Mel. By Heaven, 'twere senseless not to be, and you are running horn-mad after your fortune, mad, and see such witchcraft. Lady Touch. My lord, you hear him, he talks idly. Lord Touch. Hence from my sight, thou living infamy to my name! when next I see that face, I'll write villain in it with my sword's point. Mel. Now, by my soul, I will not go, till I have made known my wrongs-nay, till I have made known yours, which (if possible) are greater -though she has all the host of hell her servants! [As she is going, she turns back and smiles at him. Lord Touch. I fear he's mad, indeed—let's send Maskwell to him. [Exeunt LORD and LADY TOUCHWOOD. Mel. Send him to her. Oh, I could curse my stars, fate, and chance; all causes and accidents of fortune in this life! but to what purpose? They talk of sending Maskwell to me; I never had more need of him but what can he do? imagination cannot form a fairer and more plau sible design, than this of his, which has miscarwithout I deal with the devil, or another woman, Women, like flames, have a destroying power, Ne'er to be quenched, till they themselves de [Exit, Lady Touch. Alas, he raves! For Heaven's sake, away, my lord! he'll either tempt you to ex-ried-O my precious aunt! I shall never thrive travagance, or commit some himself. Mel. Death and furies! will you not hear me? why, by Heaven, she laughs, grins, points to your back; she forks out cuckoldom with her fingers, SCENE I. ACT V. Enter LADY TOUCHWOOD and MASKWELL. Lady Touch, Was it not lucky? · Mask. Lucky! fortune is your own, and 'tis her interest so to be; by Heaven, I believe you can controul her power, and she fears it; though chance brought my lord, 'twas your own art that turned it to advantage. Lady Touch. 'Tis true, it might have been my ruin-but yonder's my lord; I believe he is coming to find you; I'll not be seen. [Exit. Mask. So; I durst not own my introducing my lord, though it succeeded well for her, for she would have suspected a design, which I should have been puzzled to excuse. My lord is thoughtful-I'll be so, too; yet he shall know my thoughts; or think he does Enter LORD TOUCHWOOD, What have I done? Lord Touch. Talking to himself! Mask. 'Twas honest, and shall I be rewarded for it? No, 'twas honest, therefore I shall not: nay, rather, therefore, I ought not; for it re wards itself. Lord Touch. Unequalled virtue! [Aside. Mask. But should it be known! then I have lost a friend! He was an ill man, and I have gained; for half myself I lent him, and that I have recalled; so, I have served myself, and, what is yet better, I have served a worthy lord, to whom I owe myself. Lord Touch. Excellent man! [Aside. Mask. Yet I am wretched-Oh, there is a secret burns within this breast, which, should it once blaze forth, would ruin all, consume my honest character, and brand me with the name of villain. vour. Lord Touch. Ha! Mask. Why do I love! Yet Heaven, and my waking conscience, are my witnesses, I never gave one working thought a vent, which might discover that I loved, nor ever must; no, let it prey upon my heart; for I would rather die than seem once, barely seem, once dishonest: Oh, should it once be known I love fair Cynthia, all this, that I have done, would look like rival's malice, false friendship to my lord, and base self-interest. Let me perish first, and from this hour avoid all sight and speech, and, if I can, all thought of that pernicious beauty. Ha! but what is my distraction doing? I am wildly talking to myself, and some ill chance might have directed malicious ears this way. [Seems to start, seeing my lord. Lord Touch. Start not-let guilty and dishonest souls start at the revolution of their thoughts, but be thou fixed, as is thy virtue. Mask. I am confounded, and beg your lordship's pardon for those free discourses which I have had with myself. Lord Touch. Come, I beg your pardon that I overheard you, and yet it shall not need-honest Maskwell! thy, and my good genius, led me hither-mine, in that I have discovered so much manly virtue; thine, in that thou shalt have due reward of all thy worth. Give me thy handmy nephew is the alone remaining branch of all our ancient family; him I thus blow away, and constitute thee, in his room, to be my heirMask. Now, Heaven forbid Lord Touch. No more-I have resolved--the writings are ready drawn, and wanted nothing but to be signed, and have his name insertedyours will fill the blank as well-I will have no reply--let me command this time, for 'tis the last in which I will assume authority-hereafter, you shall rule where I have power. Mask. I humbly would petitionLord Touch. Is it for yourself! [MASKWELL pauses.] I'll hear of nought for any body else. Mask. Then witness, Heaven, for me, this wealth and honour was not of my seeking, nor would I build my fortune on another's ruin: I had but one desire Enter LORD and LADY TOUCHWOOD. Lady Touch. Maskwell your heir, and marry Cynthia! Lord Touch. I cannot do too much for so much merit. Lady Touch. But this is a thing of too great Lord Touch. Thou shalt enjoy it. If all I am moment to be so suddenly resolved. Why Cynworth in wealth or interest can purchase Cynthia? Why must he be married? Is there not rethia, she is thine. I am sure sir Paul's consent will follow fortune; I will quickly shew him which way that is going. Mask. You oppress me with bounty; my gratitude is weak, and shrinks beneath the weight, and cannot rise to thank you-what, enjoy my love! forgive the transports of a blessing so unexpected, so unhoped for, so unthought of! Lord Touch. I will confirm it, and rejoice with thee. [Exit. Mask. This is prosperous indeed! why, let him find me out a villain, settled in possession of a fair estate, and full fruition of my love; I'll bear the railings of a losing gamester-but should he find me out before! 