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SCENE II.-A Street,

Per. It is no matter. By a woman cozened,

A real woman!
Enter Perez.

Caca. By a real devil.
Per: Had I but lungs enough to bawl suffi- Plague of her jewels, and her copper chains,

How rank they swell! That all the queans in Christendom might hear Per. Sweet, cozened sir, let's see them. me,

I have been cheated, too ; I would have you note
That men might run away from the contagion,
I had

my wish. Would it were made high treason, And lewdly cheated, by a woman also,
Most infinite high, for any man to marry; A scurvy woman. Í am undone, sweet sir;
I mean, for a man, that would live handsomely, Therefore, I must have leave to laugh.
And like a gentleman, in's wits and credit.

Caca. Pray ye, take it;
What torments shall I put her to?

You are the merriest undone man in Europe.
Cut her in pieces, every piece will live still, What need we fiddles, bawdy songs, and sherry
And every morsel of her will do mischief When our own miseries can make us merry ?
They have so many lives, there's no hanging of Per. Ha, ha, ha!

I've seen these jewels : what a notable penny-
They are too light to drown, they're cork and



had! You will not take, sir,
To burn too cold, they live like salamanders : Some twenty dacats
Under huge heaps of stones to bury her,

Caca. Thou’rt deceived; I will take-
And so depress her as they did the giants? Per. To clear your bargain, now.
She will move under more than built old Babel. Caca. I'll take some ten,
I must destroy her.

Some any thing, some half ten, half a ducat.

Per. An excellent lapidary set these stones,
Enter CACAFOGO, with a casket.

D'ye mark their waters?
Caca. Be cozened by a thing of clouts! a she Caca, Quicksands choak their waters,

And her's that brought them, too! but I shall
That every silkman's shop breeds! To be cheated, find her.
And of a thousand ducats, by a whim-wham! Per. And so shall I, I hope: but do not hurt
Per. Who is he, that's cheated ? Speak again,

thou vision !

If you had need of cozening, as you may have,
But art thou cheated ? Minister some comfort. (For such gross natures will desire it often;
Tell me, I conjure thee, art thou cheated brave- | 'Tis, at sometimes too, a fine variety)

You cannot find, in all this kingdom, Come, prithee come; art thou so pure a cox- A woman, that can cozen ye so neatly. comb,

She has taken half mine anger off with this trick. To be undone? Do not dissemble with me.

Erit. Caca. Then keep thy circle:

Caca. If I were valiant now, I'd kill this fel-
For I'm a spirit wild, that flies about thee;

And, whosoe'er thou art, if thou be'st human, I've money enough lies by me, at a pinch,
I'd let thee plainly know, I'm cheated damnably. To pay for twenty rascals' lives, that vex me.
Per. Ha, ha, ha!

I'll to this lady; there I shall be satisfied.
Cacu. Dost thou laugh? Damnably, I say,

[Erit, most damnably. Per. By whom, good spirit? Speak, speak! Ha,

SCENE III.-A street. ha, ha! Caca. I'll utter; laugh till thy lungs crack; by

Enter Perez and ESTIFANIA, meeting. a rascal woman!

Per. Why, how dar’st thou meet me again, A lewd, abominable, and plain woman!

thou rebel, Dost thou laugh still?

And know'st how thou hast used me thrice, thou Per. I must laugh; prithee pardon me,

rascal? I shall laugh terribly.

Were there not ways enough to fly my venCaca. I shall be angry,

geance, Terribly angry; I have cause.

No holes por vaults to hide thee from my fury,
Per. That's it;

But thou must meet me face to face to kill thee?
And 'tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry, I would not seek thee to destroy thee willingly,
Angry at heart; yet I must laugh still at thee. But now thou com'st to invite me, com’st upon
By a woman cheated! Art sure it was a woman?
Caca. I shall break thy head; my valour Ilow like a sheep-biting rogue, taken in the man-
itches at thee.

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And ready for a halter, dost thou look now? This place is full of charge, and full of hurry; Thou hast a hanging look, thou scurvy thing ! No part of sweetness dwells about these cities. Hast ne'er a knite,

Mur. Whither you will, I wait ud in your pleVor e'er a string to lead thee to Elysium ;

sure ; Be there no pititul 'pothecaries in this town,

Live in a hollow tree, sir, I'll live with ye. That have compassion upon wretched women, Leon. Ay, now you strike a harmony, a true That dare administer a dram of ratsbane,

one, But thou must fall to me?

