog letter being aband pleasant to a degree, in the same strain. solutely necessary to be despatched with all exSlim, who knew how good company we had pedition, I must trespass upon all that come been, cries, 'You will certainly print this bright with horary questions into my antichamber, to conversation.'
give the gentleman my opinion. It is so; and 'hereby you may see how small an appearance the prettiest things said in com- To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esquire.' pauy make, when in print.
June 18, 1709.
'I know not whether you ought to pity or St. James's Coffee-house, June 20.
laugh at me; for I am fallen desperately in A mail from Lisbou has brought advices, of love with a professed Platonne, the most un. June the twelfih, from the king of Portugal's accountable creature of her sex. To hear her army encamped at Torre Allegada, which in- talk seraphics, and run over Norris, and More, forms us, that the general of the army called and Milton, and the whole set of intellectual a court-martial on the fourth at the camp of triflers, torments me heartily; for, to a lover Jerumena, where it was resolved to march with who understands metaphors, all this pretty a design to attempt the succour of Olivenza. prattle of ideas gives very fine views of pleasure, Accordingly the army moved on the fifth, which only the dear declaimer prevents, by and marched towards Badajos. Upon their understanding them literally: why should she approach, the marquis de Bay detached so great wish to be a cherubiin, when it is fiesh and a party from the blockade of Olivenza, that blood that makes her adorable? If I speak to the marquis das Minas, at the head of a large her, that is a high breach of the idea of intui. detachment, covered a great convoy of provi- tion. If I offer at her hand or lip, she shrinks sions towards Olivenza, which threw in their from the touch like a sensitive plant, and would stores, and marched back to their army, with-) contract herself into mere spirit. She calls out molestation from the Spaniards. They ber chariot, vehicle; her furbelowed scarf, add, that each army must necessarily marcb pinions; her blue mantua and petticoat is into quarters within twenty days.
her azure dress; and her foutman goes by the Whosoever can discover a surgeon's appren- name of Oberon. It is my misfortune to be tice who fell upon Mr. Bickerstaff's messenger six feet and a half bigh, two full spans between or (as the printers call bim) Devil, going to the shoulders, thirteen inches diameter in the the press, and tore out of his band part of his calves; and, before I was in love, I bad a noble essay against duels, in the fragments of which stomach, and usually went to bexi sober with were the words ' you lie,' and 'man of honour,' two bottles. I am not quite six-and-twenty, taken up at the Temple-gate, and the words, and iny nose is marked truly aquiline. For
perhaps,'— may be noi,'—' by your leave, these reasons, I am in a very particular manner
ber aversion. What shall I do? Impudence into foreign parts, where some of us bave alitself cannot reclaim her. If I write miserably, ready been.' Here he bows in the most bumshe reckons me among the children of perdi- ble manner, and kissed the girl, who knew not tion, and discards me her region : if I assume how to bebave to such a sort of carriage. He tbe gross and substantial, she plays the real goes on : ‘Now, you must know, we have an ghost with me, and vanishes in a moment. 1 ambition to have it to say, tbat we have a probad bopes in the hypocrisy of her sex ; but testant nunnery in England: but pray Mrs. perseverance makes it as bad as fixed aversion. Betty'-'Sir,' she replied, 'my name is Susan, I desire your opinion, whether I may not law- at your service.' Then I heartily beg your fully play the inquisition upon her, make use pardon'—' No offence in the least,' said she, of a little force, and put her to the rack and for I have a cousin-german, whose name is the torture, only to convince her, she has really Betty.' 'Indeed,' said he 'I protest to you, fine limbs, without spoiling or distorting them. that was more than I knew ; I spoke at ranI expect your directions, before I proceed to dom : but since it bappens that I was near in dwindle and fall away with despair ; wbich at the right, give me leave to present tbis genpresent I do not think adviseable, because, if tleman to the favour of a civil salute. His sbe should recant, she may then hate me per. friend advances, and so on, until they had all haps, in the other extreme, for my tenuity. saluted her. By this means the poor girl was I am (with impatience) your most humble in the middle of the crowd of these fellows, at servant,
a loss what to do, without courage to pass through them; and the Platonics, at several
peep-holes, pale, trembling, and fretting. Rake My patient has put his case with very much perceived they were observed, and therefore warmth, and represented it in so lively a man
took care to keep Sukey in chat with questions ner, that I see both his torment and tormentor concerning their way of life; when appeared with great perspicuity. This order of Platonic at last Madonella, a lady who had writ a ladies are to be dealt with in a manper peculiar fine books concerning the recluse life, and was from all the rest of the sex. Flattery is the the projectrix of the foundation, general way, and the way in this case; but it proaches into the hall; and Rake, knowing the is not to be donje grossly. Every man that has dignity of his own mien and aspect, goes de. wit, and humour, and raillery, can make a puty from bis company. She begins, “Sir, I good flatterer for women in general: but a
am obliged to follow the servant, who was sent Platoupe is not to be touched with panegyric: out to know what affair could make strangers she will tell you, it is a sensuality in the soul press upon a solitude which wę, who are to in. to be delighted that way. You are not there habit this place, have devoted to heaven and fore to commend, but silently consent to all our own thoughts?' 'Madam,' replies Rake, she does and says. You are to consider, in her with an air of great distance, mixed with a certhe scorn of you is not humour, but opinion.
tain indifference, by which he could dissemble There were, some years since, a set of these dissimulation, your great intention bas made ladies who were of quality, and gave out, that more noise in the world than you design it virginity was to be their state of life during should; and we travellers, who bave seen many This mortal condition, and therefore resolved foreign institutions of this kind, have a curioto join their fortunes, and erect a nunnery. sity to see, in its first rudiments, the seat of The place of residence was pitched upon; and a primitive piety; for such it must be called by pretty situation, full of natural falls and risings future ages, to the eternal honour of the founof waters, with shady coverts, and flowery ar- ders : I have read Madonella's excellent and bours, was approved by seven of the founders. seraphic discourse on this subject.' The lady There were as many of our sex who took the immediately answered, 'If what I have said liberty to visit their mansions of intended se could bave contributed to raise any thoughts verity; among others, * a famous rake of that in you that may make for the advancement of time, wbo bad the grave way to an excellence. intellectual and divine conversation, I should He came in first ; but, upon seeing a servant think myself extremely happy.' He immedicoming towards him, with a design to tell him ately fell back with the profoundest veneration ; this was no place for him or bis companions, then advancing, ' Are you then that admired up goes my grave impudence to the maid; 'Young woman,' said he, ‘ if any of the ladies are in the way on this side of the house, pray * The person here represented, or rather grossly misrecarry us on the other side towards the gardens : presenteil, under the name of Madonella, a dimulive from
Madona, which signifies the Virgin Mary, was Mrs. Mary we are, you must know, gentlemen that are
Astell, a lady of superior anderstanding, of considerable iravelling England; after which we shall go learning, and singular piety. She was the daughter of a
mercbant in Newcastle - upon Tyne, where she was born
about 1668, and lived abont twenty years. The remainder * It is said, that Mr. Repington, a Warwickshire wag, was of her inoffensive, irreproachable, and exemplary life the the famous rake bere alla led to.
spent at Londou and Chelsea, where she died in 1731,