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ONE threw an orange in the air,
And caught it on his sword;
Another crunched the yellow peel,
With his red heel on the board;

A third man cried, "When Jackson comes
Into his large estate,

I'll pave the old hall down in Kent,
With golden bits of eight."

One turning with a meaning wink,
Fast double-locked the door,

Then held a letter to the fire-
It was all blank before,

But now it's ruled with crimson lines,
And cyphers odd and quaint;
They cluster round, and nod, and laugh,
As one invokes a saint,

He pulls a black wig from his head;
He's shaven like a priest;

He holds his finger to his nose,

And smiles, "The wind blows cast,
The Dutch canals are frozen, sirs;
I don't say anything,

But when you play at ombre next,
Mind that I lead a king."

"Last night at Kensington I spent,
"Twas gay as any fair;

Oh, how they stared to find that bill
Stuck on the royal chair.

Some fools cried Treason!'-some 'A plot!'
I slipped behind a screen,

And when the guards came fussing in,

Sat chatting with the Queen."

"I," cried a third, "was printing songs,

In a garret in St. Giles',

When I heard the watchman at the door,

And flew up on the tiles.

The press was lowered into the vault,
The types into a drain:

I think you'll own, my trusty sirs,

I have a ready brain."

A frightened whisper at the door,
A bell rings-then a shot:
"Shift, boys, the Orangers are come;
Pity! the punch is hot."

A clash of swords-a shout-a scream,
And all abreast in force;

The Jacobites, some twenty strong,
Break through and take to horse.

QUEEN MAB.

[WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. See Page 33.]

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OH, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you.

She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes

In shape no bigger than an agate-stone

Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film;
Her wagoner, a small grey-coated gnat,
Not half so big as a round little worm,
Pricked from the lazy finger of a maid;
Her chariot is an empty hazel-nut,
Made by the joiner squirrel, or old grub,

On the forefinger of an alder. Time out of mind the fairies' coach-makers;

man,

And in this state she gallops night by night,

Drawn with a team of little Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love; On courtiers' knees, that dream on courtsies straight;

atomies,

Athwart men's noses as they

lie asleep:

spinners' legs;

O'er lawyers' fingers, who straight dream on fees; Her wagon-spokes made of long O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream, Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues, Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are. Sometimes she gallops o'er a courtier's nose, The traces, of the smallest spider's And then dreams he of smelling out a suit: web; And sometimes comes she with a tithe-pig's tail,

The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers;

The collars, of the moonshine's wat'ry Tickling a parson's nose as a' lies asleep,
Then dreams he of another benefice!

beams;

By kind permission of the Author.

THE TROUBLES OF A YOUNG THIEF.

Sometimes she driveth o'er a soldier's neck,
And then he dreams of cutting foreign throats,
Of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,
Of healths five fathom deep; and then anon
Drums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes;

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And, being thus frighted, swears a prayer or two,
And sleeps again. This is that very Mab
That plaits the manes of horses in the night;
And bakes the elf-locks in foul sluttish hairs,
Which once untangled, much misfortune bodes.

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THE TROUBLES OF
[DANIEL DEFOE,

I HAVE often thought since, and with some mirth too, how I once had really more wealth than I knew what to do with; namely, my share of the plunder; for lodging I had none, nor any box or drawer to hide my money in, nor had I any pocket, but such as was full of holes; I knew nobody in the world that I could go and desire them to lay it up for me; for being a poor, naked, ragged boy, they would presently say I had robbed somebody, and perhaps lay hold of me, and my money would be my crime, as they say it often is in foreign countries; and now, as I was full of wealth, behold I was full of care, for what to do to secure my money I could not tell; and this held me so long, and was so vexatious to me the next day, that I truly sat down and cried.

A YOUNG THIEF.
See Page 111.]

before that, could have slept upon a heap of brickbats, stones, or cinders, or anywhere, as sound as a rich man does on his down bed, and sounder too.