When your obedience waits upon your husband. Estif. I know you've mercy.

Why, now I doat upon you, love ye dearly; Per. If I had tons of mercy, thou deserv'st And my rough nature falls, like roaring streams,

Clearly and sweetly into your embraces. What new tricks now a-foot, and what new Oh, what a jewel is a woman excellent, houses

A wise, a virtuous, and a nuble woman! Have you in the air? What orchards in appari- When we meet such, we bear our stamps on both tion?

sides, What can’st thou say for thy life?

And through the world we hold our current virEstif. Little or nothing. I know you'll kill me, and I know 'tis useless Alone, we are single medals, only faces, To beg for mercy. Pray, let me draw my book And wear our fortunes out in useless shadows. out,

Command you now, and ease me of that trouble ; "And pray a little.

I'll be as humble to you as a servant. Per. Do, a very little ;

Bid whom you please, invite your noble friends, For I have a farther business than thy killing.

They shall be welcome all, now experience I have money yet to borrow. Speak when you Has bound you fast unto the chain of goodness. are ready.

[Clushing swords, a cry within-Down with their Estif. Now, now sir, now (Shews a pistol. swords !) Come on. Do you start off from me?

What noise is this? what dismal cry? Do you sweat, great captain? Have you seen a Mar. 'Tis loud too. spirit?

Sure there's some mischief done in the street; Per. Do you wear guns?

Look out there! Estif. I am a soldier's wife, sir,

Leon. Look out, and help. And by that privilege I may be armed.

Enter a Servant. Now, what's the news ? And let's discourse more friendly,

Ser. Oh, sir, the duke MedinaAnd talk of our affairs in peace.

Leon. What of the duke Medina? Per. Let me see,

'Ser. Oh, sweet gentleman ! he's almost slain ! Prithee let me see thy gun; 'tis a very pretty

Mar. Away, away, and help him!
All the house help.

[Exit Servant. Estif. No, no, sir, you shall feel.

Leon. How! slain? Why, Margaritta, Per. Hold, hold, ye villain ! what, would you Wife, sure some new device they have afoot again, Kill your own husband?

Some trick upon my credit; I shall meet it. Estif. Let mine own husband, then,

I'd rather guide a ship imperial, Be in his own wits. There, there's a thousand Alone, and in a storm, than rule one woman.

ducats. Who must provide for you? And yet you'll kill:ne!

Enter DUKE, Sanchio, Alonzo, aud Servant. Per. I will not hurt thee for ten thousand Mar. How came you hurt, sir ? millions.

Duke. I fell out with my friend, the noble coEstif. When will you redeem your jewels? I lonel. have pawned them,

My cause was naught, for 'twas about


honYou see for what we must keep touch.

our; Per. I'll kiss thee;

And he, that wrongs the innocent, ne'er prospers, And get as many more. I'll make thee famous. And he has left me thus ; for charity, Had we the house now!

Lend me a bed to ease my tortured body, Estif. Come along with me;

That, ere I perish, I may shew my penitence. If that be vanished, there be more to hire, sir. I fear I'm slain. Per. I see I am an ass, when thou art near

Leon. Help, gentlemen, to carry him.

[E.reunt. There shall be nothing in this house, my lord, SCENE IV.-A chamber.

But as your own.

Duke. I thank ye, noble sir.
Enter Leon and MARGARITTA.

Leon. To bed with him; and, wife, give your Leon. Come, we'll away unto your country

attendance, house,

[Ercunt Duke, Saxchio, Alonzo, MARGARITTA, And there we'll learn to live contentedly.

and sertunt.





Enter Juax.

By your own nobleness

Leon. Beware, beware-have you no fetch Leon. Afore me, Tis rarely counterfeited.

Mar. No, by my repentance, no.
Juan. True, it is so, sir;

Leon. And art thou truly, truly honest?
And take you heed this last blow do not spoil ye. Mar. These tears will shew it.
He is not hurt, only we made a scuffle,

Leon. I take you up, and wear you next my
As though we purposed anger: that same scratch heart;
On's hand he took, to colour all, and draw com- See you be worth it.

passion, That he might get into your house more cun

Enter ALTEA. ningly. I must not stay; stand now, and you're a brave Now, what with you? fellow,

Alt. I come to tell my lady, Leon. I thank ye, noble colonel, and I hon- There is a fulsome fellow would fain speak with our ye.

her. Never be quiet?