'tis dangerous to delay let me think-should my lord proceed to treat openly of my marriage with Cynthia, all must be discovered, and Mellefont can be no longer blinded. It must not be; nay, should my lady know it-aye, then were fine work indeed! her fury would spare nothing, though she involved herself in ruin. No, it must be by stratagem-I must deceive Mellefont once more, and get my lord to consent to my private management. He comes opportunely-now will I, in my old way, discover the whole, real truth of the matter to him, that he may not suspect one word on't. No mask like open truth to cover lies, Enter MELLEFONT. Mel. Oh, Maskwell, what hopes? I am confounded in a maze of thoughts, each leading into another, and all ending in perplexity. My uncle will not see, nor hear me. Mask. No matter, sir; don't trouble your head; all is in my power. Mel. How, for Heaven's sake? Mask. Little do you think, that your aunt has kept her word-how the devil she wrought my lord into this dotage, I know not; but he is gone to sir Paul about my marriage with Cynthia, and has appointed me his heir. Mel. The devil he has ! What's to be done? Mask. I have it, it must be by stratagem; for it is in vain to make application to him. I think I have that in my head, which cannot fail. Where is Cynthia? Mel. In the garden. Mask. Let us go and consult her: my life for yours, I cheat my lord. [Exeunt. ward enough in raising his low fortune, but he must mix his blood with mine, and wed my niece? How know you, that my brother will consent, or she? nay, he himself, perhaps, may have affections otherwhere. Lord Touch. No, I am convinced he loves [Aside. Lord Touch. His humility long stifled his passion; and his love of Mellefont would have made him still conceal it: but, by encouragement, I wrung the secret from him, and know he is no way to be rewarded but in her. I will defer my farther proceedings in it, till you have considered it: but remember how we are both indebted to him. [Exit. Lady Touch. Both indebted to him! Yes, we are both indebted to him, if you knew all-villain! Oh, I am wild with this surprize of treachery it is impossible; it cannot be-he love Cynthia! What shall I do? How shall I think? I cannot think-all my designs are lost, my love unsated, my revenge unfinished, and fresh cause of fury from unthought-of plagues! Enter SIR PAUL, Sir Paul, Madam, sister, my lady sister, did you see my lady, my wife? Lady Touch. Oh! Torture! Sir Paul. Gad's-bud, I cannot find her high nor low; where can she be, think you? Lady Touch. Where she is serving you, as all your sex ought to be served; making you a beast. Don't you know, that you are a tool, brother? Sir Paul. A fool; he, he, he! you are merryno, no, not I; I know no such matter. Lady Touch. Why, then, you don't know half your happiness. Sir Paul. That's a jest, with all my heart, faith and troth-but hark ye, my lord told me something of a revolution of things; I don't know what to make on't--Gad's-bud, I must consult my wife-he talks of disinheriting his nephew, and I don't know what-look you, sister, I must know what my girl has to trust to; or not a syllable of a wedding, Gad's-bud-to shew you that I am not a fool. Lady Touch. Hear me: consent to the breaking off this marriage, and the promoting any other, without consulting me, and I will renounce | ly meant for a statesman or a jesuit--but thou Sir Paul. Why, what's the matter now? Good Lord, what's all this for? Pooh, here's a joke indeed--why, where's my wife? Lady Touch. With Careless, in the close arbour; he may want you by this time, as much as you want her. Sir Paul. Oh, if she be with Mr Careless, 'tis well enough. Lady Touch. Fool, sot, insensible ox! but remember what I said to you, or you had better eat your own horns; by this light, you had. Sir Paul. You are a passionate woman, Gad's bud—but, to say truth, all our family are choleric; I am the only peaceable person amongst them. [Exeunt. Enter MELLEFONT, MASKWELL, and CYNTHIA. Mel. I know no other way but this he has proposed; if you have love enough to run the venture. Cyn. I don't know whether I have love enough--but I find I have obstinacy enough, to pursue whatever I have once resolved; and a true female courage to oppose any thing that resists my will, though it were reason itself. Mask. That's right-well, I'll secure the writings, and run the hazard along with