Every now and then dropping asleep, I should dream that my money was lost, and start like one frightened; then, finding it fast in my hand, try to go to sleep again, but could not for a long while; then drop and start again. At last a fancy came into my head, that if I fell asleep, I should dream of the money, and talk of it in my sleep, and tell that I had money; which, if I should do, and one of the rogues should hear me, they would pick it out of my bosom, and of my hand too, without waking me; and after that thought I could not sleep a wink more; so I passed that night over in care and anxiety enough, and this was the first night's rest that I lost by the cares of this life and the deceitfulness of riches.

Nothing could be more perplexing than this money was to me all that night. I carried it in my hand a good while, for it was in gold all but fourteen shillings; and that is to say, it was four guineas, and that fourteen shillings was more difficult to carry than the four guineas. At last I sat down and pulled off one of my shoes, and put the four guineas into that; but after I had gone awhile, my shoe hurt me so I could not go, so I was fain to sit down again, and take it out of my shoe, and carry it in my hand; then I found a dirty linen rag in the street, and II said just now, I sat down and cried heartily. took that up, and wrapt it all together, and carried it in that a good way. I have often since heard people say, when they have been talking of money that they could not get in, I wish I had it in a foul clout: in truth, I had mine in a foul clout; for it was foul, according to the letter of that saying, but it served me till I came to a convenient place, and then I sat down and washed the cloth in the kennel, and so then put my money in again.

As soon as it was day, I got out of the hole we lay in, and rambled abroad in the fields towards Stepney, and there I mused and considered what I should do with this money, and many a time I wished that I had not had it; for, after all my ruminating upon it, and what course I should take with it, or where I should put it, I could not hit upon any one thing, or any possible method to secure it; and it perplexed me so, that at last, as

Well, I carried it home with me to my lodging in the glass-house, and when I went to go to sleep, I knew not what to do with it. If I had let any of the black crew I was with know of it, I should have been smothered in the ashes for it, or robbed of it, or some trick or other put upon me for it; so I knew not what to do, but lay with it in my hand, and my hand in my bosom; but then sleep went from my eyes. Oh, the weight of human care! I, a poor beggar boy, could not sleep, so soon as I had but a little money to keep, who,

When my crying was over, the case was the same; I had the money still, and what to do with it I could not tell. At last it came into my head that I should look out for some hole in a tree, and seek to hide it there, till I should have occasion for it. Big with this discovery, as I then thought it, I began to look about me for a tree. But there were no trees in the fields about Stepney or Mile End that looked fit for my purpose; and if there were any, that I began to look narrowly at, the fields were so full of people, that they would see if I went to hide anything there.

This drove me farther off, and I crossed the road at Mile End, and away to the "Blind Beggar's" at Bethnal Green. When I got a little way in the lane, I found a footpath over the fields, and in those fields several trees for my turn, as I thought. At last, one tree had a little hole in it, pretty high out of my reach, and I climbed up the tree to get it, and when I came there, I put my

hand in, and found, as I thought, a place very fit; so I placed my treasure there, and was mighty well satisfied with it; but behold, putting my hand in again, to lay it more commodiously, as I thought, of a sudden it slipped away from me, and I found the tree was hollow, and my little parcel was fallen in out of my reach, and how far it might go in I knew not; so that, in a word, my

(Drawn by J. OAKES.)

money was quite gone, irrecoverably lost; there could be no room so much as to hope ever to see it again, for 'twas a vast great tree.

As young as I was, I was now sensible what a fool I was before, that I could not think of ways to keep my money, but I must come thus far to throw it into a hole where I could not reach it. Well, I thrust my hand quite up to my elbow; but no bottom was to be found, nor any end of the hole or cavity. I got a stick of the tree, and thrust it in a great way; but all was one. Then I cried, nay, roared out, I was in such a passion.

Then I got down the tree again, then up again, and thrust in my hand again, till I scratched my arm and made it bleed, and cried all the while most violently. Then I began to think I had not so much as a halfpenny of it left for a halfpenny roll, and I was hungry, and then I cried again. Then I came away in despair, crying and roaring like a little boy that had been whipped. Then I went back again to

the tree, and up the tres again; and thus I did several times.