(Exit JUAN. Leon. 'Tis Cacafogo; keep him from the

duke, Enter MARGARITTA.

The duke from him; anon he'll yield us laugh

ter. Mar. He's most desperate ill, sir;

Alt. Where is it, please you, that we shall deI do not think these ten months will recover him.

tain him? Leon. Does he hire my house to play the fool He seems at war with reason, full of wine.

Leon. To the cellar with him ; 'tis the drunkOr does it stand on fairy ground? We're haunt- ard's den, ed.

Fit cover for such beasts. Should he be resty, Are all men and their wives troubled with dreams Say I am at home; unwieldy as he is, thus?


into an augre-bole to shun me. Mar. What ail you, sir?

Ait. I'll dispose him there.

[Erit. Leon. Nay, what ail you, sweet wife,

Leon. Now, Margaritta, comes your trial on : To put these daily pastimes on my patience ? The duke expects you; acquit yourself to him; What dost thou see in me, that I should suffer I put you to the test ; you have my trust, this?

My confidence, my love. Mar. Alas, I pity ye.

Mar. I will deserve them.

[Exit. Leon. Thou'lt make me angry;

Leon. My work is done, and now my heart's af Thou never saw'st me mad yet. Mar. You are always;

I read in every look, she means me fairly;
You carry a kind of bedlam still about ye. And nobly shall my love reward her fort.
Leon. If thou pursuest me farther, I run stark He, who betrays his rights, the husband's rights,

To pride and wantonness; or who denies
If you have more hurt dukes, or gentlemen, Affection to the heart he has subdued,
To lie here on your cure, I shall be desperate.

Forfeits the claim to manhood and humanity. I know the trick, and you shall feel I know it;

[Erit. Are ye so hot, that no hedge can contain ye? I'll have thee let blood in all the veins about SCENE V.-A chamber. Duke discovered in a thee;

night gown. I'll have thy thoughts found, too, and have them opened,

Duke. Why, now, this is most excellent invenThy spirits purged, for those are they that fire ye.

tion. The maid shall be thy mistress, thou the inaid, I shall succeed, spite of this huffing husband. And all her servile labours thou shalt reach at,

I can but smile to think most wary spouses
And go through cheerfully, or else sleep empty: The soonest are deceived.
Tbat maid shall lie by me, to teach you duty;
You in a pallet by, to humble ye,

And grieve for what you lose, thou foolish, wick-
ed woman.

Who's there, my love?
Mar. I've lost myself, sir,

Mar. 'Tis I, my lord.
And all that was my base self, disobedience : Duke. Are you alone, sweet friend?

[Kneels. Mar. Alone, and come to enquire how your My wantonness, my stubbornness, l've lost too.

wounds are. And now, by that pure good faith good wires Duke. I have none, lady; not a hurt about are crowned with,



My damages I did but counterfeit,

He swears he'll have admittance to my lady, And feigned the quarrel to eujoy you, lady. And reels about, and clamours inost outrageI am as lusty, and as full of bealth,

ously. As high in blood

Leon. Let him come up wife, here's another Mar. As low in blood, you mean:

suitor, Dishonest thoughts debase the greatest birth; We forgot; he has been sighing in the cellar, The man, that acts unworthily, though ennobled, Making my casks his mistresses. Sullies his bonour.

Will your grace perinit us to produce a rival? Duke. Nay, nay, my Margaritta;

Dike. No more on that theme, I request, don Come to my couch, and there let's lisp love's lan

Leon. guage.

Leon. Here comes the porpus; he's devilishi Jíar. Would you take that, which I've no right drunk. to give?

