Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for

dinner.

Dro. S. O, for my beads! I cross

sinner.

me for a

This is the fairy land;-O, spite of spites!-
We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites;
If we obey them not, this will ensue,

They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st not?

Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot! Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am not I? Ant. S. I think, thou art, in mind, and so am I. Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind, and in my shape.

Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.

Dro. S.
No, I am an ape.
Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass.
Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for

grass.

'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be,
But I should know her as well as she knows me.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep,

Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn.-
Come, sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate:-
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks:
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,

Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.-
Come, sister:-Dromio, play the porter well.

Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking? mad, or well advis'd?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd!

6 And shrive you-] That is, I will call you to confession, and make you tell your tricks.

I'll say as they say, and perséver so,

And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.

Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I. The same.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.

Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;

My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours:
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carkanet,7
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in
gold;

And that I did deny my wife and house:—

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by

this?

Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know:

That

you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show:

carkanet,] Seems to have been a necklace, or rather

chain, perhaps hanging down double from the neck.

If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,

Your own handwriting would tell you what I

think.

Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.

Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.

I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that

pass,

You would keep from my heels, and beware of an

ass.

Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'Pray God, our cheer

May answer my good will, and your good welcome

here.

Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or

fish,

A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty

dish.

Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.

Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast.

Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest:

But though my cates be mean, take them in good

part;

Better cheer may you have, but not with better

heart.

But, soft; my door is lock'd; Go bid them let us

in.

Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian,

Jen'!

8

Dro. S. [Within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!9

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch:

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store,

When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the

door.

Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door.

Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefóre.

Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not din'd to-day.

Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe?1

Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name;

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.

Mome,] A dull stupid blockhead, a stock, a post. This owes its original to the French word Momon, which signifies the gaming at dice in masquerade, the custom and rule of which is, that a strict silence is to be observed: whatever sum one stakes, another covers, but not a word is to be spoken. From hence also comes our word mum! for silence. HAWKINS.

9

patch!] i. e. fool. Alluding to the parti-coloured coats worn by the licensed fools or jesters of the age.

If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.

Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the gate?

Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.

Luce.

Faith no; he comes too late;

And so tell your master.
Dro. E.
O Lord, I must laugh:-
Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in my staff?
Luce. Have at you with another: that's,—When?
can you tell?

Dro. S. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope?

Luce. I thought to have ask'd

Dro. S.

you.

And you said, no. Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was

blow for blow.

Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.

Luce.

Can you tell for whose sake?

Let him knock till it ake.

Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.

Luce.
Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the

door down.

Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?

Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise?

Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before.

Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door.