The last time I had gotten up the tree, I happened to come down, not on the same side that I went up and came down before, but on the other side of the tree, and on the other side of the bank also; and behold, the tree had a great open place in the side of it close to the ground, as old hollow trees often have; and looking in the open place, to my inexpressible joy, there lay my money and my linen rag, all wrapped up, just as I had put it into the hole; for the tree being hollow all the way up, there had been some moss or light stuff, which I had not judgment enough to know was not firm, that had given way when it came to drop out of my hand, and so it had slipped quite down at once.

I was but a child, and I rejoiced like a child, for I hallooed quite out aloud when I saw it; I then ran to it and snatched it up, hugged and kissed the dirty rag a hundred times; then danced and iumped about, ran from one end of the field to the other, and, in short, I knew not what, much less do I know now what I did, though I shall never forget the thing; either what a sinking grief it was to my heart when I thought I had lost it, or what a flood of joy overwhelmed me when I had got it again.

While I was in the first transport of my joy, as I have said, I ran about, and knew not what I did; but when that was over, I sat down, opened the foul clout the money was in, looked at it, told it, found it was all there, and then I fell a-crying as violently as I did before, when I thought I had lost it.

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[CHARLES F. BROWNE, known to the world as "Artemus Ward," was born at Waterford, in Maine, in 1834. He began life as a printer, but his humorous genius speedily made itself known and admired. His lamented death, at the early age of three-and-thirty, took place on the 6th of March, 1867, at Southampton.]

I HAD a narrer scape from the sonny South. "The swings and arrers of outrajus fortin," alluded to by Hamlick, warn't nothin in comparison to my trubles. I come pesky near swearin sum profane oaths more'n onct, but I hope I didn't do it, for I've promist she whose name shall be nameless (except that her initials is Betsy J.) that I'll jine the Meetin House at Baldinsville, jest as soon as I can scrape money enuff together so I can 'ford to be piuss in good stile, like my welthy nabers. But if I'm confisticated agin I'm fraid I shall continner on in my present benited state for sum time.

I figgered conspicyusly in many thrillin scenes in my tower from Montgomry to my humsted, and on sevril occasions I thought "the grate komick paper" wouldn't be inriched no more with my lubrications. Arter biddin adoo to Jefferson D., I started for the depot. I saw a nigger sittin on a fence a-playin on a banjo. "My Afrikan Brother," sed I, coting from a track I onct red, "you belong to a very interesting race. Your masters is going to war excloosively on your account."

"Yes, boss," he replied, "an' I wish 'em honorable graves!" and he went on playin the banjo, larfin all over and openin his mouth wide 36-VOL. I.

enuff to drive in an old-fashioned two-wheeled chaise.

The train of cars in which I was to trust my wallerable life was the scaliest, rickytiest lookin lot of consarns that I ever saw on wheels afore. "What time does this string of second-hand coffins leave?" I inquired of the depot master. He sed direckly, and I went in and sot down. I hadn't more'n fairly squatted afore a dark-lookin man with a swinister expression onto his countenance entered the cars, and lookin very sharp at me, he axed what was my principles ?

"Secesh!" I ansered. "I'm a Dissoluter. I'm in favor of Jeff Davis, Bowregard, Pickens, Capt. Kidd, Bloobeard, Munro Edards, the devil, Mrs. Cunningham and all the rest of 'em."

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'You're in favor of the war?" "Certingly. By all means. I'm in favor of this war, and also of the next war. I've been in favor of the next war for over sixteen years!" "War to the knife!" sed the man. "Blud, Eargo, blud!" sed I, tho them words isn't origgernal with me. Them words was rit by Shakspeare, who is ded. His mantle fell onto the author of "The Seven Sisters," who's goin to hav a spring overcoat made out of it.

We got under way at larst, an' proceeded on our jerney at about the rate of speed which is ginrally obsarved by properly-conducted funeral processions. A hansum yung gal, with a red muskeeter bar on the back of her hed, and a sassy little black hat tipt over her forrerd, sot in the seat with She wore a little Sesesh flag pin'd onto her hat, and she was goin for to see her troo love, who had jined the Southern army, all so bold and gay. So she told me. She was chilly, and I offered her my blanket.

me.