Let me stand by.
Steal wedlock's property; and, in luis house,
Beneath the rooi ot him, that entertains you,

Enter Cicaroco drunk.
Would you bis wife betray? Will you become
The ungrateful viper, who, restoreri to life, Caca. Where is my bona roba ? Oh, you're all
Tenomed the breast, which saved him?

here. Why, I dont fear snap dragons--impotenDuke. Leave these dull thoughts to mortifying tial, powerfully potionel-1 can drink with llerpenance;

tor, and beat him, too. Then, what care I for Let us, while love is lusty, prove


captains ! I'm full of Greek wine; the true, inJlar. Ill wishes, once, my lord, iny mind de- tient courage. Sweet Mrs Margaritta, let me based :

kiss thee--your kisses shall pay me for his kick-
You found my weakness, wanted 10 ensnare it: ing.
Shameful I own any tault, but 'tis repented. Leon. What would you?
No more the wanton Margaritta pow,

Caca, Sir!
But the chaste wife of Lcon. His urcat merit, Lcon. Lead off the wrctch.
Ilis manly tenderness, fuis noble nature,

Duke. Most filthy figure, truly.
Guanands from me affection in return,

Caca. Filthy! Oh, you're a prince; yet I can Pure as estcemu can ofter. lle has won me; buy all of you, your wives and all. I ose him all my heart.

Juan. Sleep, and be silent. Duke. Indeed, fair lady,

Cacu. Speak you to your creditors, good carThis jesting well becomes a sprightly beanty.

tain half-pay; Luxe prompts to celebrate sublimer rights. I'll not take thy pawn in. No more memento's; let we press you to me,

Leon. Which of the butts is thy mistress? Aad stille with my kisses

Cacı. Butt in thy belly. Mar. Nay, then, within, there!

Leon. There are two in chine, I'm sure, it is

grown so monstrous, Enter Leon, Juax, Aloxzo, and SaxCLO. Caca. Butt in thy face. Leon. Did you call, my wife? or you, my Leon. Go, carry him to sleep; [Erit Caca. lord?

When he is sober, let him out to rail,
Was it your grace that wanted me? No answer! Or hang himself; there will be no loss of him.
How do you, my good lord? What, out of bed!

Enter Perez and ESTIFANIA,
Methinks you look but poorly on this matter.
Has my wife wounded you? You were well be- Who's this? my Mahound cousin ?

Per. Good sir, 'tis very good : would I had a Duke. More hurt than ever ; spare your re

house, too, proach;

For there's no talking in the open air. I feel too much already.

You have a pretty seat, you have the luck on't, Leon. I see it, sir--and now your grace shall A pretty lady, too, I have missed both; know,

My carpenter built in a mist, I thank him. I can as readily pardon as revenge.

Do me the courtesy to let me see it, Be comforted; all is forgotten.

See it once more. But I shall cry for anger. Duke. I thank you, sir.

I'll hire a chandler's shop close under ye, Leon. Wife, you are a right one;

And, for my foolery, sell soap and whip-cord. And now, with unknown nations, I dare trust ye. Nay, if you do not laugh now, and laugh hearJuan. No more feigned fights, my lord; they tily, never prosper.

You are a fool, coz.

Leon. I must laugh a little;
Enter Lorenzo.

And now I've done. Coz, thou shalt live with Lor. Please you, sir,

ne, Ve cannot keep this gross fat man in order : My merry coz; the world shall not divorce us: Vol. II.



Thou art a valiant man, and thou shalt never I have two ties, mine own blood, and my mistress.

Mar. Is she your sister? Will this content thee?

Leon. Yes, indeed, good wife, Per. I'll cry, and then be thankful;

And my best sister; for she proved so, wench, Indeed I will, and I'll be honest to ye;

When she deceived you with a loving husband. I'd live a swallow here, I must confess.

Alt. I would not deal so, truly, for a stranger. Wife, I forgive thee all, if thou be honest,

Mar. Well, I could chide ye, but it must be And, at thy peril, I believe thee excellent.

lovingly, Estif. If I prove otherwise, let me beg first. And like a sister. Mur. Hold, this is yours, some recompense I'll bring you on your way, and feast ye nobly, for service;

For now I have an honest heart to love ye, Use it to nobler ends than he, that gave it, And then deliver you to the blue Neptune. Duke. And this is yours, your true commis- Juan. Your colours you must wear, and wear sion, sir.

them proudly, Now you're a captain.

Wear them before the bullet, and in blood, too. Leon. You're a noble prince, sir ;

And all the world shall know we're virtue's serAnd now a soldier. Juan. Sir, I shall wait upon you through all Duke. And all the world shall know, a noble fortunes.

mind Alon. And I.

Makes women beautiful, and envy blind. Alt. And I must needs attend my mistress. Leon. All you who mean to lead a happy life, Leon. Will you go, sister?

First learn to rule, and then to have a wife. Alt, Yes, indeed, good brother,

[Exeunt omnes.


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