you. Cyn. But how can the coach and six horses be got ready without suspicion? Mask. Leave it to my care; that shall be so far from being suspected, that it shall be got ready by my lord's own order. Mel. How? Mask. Well, get yourselves ready, and meet me in half an hour, yonder, in my lady's dressing room; go by the back-stairs, and so we may slip down without being observed---I'll send the chaplain to you with his robes; I have made him my own--and ordered him to meet us to-morrow morning at St Alban's; there we will sum up this account to all our satisfactions. Mel. Should I begin to thank or praise thee, I should waste the little time we have. [Exit MEL. Mask. Madam, you will be ready. Cyn. I will be punctual to the minute. [Going. Mask. Stay, I have a doubt-Upon second thoughts, we had better meet in the chaplain's chamber here, the corner chamber at this end of the gallery; there is a back way into it, so that you need not come through this doorand a pair of private stairs leading down to the stablesIt will be more convenient. Cyn. I am guided by you-but Mellefont will mistake. Mask. No, no, I'll after him immediately, and tell him. Cyn. I will not fail. [Exit. Mask. Why, qui vult decipi decipiatur. 'Tis no fault of mine. I have told them in plain terms how easy it is for me to cheat them; and if they will not hear the serpent's hiss, they must be stung into experience and future cautionNow to prepare my lord to consent to thisBut first I must instruct my little Levite; there is no plot, public or private, that can expect to prosper without one of them has a finger in it; he promised me to be within at this hour-Mr Saygrace, Mr Saygrace! [Goes to the chamber door, and knocks. [Mr SAYGRACE looking out.] Sweet sir, I will but pen the last line of an acrostic, and be with you in the twinkling of an ejaculation, in the pronouncing of an Amen, or before you can Mask. Nay, good Mr Saygrace, do not prolong the time by describing to me the shortness of your stay; rather, if you please, defer the finishing of your wit, and let us talk about our business; it shall be tithes in your way. Enter SAYGRACE. Say. You shall prevail; I would break off in the middle of a sermon to do you a pleasure. Mask. You could not do me a greaterexcept- -the business in hand-Have you provided a habit for Mellefont? Say. I have; they are ready in my chamber, together with a clean starched band and cuffs. Mask. Good: let them be carried to him-Have you stitched the gown-sleeve, that he may be puzzled, and waste time in putting it on? Enter Lord TOUCHWOOD and MASKWELL. Lord Touch. Sure I was born to be controuled by those I should command: my very slaves will shortly give me rules how I shall govern them. Mask. I am concerned to see your lordship discomposed Lord Touch. Have you seen my wife lately, or disobliged her? Mask. No, my lord- -What can this mean? [Aside. Lord Touch. Then Mellefont has urged somebody to incense her-Something she has heard of you, which carries her beyond the bounds of patience. Mask. This I feared. [Aside.] Did not your lordship tell her of the honours you designed me? Lord Touch. Yes. Mask. 'Tis that; you know my lady has a high spirit; she thinks I am unworthy. Lord Touch. He has a quick invention, if this were suddenly designed- -Yet he says he had prepared my chaplain already. Cyn. How is this! Now I fear, indeed. Lord Touch. Cynthia here! Alone, fair cousin, and melancholy? Cyn. Your lordship was thoughtful. Lord Touch. My thoughts were on serious business, not worth your hearing. Cyn. Mine were on treachery concerning you, be worth your hearing. Lord Touch. Treachery concerning me! Pray, be plain-Hark! What noise! Mask. [Within.] Will you not hear me? Lord Touch. Unworthy! 'Tis an ignorant pride in her to think so- -Honesty to me is true nobi-tor! No! lity. However, 'tis my will it shall be so, and Cyn. My lady and Maskwell! This may be that should be convincing to her as much as rea-lucky-My lord, let me entreat you to stand be-By Heaven, I'll not be wife-ridden!-hind this screen, and listen; perhaps this chance may give you proof of what you never could have believed from my suspicions. son Were it possible, it should be done this night. Mask. By Heaven! he meets my wishes. [Aside.] Few things are impossible to willing minds. Lord Touch. Instruct me how this may be done; you shall see I want no inclination. Mask. I had laid a small design for to-morrow (as love will be inventing) which I thought to communicate to your lordship-But it may be as well done to-night. Lord Touch. Here is companyway, and tell me. -Come this [Exeunt. Enter Lady TOUCHWOOD, with a dagger, and MASKWELL: CYNTHIA and Lord ToUCHWOOD abscond, listening. Lady Touch. You want but leisure to invent fresh falsehood, and sooth me to a fond belief of all your fictions; but I will stab the lie, that's forming in your heart, and save a sin in pity to your soul. Musk. Strike then-since you will have it so Lady Touch. Ha! a steady villain to the last! Mask. Come, why do you dally with me thus? Lady Touch. Thy stubborn temper shocks me, and you