"Father livin ?" I axed.

"Yes, sir."

"Got any uncles?"

"A heap. Uncle Thomas is ded, tho." "Peace to Uncle Thomas's ashes, and success to him! I will be your Uncle Thomas! Lean on me, my pretty Secesher, and linger in blissful repose!" She slept as secoorly as in her own housen, and didn't disturb the sollum stillness of the night with 'ary snore!

that he had no hard feelins agin me, put his nose into my mouth. I returned the compliment by placin my stummick suddenly agin his right foot. Actooated by a desire to see whether the Secesher had bin vaxinated, I then fastened my teeth onto his left coat-sleeve, and tore it to the shoulder. We then vilently bunted our heads together for a few minits, danced around a little, and sot down in a mud puddle. We riz to our feet agin, and by a sudden and adroit movement I placed my left eye agin the Secesher's fist. Wo then rushed into each other's arms, and fell under a two-hoss wagon. I was very much exhaustid, and didn't care about gittin up agin, but the man said he reckoned I'd better, and I conclooded I would. He pulled me up, but I hadn't bin on my feet more'n two seconds afore the ground flew up and hit me in the hed. The crowd sed it was high old sport, but I couldn't zackly see where the lafture com in. I riz, and we embraced agin. We careered madly to a steep bank, when I got the upper hands of my antaggernist, and threw him into the raveen. He fell about forty feet, striking a grindstone pretty hard. I understood he was injured. I haven't heard from the grind

At the first station a troop of sojers entered the cars, and inquired if "Old Wax Works" was on bored. That was the disrespectiv stile in which they referred to me. "Becawz if Old Wax Works is on bored," sez a man with a face like a double-stone. brested lobster, "we're going to hang Old Wax Works!"

"My illustrious and patriotic Bummers!" sez I, a-gittin up and takin orf my shappo, "if you allude to A. Ward, it's my pleasin dooty to inform you that he's ded. He saw the error of his ways at fifteen minits parst two yesterday, and stabbed hisself with a stuffed sled-stake, dying in five beautiful tabloos to slow music! His larst words was: 'My perfeshernal career is over! I jerk no more!'"

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"I'm a stoodent in Senater Benjamin's law offiss. I'm going up North to steal some spoons and things for the Southern army."

This was satisfactry, and the intossicated troopers went orf. At the next station the pretty little Secesher awoke, and sed she must git out there. I bid her a kind adoo, and giv her sum pervisions. "Accept my blessin and this hunk of gingerbread!" I sed. She thankt me muchly, and tript galy away. There's considerable human nater in a man, and I'm fraid I shall allers giv aid and comfort to the enemy if he cums to me in the shape of a nice young gal.

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A man in a cockt hat cum up, and sed he felt as though a apology was doo me. There was a mistake. The crowd had taken me for another man! I told him not to mention it, and axed him if his wife and little ones was so as to be about, and got on bored the train, which had stopped at that station "twenty minits for refreshments." I got all I wantid. It was the hartiest meal I ever et.

I was rid on a rale the next day, a bunch of blazin fire crackers bein tied to my coat tales. It was a fine spectycal in a dramatic pint of view, but I didn't enjoy it. I had other adventers of a startlin kind, but why continner? Why lasserate the public boozum with these here things? Suffysit to say I got across Mason and Dixie's line safe at last. I made tracks for my humsted, but she to whom I'm harnist for life failed to recognise, in the emashiated bein who stood before her, the gushin youth of forty-six summers who had left her only a few months afore. But I went into the pantry, and brought out a certin black bottle. Raisin it to my lips, I sed, "Here's to you, old gal!" I did it so natral that she knowed me at "Those form! Them voice! That natral stile of doin things! 'Tis he!" she cried, and rushed into my arms. It was too much for her, and she fell into a swoon. I cum very near swoundin myself.

once.

No more to day from yours for the Pepetration of the Union, and the bringin of the Goddess of Liberty out of her present bad fix.

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