knew it would―This is cunning all, and not courage; no, I know thee well-But thou shalt miss thy aim. Mask. Ha, ha, ha! Lady Touch. Ha! Do you mock my rage? Then this shall punish your fond, rash attempt! Again smile! [Goes to strike, And such a smile as speaks in ambiguity! that various face. your desires. His case is desperate, and, I be Ten thousand meanings lurk in each corner of lieve, he will yield to any condition-If not, here, take this; you may employ it better than in the heart of one who is nothing, when not yours. [Gives the dugger. O! that they were written in thy heart, That I, with this, might lay thee open to my sight! But then 'twill be too late to knowLady Touch. Thou canst deceive every body--Thou hast, thou hast found the only way to turn Nay, thou hast deceived me; but it is as I would my rage; too well thou knowest my jealous soul wish-Trusty villain! I could worship thee. could never bear uncertainty. Speak, then, and Mask. No more-It wants but a few mitell me Yet are you silent? Oh, I am wilder-nutes of the time; and Mellefont's love will cared in all passions! But thus my anger melts- ry him there before his hour. [Weeps.] Here, take this poniard, for my very spirits faint, and I want strength to hold it; thou hast disarmed my soul. [Gives the dagger. Lord Touch. Amazement shakes me-Where will this end? Mask. So, 'tis well-let your wild fury have a vent, and when you have temper, tell me. Lady Touch. Now, now, now I am calm, and can hear you. Mask. [Aside] Thanks, my invention: and now I have it for you--First tell me, what urged you to this violence? For your passion broke out in such imperfect terms, that yet I am to learn the cause. Lady Touch. My lord himself surprised me with the news, you were to marry Cynthia-That you had owned your love to him, and his indulgence would assist you to attain your ends. Cyn. How, my lord! Lord Touch. Pray forbear all resentments for awhile, and let us hear the rest. Mask. I grant you, in appearance all is true; I seemed consenting to my lord; nay, transported with the blessing- -But could you think that I, who had been happy in your loved embraces, could e'er be fond of inferior slavery? Cyn. Nay, good my lord, forbear resentment, let us hear it out. Lord Touch. Yes, I will contain, though I could burst. [Aside. Mask. I, that had wantoned in the rich circle of your world of love, could be confined within the puny province of a girl? No-Yet, though I dote on each last favour more than all the rest, though I would give a limb for every look you cheaply throw away on any other object of your love; yet so far I prize your pleasures over my own, that all this seeming plot that I have laid, has been to gratify your taste, and cheat the world, to prove a faithful rogue to you. Lady Touch. If this were true-But how can it be? Mask. I have so contrived, that Mellefont will presently, in the chaplain's habit, wait for Cynthia in your dressing-room: but I have put the change upon her, that she may be otherwhere employed. Do you procure her night-gown, and, with your hood tied over your face, meet him in her stead; you may go privately by the back-stairs, and, unperceived, there you may propose to reinstate him in his uncle's favour, if he will comply with VOL. II. Lady Touch. I go, I fly, incomparable Maskwell! [Exit. Mask. So! this was a pinch indeed; my inven tion was upon the rack, ar made discovery of her last plot: I hope Cynthia and my chaplain will be ready. I will prepare for the expedition. [Exit. CYNTHIA and LORD TOUCHWOOD come forward. Lord Touch. Astonishment binds up my rage! Villainy upon villainy! Heavens, what a long track of dark deceit has this discovered! I am confounded when I look back, and want a clue to guide me through the various mazes of unbeard-of treachery. My wife! Damnation! My hell! Cyn. My lord, have patience, and be sensible how great our happiness is, that this discovery was not made too late. Lord Touch. I thank you, yet it may be still too late, if we don't presently prevent the execu tion of their plots-Ha! I'll do it. Where is Mellefont, my poor injured nephew? How shall I make him ample satisfaction? Cyn. I dare answer for him. Lord Touch. I do him fresh wrong to question his forgiveness, for I know him to be all goodness- -Yet my wife! Damn her!-She'll think to meet him in that dressing-room-Was it not so? And Maskwell will expect you in the chaplain's chamber-For once I'll add my plot too— let us hasten to find out, and inform my nephew; and do you, quickly as you can, bring all the company into this gallery. I'll expose the strumpet and the villain. [Exeunt. SCENE II. Enter LORD FROTH and SIR PAUL. Lord Froth. By Heavens! I have slept an age -Sir Paul, what o'clock is it? Past eight! On my conscience, my lady's is the most inviting couch, and a slumber there is the prettiest amusement! But where is all the company? Sir Paul, The company! Gad's bud, I don't know, my lord; but here's the strangest revolution, all turned topsy-turvy, as I hope for Providence. Lord Froth, O Heavens! What's the matter? Where is my wife? 2 B |